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Thread: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

  1. #1
    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    For about the last month, things have been absolutely horrible for me. I cannot make $200 a night to save my goddamn life. And it's not just that I'm not making much, I'm making less than practically every girl in the club.

    Tonight I went back to a club I haven't been at in a few weeks, where I've always been a top earner, in hopes of having a good night for a change. I took home less than $150, when the other girls all made well over $300, maybe over $400. They were selling dances all night. I sold one- and only because a friend took pity on me and bought one.

    I don't get it. I always go in with a great attitude. I always look like I'm having a blast on stage. I'm always friendly and sociable with everyone. I look good, my body is in amazing shape, and I wear the nicest costumes, always style my hair, do makeup, etc.

    WHY DOES NO ONE WANT ME ANYMORE?!?

    I'm really getting freaked out. I used to have a decent savings, but my bf kicked me out unexpectedly and the quick move drained what was left of it. I have no savings, and I'm not making enough to be able to pay my bills next month.

    I suppose I could just try to work more shifts...but I really feel like I'm burning out fast now. I'm struggling not to cry in the dressing room by the end of most of my shifts.

    I don't know what to do.

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    Featured Member needtodance's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    I'm in a pretty similar position to you, sweety. It does get frustrating, constantly seeing everyone else earning more.

    I don't really know what to say on how to fix it though-I've found myself picking up a LOT more shifts and still my weekly average is what SHOULD be a nightly average. I mean, i KNOW dancers exagerate their earnings and all, but the proof is visibly there in the dance room.

    Portland is really weird now moneywise. Nothing to do but stick it out and try to keep your spirits up. no burning out!
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  3. #3
    made_of_sequins
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    Me too. And I can't use "the economy is bad" or "the industry's declining" or whatever as an excuse, because I SEE almost all the other girls taking home at least $3-400 a night, usually more. (And don't say "well you should worry about yourself and stop focusing on what other people are making". The way my club is set up, trust me, it's impossible to not notice exactly who does what. And nearly everyone else is getting their $$$ but me.)

    I don't think working more shifts, or longer shifts, is the answer. I've been trying that too, but that's actually making it worse. Because I just burn out and get mentally and physically exhausted sooner, and it's counter-productive to be there after a certain number of hours/shifts. Plus it's easier to subconsciously not have a fire underneath you, and not hustle as hard, when you know that if you don't make your goal, you can just go in tomorrow...early...and early the next day...and the next. But that's draining.

    I wish I could be of help, but all I can do is sympathize. We might not be having the same problem--you say you actually put forth effort. I have fallen into a rut where my self-esteem and confidence is at an all-time low, and because of that I can't even bring myself to approach customers--and on the rare occasion that I do, they can see right through my half-assed attempt at appearing confident. Mostly though, I've been spending my shifts hiding in the DJ booth or DR when I'm not onstage, because who would want dances from a fat chick? So I know why I'm not making money--you can't make money if you never talk to customers!
    Last edited by made_of_sequins; 05-04-2008 at 03:48 PM.

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    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    I am in the exact same position now ! Maybe take a break or switch clubs ? If you figure it out let me know but I think everyone's earnings are down.
    Feel the fear and do it anyway.

  5. #5
    made_of_sequins
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    Quote Originally Posted by twisterinAZ View Post
    I am in the exact same position now ! Maybe take a break or switch clubs ? If you figure it out let me know but I think everyone's earnings are down.
    That's the rub. I would love an "it's not my fault" excuse as to why I'm not making money, because quite honestly I feel like a loser. But I KNOW for a fact that most of the other girls' earnings at my club are anything but down. So I've got to face the fact that it IS my fault that I'm making shit for money. Clearly something that I'm doing is giving me this result, because everyone else is making money as usual.

    Sometimes I wonder about SW in this regard. Despite my current post count after deleting my original account, I have been here for two years--and I've seen this happen time and time again. I'll read all kinds of posts about how money is down in every area and it's because of XYZ uncontrollable factors (usually the economy takes the rap). And then I'll go to work and see a totally different reality--by and large, most girls are always making "stripper money", regardless of whatever external factors...and I don't even work in particularly great-money cities. So I don't get it...the difference between the reality that I read on here and the reality that I see at work is kind of twilight-zone-ish.

    I do like your idea about switching clubs Or even just picking up a few extra shifts at a new club in addition to your home club, if you really want/need to work 5-6 shifts a week. I think this is exactly what I need. New surroundings==new habits, which you can then bring back to your home club. Maybe you've picked up bad habits or negative mindsets without realizing it?

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    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    But how do you KNOW that girls are making that much ? Do they tell you or you are just assuming ?
    Feel the fear and do it anyway.

  7. #7
    made_of_sequins
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    Quote Originally Posted by twisterinAZ View Post
    But how do you KNOW that girls are making that much ? Do they tell you or you are just assuming ?
    At Clubs A, B and C: the bouncer at the front of the couch dance room keeps a count sheet for dances and VIP, which is clearly visible on the table. And yes, everyone looks. When most people have dance-count lines that look like this:
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXX

    and yours looks like this:
    XXXX

    ...I think you can safely assume others are making far more money than you.

    At Club D: we all waited around in a line to cash out at the end of the night, and the bouncers count the tickets back to everyone out loud (so no one can say they were ripped off, or that they only got money for X amount of tickets when they supposedly actually had Y.) It's kind of hard not to know who's making what when you hear it all counted out in a row.

    At Club E, which didn't have end-of-night cashouts or visible dance-count sheets: just randomly seeing girls regularly counting out stacks of large bills, or holding up the line by cashing in up to $1k in funny money...even if you are just minding your own business, you can't help but notice things.

    And really...is it ever not obvious, who goes back to VIP all night and who practically lives in the couch room?

    I'm not saying "you have no excuse for not making money". Obviously, I have no idea how hard you work or what your club is like or any of that. I'm just being honest with myself and admitting "I have no excuse for not making the amount of money that I deserve and that mostly everyone else is pulling in."

    I know that personally, my lack of earnings are completely due to me currently looking like a fat pig and being too lazy to do anything to change that. And as a result, my confidence took a nosedive, so there's my one-two punch. And I have no one to blame but myself.

    Like I said, I don't know anything about you or the OP or anyone else who's having money problems. I'm just saying that it never hurts to take a good hard look at ourselves and be open to the possibility that we might be doing some things wrong, or having destructive mindsets, or picking up bad work habits, or working at a club that doesn't really suit us, or stuck in a rut and not realizing it...and that MAYBE that has more to do with a slump than external factors. Maybe you're right and it is the economy...but what does anyone have to lose by giving themselves a real honest check first?
    Last edited by made_of_sequins; 05-04-2008 at 06:16 AM.

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    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    Anyone over 21 has to wear wristbands at work and sometimes I write my goals on them and it really motivates me to make that and most of the time I at least come close. Once in a while when stripping really frusterates me, I go and get a second job as something else and give myself a break.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    I'm always friendly and sociable with everyone. I look good, my body is in amazing shape, and I wear the nicest costumes, always style my hair, do makeup, etc.

    WHY DOES NO ONE WANT ME ANYMORE?!?

    The question has to be asked ... are you attempting to 'sell' the same level of 'entertainment' that you always have, while other dancers are now offering 'more' ? This possibility goes hand in hand with the 'High Gas Prices' thread.


    And I can't use "the economy is bad" or "the industry's declining" or whatever as an excuse, because I SEE almost all the other girls taking home at least $3-400 a night, usually more. (And don't say "well you should worry about yourself and stop focusing on what other people are making". The way my club is set up, trust me, it's impossible to not notice exactly who does what. And nearly everyone else is getting their $$$ but me.)
    The question also has to be asked ... you can 'see' which girls are earning the $$$, but can you also see what they are offering customers in exchange for those $$$ ?

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    God/dess twisterinAZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    See that's why I asked because my club is nothing like that. They don't keep track of our dances, just the hours we do in VIP. And yes Elvia, there are girls who practically live back there and there is more than dancing going on back there. In fact one of my friends recently told me that she has started grabbing some cock during dances and she is always signed out . Is that what we have to do in this business now ? Has it come to that ?
    Feel the fear and do it anyway.

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    Featured Member AkashaM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    ^^^
    Concentrating on stuff like that when you're having a slump at work is only going to make you angrier and more depressed.

    I used to get mad about what the next chick may be doing in the CR to get the guy to go, but that customer who does buy sex in the CR was someone seeking it in the first place. He was never a prospect for a clean dancer.

    Some guys just ask to see what the girl will say, I dont think everyone expects it.

    A friend told me once sex in the CR is capitalism, lol.

    But anyways, work a different club if you can, join a PP dancer agency and get paid for bookings, or get a square job with a temp agency, if youre that much in an $$$ emergency.
    I'm getting my Dial-A-Stripper service up and running again. If you are in NYC or NJ and are interested in private party dancing, email [email protected] with your SW handle, contact info, photo (if you have one) & best time to call and I'll get back to you asap.

    If you're having a party and need strippers, email me with the details and any questions you have. Thanks!

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    try something that might shift your personality it could make you in a better mood and be more fun, you may not be as enthusiastic and a good seller if you are depressed even if you think you are. my cure for workplace depression-costumes.

    you simply cannot walk around looking depressed in a tinkerbell outfit with a fairie wand dancing to theme based songs. if nothing else youll feel so goddamn silly youll be laughing your ass off. and the guys will love it.

    then again no one wears costumes at my work, so it works for me.

  13. #13
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    ^^^ That's a great idea.

    Try an overhaul of your look. Try to forget about how badly you need the money. I always find that the more I need, the less I make; the money comes when I don't care whether I make any. If you just give up, say to yourself, "Fuck it, I'm not going to make the bills so I'm just gonna have a good time," you may start doing better.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    yep force yourself to do shit you usually dont ( i dont mean extras) if you dont make a lot of eye contact on stage start. dance to goofy ass shit. it will get their attention.

    i can say on slow nights i have busted out milli vanilli and new kids and done some silly kareoke type things and its improved my sales. they want entertainment and anything different then the norm is gold.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post
    The question has to be asked ... are you attempting to 'sell' the same level of 'entertainment' that you always have, while other dancers are now offering 'more' ? This possibility goes hand in hand with the 'High Gas Prices' thread.




    The question also has to be asked ... you can 'see' which girls are earning the $$$, but can you also see what they are offering customers in exchange for those $$$ ?
    It isn't likely in Portland. Everything is out in the open and the club owners are on the hook for prostitution, not the dancers, so they are hard core about shutting down girls who do extras at the clubs. There are places that offer private, closed door action, but it isn't in a club atmosphere.

    Sounds like burnout to me. I've been there and it totally sucks. Take a break from dancing for a bit. Try cocktailing or bar tending for while, maybe?

    Whenever I got burned out, I would go dance in another city/state. That would perk me up and help me get my hustle back.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    .....
    Last edited by sashabunny; 12-22-2008 at 11:39 AM.

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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    Oh dear, I've totally been there. You are psyching yourself out and it is such a vicious cycle! You feel bummed and unattractive and that is totally being conveyed to the customers, which you are conscious of, but doesn't make it any easier to snap out of nonetheless. Conversely, confidence and a big smile does wonders for your earning, but that can be so hard to fake convincingly once you're in that vicious cycle. It can be so devastating to watch EVERYONE around you make more, especially when they aren't any better/hotter.

    You really just need one decent night, or one kick-ass new customer to help you out of your slump. Everyone has slow spells, you WILL come out of it. I love the idea of costumes or switching up your look too! When I am dreading work, I usually try and find a new outfit or accessory, play with makeup, and focus on the music I'm going to dance to.

    If I'm not making money at the club, I focus on enjoying myself to what music I want to hear, and then I usually look like I'm having fun and things fall into place and customers start tipping and talking to me.

    I also just kind of try this little experiment where I'll approach a guy because I'm bored and he looks like he might be entertaining. This isn't to say that I will sit with a guy all night for free, but a lot of my best customers have been guys that I just started shooting the shit and joking around with when it was slow and I had nothing better to do. In fact, this happened a few weeks when it was DEAD at my club, so I started joking around with the only guy in there, out of boredom, and he ended up dropping over $300, thus making it a $400 mid.

  18. #18
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    This was usually the case for me when I danced in LA. But that's because everyone was fucking their customers or they all surged out and enhanced when I wasn't.
    I consistently had XXXXX as my dances and I saw XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX in everyone else's dance sheet. Always. Even the scary bitch with the ratty wig. It totally digs into your self esteem to the point where you just know you're not going to do so well so you kinda stop trying. It's a hard existence.

    When I worked further east in a no contact club, I was one of the top earners because there were no extras allowed. It was hard work having a lot of racial and language barriers to overcome but I did it because I did my best to radiate confidence. Still it was not enough to support my family on because of it being a no contact club.
    I think that maybe upping your sales skills would help a lot. Maybe ask the opinion of another dancer what she thinks you might be doing wrong. Maybe you are focusing too much on the "show" and not being personable enough with the customers? Maybe you're not being "fake" enough and letting them get too much of your time? I don't know. It's all messed up now, not what it used to be or what it should be.

  19. #19
    made_of_sequins
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Melonie View Post

    The question also has to be asked ... you can 'see' which girls are earning the $$$, but can you also see what they are offering customers in exchange for those $$$ ?
    Yes. We all know who does extras, and for the most part those girls have never been the top earners. All they do is weed out the pervs for me. Honestly I don't even worry about them. When my mindset is right and my game is on, I make more doing clean dances than than 98% of the girls that are sucking and fucking.

    This is a perfect example of what I mean about the tendency to look for external excuses instead of doing some potentially unpleasant, but productive self-examination. We all want to think there's something else to blame, whether it's the economy or other girls supposedly doing extras or the "slow season"...but where does that get us?

    Especially you, Melonie...what are you trying to achieve by having others believe that their money-making potential is completely out of their control? I don't know you, so maybe you're just trying to make us feel better by saying "it's not your fault"...but TBH it comes off as malicious. Why would you want to perpetuate the pessimistic (and IMHO totally false) viewpoint that we have no ability to determine or improve our income? Basically saying "if you're not making money, it's because of the economy, so there's nothing you can do about it and you're screwed" is not helpful.

    Please don't misread me, I'm not trying to be a bitch or accuse anyone of sucking at their job. Not my intention at all. And I'm talking as much to myself as anyone else. Just...as long as you're buying into the idea that there is nothing you can do to improve your money, then you'll keep getting the results you're getting now. Why not try a different approach and start believing that you DO have a considerable amount of control over your income, even during your area's "slow season" or in an economic slump or whatever the excuse of the week is.

    This really hit home for me on Friday. 95% of the girls at work spent most of their time and mental energy being mutual vampires--sucking the life out of each other in the DR with constant complaints about how much the crowd sucked, there was no money, everyone was young and broke, blah blah blah. Then at the end of the night, in came the girls that no one had seen all night because they lived out on the floor and didn't stop working. Guess which group of girls went home with "stripper money" that night?

    But wait...how did they make so much when there was supposedly no money in the club and the crowd was broke? The money was there, as it always is. Sometimes it's harder to get, but it's always there. The girls who held the belief that they could make money no matter what (as evidenced by the fact that they hit the floor and hustled nonstop, not even having a minute to listen to the negative reality that was being constructed by most of the other girls)...they made their money. The ones with the negative reality who believed that their money was totally in the hands of fate and "the crowd just isn't right" obviously didn't.

  20. #20
    made_of_sequins
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    Quote Originally Posted by iseestars View Post
    Anyone over 21 has to wear wristbands at work and sometimes I write my goals on them and it really motivates me to make that and most of the time I at least come close. Once in a while when stripping really frusterates me, I go and get a second job as something else and give myself a break.
    You are brilliant, on both counts. Now I want to ask for a wristband just so I can do that! Great idea.

    And you're right; it's so important to have balance in your life--whether it's a non-stripping job, or school, or hobbies, or pursuing whatever your OTC goals and passions are...having a life outside the club will do wonders for your sanity and your money.

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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    shoot, i'm in the same boat, but it's because 1.) ca sucks balls 2.) school demands SOOO much of my time i barely have time to work... damn... may the stripper-forces be with everyone and FAST!!!

  22. #22
    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    Quote Originally Posted by made_of_sequins View Post
    Yes. We all know who does extras, and for the most part those girls have never been the top earners. All they do is weed out the pervs for me. Honestly I don't even worry about them. When my mindset is right and my game is on, I make more doing clean dances than than 98% of the girls that are sucking and fucking.

    I wish it was this way at my club. It's pretty much the exact opposite. If you give clean dances, you are a minority at the club and can still make money sometimes, but you have to put in extra long hours and work at least 4 days a week.
    It's gotten so bad that guys have started to whip their dicks out right when they sit down on the couch in VIP, anticipating and assuming I am going to perform extras.
    Unfortunately for me, my club is the only one out of the 4 or 5 in my small town that is getting any business. The other clubs are cleaner and better run, but haven't seen customers in months.
    As soon as I save enough to buy a new car so I can get a real job, I am out for good.

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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    I was in the same place you are, so I switched to working nights instead of days. I am making a lot more now. The night customers think I am new, and it is refreashing to see a whole different kind of atmosphere. Maybe you can try switching to days if you work nights or vice versa.

  24. #24
    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    Especially you, Melonie...what are you trying to achieve by having others believe that their money-making potential is completely out of their control? I don't know you, so maybe you're just trying to make us feel better by saying "it's not your fault"...but TBH it comes off as malicious. Why would you want to perpetuate the pessimistic (and IMHO totally false) viewpoint that we have no ability to determine or improve our income? Basically saying "if you're not making money, it's because of the economy, so there's nothing you can do about it and you're screwed" is not helpful.

    Please don't misread me, I'm not trying to be a bitch or accuse anyone of sucking at their job. Not my intention at all. And I'm talking as much to myself as anyone else. Just...as long as you're buying into the idea that there is nothing you can do to improve your money, then you'll keep getting the results you're getting now. Why not try a different approach and start believing that you DO have a considerable amount of control over your income, even during your area's "slow season" or in an economic slump or whatever the excuse of the week is.

    This really hit home for me on Friday. 95% of the girls at work spent most of their time and mental energy being mutual vampires--sucking the life out of each other in the DR with constant complaints about how much the crowd sucked, there was no money, everyone was young and broke, blah blah blah. Then at the end of the night, in came the girls that no one had seen all night because they lived out on the floor and didn't stop working. Guess which group of girls went home with "stripper money" that night?

    But wait...how did they make so much when there was supposedly no money in the club and the crowd was broke? The money was there, as it always is. Sometimes it's harder to get, but it's always there. The girls who held the belief that they could make money no matter what (as evidenced by the fact that they hit the floor and hustled nonstop, not even having a minute to listen to the negative reality that was being constructed by most of the other girls)...they made their money

    I never meant to imply that a dancer's earnings potential is COMPLETELY beyond her control. But like all dancers who have observed the changes in our industry over the past 15 years, I have to make the point that the ultimate earnings potential available from 'just dancing' has steadily declined.

    That's not to say that any given dancer, through her own efforts, isn't capable of making the most of a 'bad' situation economically speaking. What kept me going in the business for the past five years was the knowledge that all it takes was one or two respectable and generous 'good' customers per night - irregardless of what other customers were expecting and irregardless of what other girls were 'offering'. However, if those one or two respectable and generous 'good' customers weren't coming into the club anymore, then no amount of effort on my part was going to be able to equalize the fact that other dancers were willing to 'offer' much more than I was to other customers who were expecting maximum 'bang for their buck'. And when it became apparent that the customer base in a particular club was losing respectable and generous 'good' customers, often due to the open availability of 'extras' - and at the same time the club was attracting new customers expecting to receive 'extras' - I did the sensible thing and moved on to different clubs.

    So yes a dancer, through her own efforts, can maximize her earnings potential based on the limits of what she has to work with in terms of club customers as well as her own assets and comfort zone. However, she cannot 'invent' earnings potential by the sheer force of her will alone that simply no longer exists in a given club due to changes in customer base / local economic conditions / customer expectations. This is not an 'excuse' it is the fact of our changing business. Bottom line - if the money is walking in the front door of the club, then there is a chance to go after it. However, if the money is NOT walking in the front door of the club, then no amount of effort or talent is going to be able to 'invent' it.

  25. #25
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    Default Re: Stripping no longer paying the bills...and I am fucked. (kinda long)

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    ^^^ That's a great idea.

    Try an overhaul of your look. Try to forget about how badly you need the money. I always find that the more I need, the less I make; the money comes when I don't care whether I make any. If you just give up, say to yourself, "Fuck it, I'm not going to make the bills so I'm just gonna have a good time," you may start doing better.
    I find it's because you give off a different attitude. You're not doing the job because you need it, you're doing it because you have enough money but CHOSE to be there, CHOSE to be a 'dirty little girl' and you don't need that asshats money but you CHOSE to give him dances anyway. So it makes him feel more special, makes you look naughtier and makes it not seem 'all about the money'.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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