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Thread: Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

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    Default Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

    So I have a problem being able to talk to the boring and socially awkward men because i feel from their reaction that they are not interested in me. I say hi to them and they dont look at me directly or say hi back in a very uninterested voice or just overall look like they hate me. Instead I always just walk away and end up trying to sell to the fun outgoing guy who more than likely isnt going to spend money on me because he can get attention from girls easily already.

    How do you tell though when a guy is genuinly not interested in you vs when he is just socially ackward and would appreciate you warming up to him and can lead to a VIP or champagne room? How do you make interesting conversation with someone who is...well...not interesting? Help. I feel like I am missing out on big money by not being able to hook these guys.

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    Default Re: Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

    You just keep asking questions and smiling. No matter how uninterested a guy is in me I always finish my shpeel before I walk away. Just make it painfully obviously that they are being asked a direct question.

    Me: Hey, my names joplin!
    Akward guy: ::says nothing, just nodds::
    Me: Whats your's?
    AG: John
    Me: Awesome were both J's!! (i don't know why it's funny but they laugh everytime and pretty much every dude name starts with a j it seems)
    Me: would you like a dance?
    AG: ummm...
    Me: Big smile:: ill take that as a yes! Lets move over to the couches so it's more comfortable.

    or in conversation

    Me: so do you live in north austin?
    AG: yha
    Me: cool, i dont, i live in san mar.
    AG: nods head
    ME: yha i know, it's a really long drive! blah blah blah

    If they refuse to talk ab out themselves then just talk about you, or don't at all. Silence isn't death. Or say "it seems like you're shy" real mellow and then they'll probably smile awkwardly and say "yes" and tell them that "believe it or not outside of here I'm shy too", or "I tend to have a lot of shy friends" something they can relate too.

    Basically just take control of the conversation. Now if they're genuinely being rude then I ask them "why they are you being asshole?" flat out. They'll usually admit to it and change or say "it's just my personality" and if you cant hang then ditch him or start being a bigger asshole back, or how ever you do.

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    Default Re: Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

    ^^^I agree with asking questions, it's the only way to get em talkin, then relate. Let them tell you about what makes them who they are and ooze with interest. Talk about video games if it's their thing. I've had many antisocial shy ones tell me all about what they learned through video games while spending hundreds in dancing. Convince them you play them too (I usually say The Sims.. "but my sim doesn't dance as well as me!" or World of warcraft because I had a roommate who played). I also have a nautical, pirate inspired outfit that I surprise nerdy guys with. Pirates seem to be very trendy for a select group of people. A few weeks ago I got this very timid physics grad to spend all his graduation $ on me after changing into that outfit and trying on his skull and cross bone baseball cap.. he was hooked.

    If they're one of those hate the world types listen and agree with their bitching then turn it around with taking their mind off it with a dance. If they seem to think that the rest of the world doesn't understand or get them be sure to emphasize that "people like us" have such an advantage, are so much smarter, above society etc. And act like you find comfort in finding someone "so like minded".

    These guys spend and are generally very polite and grateful for the attention, relate to their interests and cash in!

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    Default Re: Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

    I'm somewhat "socially awkward" myself, and may I just advise that you DON'T say anything like "oh you're shy/quiet". I for one absolutely hate it and as a customer probably wouldn't want to spend time with someone who says that because it makes me uncomfortable.

    Other than that though I agree with what's been said.
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    Default Re: Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

    Hell, i wish ALL guys were like this!!!! it's simply a matter of finding out what 'turns them on.' like orchid says- find their passion, engage them in conversation about something where you two can relate... i dunno about approach #1- unless it's a busy busy club i really don't know many guys that agree to a dance in one sentence (shoot, good for you if you get 'em that quickly- but getting 'em to come BACK is key, too- and that often takes some conversation.) Think of what socially awkward guys like.

    video games
    books/magazines
    tv/movies (EASY topic)
    computers/techie suff
    web forums (HEY, ANOTHER EASY one....)
    cars
    girls
    some like politics, gadgets, MUSIC, robotics, rc shit... or tell them a funny story! YOU be the one to be outgoing- just don't lay it on them- be genuine and not overbearing.

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    Default Re: Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

    Quote Originally Posted by ColetteCalahan View Post
    Hell, i wish ALL guys were like this!!!!
    Oh god-me too! As long as they aren't the sort that dresses in their mother's skin (you all know the type), these are my favorite custies. Especially the straight up geek/dorks. Me likey. I head straight for a comic book /thinkgeek /Rush/WOW/etc t-shirt wearer. They're a little hard to cultivate and get to the VIP, but worth it & they tend to be really good tippers, IME. Once you get them talking, you don't even have to try and keep up your end.

    To the OP-If they are really just sitting there like a bump-spring the question, make it cute and witty. And them move on if they are duds.

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    Default Re: Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

    Thanks, but how can you even tell if these guys are interested in you though?
    Here is my problem. Some times I will go up to guys, older guys especially, and they will either sound like they are not interested in me or do a really quick hi back and then look away. How can I tell if this is a sign that
    a- they think im ugly
    or if its
    b- they are socially ackward and dont know how to be friendly
    usually i take it as a sign that they just dont dig me so i walk away but i feel that maybe some of these guys are shy and they are just coming across as rude but dont mean to be doing so. Is there any way i can ask them nicely if they like me or not without putting them on the spot? Or should I just assume they love me but are shy and try to open them up anyway?

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    Default Re: Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

    Try to take control.

    They're like you- they respond better to outgoing, friendly people. It's that simple most of the time. You just have to take the lead and they'll follow.

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    Default Re: Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

    Oh LAWD!

    This is about you too! Don't even consider that they might "think you're ugly".

    You aren't. I promise, and I've never even seen ya!

    Be Confident! Guys will think you're hot if you think you are. How the hell else can you explain FERGIE??????

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    Default Re: Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

    You have to detach yourself a little bit, and just assume that they are into you. Have the attitude that you are worth it, be confident and friendly, and then close the sale. When I can't tell if a guy is socially awkward, or totally disinterested in me, I try to sell my dances as soon as possible to avoid wasting time.

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    Default Re: Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

    Quote Originally Posted by KittyPryde View Post
    Try to take control.

    They're like you- they respond better to outgoing, friendly people. It's that simple most of the time. You just have to take the lead and they'll follow.
    I agree!

    The funny thing is, in normal life I am the shy type that loves to have someone outgoing to lead them. At the club, I love to be outgoing and lead shy, quiet guys! All you have to know is how to be the appropriate counterpart and you're set!
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    Default Re: Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

    I am a former shy awkward guy turned serial dating fun loving bachelor.

    I was the type who would not make eye contact, especially if I though she was hot. I would also wait for a dancer to take control of the conversation. Often dancers would walk away from me, but secretly I would be hurt and thinking that I am an idiot for not having thought of something better to say.

    My advice would be don't walk away too quickly! After saying hello, give him a chance to catch his breath and then re-initiate eye contact, be sure to be smilling and seductive when he finally looks up. They are looking away because they are nervous and not because they aren't interested.

    Another thing which i would look for is his body language, did you catch him checking you out while you were walking by? Was he paying attention to you while you were on stage?

    A nerdy guy doesn't care if you are the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, he is starved for attention, he just doesn't want to bore you, he wants you to want to talk to him. So If he keeps answering your questions then don't stop asking, no matter how awkward it feels, it gives you control of the conversation and he will want to make you happy by getting dances.

    Also even the shy guys want to think they are 'bad boys', acting aloof is his way of trying to be cool, he doesn't want you to think he is a nerd! He wants you to think he is a bad boy, a guy you find irrisistable and he is acting disinterested to impress you.

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    Default Re: Selling to the Socially Ackward guy

    I find that i tend to be really god with the awkward guys,i try and do what you guys said,ask alot of questions and look like im really interested,crack some jokes and actually i find they respond if you come on real heavy.Like touching their neck or say you like their shirt and touch it.You cant just say "hi my names,wanna dance?"or theyll think your "just like evry stripper"I amp up my flirting skills and i think it makes them feel special...

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