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Thread: Am I wrong???

  1. #1
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    Default Am I wrong???

    Ok. I don't have any outside opinions on this, so this may get a little long, but I really need some help here. Me and my boyfriend are at a deadlock, both thinking that we are right and there is no way the other can't see that. I dont want to back down, but if I'm wrong, I obviously will.

    Me and BF live together, do almost everything together, apart from the random boys night here and there. My BF is big into going on these "guys only" trips, and has taken quite a few in the last year- Boston, Philly, Vegas, Miami. I have not travelled anywhere with my boyfriend except for a ski trip over New Years (mind you, with a bunch of his guy friends, a total "bro" trip with 7 guys and me in the same teeny hotel room).

    I was invited by one of his friends to attend a 4th of July party in LA via facebook. When this came up, I told him we should go, but he was planning on going to Vegas (again, without me) and said he couldn't take that much time off from work in one month. I said okay, whatever.

    Come to find out 2 weeks later that since some of his friends couldn't afford Vegas, that they are all planning on going to this CA trip now. I found out while overhearing him talk about it with our roommate...he didn't even tell me. Oh- PS, I can't come. Even though I was invited TWICE (I declined the first facebook invite, and got a second one today).

    I just think its fucked up that he takes all these fun trips without me, and makes NO point to try and go anywhere fun with me. He thinks its fucked up that he spends every day with me, and I can't let him have a little fun with his friends. Its just that I'm DYING to get out of this city and go somewhere fun with him...and every day vacation day he has is already allotted for these guy trips.

    PS- Before someone says that I should start taking girl trips, thats not what its about. I want to go somewhere with HIM, not my girl friends.

    Am I wrong to give him shit for this?

  2. #2
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    I'm beginning to think all NYC guys are like this. Reminds me of my ex. & his douchebaggery friends.

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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    Methinks you should plan a girls only trip or two. Then plan a trip just for the two of you.

    He is a young dude (if I read your previous posts right) and it may not be registering with him that you want some Vacay-related-romantical alone time with him. I bet he thinks "but babe... I send every day with you!"

    When you're enjoying yourself with your girls and apart from him he may just be inclined to take you up on the one-on-one trip. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka View Post
    I'm beginning to think all NYC guys are like this. Reminds me of my ex. & his douchebaggery friends.
    You should look into dating a Jersey Boy. I highly recommend
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    You should look into dating a Jersey Boy. I highly recommend
    I'm just jaded. lol. Sorry, thread jack.

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    God/dess Sophia_Starina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka View Post
    I'm just jaded. lol. Sorry, thread jack.

    Hehehe.... don't worry fleet week is coming up, right?
    Quote Originally Posted by Jay12 View Post
    ^What Sophia said.
    Quote Originally Posted by yoda57us View Post
    I wish there was an "auto-like" setting that I could just have applied to all of your posts Sophia....

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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    I think you're right.. I'd be highly pissed. In fact, if he didn't cancel one of his stupid boy trips and take me for a vacation with just us, I'd leave his ass. That's ridiculous.

    Animals are my friends, and I don't eat my friends.
    - George Bernard Shaw

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Starina View Post
    Hehehe.... don't worry fleet week is coming up, right?

    Oh yeah!

    Aubreyyy, i'd be furios too. Not only is he making plans & not telling you, he's not inviting you. You have every right to be pissed off. How old is he?

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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    You are NOT wrong. If he feels like he needs some time apart it should be more day-to-day and not him doing all the fun stuff alone (not saying an occassional guy trip is bad). Talk to him about it. See if you two can't compromise with him getting some alone guy time closer to home and BOTH of you going on some fun trips together.

    Best of luck!
    Jasmine

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    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    Deeply annoying. You are not wrong.

    Tell him it's about quality time, not quantity time, and that you feel he should do something nice for you with the quickness to make up for your hurt feelings. If he did, I'd take it and start plotting a trip of my own.
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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    Why can't you go on the Cali trip? You were invited!

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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseLeigh View Post
    Why can't you go on the Cali trip? You were invited!
    exactly
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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    this is just another case of bros before hoes.

    that, or they are having gay orgies.

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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    Not going on the Cali trip b/c I don't want to go and piss him off...it'd just be a miserable weekend for me now that he doesn't want me to go.

    And the reason he doesn't like me going on these trips is bc he gets fucking out of control drunk every time and when he does this around me I am quick to remind him what an ass he's making of himself.

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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    Quote Originally Posted by Aubreyyy View Post
    Not going on the Cali trip b/c I don't want to go and piss him off...it'd just be a miserable weekend for me now that he doesn't want me to go.

    And the reason he doesn't like me going on these trips is bc he gets fucking out of control drunk every time and when he does this around me I am quick to remind him what an ass he's making of himself.
    I can understand that. Sometimes I push the boy out the door to go to some party without me, because I KNOW he needs to go be foolish around boys. (I've seen it-they dance like freaking Backstreet Boys. )

    Is he very young? Sounds like he can't equate a nice realxing vaca with fun. Sometimes it takes guys a while to get to that point. No excuse though. Is there a possibility of a weekend bender with the two of you to let him see you are 'fun'?

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    Default Re: Am I wrong???

    What would happen if you just dropped talking about and made your own plans to go to Cali yourself? Make plans to stay with seperate friends and do things independantly. You were invited to the party, so if its in your means to go, then go. Not to spite him, really but you're not immobile and you can roll in the same set as he does whether you're a woman or not. Show up to the party and just be there. If he doesn't talk to his own girlfriend at a party then, sure, he's a real douche but if this is his opportunity for his boys trip let him have it and do your own thing (girl's trip) while in Cali. You still get to see him but there are no hard feelings about the travel.
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