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Thread: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

  1. #1
    Featured Member iambonbon05's Avatar
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    Default A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    The way my club is set up, there isn't a "rack" or a "tip rail"... there is a stage with tables and chairs scattered around. Normally I like this because guys feel like real assholes if they're not tipping, but of course there's always the ballsier ones.

    This guy comes and sits on a bench and I'm watching him... and he doesn't tip. I do my set, still no tip. I wasn't the first girl either, I knew he hadn't tipped anyone, not even the bartender and it wasn't even like he was off in a corner either, he was right next to the stage.

    I go up at the end of my set, and say in a playful sort of voice, "you're not going to tip me???"

    He goes OH uh... I have these four quarters, you want them?

    I raise my eyebrows and say, uh, no thanks. Enter the dressing room. I was talking to a dancer about him saying that if he was still there on my next set I'd tell him that if he can't cough up a measly couple bucks that I would tell him to leave my stage and go sit in the corner with his dunce hat on.

    Then it occurred to me to actually make him a dunce hat.

    Got a piece of paper, some tape and a marker and made a hat that said "I'm a strip club DUNCE (I tried to tip a dancer with 4 quarters)(and barely tipped anyone else)"

    In this situation I normally would've given a dirty look or if feeling particularly vindictive would've taken his beer and said "thanks for the tip!". But this guy is so cheap he's not even drinking beer, he's drinking water which is free at our club.

    So I have a hat for him. The timing was difficult forever because FOR THE LOVE OF GOD some idiot dancer is sitting with him for absolutely nothing for at least an hour, and I didn't want to make her mad by giving him his hat when she was right there and possibly piss him off enough to make him leave.

    Ended up deciding to wait for her to go up on stage. But he went to leave before that, so I chased after him. I yelled "wait up!"

    He stopped and I said "you have a prize."

    "a prize?"

    "yes, a very special prize that is rarely given out, in fact you're the very first person to every get this prize"

    Plopped it on his head, said "there you go", whipped around and walked back on the floor. Didn't get to see his face but another dancer that was watching was laughing her ass off.

    Woo, that was long. The end.
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    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine View Post
    (Being Catholic never truly leaves you. It's a lifelong disease.)
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Hey, lapdances cost at LEAST 5 chickens. If you be offering them for one chicken, you be lowballin' girl.

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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    Hilarious!

    I wish I had the balls to do that at my club, lol.

  3. #3
    Senior Member muladoll's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    I love it!! I had one of those assholes this last weekend. I was on a small stage where the guys can literally reach out and touch if they wanted to, but that's against the rules. When I asked this jackass for a tip, he didn't even bother to offer 4 quarters though.

    Good for you.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    thats funny, my management would shit if i tried to pull that at my club.

  5. #5
    made_of_sequins
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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    hahahahaha! omg I would have PAID to see that! You win.

    My managers would shit themselves if I did that too... the only thing I do is "accidentally" edge my shoes over to their drinks and knock them into their laps.

  6. #6
    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    What the HELL has been with the change givers lately? It seems it has happened more in the past few months than ever.
    Had a guy try to tip me with 4 quarters last week. OK, DUMBASS, HELLO??? 4 quarters equals a dollar, BTW, incase you forgot that shit you learned in the first grade. Obviously not enough brain power or respect to go to the bar and change it in for a dollar bill....
    Tonight I had a guy approach me at the second stage with .75 cents! When I gave him the WTF look, he got all defensive and goes "I don't get you chicks. You always complain about us not tipping you, then here you go rejecting money!"
    I had to pee and started laughing so hard I almost peed myself.

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    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    Wow, you have some balls! Great story.

  8. #8
    Featured Member iambonbon05's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    Management is pretty cool, plus this guy literally had nothing invested. During the day we don't have a cover charge. He wasn't tipping the girls. He bought a soda ($3.50), didn't tip the bartender and didn't tip the girls except maybe a couple bucks to Idiot Dancer That Was Talking to Him, and when done with his soda probably had three glasses of free water.

    So literally he was there for a good couple hours and had spent about five whopping dollars. No dances of COURSE, even though it was Twofer Tuesday and dances are only $20 in the first place. Even if I did piss off Idiot Dancer, I would've been doing her a favor by making him leave.

    When the girl who went up after Idiot Dancer was on stage, I actually saw him start to pull out a dollar for her, and then put it back in his pocket, apparently deciding that was too spendy.
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    Quote Originally Posted by madmaxine View Post
    (Being Catholic never truly leaves you. It's a lifelong disease.)
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Hey, lapdances cost at LEAST 5 chickens. If you be offering them for one chicken, you be lowballin' girl.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    Every club should have an asshat for guys like that. What a sad tale of cheapness he is. Wow, he spent only $5 dollars? Watch out now that invisible bank roll might be too heavy.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    Eh the last guy that did that shit at a club I used to work at, I went up to do a firefly and mad sure my heel caught the neck of his beer bottle. My manager got pissed and asked why I kicked it over. I said "to get his ass off the fucking tip rail because he wasn't TIPPING" manager just said oh I see... No more issues after that. Jerk got up and left after that

  11. #11
    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    Awesome story!!

    And they wonder why they have to come into stripclubs just for women to socialize with them. Pathetic!







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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    Yeah what a cheap ass, I was on my crimson wave that night too so EVERYTHING just made me angry lol

  13. #13
    Senior Member kittytheflamingo's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    Ah, yes, broke arrogance. We had a guy throw his pocket change on stage and the dancer on stage reached over, whipped his baseball cap off his head and beat him senseless with HIS OWN DAMN HAT! he he somebody's gotta teach 'em a lesson or it will only get worse, thanks for doing your part!

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    Veteran Member Fionaver's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    One of the girls at my work ATE the stage about a week ago, when some asshat threw .39 on the stage.

    She hit the nickel and flipped/flew onto her back.

    She's got a welt the size of a fist between her stripper dimples now...

    Bastids.

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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    What the FUCK? GRRRRR NOT COOL.

  16. #16
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: A Tale of a Bastard That Wouldn't Tip

    Quote Originally Posted by kittytheflamingo View Post
    beat him senseless with HIS OWN DAMN HAT!
    LLLLLLLOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL

    I would have gone apeshit with laughter

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