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Thread: Post postpartum ? Anyone ??

  1. #1
    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Post postpartum ? Anyone ??

    Omg , I swear I feel like I am going through my postpartum again . My daughter just turned two and all the sudden I am having all those awful and embarrassing feelings .....Like not wanting her , feeling like my life would be so much better with out , my temper is so short with her .

    Of course this is all made worse by the fact that she is 2 and going through all the awful things 2 yr olds go through .

    To make matters worse I am starting to date and make friends , I am getting a life again and its making me want to be away from her all the time . I am just so unhappy ......

    She is really sweet and she loves me so but I dont even miss her when I go out , I dont even think of her really . She misses me though , she wont sleep for my mom when I am gone , she waits until i am home ....she is extra clingy to me . I gave her alot of time and special treatment .


    I dunno what to do ....sometimes I feel like she would be better off with someone else because she is such a nice person and so sweet and smart ....wouldnt someone else appreciate her so much more ....ugh , I am taking vitamins they help ....I do love her and I know its not her fault . I am just chemically unbalanced I guess ........
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  2. #2
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: Post postpartum ? Anyone ??

    I can't say that I really relate, but I do hope you seek help for this problem. I can't imagine that this is good for her to have a mother who feels this way.

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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post postpartum ? Anyone ??

    I dont think I need "help" like professional help . I just think I need to balance out my life , things are pretty chaotic and I never really had structure before , i was a free spirit if you will .

    I dunno .....I was just feeling extra stress today , I love her so much and I know I am a good mom to her . I see other parents out all the time and I am just shocked at how awful they are ......still I have alot of parental guilt and it wares on me .......


    I feel better now , we went out to the store . I just need to stick to schedule so I have more time for me and more time for her ....not always running around , feeling stressed .
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  4. #4
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Post postpartum ? Anyone ??

    Honey (HUGS) I understand how you feel. You love her, you want nothing but the best for her but you no longer feel like a human, you feel as if you no longer matter because the world revolves around her but you do matter and if you are not happy guess what? she isn't going to be either.

    I have a 5 and 2 yr old so I understand, Some days it's like they have been placed here to show me eternal, pure love and the next day I want to run away as fast as I can and not look back.
    ]
    It is so hard speaking about this because some people will say "omg how can you feel that way what a monster!" and it's not like you are doing it on purpose it's how you feel, and you feel like you are no longer you, well this is how I feel.

    I am going to get together with other moms, found a group in my township cause I am a SAHM and I have not a freaking adult conversation all day till my husband gets home and he's been a real ass lately but I'm thinking I may need therapy cause I feel guilt and it is not their fault you know, they are doing what they are supposed to, they are kids and as an adult you forget that you too were a kid and must of done the same things but we want them to be a certain way and act a certain way because you are tired, lonely, bored, and so on and so on.

    I am here for you, I feel your pain and know you are so not alone.

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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post postpartum ? Anyone ??

    Thank you ......I dont want to get attacked for the way I feel . Just because I feel a certain way does not mean I act that way . Sure my daughter knows that sometimes I am not as fun or whatever but I am know I am a good mom , I dont any other way to be and I am sure that has a lot to do with the stress .


    I appreciate your kind words xoox Thank you so much . It is so hard , I am a single mom and my mom is stressed out all the time too .....ugh I could go on and on with the guilt I feel .
    Visit me on myspace , Let me know if your from SW !!!!

  6. #6
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Post postpartum ? Anyone ??

    Well being a mother is one of the hardest jobs in the world. being a father as well.

    It isn't something you can say "eh I don't feel like doing it anymore I quit"

    You are in it for the rest of your life and because of that at times you feel holy crap it's never going to change but sweety it does. Your child is 2 and needs you a lot right now and this has a lot to do with it. My 5 yr old is easy going most of the time but when he was 2 I wanted to do things like ohhh water the grass, take the garbage out things I would not normally do just to have a break from him and it was because of all the demanding things it takes to deal with a small child but it gets better, trust me.

    Challenges will always be there but they will be nt the "mom, mom, mommy, mom waaaaaaaaa, mom, mom" so you hang in there, and about the guilt I understand. There are people in this world that would love a child more than anything, people who have lost children and will thing of us as monsters but we want nothing but love and not a damn bad thing to happen to our kids, we are just overwhelmed at the moment babe and this too shall pass.

    Now if you feel at any point you want to harm your child, seek medical attention because that is something to be very concerned about.

    But always tell to yourself "this shall pass"

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    Veteran Member christian211's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post postpartum ? Anyone ??

    I think you just have to find more balance between the mommy you and the personal you. When all you do is live, eat, and breathe your child and do almost nothing for yourself, it's really easy to become resentful of the child and how she has stolen your life. You become a shell of your former self. I know, I've been there. My kids are 3 and 17 mo and just now w/ the 3yo am I starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It does get better. Honestly, it's really tough, but there's nothing more rewarding in the world.
    If mommy's happy, everyone is happy. Don't underestimate this saying. Work on making your personal self happy and everything will flow better. Perefect? Never, but better than it is now, def Hang in there. Just a few more yrs

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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post postpartum ? Anyone ??

    Thank you so much guys , I really appreciate it .

    I never feel the urge to hurt her , I mean why ? lol , it would just make her cry more .....sorry bad joke but really , hurting your child only causes more problems .

    She just went poo poo on the potty tonight and did pretty well all day with going pee , thats exciting and thats kind of some of the light at the end of the tunnel I suppose .

    Its hard , I cant go out on a date this Friday night with this guy I am seeing because my mom is having pms and doesnt feel like watching my daughter . Thats more stress but what can you do ?

    I love her so much , she is best kid ever , she is so cute and smart and funny ....and thank god healthy .

    I feel so much better sometimes when I talk to other moms with kids her age because they are all doing the same stuff my kid is doing .....its makes it easier when its "normal" kid stuff oxox

    Thanks xooxox
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    God/dess kitty260's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post postpartum ? Anyone ??

    Oh wow. Reading that was spooky. I'm going through this too, except my little one is only four months old.

    For me, it's worse after I get together with my friends. I have two in med school, one in dentistry, one working on his master's degree....and it hurts so badly to know that I'd be there with them if I hadn't decided against the abortion. I love my daughter, but I threw my entire life away to have her.

    I'm taking a phlebotomy program right now, but I hate myself because I know that's probably the most I'll ever make of myself now, when just a year ago I had every opportunity to be anything I wanted to be. It's so embarassing. I'm ashamed of myself when I have to admit what I'm taking to people that know I finished high school with a scholar's award and heaps of scholarships. The best I can hope for is paltry $20 an hour in a job that essentially anyone could do. And sometimes I just let my mind run in circles of awful depressive thoughts and I blame my daughter for my ruining my life and squandering my potential. I know it isn't her fault, it's MY fault for screwing up and getting pregnant. But I still resent her sometimes, when I'm having a particularly bad day.

    Whew. That felt good to type out. I feel ya, Sindi. I hope it gets better. I hope I feel better once I finish school so I can feel like I'm not such a useless drain on society.
    \

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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Post postpartum ? Anyone ??

    Quote Originally Posted by kitty260 View Post
    Oh wow. Reading that was spooky. I'm going through this too, except my little one is only four months old.

    For me, it's worse after I get together with my friends. I have two in med school, one in dentistry, one working on his master's degree....and it hurts so badly to know that I'd be there with them if I hadn't decided against the abortion. I love my daughter, but I threw my entire life away to have her.

    I'm taking a phlebotomy program right now, but I hate myself because I know that's probably the most I'll ever make of myself now, when just a year ago I had every opportunity to be anything I wanted to be. It's so embarassing. I'm ashamed of myself when I have to admit what I'm taking to people that know I finished high school with a scholar's award and heaps of scholarships. The best I can hope for is paltry $20 an hour in a job that essentially anyone could do. And sometimes I just let my mind run in circles of awful depressive thoughts and I blame my daughter for my ruining my life and squandering my potential. I know it isn't her fault, it's MY fault for screwing up and getting pregnant. But I still resent her sometimes, when I'm having a particularly bad day.

    Whew. That felt good to type out. I feel ya, Sindi. I hope it gets better. I hope I feel better once I finish school so I can feel like I'm not such a useless drain on society.

    OOooh *HUGS* to you and to me , we need hugs girl !! I think you hit the nail on the head so to speak , I think thats the issue with alot of this type of depression , we now we didnt get to do some of the important goals we had pre-baby .

    I love my daughter , i cant say it enough but my body is covered in scars and my life will never be the same......it will be good though .

    Your life will be good and I am sure you have heard it before but you can finish school still , it wont be the same but you can do it . Lots of people with kids go back to school .

    I have a sorta friend whos in her 30 and premed , no kids and pretty much wont have any because it will stop her from reaching her "Dream" but let me tell you this chick has baby fever honey . That career will never make you as happy as your child does , will and can . *hugs* xoxo
    Visit me on myspace , Let me know if your from SW !!!!

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