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Thread: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

  1. #101
    Senior Member AtomicPunk's Avatar
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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Maybe it's just the world I live in but I don't think that double standard exists anymore.
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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by noggin77 View Post
    Yes - very happy with the choice. Interesting thing - a friend asked me tonight, "do you think it would have been different for the two of you if you had met outside the club and then found out?" I said yes - it would have been - and please excuse this awful metaphor - like the frog that was thrown into boiling water instead of the one who was boiled. My point being - it has been much easier since it was known from the beginning instead of something that was revealed after feelings had developed.



    Not a terrible assumption. We met about a year ago (rather, I met her club persona) and began exchanging emails. We've been dating for about six months and have been an exclusive couple for about three.



    The situations are not anything drastic and may seem small potatoes, if that, to many in these forums. But hands on breasts and kissing (and even as I write that those seem small to me) are jarring to me... and part of that, I'm sure, is because I'm very new to this.



    She is truly amazing. But it's really not fear of her leaving or anything of that nature. I think there was a bit of that at first - but she has made abundantly clear the steadfastness of her commitment to "us". As I've told her - I trust her implicitly. She's the constant in the equation - it's the others who are the variable. And even if you fully subscribe to the "acting" part of it... "it's not me, it's a character" (and that is not meant to be snide) - it's generally not acting for the other person. While they may recognize it as fantasy, they are still very much themselves. I know - I've been there. And, on top of that, there's simply the idea of me not being a huge fan of several strangers' hands on my girlfriend... not trying to stake a claim - but it doesn't thrill me.

    All that being said... I'm really working on it (hence looking up this site) and even if I don't like it, want to be able to support her as my girlfriend.

    That is all... sorry for the long post.

    You do realize you just compared your relationship to being horribly painful killed right? It's not that bad. LOL

    See, when you say there's kissing and boob touching going on - that's a high contact place to me. There are a lot of different opinions on that though.

    All I can say is you're relationship is very new and the situation is very new. If you trust her, you don't have anything to worry about unless you think she's working in a place where she could be forced. Then maybe a new club is in order. Otherwise, it takes two to do something that would make you feel betrayed. Just express what you think is unacceptable work behavior, be willing to make compromises and don't nag her about it. Good luck and just remember... the close mindedness in your first paragraph may cause problems in your future.

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTempest View Post
    You do realize you just compared your relationship to being horribly painful killed right? It's not that bad. LOL
    Yes, I realize that. - hence the "please excuse this awful metaphor". My intention was simply to say that it was easier to become acclimated to the situation since it existed from the beginning than it would be to be sideswiped by it later.

    Again, it has little, if anything, to do with trust or betrayal. I know what the deal is and did from the beginning. It simply has to do with my ability to cope with what is or may be going on while she's there. She's doing what is good for her and I'm not going to ask her to change (and will try to avoid nagging!). These are her choices, not mine. I don't want to lose her and therefore, I surmise, must make a paradigm shift. This, then, is a step in that direction.

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by sexyi86 View Post
    I know this is for customers asking dancers questions but I have a question for the customers. When you meet some1 for the very 1st time & you find out the girl is a stripper, is that a turn on or turn off? I know some people are all like ECKKK but others are fascinated. How you guys feel?
    I think you can see that this question spawns heated debate.

    We have debated it on the customer side, http://www.stripclubjunkie.com many times and same old debate everytime...

    Here is, maybe, an eye opening question for you. Turn it around. If you met someone for the very first time how would you feel about the guy telling you one of his preferred forms of entertainment was to go to Strip Clubs?

    Ask the question of yourself seriously. People commonly talk about what they spend their time and money on entertainment wise. So how would you feel about a guy telling you he enjoyed being a customer (vs say some other entertainments like going to the movies, night clubbing, sports, live music, etc.)?

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    Veteran Member CherryonTop's Avatar
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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by gameover View Post
    it probably is a double standard, but it's one that's been around for a long time. If a guy has sex, it is "way to go, man! If a girl does, it is "what a slut!" Probably a carry over from historical times when a man's inheritance went to his children, and the man needed to ensure that the offspring were his. Plus, women can get pregnant. Both of those have probably contributed to the double standard.
    Ohh, so that's ok then - I mean, if it's something that's been around for a long time, then hey - it's fine, right?

    *sigh*

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    I think you can see that this question spawns heated debate.

    We have debated it on the customer side, http://www.stripclubjunkie.com many times and same old debate everytime...

    Here is, maybe, an eye opening question for you. Turn it around. If you met someone for the very first time how would you feel about the guy telling you one of his preferred forms of entertainment was to go to Strip Clubs?

    Ask the question of yourself seriously. People commonly talk about what they spend their time and money on entertainment wise. So how would you feel about a guy telling you he enjoyed being a customer (vs say some other entertainments like going to the movies, night clubbing, sports, live music, etc.)?
    If I was already talking to the guy and interested in him, why would it phase me? So he likes naked girls - well so do I, one more thing in common!

    My boyfriend likes to visit the strips occaisionally, though I guess he's not a junkie. My old flatmate was, and he's an awesome guy.

    *shrug*

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    I think you can see that this question spawns heated debate.

    We have debated it on the customer side, http://www.stripclubjunkie.com many times and same old debate everytime...

    Here is, maybe, an eye opening question for you. Turn it around. If you met someone for the very first time how would you feel about the guy telling you one of his preferred forms of entertainment was to go to Strip Clubs?

    Ask the question of yourself seriously. People commonly talk about what they spend their time and money on entertainment wise. So how would you feel about a guy telling you he enjoyed being a customer (vs say some other entertainments like going to the movies, night clubbing, sports, live music, etc.)?
    I personally wouldn't mind but it's still different from being a dancer and being a customer. I would be less likely to judge someone's job, it's a way to make money. Things that people do for entertainment are desires, not needs. Me making money is a NEED!

    So, instead I'm going to switch it around for real. What if you met a man and he is a stripper?? I've been to male revues and those women are just as bad as some men.

    I still wouldn't care 'cause he'd be smoking hot... KIDDING.

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTempest View Post
    I personally wouldn't mind but it's still different from being a dancer and being a customer. I would be less likely to judge someone's job, it's a way to make money. Things that people do for entertainment are desires, not needs. Me making money is a NEED!
    I am reasonably convinced now that the difference lies in the fact that sexuality is involved, and the rest of the arguments are one's of personal convienence.

    I'm also convinced now that the I need a job vs a customer wants entertainment argument is a red-herring. Two examples...

    First example... All people can say I NEED a job, but you probably also don't see that argument as valid if it is a job you don't approve of. For example, a lot of people don't see the "i need a job" argument as good reasoning for why there are executives making millions a year at Philip Morris. The I need vs want argument is a matter of point of view since it could be argued that we all could take other jobs, and we all could accept less money... so I need can be seen as I want this job or I want a job that pays well.

    Second example... If a musician met a music listener, the musician probably does not look poorly on the listener. The whole argument of "I need a job" vs "you just WANT to listen" never enters into it. Hopefully even, the musician is appreciative that there fans out there who make the job something that pays.

    p.s. side point... most customers also NEED jobs and have them. When they are not at the club they are often at their jobs to fullfil that need. But like I said, I am reasonably convinced now it's a red-herring. That the real reason for the madonna-whore and customer-loser tensions are due to the fact that human sexuality is involved.
    Last edited by xdamage; 05-10-2008 at 08:20 AM.

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTempest View Post
    So, instead I'm going to switch it around for real. What if you met a man and he is a stripper?? I've been to male revues and those women are just as bad as some men.

    That is a good way to turn around too

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    I just can't agree. I don't see my need to pay my bills and survive as being the same as something that a person could easily do without, like going to a strip club or hell even listening to music (but don't ask me to stop doing it myself!) The fact is, a stripper and a dancer are in the clubs for very different reasons even though they over lap (I'm pun-ny).

    I don't see an unnecessary seeking of pleasure being equal to a job. I'm not saying that I would discount a man for his place as a customer, I'm just saying that making that comparison isn't the same to me, not even close. Like I said, it's closer to compare a woman dating a male dancer.

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTempest View Post
    I just can't agree. I don't see my need to pay my bills and survive as being the same as something that a person could easily do without, like going to a strip club or hell even listening to music (but don't ask me to stop doing it myself!) The fact is, a stripper and a dancer are in the clubs for very different reasons even though they over lap (I'm pun-ny).

    I don't see an unnecessary seeking of pleasure being equal to a job. I'm not saying that I would discount a man for his place as a customer, I'm just saying that making that comparison isn't the same to me, not even close. Like I said, it's closer to compare a woman dating a male dancer.
    The reasoning is this...

    All of us need to pay bills, including the customers. Many of us do or have in our pasts worked in really crappy low paying jobs. There are thousands of possible jobs. Not all pay as well. Not all are equally easy. Still, we are adults. We live in a free country. We do have choice in what we choose to do, and how much we will make. So people aren't judging the "I need a job" part. We all have that need. They are judging the choice of that job vs all possible others. If a customer has an issue with sexuality for money, that is what they are having an issue with, not with needing a job.

    The second part is that for those people whose job it is to provide entertainment, well there would be no such job if there weren't people who spent on entertainment. As an entertainer, you NEED them. Yes, it's just a choice, but it's ironic to belittle it too much because if everyone woke up tomorrow and decided spending money on entertainment was a huge waste, you'd be out of work. No customers means no job. You are in a symbiotic relationship with them, and it's a matter of POV to see yourself as in the more important symbiotic half.

    p.s. I wanted to add here too... Stripping is arguably just a want, period.
    Many societies survive and thrive just fine without strip clubs. People manage to find work. People manage to be entertained. From a certain POV then, both those who find work in the field and those who enjoy it as the entertained are beneficiaries of the freedom to live in a society that allows it, but it is not a NEED. Societies don't NEED Strip Clubs if your definition of is feeding people, clothing them, just the bare basics needed to sustain life.

    Stripping is a want. Workers want it. Customers want it. But it could be argued it is just entertainment and not really necessary to survival. If all SCs were closed tomorrow nothing dramatic would change. People would go on working. People would go on being entertained via other venues. You'd be personally affected and have to different job, maybe one that pays less, maybe barely survive, but then if we take the extreme argument, most of us Americans live far better then many in the world. Many live on much less, and would argue that much of what American's see as NEED is just WANT.
    Last edited by xdamage; 05-10-2008 at 09:07 AM.

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    I was referring to discounting someone as a potential partner though. I know I need customers just as much as they need us.

    To your original point, if I met a guy and I really liked him or felt he was worth investigating and I found out he was a strip club patron, I wouldn't bat an eyelash and I feel most would agree. Again, I only feel this way as to OTC meetings because ... well honestly I rarely have enough time to really get to know someone while at work. And true, it's not my priority. I'm not saying I don't give a shit about them, I just can't memorize everyone's life story in an hour. I don't see myself being intrigued by someone who comes into the club enough to date. It could happen though. Some guys have really turned my head.

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    I asked that same question and got very little reply. I guess it's b/c I'm what forum people call a "newbie". Oh well lesson learned
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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTempest View Post
    To your original point, if I met a guy and I really liked him or felt he was worth investigating and I found out he was a strip club patron, I wouldn't bat an eyelash and I feel most would agree.
    That's good.

    I agree, it's just interesting because stripping is one of those jobs/entertainments where there seems to be such tension. Customers and Dancers both benefit, yet the Madonna-Whore and Customer-Loser mindset enters into it.

    I guess it's just that way when it comes to sexuality. It raises such strong feelings in us people, good or bad. I think a lot of other jobs are far more neutral in most people's minds because sexuality is not involved.

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by gameover View Post
    it probably is a double standard, but it's one that's been around for a long time. If a guy has sex, it is "way to go, man! If a girl does, it is "what a slut!" Probably a carry over from historical times when a man's inheritance went to his children, and the man needed to ensure that the offspring were his. Plus, women can get pregnant. Both of those have probably contributed to the double standard.
    The only thing keeping the double standard alive nowadays is people who think like you. You stop, it stops. Simple.

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    The double standard is alive and kicking, trust me. Sad but true.

    It comes from men and women both, and both must share the blame for allowing their limited imagination dictate social norms.

    You can see it right here. Though when so many guys are obsessed with getting as much as they can from a 20$ lapdance, it is sometimes more apparent here in CC, lol.

    But I have seen women get all bent out of shape when a guy posts the same exact kind of thing women post constantly.


    Quote Originally Posted by msonyxorb View Post
    But its okay for you to be grinded on by strange girls right?
    She scores! LOL...
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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    But I have seen women get all bent out of shape when a guy posts the same exact kind of thing women post constantly.
    No offence djoser, but I think generally when guys say that it is because they are not particularly awake to the different nuances involved. I mean, some guys are used to communicating with women in certain ways (and definitely guys who frequent strip clubs as customers or employees tend to fall into this pattern) and are blind to the subtle differences between, for example, admiration and approval. Or at least I've personally noticed that as a trend here when guys make that complaint.
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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    The only thing keeping the double standard alive nowadays is people who think like you. You stop, it stops. Simple.
    There's nothing intrinsically wrong with a double standard. "Double standard" is just a way of saying that different people get treated differently....18 y/o get to vote, 17 don't; girls make it into Playboy, guys don't (and Playgirl was NEVER as popular); guys make it into the NBA, girls don't (and the WNBA is NEVER as popular); male strippers are far less common than female, simply because most consider the female form to be more pleasing than the male; there are no "Hooter guys"; by and large, males are still expected to be the "money men" all the way from dating thru sustaining a family; many studies show that good-looking people are treated better by society than the ugly; etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc a million times etc.

    Whenever I hear the term "double standards", I don't think anything negative. I just think, "life".

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    No offence djoser, but I think generally when guys say that it is because they are not particularly awake to the different nuances involved. I mean, some guys are used to communicating with women in certain ways (and definitely guys who frequent strip clubs as customers or employees tend to fall into this pattern) and are blind to the subtle differences between, for example, admiration and approval. Or at least I've personally noticed that as a trend here when guys make that complaint.
    None taken.

    However, I am quite aware of subtlety, nuances, and the difference between admiration and approval, whether given or received. The double standard exists, nonetheless--and women are as involved in its perpetuation as men.

    Women also become accustomed to communicating with guys in certain ways (especially in stripclubs), and are often blind to the difference between stereotypical customer/rude male staff behavior, and that of other men who are quite different.

    Which is unfortunate. It would be great if we could all transcend this sort of thing. But I fear we have a ways to go, in the present state of society. Blaming either sex is not the way to go. So let's not argue about it, what do you say, lol?

    Though I do agree, of course, that guys who judge strippers harshly while continuing to buy dances, and spend hours daily on stripper websites, are hypocrites.
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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    The double standard is alive and kicking, trust me. Sad but true.

    It comes from men and women both, and both must share the blame for allowing their limited imagination dictate social norms.
    Agreed, and yes, it comes from both sexes. That is the reality, like you wrote, sad but true.

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Knowing a woman is a stripper can be a massive turn on to me. I am heavily attracted to a woman who is a culmination of certain qualities based on personality. One of the potential results of this quality/personality mix I like is a strong sexual appetite, and one of the many things a woman can do to express her sexual appetite is stripping. It is for this reason I can be attracted to porn stars, escorts, swingers, sex store workers, bus drivers, et cetera.

    When RoseWhite strips it's like a different side to her that I only see on the pole and it stirs different reactions from attraction to her. This would be the case, EVEN as friends. I have no control over her no matter how I would try, which makes all her decisions interesting and often very attractive. I could hate her stripping, but it's not about me. It's about her.

    Tampadancer, though we've never dated or intend to, is attractive to me as stripper for similar reasons though not mutually exclusive to them.

    And for what it's worth, a man who truly loves and cares about you, is going to respect and appreciate you for who you are and what you do so long as you are doing what you want.

    It's not being a stripper. It's what being a stripper means to that individual. Strippers that strip JUST for the money, rarely attractive to me as a stripper. There's just too many nuances since, well, attraction isn't a choice, while being a stripper is.
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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by xdamage View Post
    Agreed, and yes, it comes from both sexes. That is the reality, like you wrote, sad but true.

    No. No. No!!! You don't understand. Men are bad. And wrong. Even if they're saying and doing the same thing as women. It's bad. Because they're men.

    Can it be any clearer!?
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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    "I'm a (spending) customer".
    Now that's a big turn on.

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Indifferent pretty much...
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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    Quote Originally Posted by gameover View Post
    it probably is a double standard, but it's one that's been around for a long time. If a guy has sex, it is "way to go, man! If a girl does, it is "what a slut!" Probably a carry over from historical times when a man's inheritance went to his children, and the man needed to ensure that the offspring were his. Plus, women can get pregnant. Both of those have probably contributed to the double standard.
    Like atomic said, this double standard no longer exists nor have i ever heard of it really existing. if a guy or girl has sex the guy or girl is considered sexually active
    if a guy has sex with lots of random girls he is considered dirty and desperate a pig. if his friends are losers they will cheer him on
    if a girl has sex with lots of random guys she is considered dirty and desperate and a slut. if her friends are losers they will cheer her on.
    the words may be different but they are still categorized accordingly.

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    Default Re: "I'm a stripper." Turn on or turn off?

    I would find it more intriguing than a turn on. I’ve hung out with enough women who had been strippers that a woman telling me that she was a stripper would be enough to cause me a measure of curiosity. There tends to be certain characteristic mannerisms and attitudes that tend to prevail among women who are strippers. I find it all rather interesting.

    Once there was this woman who I knew to be a stripper. When I met her I really liked her a lot but somewhere, there in the back of my thoughts, was that my interest in her was being exaggerated by her being a stripper. So I told her that I had this theory that a couple works best when both partners have compatible vices and views of those vices. When she asked me what my vices were I told her that I only had two, “weed and strippers.” She got all excited like, bouncing up and down, clapping her hands, going, “Oh lucky me.” I guess it all depends on the point of view of those involved.

    My gf used to be a stripper and it never bothered me. In fact I always felt kind of proud of her. I’ve never worried about her sharing her sexuality because I always trusted that she would keep her distance.

    Besides, in the course of an average day I often hug as many as six different women. Some of them will grind on me far more than my gf would ever grind on one of her customers. In the grand scheme of things, it’s no big deal.
    Last edited by potato; 05-11-2008 at 04:41 PM. Reason: Added last line

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