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Thread: My Regular and His Ex

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    Default My Regular and His Ex

    I've had my reg now for about two months, and we get along great. He likes talking about his kid and stuff like that since he doesn't have much family to talk to about the things he's proud of. He's asked about going out for dinner once or twice, but told me to bring a friend if I felt comfortable that way. He would pay for it. (I declined and made up some excuses.) He's pretty generous and I enjoy having him as my reg. He even emailed me and (nervously) asked me for tips on his date tonight (as he's divorced and this is his first big date. All thumbs, that guy. Lol) As you can probably tell I thoroughly enjoy my reg for who he is and his generosity.

    But there is a problem.

    His ex, who I shall call Mary, also works at my club. They dated some time ago, and it didn't work out. My reg is a bit of a pushover and feels obligated to be civil with her, which I'm all about. However, Mary is a known cut-throater. She has gotten upset with him before about him hanging with ME and buying CRs with ME. (though I personally wouldn't want to CR with an ex) I feel incredibly defensive when all three of us at in the club at once, especially because if looks could kill, I would be a splatter on the opposite wall. The money that would normally go to me, partially goes to her because she hustles him. Management sees no problem here because the money is still being funneled towards the same bank account.

    I do not want to leave myself wide open for her to cut throat me. I'm not seeing an option and I don't want to be a complete bitch. I'd rather not become the aggressor in this. Help!!

  2. #2
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    How exactly is she cut throating you? Could you be a little more specific on what she does to hustle him?

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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    She will pull him from the stage, engage him in a round of pool, then pump more quarters in the machine before he can wander away, tell him not to buy me doubles (a large drink) but instead singles (a small drink), and immediately sits with him the moment I stand to use the ladies room or go on stage, even if I leave a drink with him. I'm beginning to think that it's not so much she wants the money he spends on me to be spent on her, but she doesn't want him spending on me at all.

    She did it tonight. I won out in the end, keeping a presence at the pool table, at the bar, on stage (by talking with him and stuff) and when she asked if I needed anything since I was standing there, I told her I had been sitting with him before I went on stage and was politely waiting for their game to finish so I could resume talking to him. My reg was upset. He wanted to do a CR but she just kept pumping quarters into the damn pool table. He eventually gave me the money he was going to use for the CR and drinks in full as a tip, when she wasn't looking, and thanked me later for being so awesome about the entire affairs.

    But I still want to avoid this in the future. I went to management and they don't care. Mary has worked there for so very long that they won't fire her over a 'new' girl's word.

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    Veteran Member oregonchick's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    It sounds like he used to be her customer and they started dating. She wants to still have his money but hes had her so now the challenge for him is over which is why he is still spending money on you. Probly he will still spend money on you for awhile until he gives up on trying to date you and will move on to another dancer. He has a shelf life probably of one more month so make sure you get all that you can out of him before he gives up on you. The "ex, " she just has not had any money prospects lately. Shes mad cause she put out and expected $$$ but in reality she got squat. The management may know whats going on but who knows. Sometime vip customers keep coming back to a certain club because they do have success in dating the dancers.

  5. #5
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    Here's what I would do:
    Don't give him a chance to be swept over to the pool table. When you see him come in and you're "catching up", don't sit and hustle him forever. He already knows he wants dances from you, so after you guys get your drinks (or even right away), say "What do you say we skip right to the fun part tonight? That way we won't have any unpleasant interruptions like last time! Plus I am in such a good mood tonight (feeling frisky, drunk, playful, etc)!". Act like you're skipping the foreplay and going right to the sex. You can have a waitress serve your drinks in the CR.

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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    Here's what I would do:
    Don't give him a chance to be swept over to the pool table. When you see him come in and you're "catching up", don't sit and hustle him forever. He already knows he wants dances from you, so after you guys get your drinks (or even right away), say "What do you say we skip right to the fun part tonight? That way we won't have any unpleasant interruptions like last time! Plus I am in such a good mood tonight (feeling frisky, drunk, playful, etc)!". Act like you're skipping the foreplay and going right to the sex. You can have a waitress serve your drinks in the CR.
    Tried it. He feels obligated to hang with her for a little while, to be civil. You can see he prefers to spend his money on me because when he saw her the first time, he turned to me, handed me $100 and told me to pre-purchase my drinks. He doesn't care much for lapdances so he doesn't buy those, and a CR at the end of the night is his 'treat.' He usually only comes in on Sundays when Mary doesn't work but our schedules have been hectic so he's been coming in on the weekday to see me. This probably won't be a scenario again for a while, but it's bothered me for some time.

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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    Anyone?

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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    Is there another club near by you could go too when he's coming to see you?

    That way you could avoid the situation all together? Maybe get some more money for compensation out of him for the hassle of having to go to another club, or at least get the money she normally gets out of him? Possibly go to the old club once yalls time is up if necessary?

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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    Okay so maybe I'm more aggressive than most when it comes to bitches FUCKING WITH MY MONEY. Sorry but I wouldn't put up that shit from her. I'd have to set her ass straight, and did his nuts totally shrivel up and fall off or something? It's not like he gave her a damn kidney or anything. Give me a fucking break.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    Hey, if you want his money and him all to yourself you're gonna have to make some time to see him on Sundays.







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    I think this guy likes the attention. If she REALLY pissed him off/ bugged him, he wouldn't have such an IMPOSSIBLE time not playing pool with her. All he would have to do is hand her a dollar if she feeds more quarters into the table(a game of pool is what, four quarters?) and say that he was going to do his own thing for awhile but thank you anyways. Besides, how many damn games of pool can you play without wanting to poke yourself in the eye with the stick?? I also have the "attention" theory because he continues to come back to a strip club when his ex is working there (as cool as you are, I don't mean that against you. I just mean that if my psycho ex wouldn't leave me alone, there would be other hangouts that I would probably go to). Hanging around her to be "civil" does not mean spending the whole night with her while you waste your time waiting just to hand you some money at the end. That is bullshit. Exactly how serious were they and who told you about them? The next time he pulls this, you might want to ask WHEN you should come back and then go spend your time making some money. If he's left in the corner holding a stupid pool stick with his ex instead of having you at his elbow, he might grow a pair of balls (or least ONE, sheesh!).

    It might just be one of those things you'll have to deal with to get his money. Alexxa gave some great tips. Also, email/ call/ however you get ahold of him beforehand and "reserve" him.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    My reg is a pushover. And I don't think he enjoys her presence. He looks like he's rather be eating nails the entire time, but he feels they are obligated. He makes a move to leave and she guilts him into staying longer. I would fucking tear into her myself...but she has been there for so long that management would fire me before even casting a wary eye at her. That's what makes this so tricky. And we have no other clubs in the area. I need to free up all my sundays from now on, but I know this will happen again one day eventually.

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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    Well... you can cheer yourself up that by trying to fuck with YOUR money, she's really just screwing herself over...
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  14. #14
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    How much money does he give you? Depending on what it is, you might be able to make more or the same in that same time you are waiting for him to grow a pair and get to doing the CR already. Maybe you can explain to him (nicely and tactfully) that your time is valuable to you and as much as you like to spend time with him, it makes you feel as though you are in competition with his ex. Maybe even tell him it makes you a little jealous and you can't deal with it. Any dude who desperately needs the attention will eat that right up. If he's a gentleman, he will suggest something else so you're not feeling uncomfortable. If not, tell him what you want. If your needs are not met in the situation and it's becoming unbearable, you'll have to make money elsewhere without having your time wasted.

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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    The moment he realizes that all three of us are in the club at once (Mary is allowed to come and go as she pleases, unlike the rest of us. She will walk off the street and dance even if she wasn't scheduled.) he starts forking over cash. He asks me to pre-buy my drinks ahead of time, will tip me $20 or $50 at a time, and it seems like he is trying to get the money out of there before it 'falls prey' to Mary. He makes the waiting worth it...it's just so frustrating to see her smirking at me when she thinks she's fucking me over.

    A bit of an update. He came in last night and all three of us sat 'together.' He bought her two drinks and would keep sliding me money. Like put an arm around my waist with $100 in his hand where she couldn't see it, but I felt it. He would excuse himself to talk to the bartender, and buy me a line of drink all at once. He didn't do a CR but ended up leaving me with a fair chunk of cash. Tonight...she came in, and bombed. She sold two drinks and made squat on stage. I laughed. Schadenfraude.

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    Honestly it sucks that you're on the recieving end of this but why is he going to his ex girlfriends club?

    As over it as I am with any of my ex boyfriends, I would still be hurt and upset if they came in where I worked to get dances. Call me juveniele, but that's really hard to deal with.

    I doubt she's so much hustling him for money ( I mean, don't get me wrong not like she doesn't WANT money) but I bet more it's an attention thing.

    I really have no advice, just my 2 cents....

    Oh and ETA, most guys would not be comfortable doing this sort of thing either..... I wonder what he's getting out of it? I doubt he just loves that club so much he can't go anywhere else... I wonder if on some level hes going there to see her?
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Veteran Member Gabrielle MB's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    I wonder how 'she' sees it?

    (no offense)

  18. #18
    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    Well if you're getting paid what you feel is appropriate to the situation and you can't eliminate her from the equation without authority (management) or force (violence -which would not be a good idea on your part) and if HE won't make the decision, your other option is to ask her to leave or just deal with it. I doubt she will leave, but you can take pleasure in knowing how badly she's fucking herself over. Heh. She must want to keep up appearances to the club that he's HER reg still. Wow - it's almost like she has brain damage! If it were me I would drop all kinds of subtle insults. If you're bold you can get your dude to join in. If he really doesn't like her, he would have no problem finding ways to make her leave.

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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    Vegas: This is the only club for about an hour's drive. (With the exception of prostitution fronts, if you will.)

    Alexxa: I do believe your right. Thanks for all the advice!

  20. #20
    AlexxaHex
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    Hehe - you're welcome. I just hate to think there's no way for you to get out of this, so I kept wracking my brain about what to do. lol

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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    Wow two girls fighting over his attention at a strip club, must be rough....are you sure you're playing HIM??

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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    ^^^

    That's kind of what I was getting at....
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    When he specifically comes on a certain day when she doesn't come in I would think he's looking to avoid her. He came in to see me on a weekday since we had not seen each other in over two weeks. This is not a regular thing.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Regular and His Ex

    Quote Originally Posted by AlexxaHex View Post
    Well if you're getting paid what you feel is appropriate to the situation...
    Ditto. Even if he is doing some sort of attention game, if he's making it worth your headache... $100 tips don't suck.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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