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Thread: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Angry update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    don't know if you guys remember this or not but here's an update...

    my husband talked to his dad last night. after an interview with the 2 oldest boys (this i think was the police interview..i'm pretty sure that social services team has done their interviewing), the police called and interview uncle "j". he confessed


    i can't believe this is happening. we all know i hate my crazy sis in law, but i feel awful for her. she is the last person any of this should have happened too. she was sexually abused as a child and as a result, she's a nutjob. so now she feels guilty for "letting" it happen. which of course is ridiculous..she didn't "let" anything happen. no one could've known. i feel like even though she's tried to fuck me over a few times and i haven't spoken to her in years, i should email her to let her know how sorry i am all of this happened to her family.

    i guess he did it to 3 of the boys. he said he didn't do it to the youngest cause he was never alone with him

    oh, and get this..after the interview with the oldest boys, they said they remembered a few years ago him giving them little pills at night telling them they were vitamins...this is so fucked up on so many levels

    the police think that this isn't an isolated case. so they are going to be talking with as many of his former employers and employees (he owns, or i should say now, owned his own contracting biz) to see if he has contact with children...i'm sure they'll be interviewing us and probably taking my kids through this too (i've talked with my kids and i don't think anything has ever happened...i hope anyway)

    i guess he's going to the extradited to alaska soon and arrested. i have a feeling he's going to jail for a long time..as he should!

    but fuck, this is so messed up to have this happen to your family. i'm sure my mother in law is so upset right now. to know that your brother molested your grandchildren, wow





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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    fucking kill this bastard. end of story.

    i'm sorry but why waste society's resources even locking him up. those resources are better spent on therapy for those kids (and maybe more victims!).

    "he said he didn't do it to the youngest cause he was never alone with him" - wtf? fucking kill him slowly.

    i mean is there any fucking need to drag this out?

    i'm only thankful that he confessed and made it easier rather than a long drawn out legal process.

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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Most cases of molestation are done by family members, so sadly this doesn't surprise me. I hope he gets more than the molester I knew got when I was young. I don't think he even had any jail time...it was some serious bullshit.

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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Quote Originally Posted by snoopy View Post

    i'm only thankful that he confessed and made it easier rather than a long drawn out legal process.

    yeah, i think he pretty much confessed to make it all easier. this has to be killing his wife. she is such a good person...but of course i thought he was too.

    this is all so weird and surreal

    i get the heeby jeebies just thinking of him at my oldests bday party last january and him hugging us.

    but what is majorly fucked up is that he KNEW that my crazy sil was molested...she confided in him many times, in fact, he was about the only person she trusted on my husbands side of the family! and she got very close to him. which is just NUTS because his family is so granola and sweet it hurts your teeth.

    even though i don't like her, he took advantage of her trust and that pisses me off.





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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    i hope your SIL gets some help/therapy. you're right, this has to be overwhelmingly devastating for her!

    i mean, she's experienced real monsters and nightmares in her life. then all of a sudden...she finds out she's married to one! holy shit, that has to be a complete mindfuck!

    i'd be worried about her for her own sake.


    yech, "hugging him", you probably feel like you've got to disinfect your entire body for that.

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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    I remember when you weren't sure about coming out with this.

    Think about how many children you saved.


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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Thats good he confessed. Thats pretty devastating to a family though to have a molester as a family member. I hope your family can help each other during this tough time. Those poor boys. While he will sit in jail those boys will have to deal with years of grief and shame from whats happened to them. No child should have to be put through with whats happened to them.
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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Quote Originally Posted by snoopy View Post

    then all of a sudden...she finds out she's married to one! holy shit, that has to be a complete mindfuck!

    nononono...she's not married to him, this is her husbands (my husbands too) uncle...so the kids' great uncle.




    oh, and i totally forgot, his wife is a teacher. i imagine they'll be digging there too to see if he had any contact with her students...i doubt it, but still, i'm worried this will put a "mark" on his wife as a teacher this is just so sad





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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Quote Originally Posted by sassysummer View Post
    nononono...she's not married to him, this is her husbands (my husbands too) uncle...so the kids' great uncle.
    oops, sorry about that. i was just a little worked up there.

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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    That's awful. I'm sorry.
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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    This is heart wrenching
    I will never ever understand how someone can destroy a child's innocence like that
    It really is so sick and sad and disgusting
    I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this sassy
    best wishes to your family during this fucked up time!



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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    I'm so sorry.

    I hope he experineces the consequences of his actions. I hope no more children are hurt!

    I am concerned for the three boys. I hope your SIL gets family therapy for everyone affected by this. While much of the time people who are abused as children grow up respectful of others, sometimes it can go the other way and they could wind up continuing the cycle. God forbid this doesn't happen.

    I'll keep you guys in my prayers. And thank God he got caught.
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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Oh, Summer, I'm so sorry about this. Those poor kids. Ugh. Even with all the horrible things that have happened, I am sure that you and your husband will be a great source of comfort to them with your willingness to speak out on their behalf. I hope that your SIL is able to pull it together somehow for their sake.

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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    ugh...another update.


    it looks like he won't be charged. apparently, even with his admition to doing it, there isn't the physical evidence to make it "worth" extraditing him and putting him on trial. (aka, the states don't want to spend the money).

    so we are guessing that if he's not charged, there will be a lawsuit, and rightfully so.

    i feel bad for the boys. you always tell your kids to tell you if stuff like this happens, and when they do, there's a chance the perpetrator won't get slammed for it

    i don't get it though, all those catholic priest trials some 10-30 yrs after the fact and no physical evidence and they still had to go on trial...this just doesn't make sense





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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Whoowhee. They are going to fuck his ass up in jail. I hope he stays there for a very long time. I know they always say the abuse is a cycle or a mental condition but still, I just can't tolerate child abusers.

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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Quote Originally Posted by sassysummer View Post
    ugh...another update.


    it looks like he won't be charged. apparently, even with his admition to doing it, there isn't the physical evidence to make it "worth" extraditing him and putting him on trial. (aka, the states don't want to spend the money).

    so we are guessing that if he's not charged, there will be a lawsuit, and rightfully so.

    i feel bad for the boys. you always tell your kids to tell you if stuff like this happens, and when they do, there's a chance the perpetrator won't get slammed for it

    i don't get it though, all those catholic priest trials some 10-30 yrs after the fact and no physical evidence and they still had to go on trial...this just doesn't make sense
    Wow-they need to raise holy hell. My uncle was extradited from CA to NJ for that sort of thing. If he admitted it, there doesn't even need to be a full on trial, does there? They just charged my uncle and put him away.

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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Yes they need to raise all sorts of hell about this.

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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    i'm sure they are raising hell as much as they can..but they can only do so much, it's pretty much up to the "system"

    sigh

    i sure don't ever want to see him again. he will not be allowed at our christmases and if he's at great grandmas for christmas/thanksgiving, you bet your ass we won't be going there.

    this just sucks all around. i really liked him. why can't they just have a warning light or something on their forehead so we know...





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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Oh yeah. Same thing happened to me. I was molested and reported it. They called me a liar. When I finally had edvidence (I tape recorded, at 15, a 50 year old man telling me he'd 'make me have the best orgasm').... and he ADMITTED it, they said that there wasn't enough evidence.

    I stopped seeing the point in reporting rapists/molestors when I saw how low the actual rate was.


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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Quote Originally Posted by sassysummer View Post
    ugh...another update.


    it looks like he won't be charged. apparently, even with his admition to doing it, there isn't the physical evidence to make it "worth" extraditing him and putting him on trial. (aka, the states don't want to spend the money).

    so we are guessing that if he's not charged, there will be a lawsuit, and rightfully so.

    i feel bad for the boys. you always tell your kids to tell you if stuff like this happens, and when they do, there's a chance the perpetrator won't get slammed for it

    i don't get it though, all those catholic priest trials some 10-30 yrs after the fact and no physical evidence and they still had to go on trial...this just doesn't make sense
    Ummm, wtf? That is so messed up. There is something wrong with the system if that can happen...

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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Quote Originally Posted by sassysummer View Post
    i'm sure they are raising hell as much as they can..but they can only do so much, it's pretty much up to the "system"

    sigh

    i sure don't ever want to see him again. he will not be allowed at our christmases and if he's at great grandmas for christmas/thanksgiving, you bet your ass we won't be going there.

    this just sucks all around. i really liked him. why can't they just have a warning light or something on their forehead so we know...
    *hug* I'm so sorry, hon. The whole thing just sucks. Not seeing him is at least something you can do. If our legal system doesn't properly punish them, complete ostracism is a start.

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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    Oh yeah. Same thing happened to me. I was molested and reported it. They called me a liar. When I finally had edvidence (I tape recorded, at 15, a 50 year old man telling me he'd 'make me have the best orgasm').... and he ADMITTED it, they said that there wasn't enough evidence.

    I stopped seeing the point in reporting rapists/molestors when I saw how low the actual rate was.
    Just. Ugh. I know people don't want to see the disgusting shit that goes on around them, because it IS disturbing, but how can cops, etc walk around with their heads in the sand like that? It's enough to make a woman want to turn vigilante.

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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    Cant wait for him to get his ass pounded in jail. Sick fuck.

    Your poor sil must be awful but it isnt her fault.

    I would kill him with my bare hands.

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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    I'm so sorry to hear about this Summer. I hope those children get into therapy right away. The whole family needs to be in therapy right now. I'm keeping everyone in my prayers.
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    Default Re: update on the uncle molestation stuff...

    another update.....

    just found out tonight that some time in the last 24 hours or so, he was extradited and put in jail!!

    we're waiting for the hearing, but i guess they are expecting him to post bail and await trial.

    but there's some sad news, turns out, the abuse has probably happened for years, we're talking decades

    my bro-in law told my husband that he kinda thought that he may have been molested by him too as a kid, like a faint memory, turns out, he did, uncle j confessed to molesting my husbands brother. of course, now that makes me wonder did he touch my husband?? i talked with my husband about it when this all started and said no he doesn't think so, and again tonight, he seemed pretty sure that he wasn't molested. from i got from second hand convo is that he has done this not only to my nephews, but my husbands brother, and probably many others, but so far it looks like he didn't touch his own boys.

    so we're looking at a minimum of 4 boys molested...and probably many more.

    this is just nuts.

    now i need to have a much deeper talk with my boys. i need to let them know that uncle j has done a very bad thing. before when i talked to them about people "touching" them and how it's not ok and such, i didn't say anything about uncle j, it was more of a general safety talk. but now they are gonna wonder where he his and of course they will eventually talk with their cousins.

    this is gonna be the hardest thing i've ever done. having to tell your kids that their great uncle, the "fun" one, has done some very bad things and is in jail.

    ugh





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