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Thread: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

  1. #1
    Glamazon
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    Default I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    In 2000, when I was driving from Boise to Bend, OR with some friends for work, I hit a deer and totaled my car. I saw the deer (a few of them standing together) on the side of the road and slowed down, but one of the fuckers jumped at the last minute. It was completely unavoidable.

    Nowadays, when I see one of those yellow signs with a deer on it warning of deer crossing, etc, I get sweaty palms and my heart starts racing. Lucky me, I live in the hills, near a lake (water for the fuckers) and on a windy fucking road, so every night when I'm driving home, I have a low grade panic attack. Super.

    Oh, and whoever said that deer are most likely to be out at dusk and dawn has never driven the road to my house at 3am. I swear those assholes wait for me...I see them standing on the side of the road.

  2. #2
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    Could be worse. Could be moose.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  3. #3
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    Ah man! I was driving home and a baby bear was in the middle of the road - i lived a bit rural but not rural enough to where bears arent in back yards! I was scared shitless the mom was around and going to maul me when i got out of my car (it was right by my house)

    I know lots of people that have hit deer. My husband had one run into the side of his car! My other friend hit one at like 1 in the morning and totaled his girlfriends car... my friend Erica hit one. Theyre all over where I used to live.

  4. #4
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Could be worse. Could be moose.


    I'm never moving to Canada!!

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    God/dess sassysummer's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    or a cow




    ok, i was just looking for an excuse to use that smilie...lol





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    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by Glamazon View Post
    Oh, and whoever said that deer are most likely to be out at dusk and dawn has never driven the road to my house at 3am. I swear those assholes wait for me...I see them standing on the side of the road.

    Who the hell said that?? They need to come to Pennsylvania, LOL. I swear the deer here ONLY come out at night. Almost everyone I know has hit a deer (not me knock on wood) at some point in their lives. And every single time has been at some ungodly hour, too.

  7. #7
    God/dess kitty260's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    I agree. Deer are assholes. I grew up in Northern Ontario and I've seen tons of deer/moose vs. car events.

    Moose weren't as bad. For the most part, they were smart enough to stay in the ditch when they saw a car coming. Not deer. They'd go boing boing boing all over the road and zigzag all over the place and be idiots as soon as they saw a vehicle speeding towards them.
    \

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    Oh that sucks. I know though... I have them by my house too. I came INCHES ffrom hitting one 2 weeks ago, and then a few days ago had to come to a COMPLETE stop because 3 of them were in the road.

    Scared the shit out of me.

  9. #9
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by kitty260 View Post
    Moose weren't as bad. For the most part, they were smart enough to stay in the ditch when they saw a car coming. Not deer. They'd go boing boing boing all over the road and zigzag all over the place and be idiots as soon as they saw a vehicle speeding towards them.
    Okay, this just made me seriously LOL. I don't know what your voice sounds like, but I heard you saying this in my head. It was funny!!

  10. #10
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    Oh, and turkeys. We have wild fucking turkeys. They'll stand in the road in a fucking flock and when you honk the horn, they'll gobble at you and run off the road.

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    Veteran Member TheLioness's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    I'm paranoid about hitting one but I have been very lucky especially considering the county we live in is overrun with them. My son goes to school with a kid that was in the back seat of his mom's car when a deer ran into the side of their car and it's horn went THROUGH the door and stabbed him in the leg. I don't know why it is when they see headlights they have to run lol.

  12. #12
    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    ^Awwwwww. Now thats just cute.

    ETA: not the post above me Glamazons post!

  13. #13
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    There are moose in Colorado and Wyoming, too.

    And elk. Bigger than deer.

    Cattle aren't much fun.

    There's pronghorn and bighorn, but they're shy and don't usually mix it up.

    And buffalo. Never saw a buffalo outside of a state park or private ranch, thank goodness. Imagine something the size of about four deer, hugely muscled, thick-skulled, with an attitude of a homicidal maniac.

    It's the country, y'know? We pave it over, we fence it off, but those big darn animals still keep wandering around.

  14. #14
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    Oh boy, when I lived up in NorCal, I had that same feeling Glam. I was soooooo soooo paranoid. I too had the lake and long twisty roads....

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    Featured Member southstbabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    We have a seriously bad problem with deer here in NJ. They are all over the place. In your front yard, back yard, the school yard, even the church parking lot in the middle of town. And don't get me started on the road kills, they're everywhere.

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    My boyfriend's mother will run screaming out into her yard when there are deer in it. I think she poisons them and doesn't tell anyone.

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    Veteran Member Laylas's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    Ugh...I hardly know anyone from OH/PA/WV who doesn't have a "deer fucked up my car" story. Mine happened when I was 19 coming off of an exit ramp, going about 15-20 mph. The damn thing still managed to total my car (granted, it WAS a '97 Geo Metro, so a chipmunk with a bad attitude could have caused some serious damage, but still...). It flailed about on the windshield for about 20 seconds, cracking the glass - with me screaming like a banshee inside, afraid of getting impaled by the antlers (it was at least a 10-point buck). Of course, the animal bounded away unharmed...

  18. #18
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    Wait a minute, I have one in my avatar (off to change)

  19. #19
    God/dess kitty260's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by Glamazon View Post
    Okay, this just made me seriously LOL. I don't know what your voice sounds like, but I heard you saying this in my head. It was funny!!
    Never mind my voice, I have hand gestures too when I bitch about deer. I'm like a Broadway show when I get on a deer rant.
    \

  20. #20
    Featured Member southstbabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Jade View Post
    My mom came to a dead stop in the middle of the road because there were deer about 20 feet ahead. She was just sitting there patiently when one of the deer CHARGED her car! Full speed ahead, ears back, sprinting... jumped up on the hood of the car, thrashing away at the windshield. It finally hopped off, but as a nice parting gift, tore of the passenger side mirror of the car. Nice. Bastard.
    Evil deer.

    And yet there are people who still bitch and moan about hunting. When you have a population this out of control what the hell else are you suppose to do?

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    I love in Harold and Kumar 2 when they're petting the baby deer and they're like "It's so cute. Alabama rules. New Jersey deer are assholes".

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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    I too have hit a deer.

    In a tiny ass car, on the highway, going 60 mph.
    It ran out in the road, I never even saw it. I can barely remember a brown smear, maybe.

    Totalled.

    THIS is why we have hunting season people!

  23. #23
    Jay Zeno
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    And if we stopped killing predators, they'd help to even out the deer population. But then folks would start complaining about their relatives and livestock getting eaten. People will just find something to bitch about, y'know?

  24. #24
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    You all hate BAMBI?! :runs away crying:

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    Default Re: I Fucking Hate Deer (Not A Parody Thread)

    My county plants clover on the side of the road. No wonder that you can see herds and herds of them after dark.
    I nearly hit one once. It stepped out in front of the car and I was going well over 60mph. I had just enough time to swerve a bit left, but I remember, while I was shaking and crying, that I wish I could've at least knocked it silly with my side mirror.

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