Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 28

Thread: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

  1. #1
    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    USA, in a notoriously stripper-unfriendly city
    Posts
    1,780
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Until a few weeks ago, I was seeing and fucking this guy with a huge penis. This guy required Trojan Magnums. Unfortunately, he turned out to be a whiny jealous sycophant who accused me of sleeping around and lying to him when in actuality I was studying my ass off for finals. Needless to say, I kicked his ass to the curb. I miss that big weenie that pounded me into ecstasy.

    Like Rhiannon, I'm a free sample freak, and I ordered a free Trojan Magnum condom that came in the mail today. I got it because we used them, but now I am no longer graced by his length and girth. Dammit, it's torture because it reminds me of the big dick that I'm not getting! I'm getting laid now, but I'm not getting a battering ram of a Magnum man!
    Quote Originally Posted by twisterinAZ View Post
    The big dick is dangerous. It makes you overlook certain character flaws and bad behavior .

  2. #2
    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    USA, in a notoriously stripper-unfriendly city
    Posts
    1,780
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Quote Originally Posted by Samba View Post


    Save it for the next one! (check the expiration date, though)
    Expiration date is 2011. WHAAAAA, are you suggesting that it's going to be as much as a struggle to find another big weenie!? It took me 23 years to find my first big penis, and the second about 6 months later. I hope that I find another sometime!
    Quote Originally Posted by twisterinAZ View Post
    The big dick is dangerous. It makes you overlook certain character flaws and bad behavior .

  3. #3
    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Posts
    6,699
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 22 Times in 20 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    lol. You might just have to use it on a lesser weenie.

    I dated a guy for a bit who seriously had the smallest penis I'd ever been with...no big deal except he insisted on using Trojan Magnums! Try keeping a straight face in that situation

    Feature costumes for sale!

  4. #4
    High_Heel_Lover
    Guest

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    aww I'm sorry. Can you buy a huge dildo and put it on it?

  5. #5
    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    USA, in a notoriously stripper-unfriendly city
    Posts
    1,780
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Quote Originally Posted by High_Heel_Lover View Post
    aww I'm sorry. Can you buy a huge dildo and put it on it?
    Hey, good suggestion. All I need is the dick. I don't need that worthless flap of skin behind the dick called a man! Thanks!
    Quote Originally Posted by twisterinAZ View Post
    The big dick is dangerous. It makes you overlook certain character flaws and bad behavior .

  6. #6
    High_Heel_Lover
    Guest

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    ^^^ lol glad to be of service

  7. #7
    Moderator Optimist's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2004
    Location
    House of Aion
    Posts
    8,074
    Thanks
    7,881
    Thanked 5,705 Times in 2,127 Posts
    My Mood
    In Love

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    I don't need that worthless flap of skin behind the dick called a man! Thanks!
    LAWD!! That was priceless! Thanks again girl!
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

  8. #8
    God/dess anomar's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    2,373
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    lol. You might just have to use it on a lesser weenie.

    I dated a guy for a bit who seriously had the smallest penis I'd ever been with...no big deal except he insisted on using Trojan Magnums! Try keeping a straight face in that situation
    Haah! I'm at the office and seriously had to stifle a laugh.

    It is pretty hot when you're about to hook up with a guy for the first time & you see that big black box in his room. Big dick alert!

    My bf right now (actually my all time sweetheart, I love him so) is average-to-nicely sized... and the best part is he has no hangups about using every kind of dildo in me. Awesome.

  9. #9
    Callyish
    Guest

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    lol. You might just have to use it on a lesser weenie.

    I dated a guy for a bit who seriously had the smallest penis I'd ever been with...no big deal except he insisted on using Trojan Magnums! Try keeping a straight face in that situation
    Is this the guy I think it is? You know... the one whos name I laugh at every time I hear? LoL

  10. #10
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Hey, good suggestion. All I need is the dick. I don't need that worthless flap of skin behind the dick called a man! Thanks!
    I know how to fix your problem. Walk around outside holding the magnum up and call out "whoever fits this first fucks me!". We are women...dick is always available and if you're good big dick is always available.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  11. #11
    Newbie
    Joined
    May 2008
    Posts
    11
    Thanks
    26
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    lol. You might just have to use it on a lesser weenie.

    I dated a guy for a bit who seriously had the smallest penis I'd ever been with...no big deal except he insisted on using Trojan Magnums! Try keeping a straight face in that situation
    pun intended, i'm sure

  12. #12
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    4,704
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Save it! My last boyfriend needed magnums and when we broke up I gave them to him with a box of his crap that I had in my apt. Then my current boyfriend needed them too (before I got on bc) so I had to buy more! You never know!!

  13. #13
    Veteran Member alessandra's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2007
    Location
    on the 13th floor
    Posts
    459
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    You can mail it to me we go through those black boxes way too fast LOL

    In all seriousness, just save it like prettycurlyq mentioned right above. I'm sure you'll find someone/something to, uhm, fill it's shoes. (hah)

  14. #14
    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
    Joined
    May 2005
    Location
    SW Counter Troll HQ
    Posts
    5,582
    Thanks
    1,589
    Thanked 1,674 Times in 1,043 Posts
    Blog Entries
    13
    My Mood
    Amused

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Well treat like a glass slipper. Go out and find the Prince that magnum fits.

  15. #15
    Featured Member Hatshepsut's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    USA, in a notoriously stripper-unfriendly city
    Posts
    1,780
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post
    Well treat like a glass slipper. Go out and find the Prince that magnum fits.
    ROFLMAO!!!!!!!! You just make my day!
    Quote Originally Posted by twisterinAZ View Post
    The big dick is dangerous. It makes you overlook certain character flaws and bad behavior .

  16. #16
    Veteran Member AmberHoney's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Wonderland
    Posts
    593
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 34 Times in 21 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Until a few weeks ago, I was seeing and fucking this guy with a huge penis. This guy required Trojan Magnums. Unfortunately, he turned out to be a whiny jealous sycophant who accused me of sleeping around and lying to him when in actuality I was studying my ass off for finals. Needless to say, I kicked his ass to the curb. I miss that big weenie that pounded me into ecstasy.

    Like Rhiannon, I'm a free sample freak, and I ordered a free Trojan Magnum condom that came in the mail today. I got it because we used them, but now I am no longer graced by his length and girth. Dammit, it's torture because it reminds me of the big dick that I'm not getting! I'm getting laid now, but I'm not getting a battering ram of a Magnum man!
    I dunno what it is...but Magnums in the gold pack make my pussy have a nasty disposition. Regular Trojan's and Magnum XL's are fine though...even though I can't really even handle a guy with a dick that needs one. Tried that a few times...and my hand was on his lower stomach the whole time...slowing his ass down...cuz he was apparently trying to rearrange my internal organs...with his dick.

    You can probably use a Magnum on a slightly-larger-than-average guy....as long as the SLTA part is the girth.

  17. #17
    Member
    Joined
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Posts
    63
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    lol. You might just have to use it on a lesser weenie.

    I dated a guy for a bit who seriously had the smallest penis I'd ever been with...no big deal except he insisted on using Trojan Magnums! Try keeping a straight face in that situation
    I never was totally clear on magnums- they don't seem necessary. Some of the most gi-normous men I've ever seen were fine using any ol' condom, and then these guys that weren't the biggest guys ever insist on using magnums.

  18. #18
    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    2,053
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    My husband only fits in magnums, not that we use them haha
    we should though
    i guess i'm just bragging, but i'm more then willing to share.
    So bring your magnum over and we'll put it to good use!



    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

  19. #19
    God/dess Miss Jessica's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Funktown, East Oakland, Califas.
    Posts
    2,142
    Thanks
    162
    Thanked 27 Times in 19 Posts
    My Mood
    Amazed

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Expiration date is 2011. WHAAAAA, are you suggesting that it's going to be as much as a struggle to find another big weenie!? It took me 23 years to find my first big penis, and the second about 6 months later. I hope that I find another sometime!
    OMG I know how you feel. I've only had one so far (the last guy I screwed, which was months ago) and I can't go back to the "normies".
    "We all must suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. In order to achieve what others don't, you have to do what others won't."


  20. #20
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Syracuse
    Posts
    5,921
    Thanks
    369
    Thanked 419 Times in 290 Posts
    My Mood
    Fine

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Get a Sybian and quit teasing men.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  21. #21
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Another Country
    Posts
    18,664
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 148 Times in 100 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Come to Australia and troll for big dick with me.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  22. #22
    Veteran Member Morgan_TX's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Amarillo, TX
    Posts
    446
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 11 Times in 8 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post
    Well treat like a glass slipper. Go out and find the Prince that magnum fits.
    Siggy time!

    Contact me for a psychic reading or spiritual advice!
    I can contact all my exes at once by drawing a pentacle on the floor, sacrificing a ram, and shouting "Hail Satan". Convenience is a must.


    Quote Originally Posted by MissAlethea View Post
    I don't want to touch your pee-pee. And that's what you want. I guarantee you didn't approach because of my sparkling character.
    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post
    Well treat like a glass slipper. Go out and find the Prince that magnum fits.

  23. #23
    Featured Member AmazingKat's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    855
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    I wonder how long before vanity sizing creeps into Magnums as well.

    The first couple of boys I slept with all needed them so when I found a boy that didn't it was a ruuuuude awakening.

  24. #24
    Featured Member lizlizliz's Avatar
    Joined
    Jan 2006
    Location
    ATX
    Posts
    1,177
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Would you like to borrow my boyfriend?
    Quote Originally Posted by alessandra View Post
    I like them large and cut. Sort of like strawberries.

  25. #25
    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    3,776
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: I'm not going to be able to use this Trojan Magnum!

    Quote Originally Posted by Samba View Post
    No that's not what I meant at all. You're in trouble, though, if you get this dick dazzled over the magnum guys. God just gives out big dicks indiscriminately.



    ROFL

    gotta remind myself to siggy
    quote this!

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. vundo trojan
    By greenidlady1 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 06-03-2008, 09:26 AM
  2. trojan horse, help me?!
    By greenidlady1 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 42
    Last Post: 05-31-2008, 12:46 PM
  3. What is a trojan horse exactly?
    By greenidlady1 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 01-25-2008, 12:01 PM
  4. Trojan virus
    By Miss Courtney in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 02-13-2005, 01:18 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •