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Thread: When a regular is falling for you...

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    Featured Member BrodieLux's Avatar
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    Default When a regular is falling for you...

    How do you handle it? Do you play along a bit and encourage it to keep them coming back, or do you not reciprocate? Maybe this seems like a dumb question, and if so, sorry. I have only been dancing for a few months and this is the first time that I have a real regular -- a guy who is crazy about me and wants to bring me presents and stuff. I'm confused about how to handle it. He'll say things like, "If you were my wife, I would be so proud to walk down the street with you," and go on about how good I make him feel. It creeps me out, honestly. I play along and say I enjoy his company too and look forward to our dances together (which is true, but I'm not emotionally into him at all, obviously). I'm kind of just confused about where the lines are.
    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousSeeker View Post
    ^Pssssttttt, your stripper is showing.

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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    Sigh, I wish I knew. I have a problem with this, also...all of my regulars fall for me! I don't know how to keep them interested without leading them on.

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    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    Just enjoy it while it's there. Eventually he'll realize you're never going OTC with him, or he'll simply get bored, and move on to someone else. I've had a few regulars burn out on me recently..one had told me how much he loved me, bought me some great gifts, visited regularly, we had great dances together...then POOF, he had a change of heart, and is on to another girl. So again, just enjoy it and get the most from him you can.

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    Featured Member Kabukicho's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    ^Exactly, make the most of it. I've got a couple like this but I consider them to have a shelf life. When they are so intense like this I am pretty sure they won't last, at some point they will realise it's not going further and move on to the next girl. Don't stress about it, I'm sure you're not the first he has fallen for. But seriously get what you can while you're with him!

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    God/dess
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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    This is exactly why I don't like having regulars. They're usually just much more of a pain in the ass than what they're worth.



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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    Regulars are not forever. Or none of mine have been, anyway. Generally speaking, the more intense their interest the quicker they will burn out.

    I've never been huge into stringing customers along, cause I kind of believe it will come back to bite you in the ass. But guys are pretty happy to delude themselves for a while, and basically if you give them any hint...even something dumb like, "Oh, you have blue eyes. All the guys I've ever really fallen for have had blue eyes" or whatever, they are more than capable of convincing themselves that you are really falling for them.

    Not ALL regulars just want to date you, either. Some are capable of enjoying the relationship more or less for what it is. Even these guys may lose interest after a while, though. Stipper/customer is not a high-commitment relationship.

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    God/dess loveandluxury's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    Be careful if you string them along. A regular that is mislead and in love with you may turn out to be psycho. I'm just saying..

    Animals are my friends, and I don't eat my friends.
    - George Bernard Shaw

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    Veteran Member winterrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    "i think that stripper likes me" guys ae creepy. just get as much as you can and don't give out your personal info.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "I'm gonna have a drink and walk around, I got a lot to think about, oh yeah"---Concrete Blonde

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    I've had one of those for over a year now. At times I wanna tell him to fuck off coz he is so stalkerish and needy. But he still gives me such good money that I don't.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lyssa Lynn View Post
    Just enjoy it while it's there. Eventually he'll realize you're never going OTC with him, or he'll simply get bored, and move on to someone else. I've had a few regulars burn out on me recently..one had told me how much he loved me, bought me some great gifts, visited regularly, we had great dances together...then POOF, he had a change of heart, and is on to another girl. So again, just enjoy it and get the most from him you can.

    exactly, milk it for all you can and draw it out as long as possible becuase once he knows you wont be interested in the real deal hes outta there,

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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    My good friend had a regular and she considered him a 'trick'. I was with them in the CR one time and she had to go on stage. While she was gone he admitted to me he was in love with her and he wanted to make babies with her and marry her. Mind you this guy is like 50, icky looking, and she was barely 21. She cared nothing about him except that he was always good for money. I didn't know what to tell him, I wanted to console him because I felt so bad, his feelings seemed genuine, although misplaced. And at the same time, I didn't want to ruin her good lick. I just kept trying to change the subject and I later warned her that I thought she was in too deep. He kept saying, "If I could just see her once outside the club.." but he wouldn't finish the sentence.

    I think the infatuation can be harmless, but you should never take any chances.

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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    aww how cute

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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    When I was really new to this I had a guy, who was handsome at hell for 32yo, and he became a 2-3 day a week regular. My first, I was stoked.

    He was real polite, and he always asked when I was working next, and he'd show up...get 3-4 LD every time, buy me a couple of "drinks" (BT waters everything down unless I want a real one, which is rare most nights).

    Anyway, we'd chat etc. I followed some good advice on day one, and from the beginning always gave out "Alias" personal information WHEN ASKED, I never volunteer it. Where I grew up, how old I was, HS, college, car I drove, side of town I lived on...all was made up, my "Alias" info.

    About 3 months into him coming in he asks me again about what HS I went to. I knew right then he had taken my age and gone through the school yearbooks of a HS I didn't go to... but told him I did...and he couldn't find me, and was trying to figure out why with more "innocent" questions.

    In my mind he went from handsome to Hannibal right on the spot. I played it as cool as I could, but I was new, and my hustle with him was never the same.

    Now, I've gotten used to it. Fucking stalker freaks looking up my fake info.

    Regulars are steady money, and they can be cool, so it's good while it lasts and I work with that while I can...but as far as my personal info, I act like they're all one step from psycho.

    Don't give 'em an inch to work with.

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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    Gawd. Last night I ran into an old regular that I hadn't seen in almost 2 years from my old club and he's already bombarding me with questions and begging me for time outside of the club. I think it's time to switch clubs again, LOL.



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    Featured Member Perry's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    Eventually you'll have to break his heart. This can be the absolute worst part of the job. I tend to forget the jerks, the grabbers, sweat-pants boner man and the "I'm as hot as you" girls, but never a customer who developed feelings that weren't returned.

    Don't lie to him about ever seeing him OTC. It's just cruel. Memorize phrases like,
    "I'm not ready for a relationship."
    "I like being single."
    "I'm way too busy with school/work/life to have a boyfriend."

    They may still be lies, but at least they're kind, and it will help encourage him to move on without decreasing his spending drastically.

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    Member Makenzie's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    I'd have to agree with the above. I had nothing short of a whale last summer, ....took me to VIP 3 times a week....and I think he just disappeared because I could not fulfill his desires beyond being a dancer.
    ~Makenzie

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    Veteran Member ediblecrayonz's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    Well, I'd say avoid leading him on at all costs. I've had this happen a few times, and it gets really frustrating and uncomfortable after a while. The guy wants more and gets whiny, and the next thing you know, the guy is coming in 4 times a week and sits in the corner with a pouty face the whole time. Whenever you take him for a private dance, he wants to talk about "your relationship"

    Even if you don't lead them on, they will sometimes spend a lot of money. I told one custy that I was leaving soon to be with my fiance across the country. The next day he came in and bought 13 consecutive dances, saying "I guess I better get as much of you as I can before you leave"

    On the other hand, I am now married to a former customer, so good things can happen.

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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    It all depends on the guy. I have some amazing regulars who see me and enjoy me purely as a dancer. They are loyal, but one thing that this wonderful group is likely to do is dance with other dancers sometimes. This, in the big pic, is a VERY good thing. It means things are healthy.

    There are regulars who believe that they are special, I am special, and we are meant for more than the club experience. Part of them likes that I'm desirable to other guys, but, mostly they want me to sit with them and give them special attn. Most likely, I've led them on too much early on (most of these guys I've met on day shift, when there's more time needed), and these guys don't give up. Enough money to keep playing the game, but close to not, and makes me feel VERY guilty sometimes. You'd think they'd know better, though, after months (and for two, years) of not meeting them OTC.

    Then, you have the guys who just need to have a stripper favorite and be crazy about her. They have nothing going on in their lives, and not much in the way of prospects. They don't make a lot of money, but have a lot of money because of no place to spend it. These are the pains in the asses. But, if they spend their money on you, why not. I just avoid these guys, though, because they almost become fixtures in the club as though they could be employees or something. They just creep me out. Eeew.

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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    Some regulars are okay and have been going to the same club for awhile, but others are very creepy.
    I have my fake info too and at another club I just used my older sisters info, but she is 10 yrs older so it is funny that this one guy thinks I'm a lot older than I am. He looked her up instead...insane.
    One guy googled my house and told me "wow, you have a big backyard" It wasn't my house, but still..

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    Default Re: When a regular is falling for you...

    I work in a high-contact club.

    OMG I think I screwed up and I can't shake this guy. He was a regular, always good for $$$ and I really liked him - loved dancing with him! We kissed, I put his hand on cookie, etc. ( Almost got to in my club.) Good chemistry and he was respectful. He's real smart, kind, and I believe him that he gives a crap about me. I gave him my number and real name. I have BF. Custie wanted OTC and I met him for breakfast after work. He was cool did not hit me for sx. later he started getting all serious and making a HUGE deal out of the OTC and everything because I told him I like him but will not see him OTC again.

    I tried to cool him off by ignoring him when ITC. He has now been texting and emailing me for a couple of months. I've been mean to him at club. He's sent some pissy texts in response but always apologizes later. I have not replied to him in two months but he keeps trying. Leaves me all kinds of messages. I figure if I don't acknowledge him he will eventually dissappear. But I know he willcome back to club and want to talk serious. I know I started this. I jst wanted to "cultivate a good regular." WTF do I do?

    Any advice or criticism welcomed. I need to learn from my mistakes!
    Last edited by Lexya; 10-28-2008 at 04:53 AM.

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