I have an awful, debilitating fear of spiders, and there seems to be an unusually large amount of them living in my apartment. Of course I am a nervous wreck at least twice a day, sometimes leading to panic attacks and crying.
Tonight, nobody was around to kill a particularly large one, which was on the CEILING (the worst possible place for me to see one because I am convinced it will fall on my head) and it was brown. I thought it might have been a brown recluse but it could have been my fear making that up. I don't really know what they look like and frankly I am too terrified to research it. I called Jess and he talked me through killing it with a mop while he was at work, which was shitty for him since he had so much work to do and my call was very distracting.
I was hysterical and woke the baby up with my crying. Eventually I smashed it to death on the floor with the mop and drowned it after it was dead. Yep.
As you can see, this is really not something I want to live with anymore. I don't want to teach my daughter to react this way to things. She's becoming sensitive to my moods and it upsets her when I'm upset. Not good. I'm almost embarrassed to admit the level of fear I have and how much power a stupid insect can have over me.
Has anyone dealt with a phobia, and how did you do it?


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) Anyways, I had to kill a freaking huge one earlier today b/c I was terrified at the thought of it being in the house. How I got the balls to do it, I dunno. But yeah, it was with babies. I had all these little spiders crawling around everywhere after I smooshed it! You should have seen me screaming and jumping around, lol.


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