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Thread: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

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    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    I'm at my wits end.

    Some of you know that I suffered some pretty horrible childhood/teenaged abuse at the hands of my stepdad/some of his friends. I thought I'd gotten past all the dreams and nightmares and flashbacks (at least at night).

    When I first moved in with my Husband it was like he was my magical snuggle. If I was sleeping next to him the dreams went away. It was wonderful. Now they're coming back with a vengeance.

    I don't know what to do. I'm not getting any sleep. Every time I crash out I end up having a terrible flashback style nightmare. I wake up and get some snuggles and go back to sleep but it just keeps happening. I'm not sleeping, I'm going nuts and I'm so exhausted I feel like I'm going to kill the next person that mildly annoys me.

    What do I do? Sleeping pills? I don't know how to deal with is. Dammit, the fucker got to rape me every night for fifteen years I'll be damned if I have to deal with it for another fifteen.

    How do I get over this?

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    God/dess phillyvixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    I am so sorry
    I'm not sure what to tell you.
    Many hypnosis?
    I hope you can get some sleep and that bastard who hurt you dies a painful death and rots in hell
    ::BIG HUGSSS:::



    Quote Originally Posted by Hatshepsut View Post
    Tell him that he's a load his mom should have swallowed.

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    God/dess xdamage's Avatar
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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    When you are a child, and have no defenses against an adult, the fact is that an adult really can hurt you deeply. Later in life, our intellect can be used to put a band-aid over the damage, but it is not a cure, just a cover-up so we can function.

    It is difficult, but not impossible, to do more then that, and at least partially really cure some of the damage, but... it will take time, probably a lot of time.

    I hope you can find the time/funding to go for the cure, but chances are you can't do it alone, and will need the help of a therapist or group that has dealt with this.

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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    There are to deal with Post Stress Traumatic Disorder. I would bet your local rape crisis center can refer you to someone who is successful at dealing with this. It is not something you yourself can overcome alone with books because it is complex.

    I'm sorry you were with these terrible, irresponsible narcissists who exploited you. I hope you can get help right away. Something like this broke up a relationship I had long ago; I didn't really understand her probem at the time, nor did she.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Veteran Member knp001's Avatar
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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    I am so sorry that you have to deal with that.
    I've never been in your situation, so I don't know what you feel like, but my heart goes out to you.
    Maybe therapy, or regular daily meditation? Good luck- you're in my prayers!
    Self-love is not so vile a sin as self-neglect."
    - Shakespeare




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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    Thanks you guys. *Sighs* I just really don't wanna go back to the shrinks. They keep giving me pills. I feel like a zombie when I'm on them.

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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    Maybe try a psychologist instead of a psychiatrist? Since they can't prescribe, you may find one who depends less on meds, more on introspection.

    Some people believe EMDR therapy works. I don't know if there is any solid proof, but in a way it doesn't matter. When it comes to how we think, if we think something works, in a sense then it is working. http://www.emdr.com/

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    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    Ick! I feel your pain. I have PTSD too and I'm on Paxil which is just a haven for nightmares.

    I would recommend getting therapy but I also understand if you don't want to do that. I've had many problems with psychologists who couldn't deal with young teenagers and psychiatrists throwing pill after pill at me. It's sad to think if you find one bad therapist it can really turn you off to the profession entirely.

    Books on PTSD can help you to recognize and recover a little on your own but it might not help with the nightmares. You could try an herbal remedy like St. John's Wort for depression (warning: does make hormonal b.c. ineffective so be careful), or 5HTP which is a naturally occurring anti-depressant and sleep aid that also has appetite supression qualites and has shown promise controlling night terrors in children http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/5htp.

    If you don't want to touch meds at ALL, maybe a good kickboxing class or self defense class will help with the lingering sense of helplessness.

    Sorry if I'm rambling on, I really hope you find a solution that is helpful to you and you feel better real soon. Just remember honey, it's not your fault that he was a scumbag. I hope he gets castrated.

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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    Thanks for the ideas; I'm not opposed to sleep aids, I need them badly, it's the only way I can sleep at all. I just know I can't keep self medicating. I got painkillers and never took them when I had my knee surgery and I take them every night to sleep.

    Where can I get the 5htp?

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    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    ^As far as I can tell, lots of places. GNC would probably have it if the supermarket doesn't. You can also order it online from places like www.drugstore.com.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    Quote Originally Posted by cherry_sin View Post
    When I first moved in with my Husband it was like he was my magical snuggle. If I was sleeping next to him the dreams went away. It was wonderful. Now they're coming back with a vengeance.
    Any recent life events that might have triggered them? Do you have insurance for professional psychiatric treatment?

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    Banned cherry_sin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    ^That's the thing. My life is finally settled and great. We both work from home, we're happily married, no drama at all, great financial situation, all that. There's no reason to be having these again. They just seem to cycle on and off and I loathe the idea of having another 5-14 months of this.

    I'm going to GNC this afternoon I guess. Hopefully it works! *Crosses fingers*

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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    Pills are NOT the answer, despite what those shrinks gave you to quell your symptoms. Your professionals from what you said here, did not help you. But it helped fill up their schedule book.

    PTSD includes treatments like talking thru things, directing your anger away from yourself, group therapy for more inclusive support. You can find lots of approaches online for helping with PTSD.

    Episodes come and go because you may have dealt with symptoms and given yourself sometemporary help. But you haven't really fixed it and that's why it keeps coming back when subtle triggers occur.

    Again, Pills are NOT the answer.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    The only PTSD groups I can find in my area are either christian or for veterans. I am burned out on churches (my stepdad was a volunteer youth minister).

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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    A Rape-Crisis Center somewhere near you should be abl to point you to better help. I agree with you on 'faith-based' groups.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    Hey Cherry
    I am so sorry for what you are going through, kind of going through the same thing myself at the moment. I have the good advice but I cant take it! Try and find a therapist who wont push pills on you, like someone suggested a psychologist is good or a counselor, but try and find one that specializes in CSA, I think it makes the world of difference.
    Talk about it, write about it, draw pictures about it, try and get the shit out so it is not haunting you in your sleep.
    Also someone else suggested kick boxing, which is something I found immensely helpful myself when I could do it. Healthy fit bodies are healthier and that particular type of exercise makes you feel so strong and tough, its good.
    It''s not as active as it used to be, but theres a website called brokenspirits that has a lot of info and a forum that has very supportive members.
    Big hugs, you seem like a really lovely person and I hope you find some peace.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Featured Member Starfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    I definitely think you should seek therapy-but with someone good, that specializes in this particular area, and doesn't want to push pills on you. it might take some doing to find the perfect therapist, but even just talking about the issues can help, just to get it out. Also, you might want to look into some alternative/complementary therapies like shiatsu massage or acupuncture, that can help with the stress.
    Hope you feel better soon.

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    Default Re: Terrible nightmares/flashbacks

    Thanks you guys. I tried the valerian root and it helps immensely. I found a support group about an hour away, and I think I'm gonna go next week. You guys are all so great. I love stripperweb.

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