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Thread: I just can't do this job Single

  1. #1
    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    I just can't do this job Single

    I broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago, but it's turned out to be one of those slow fade out breakups, where neither of you can just call it quits for good.

    Well, thins are getting more and more tense and it's becoming clear it really might be at the bitter end.

    And now I find I just can't stand dancing anymore. It makes me feel so angry and bitter and lonely. I feel like nothing but a piece of meat. I'm sorry this is so negative, I don't mean to suggest that anyone else should feel "objectified" by dancing. I didn't, I used to LOVE dancing. But somehow now, it just feels too draining to be sexual with strange men (in any capacity) when I have no one to go home to and give me something back.

    I have no idea what to do. I have hit burn out monumentally hard, but I am still very dependent on it for my income right now. Moving out of our home ate up all that was left of my savings. I dread going in and I just hate it. I used to be one of those girls who always looks like she's having a blast. Now, it's a rare occasion when I can bring myself to look a customer in the eye and smile for a second. I had to quit one club I worked at because the contact dances were too much for me.

    Th sex industry can be so lonely when you have to sleep in an empty at the end of the night.

    Has anyone ever felt this way?

  2. #2
    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just can't do this job Single

    Sorry about the smiley icon. I am not smiley.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I just can't do this job Single

    you know, i realized that during the time i wasn't doing so well at work, had no motivation, etc, was while me and my bf were broken up. ive never had this prob in the past but this time i did.. and now that we're back together things are peachy again. it's weird.

  4. #4
    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just can't do this job Single

    Maybe you should consider taking a break from dancing? You have made so many posts about how unfulfilled you are in the job... that the money has not been good, that it has been wearing on you, and in this post that you are not feeling emotionally like this is where you should be right now. It seems like a lot of factors that are exacerbated by dancing...

    I know you mention being financially dependent on dancing right now but from what you've said on SW maybe it's all intertwined. Financially, emotionally, psychologically?

    It might not be that you can't do this job single, but maybe without general emotional anchors.

    There are other jobs you can get on pretty short notice that are not as glamorous as dancing, but... add up how much money you actually NEED (rent and utilities and bare minimum for groceries). It's probably a lot less than you would ideally want to make dancing but doable in other jobs.

    Good luck in whatever you choose!

  5. #5
    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just can't do this job Single

    Quote Originally Posted by Elvia View Post
    The sex industry can be so lonely when you have to sleep in an empty at the end of the night.
    QFT. I feel this way a lot now that my relationship is over. It doesn't bother me at work, but as soon as I get home it hits me that I'm truly alone. I wonder if I will ever find someone who wants me for more than sex.

    I don't know what to tell you. Breakups suck monkey balls. You would probably be miserable no matter what job you had. I enjoy going to work because it helps me forget the problems I have at home. Hang in there girl. Find those good custies who will make your night and take out all your frustration on the broke PLs.

  6. #6
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just can't do this job Single

    Sounds really rough. I've never danced single, but I think I know exactly what you mean about giving so much at work and needing to get that same energy back at the end of the day.

    I don't know anything about your financial situation, but I second anomar...can you get a job waitressing or bar-tending for a few weeks and then see where you are? Break-ups are a huge adjustment, but things WILL come back into balance. Go easy on yourself while you're still adjusting.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Gwennnnnn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just can't do this job Single

    I totally agree. I had a bf for a year who was SO supportive of my dancing, I would go to his house every morning when I got off (he had a work from home job and we would both stay up really late.) He would listen to me bitch and cry about work... God that was great. We broke up two months ago and its a lot harder to go home every morning to my own apt and and empty bed....

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    Default Re: I just can't do this job Single

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    you know, i realized that during the time i wasn't doing so well at work, had no motivation, etc, was while me and my bf were broken up. ive never had this prob in the past but this time i did.. and now that we're back together things are peachy again. it's weird.

    Sorry to thread jack but im happy you are back with your man britt!

  9. #9
    Senior Member LadyM's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just can't do this job Single

    God, I was the opposite...single or in long-distance relationships most of the time I danced. As soon as my husband and I decided to get married, it was like someone flipped a switch and I couldn't do it anymore.

    All I could think when I was at work dealing with assholes was 'you are such scum and why am I here when I have a man 1000x better than you waiting for me at home?!?!?'

    And the weirdest thing is that I always thought I would be one of those girls who could have a serious relationship and dance with no problem at all.

  10. #10
    Featured Member Jeska's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just can't do this job Single

    Maybe get a dog or cat? It might sound silly, but if I ever broke up with my b/f I'd be happy to know that my kitty would be waiting for me at home.


  11. #11
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    Default Re: I just can't do this job Single

    Quote Originally Posted by head turner View Post
    Sorry to thread jack but im happy you are back with your man britt!
    thank you!

  12. #12
    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just can't do this job Single

    ^^^Just wanted to add that you seem SO much happier now-it's come across so much in your posts lately. I was worrying about you for a while and I'm so glad that you're feeling better.

    /threadjack

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