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Thread: Is it awful to try dancing out for a few nights and not tell bf right?

  1. #26
    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: It's just awful to not tell your boyfriend that you dance right ?

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    if you have been with him for that long, wouldnt you think there is an honesty and trust factor there? if he trusts you he wont care, if he is secure in himself he wont care. tell him your just giving it a try right now and seeing if its working for you. but then again since you never bothered telling him in the beginning that you had an interest in it, hes prolly going to be peeved that you never told him at the start of your interest, but then thats your bad.
    I agree.

    And, if you're lying about it (e.g., saying you're waitressing when you're really not) - then I'd say it's wrong.

  2. #27
    Senior Member Dixie_Vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it awful to try dancing out for a few nights and not tell bf right?

    I'm 100% about being open with your partner.
    It can be really hard to find someone who understands it (I escort, so that definitely adds another level to it), but if someone really cares about you they'll accept it and get why you do what you do. On the other hand, if they don't, then they're probably not someone you should be with.
    I just don't see how you could lie to your boyfriend about your job...that's such a big thing in your life and it seems like it'd take so much effort to try and maintain your lies.
    I have enough trouble trying to hide my life from my mom, and I see her a lot less often!

  3. #28
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it awful to try dancing out for a few nights and not tell bf right?

    ^ It takes emotional effort to hide ( which is why I'm not hiding it anymore). It's really not that hard to physically hide though. My day job has me living at least 8-10 days out of the month in hotels. I don't have anything to do in the evenings ( or at least 4-5 evenings a month that are totally free ) . My stripper gear fits into a gym bag .

    Hence ....
    1. Dancer bag into larger suitcase that holds my business clothes.
    +2. Free evening outside my home area.
    = 3. Instastripper.
    Last edited by carmen_b; 07-31-2008 at 02:55 PM.

  4. #29
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    Default Re: Is it awful to try dancing out for a few nights and not tell bf right?

    Another guy's perspective here...

    I wouldn't care if the GF/wife was dancing... If she hid it from me I would though, its not the act, its the keeping it secret. (I'm also of the opinion that if you are auditioning, and dancing on and off anyway, you might as well go all the way. If was gonna get mad, I'd get madder if you were doing it for free... if that makes sense)

    That being said, why are you still with the guy? It sounds like the relationship has been dead or dying for a while already...

    In the end you gotta do what is best for you, if you don't, and sacrifice what you want to do for him, you may end up resenting him...

  5. #30
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it awful to try dancing out for a few nights and not tell bf right?

    ^ I definitely would like to try a few full shifts to see what kind of earning potential I have. He knows that I'm into goals and life improvement .... but it's a lot to process.

    He's telling me the usual stuff :
    Him : " If you decide to go to one of those places ... be careful ... you might end up missing "
    Me : " Well that is why you don't leave with anyone and you watch your drinks."

    He will then prattle off more of the usual strib club cliche's that people new to the concept think of ..............
    Last edited by carmen_b; 05-23-2008 at 02:37 PM.

  6. #31
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it awful to try dancing out for a few nights and not tell bf right?

    Update : He is still looking at me occasionally like I just released an alien from my belly. When will this stop ?
    Last edited by carmen_b; 05-24-2008 at 03:21 PM.

  7. #32
    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it awful to try dancing out for a few nights and not tell bf right?

    Honestly, girl...

    It doesn't sound like this is the man that you want to be with. If he really is into you, he'll let you get this out of your system.

    Dreams have experiation dates. You can either let him talk you out of doing it, and eventually you'll forget about it for a little while. Chances are good you'll break up, and then you'll blame and begrudge him for not "letting" you dance.

    I think that it can't hurt you to get some indepednce from the situation. Tell him this is your decesion, and you're going to do it. He'll either respect your decesion, or he won't. But you can't base your life decesions on what this man wants or does not want you to do. You'll be miserable later.

    Follow your own dreams, not his.
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

  8. #33
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    Default Re: Is it awful to try dancing out for a few nights and not tell bf right?

    Ok, here's one more thing i have to say, that seems pertinent...

    As scary/hard/sucky as it is to be honest with your LOVER about all the things you think and do, I think it's necessary if you ever want to make a great connection in your lifetime. Like, then if all the people who weren't completely happy with certain parts of you left or just stayed friends, you weed out people who aren't as good with you, and leave room for people who are, and are just so thrilled and excited to be with you and love you exactly as you honestly are.

    I think that's why I took the chance and broke up with my boyfriend... because as much as it sucked, I believed there must be some men out there who could handle things better than he did, so why was I even bothering, struggling with unnecessary bullshit?
    I want to believe that I myself, am pretty awesome, and I like the way i am, and anyone I'm with should feel the same way about me, if not MORE. If someone loves you for who you honestly are, applaud them, for having GOOD TASTE, hahaha.

    You mentioned a handful of reasons why he's worth breaking up with, already (for example, you're afraid he'll blackmail you and tell your family... not a trustworthy sign). If you really want to dance, maybe you should seriously consider a break, or a break-up, and think about the possibility of it being a blessing in disguise. If he's like my man, maybe it'll give him a wake-up call and he'll come to his senses and treat you better. And if not, then you've washed your hands of a mediocre relationship, AND you're making $$$ to get over it!

    It seems like I'm pretty much reiterating what the VegasPrincess and some other girls are saying. But it always helps to hear things worded differently!

  9. #34
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is it awful to try dancing out for a few nights and not tell bf right?

    Vegas and Lily : Great advice. It's 5:30 a.m. , so I need to come back and re-read this later ( yep ... I'm anxious and awake at what is usually an ungodly hour for me).

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