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Thread: moving on

  1. #1
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default moving on

    Well, technically I'm just "taking a break." Probably won't know how I feel for a few weeks, if then. But I've started feeling so negative about dancing, something has really got to change.

    This is not a great time in my life to quit dancing, although it could be worse. I have no debt, my boyfriend's tuition is saved through graduation, and my living expenses are blessedly low. On the other hand, I'm still devoting a lot of time to the business I started and not ready to give up on it...so I still need a pay-the-bills job that doesn't demand too much of my time. I'm probably going to waitress at a new club. A friend who works there told me waitresses can make a commission selling bottles, and I think I'd be great at hustling with my clothes on. So I'll give that a whirl.

    More than anything, I really don't want to get dragged back into dancing just because I need to the money. I may dance again eventually, but I'm completely serious about needing a break right now. I've really let things get to me lately and gotten so negative, not just about the job but about human beings in general. I can't stand to see any more of people's bad behavior at the moment.

    But in a week or two I'll need money or start feeling lazy and I know I'll be really tempted to just strap on my high heels and go...I mean it, though. This is it. For a while.

  2. #2
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: moving on

    I hope this break is helpful to get life straightened out. Wish you the best!

  3. #3
    Featured Member cottoncandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    I hope the break is helpful too. I think you should try champagne waitressing like you mentioned and see if you make enough- you could. Most of all just enjoy your time off and take care of yourself and nurture yourself. Good Luck!

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    Featured Member CuriousSeeker's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    Sounds like you know yourself really well, and how cool to spend the time building your biz. Congrats on a new chapter!
    "Don't piss off a motivated stripper."


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    Default Re: moving on

    I just have to say that, being 39, I get to see friends and old classmates that really struggled financially in their twenties, now working happily and successfully in their chosen fields. None of them got there through stripping.

    As long as stripping is an option, then stripping is an option. It really can be like an addiction. Quit cold turkey and a few weeks later you need it NOW. It's also like a crutch, if things get too hard you know you can dance again. My suggestion is to just be done with it and force yourself to find another way to live. I say this because we all get so down on ourselves when this job starts eating us alive, yet, what we deal with is A LOT to ask of a person. 99% of the population gets through life without being a stripper. Stick to your guns and force all of your energy toward your other options.

  6. #6
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    Thank you, shakti. You put it really well. Dancing can be a crutch. I'm used to telling myself that dancing is the ONLY way I can make enough money, quickly enough, to keep myself going. But when I factor in the time it takes me to bounce back to normal after each shift, the money is no longer really quick or easy.

    Truth is, there's plenty of things I can do to make money. I haven't been doing them because dancing has been taking so much time and energy for the past couple of years.

    I can't put my finger on exactly why the job is so hard for me now when it used not to be, but you don't always have to be able to say exactly what the problem is to know there's a problem.
    Last edited by xoxoGracexoxo; 05-19-2008 at 10:38 AM.

  7. #7
    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    Quote Originally Posted by shakti View Post
    I just have to say that, being 39, I get to see friends and old classmates that really struggled financially in their twenties, now working happily and successfully in their chosen fields. None of them got there through stripping.

    As long as stripping is an option, then stripping is an option. It really can be like an addiction. Quit cold turkey and a few weeks later you need it NOW. It's also like a crutch, if things get too hard you know you can dance again. My suggestion is to just be done with it and force yourself to find another way to live. I say this because we all get so down on ourselves when this job starts eating us alive, yet, what we deal with is A LOT to ask of a person. 99% of the population gets through life without being a stripper. Stick to your guns and force all of your energy toward your other options.
    I found this super inspiring, too. It's so true that the strip club is always there for you, and that this knowledge can have the effect of limiting your other options.

    When I quit, I found that it really boosted my morale to go out looking cute for reasons that had nothing to do with stripping. For maybe the first eight months or so, I was my usual scrubby self. Let the bush grow in, stopped getting pedicures, ran around in jeans and sneakers every day... and that was really refreshing. But after awhile, I missed attention. So pedicures and makeup and cute dresses and the odd pedicure here and there really helped to keep my morale up and sort of took the edge off not having the opportunity to morph into SexBombThing at the club.

    I still go in and work when I'm in a tight spot financially, and end up really loving those nights when I do. Semi-retirement works for me, although I'm very aware that even that is sort of pushing the strip-addiction envelope and possibly not doing me any long-term favors.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #8
    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    I wish I could take a break too... right now things are too difficult to quit... good luck with waitressing... i know plenty of girls who make great money doing that.

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    Veteran Member winterrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    good luck. I'm looking for other jobs too. I'm burned out on the stripping thing.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "I'm gonna have a drink and walk around, I got a lot to think about, oh yeah"---Concrete Blonde

  10. #10
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    Quote Originally Posted by red red red View Post
    I still go in and work when I'm in a tight spot financially, and end up really loving those nights when I do. Semi-retirement works for me, although I'm very aware that even that is sort of pushing the strip-addiction envelope and possibly not doing me any long-term favors.
    That sounds pretty healthy. I mean, the flip-side of dancing always being there is that it IS always there if you have an emergency. If I had a big financial crisis (or even a medium-sized one) I'd go back in for a few days or weeks, like a shot. What I DON'T want is to find myself dancing to meet monthly expenses, and doing that math in my head..."How many more times to I have to take my top off to buy groceries this week?"

  11. #11
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    Damn. So one week later and I'm already thinking it's time to go back. I tried waitressing at the club where my friend danced, but it was not for me. It's the kind of club where everything is based around regulars -- maintaining pseudo relationships with them, hanging out outside the club, and other sugardaddy-like stuff. I find that really exhausting. Not to mention you can't make money at this club until you've been there a few months. I worked there four days without breaking $50. The VIP guys come in and go straight for their favorite waitress and dancers. Most of the customers left on the floor for new waitresses and dancers are a little sketchy. There's no hustling, either. Waitresses are in a rotation and you take a table only when it's your turn. If your turn is up and the next guy who comes in is the homeless man who buys one iced tea (the only drink that gets free refills), tips you 50 cents and camps out in one of the dance booths all day ogling the girls on stage and generally being creepy, well, that is just your luck.

    It wouldn't be a bad place to work if you were planning on devoting several years to building clientele. There are girls who have been there 10+ years who pretty much run the club, sit only with their regulars, and make loads of money. But I haven't got ten years to spend like this, so I'm out.

    The more I think about it, the more I want to try waitressing at my usual club. I'm already on good terms with the staff and well-known to a lot of the customers. I find dancing really draining right now, but the club is still a pretty decent place. I miss it.

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    Default nice article

    , i like article much
    ??

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    Featured Member CuriousSeeker's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    The more I think about it, the more I want to try waitressing at my usual club. I'm already on good terms with the staff and well-known to a lot of the customers. I find dancing really draining right now, but the club is still a pretty decent place. I miss it.
    Hugs to you! That's so frustrating.

    Why not give your old place a shot and use your ties there to your advantage? Sounds like a good option right now...
    "Don't piss off a motivated stripper."


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    Veteran Member Julie, Julie's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    Ooooo, sounds like you waitressed at Flash - but then again, I don't even know if you're in NY. I HATED it when I worked there as a server and what you described sounds IDENTICAL to their waitress policies.

    Yes, i agree you should try waitressing @ your old club (or even another position, VIP Hostess?) before surrendering to dancing again.
    Also, just curious, do you feel like you HAVE to waitress at a SC only?
    j

  15. #15
    Veteran Member justtobenaked's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    Although I am in a different state, I waitress. Tonight was slow for my section and I brought home a $100.00. Try another club, or restaurant (upscale) dont just let one bad exprience spoi the rest....unless you just have your mind made up...IMO I worked for 5 hours for tips plus my hourly, and at 5-6 days a week I make more than a college education....grueling work though...and bitchy people...but you deal with it and hustle...upsell everything you can to increase the total, and in turn your tips...GL

  16. #16
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    Default Re: moving on

    If you want to go that route why not actually work at a good restaurant? Or cocktail or bartend somewhere else? Same tip potential, not the same competition -- I know how those clubs loooooove to have twelve waitresses on at once.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    Good point...I guess it doesn't have to be a strip club, if I'm just going to be waitressing. It seems logical, though, because I am an excellent hustler in that environment. I don't have a problem selling dances, I just Do. Not. Want. to take my clothes off for anybody I don't know for a while.

    My tolerance for other people's bullshit is just pretty much exhausted. My tendencies are to be reclusive and misanthropic anyway. I need to quit while I'm still ahead.

    My only previous experience waitressing was at a greasy spoon when I was 19, where $50 was a great day. Is there really decent money in it? It seems to me like cocktail waitressing would be lower stress in a lot of ways. Getting a tray of drinks out to a bunch of drunk guys sounds a lot easier than serving an entire meal to an eight-top of grouchy old people and screaming kids.

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    Default Re: moving on

    I'm trying to find a real job too. I haven't decided to quit, but I know I need to at least try something else and make dancing a part time endeavour (for a variety of reasons). I feel your frustration! and it's scary too. Dancing is hard for other reasons than real life, but it's so hard to walk away from. I hope things work out for you, Grace!

  19. #19
    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Good point...I guess it doesn't have to be a strip club, if I'm just going to be waitressing. It seems logical, though, because I am an excellent hustler in that environment. I don't have a problem selling dances, I just Do. Not. Want. to take my clothes off for anybody I don't know for a while.

    My tolerance for other people's bullshit is just pretty much exhausted. My tendencies are to be reclusive and misanthropic anyway. I need to quit while I'm still ahead.

    My only previous experience waitressing was at a greasy spoon when I was 19, where $50 was a great day. Is there really decent money in it? It seems to me like cocktail waitressing would be lower stress in a lot of ways. Getting a tray of drinks out to a bunch of drunk guys sounds a lot easier than serving an entire meal to an eight-top of grouchy old people and screaming kids.

    I have a part time bartending job, and really there just isn't any money in it anymore.....I mean, with the economy being what it is, people aren't going out. The bar I work in is really expensive too, so.....it's just empty. A lot of bars are like that now in EVERY city. It's really a bummer.

    Also, there's only so much you can hustle somebody into buying.... if you get beer drinkers, well that's that. And also, the tips are way less money than dancing... I personally find bartending more offensive than getting naked for strangers.
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

  20. #20
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mollyzmoon View Post
    I feel your frustration! and it's scary too. Dancing is hard for other reasons than real life, but it's so hard to walk away from. I hope things work out for you, Grace!
    Yeah, I didn't expect it to be this hard to leave. I always kinda thought I'd either have a dramatic implosion where somehow I could never go back, or I'd get some sort of scheme going that would support me as I weaned myself off the stripper money. I haven't had any implosion, but I'm not sure I'm ready to support myself doing something else yet, either. And it is really, really hard to give up the ultra-flexible scheduling and fast money potential.

    But maybe I just need to be pushed out of the nest. If dancing just weren't an option any more, it's not like I'd starve. Any time I've needed a job I've been able to find one.

    Good luck to you, too, Molly. We'll figure it out.

  21. #21
    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: moving on

    i'm there with you. i need out, or at least a severe cut-back of my time spent dancing, but i can't quite figure out how to do that and still stay in school full time.

    but i hear you on the bullshit tolerance. i'm at the point where i feel like i'm going to "go postal" any day now. one too many guys is going to lick me or say some stupid shit and it's just going to be the "straw". :/

    it's the same shit every. single. shift.

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