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Thread: New guy drama , I think its over ...

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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Ugh so I have been seeing this guy for like what 3 weeks ?? At the most .....and last night for the 2nd time already I ended things with him


    The first time it was over this female friend of his ....I couldnt go out because he waited until like 10 to call me and I have a little kid so ....anyways he was all to happy to tell me that he his "Friend" wanted to take him out This chick def has a thing for him . Anyways being that we were so new I was just like ok if thats how he is maybe he just isnt worth my time , ya know we are still getting to know each other and for me I dont think that people in relationships should go out on weekend nights to bar with friends of the opposite sex ......I dont care that he does this , he is his own person , I just feel that it makes us very different , too different maybe


    Anyways we got over it .

    Brings us to last night . He emails me at like 150am so we go into this private chat i set up for us and he starts telling me about these drunk girls from Daytona and how they wanted to take him home but he turned them down and wasnt that great of him !?
    This guy he works with takes him out after work on Saturday , my guy is the"wingman"
    I tried to tell him that now that you are in a relationship your not really the wingman anymore , you are just two friends going to have fun . He agreed .

    Anyways things got weird after that , I dont even remember how it started but he started saying things like "you like me more than I like you " and "we should slow things down"

    I dont even remember all the other things he said but they were hurtful .

    Also I told him that he shouldnt have slept with me if he felt this way because I made it very clear to him what a big step that was for me and not to get to personal about him because thats not fair but lets just say I risked my health somewhat by sleeping with him .......so hes not so kool in my book today .

    I told him things were over and at first he was like No , I am gunna call you and I am gunna write , we can work this out .....

    For me I can not go on dating someone knowing that they think things like "you like me more than I like you" and like everytime I would want to say something like "I like you" I would feel self conscious now ......Basically I wan to end things because I mean if in less than a month we are already having major disagreements and having these feelings , where is it going ? Ya know ??? He has had his broken and he is spooked because I do like him so much , I know that but still this is way to much drama for such a young relationship , dont you think ?

    Honestly I really feel like I am a great girl and for someone like him , he should the one who likes me and want me more ...ya know ? I know that I deserve that . I dont want someone who worships me but I think some guy should be very proud of me and feel lucky to have me .......

    so I am hurting a little bit and I am confused and I am really disappointed that I had been saving myself for the last 3yrs and that I gave myself and risked my health to be with this guy because I thought we were on the same page .....I can deal with alot but I cant deal with someone who says mean things to an innocent party when they angry .......

    haha , thats funny because I have been being so short with my daughter all day and I am sure its because of this ....damn now I am no better that this loser ....wtf
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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    I just wanted to say a couple of things:

    * Sometimes men and women can be JUST friends. I was JUST friends with someone before he cut me off because being friends with me was hurting his very new relationship with another girl. Yes we recently decided to not date each other and be just friends. I was really enjoying the friendship. His new girl is just like you in re me.

    Now because of his new girl I've been cut off from the friendship with him and won't be "allowed" to contact him for a few weeks whilst he solidifies his relationship with this new girl.

    * This is the same guy who said to me "I hope you're not falling for me" and I was at the time (I was JUST like you.. it was still in the "getting to know each other" phase and I was sleeping with him). When guys say these sorts of things it means that they are not looking for a committment at that time. They may change their mind however at the same time from my very recent experience it will also mean that you are wanting more than he can offer.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sindi View Post
    Honestly I really feel like I am a great girl and for someone like him , he should the one who likes me and want me more ...ya know ? I know that I deserve that . I dont want someone who worships me but I think some guy should be very proud of me and feel lucky to have me .......
    I'm in the same exact boat. I know I'm worthy of love yet am frustrated that it alludes me so much. That I seem to come so so close to it only to have my heart broken.


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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Thanks .

    I just dont thinks its respectful or nessecery to have friends of the oppisite sex when you are in a relationship . There are two situation for me that always arise 1 one person always wants to be more than friends OR 2 the "friend" is too close and doenst think that I am good enough and causes trouble .....I would just rather not have that drama in my life .

    I am sad to lose him BUT he was the one that went around calling me his girlfriend and referring to himself as my boyfriend . He was the one who in my opinion pushed us into a more than dating status .....

    I dunno , he has issues I know this .......I am just too damaged to handle someone else who is damaged too .

    I love kissing him more than I have ever EVER liked kissing someone before so we can not be friends !!! I think the sex would be amazing someday too , once we get really comfy in it ......ugh I was really falling for this guy

    You know what he says all the time ? He doesnt know why I like him ....and he is always putting himself down beause hes not rich and hes not all these things .

    For me he is a nice guy , whos smart and funny and caring . He lets me talk all the time and he is amazing with my daughter . He has pets and they adore him but they dont run his life .......just a nice mix , he was a great guy . He has the asshole friends too though ......I never even met them , they scared me , lmao , I didnt wanna meet them !!!!

    Anyways I dont know what to do .......I wanna meet this chick hes "friends" with ....shes fugly from a picture i saw and so not his type ......ugh


    Thanks xoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo I really like him

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoastGirl View Post
    I just wanted to say a couple of things:

    * Sometimes men and women can be JUST friends. I was JUST friends with someone before he cut me off because being friends with me was hurting his very new relationship with another girl. Yes we recently decided to not date each other and be just friends. I was really enjoying the friendship. His new girl is just like you in re me.

    Now because of his new girl I've been cut off from the friendship with him and won't be "allowed" to contact him for a few weeks whilst he solidifies his relationship with this new girl.

    * This is the same guy who said to me "I hope you're not falling for me" and I was at the time (I was JUST like you.. it was still in the "getting to know each other" phase and I was sleeping with him). When guys say these sorts of things it means that they are not looking for a committment at that time. They may change their mind however at the same time from my very recent experience it will also mean that you are wanting more than he can offer.



    I'm in the same exact boat. I know I'm worthy of love yet am frustrated that it alludes me so much. That I seem to come so so close to it only to have my heart broken.
    Visit me on myspace , Let me know if your from SW !!!!

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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    It sounds like you know the truth. The guy isn't appreciative enough, mature enough, in the right space, whatever... basically he's not able to give you the kind of relationship you want & deserve. I know you broke up with him already, but seriously - CUT HIM OFF completely. Trust your instincts. There is someone better out there for you.

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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Quote Originally Posted by dallylama View Post
    It sounds like you know the truth. The guy isn't appreciative enough, mature enough, in the right space, whatever... basically he's not able to give you the kind of relationship you want & deserve. I know you broke up with him already, but seriously - CUT HIM OFF completely. Trust your instincts. There is someone better out there for you.

    *sniffle* I am weakening ....I miss him , I care about him .......shit ....this sucks ......this is the same guy I had a dream about before I met him ...
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    I dont know if I could take this advice if I were in your shoes but still!

    Take a little step back.

    You deserve someone who makers you feel special. Not just because they get your hormones racing and all of that. I mean he was special, no wonder you dreamed about him, he was the man who helped you re-lose your virginity, lol. but that doesnt mean he os good long term boyfriend material.

    Sounds like he is playing mind games, or at the very least is a bit fcking immature, how mean to say you like him more than he likes you! Those words should never be spoken in a relationship.

    In my books it is ok to have friends of the opposite sex, but you are not having a relationship with me, you're having it with him and he should respect how you feel, especially in the first month!! And if my partner said he were uncomfortable with me going out alone with someone, I would rework it so we all hung out together somehow.

    There are men out there with the same standards as you, dont settle.

    Its hard being a single parent and dating, but there are men who will make it easy. Who wont go out with another girl everytime you are unavailable due to mamma duties!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess Miss Jessica's Avatar
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoastGirl View Post
    I just wanted to say a couple of things:



    * Sometimes men and women can be JUST friends. I was JUST friends with someone before he cut me off because being friends with me was hurting his very new relationship with another girl. Yes we recently decided to not date each other and be just friends. I was really enjoying the friendship. His new girl is just like you in re me.



    Now because of his new girl I've been cut off from the friendship with him and won't be "allowed" to contact him for a few weeks whilst he solidifies his relationship with this new girl.

    That's fucking bullshit. It infuriates me when broads are that insecure. Not trying to flame you Sindi, I really like you and am trying to understand where you're comming from.

    I have mostly guy friends. It doesn't usually pose any problems w/their SO. (it has on a couple occasions, but anyway...)But most of these guys have been my closest friends (they're like brother to me really) for over a decade now. #1 rule to keeping healthy friendships w/guy friends is to never cross certain lines. My roommate is a guy (one of my firends whom I've known for many years) and it's the best living situation ever! No lines are ever crossed, no sexual tension, we even will cook dinner and watch movies together. But we have absolutely no interest in each other "that way" whatsoever. Of course, if he did get a GF our living situation would most likely not work anymore. If I was dating someone and they didn't like it... well I'd just tell them to fuck off. LoL.

    But whatever, every person and every situation is different. Nevermind everyones opinion, just do what works for you.
    Last edited by Miss Jessica; 05-18-2008 at 06:22 PM.
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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Jessica View Post
    That's fucking bullshit. It infuriates me when broads are that insecure. Not trying to flame you Sindi, I really like you and am trying to understand where you're comming from.

    I have mostly guy friends. It doesn't usually pose any problems w/their SO. (it has on a couple occasions, but anyway...)But most of these guys have been my closest friends (they're like brother to me really) for over a decade now. #1 rule to keeping healthy friendships w/guy friends is to never cross certain lines. My roommate is a guy (one of my firends whom I've known for many years) and it's the best living situation ever! No lines are ever crossed, no sexual tension, we even will cook dinner and watch movies together. But we have absolutely no interest in each other "that way" whatsoever. Of course, if he did get a GF our living situation would most likely not work anymore. If I was dating someone and they didn't like it... well I'd just tell them to fuck off. LoL.

    But whatever, every person and every situation is different. Nevermind everyones opinion, just do what works for you.

    Its ok , I totally get that not everyone will see things my way . Its just for my personal experiences have not been good , so if a guy i am dating has friendships that bother me , its just one more thing that will add stress ......honestly it was more who and where , like this chick clearly has a thing for him , I have never met me nor have I had the option ....and she wanted to take him to a bar on a Friday night ....thats kinda like a date, ya know ??

    I try to be open minded but that was a little much for me so soon in the relationship . I never put my foot down , I know there are exceptions , I really really do .


    I still love you Jess !!!!
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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Flick6 View Post
    I dont know if I could take this advice if I were in your shoes but still!

    Take a little step back.

    You deserve someone who makers you feel special. Not just because they get your hormones racing and all of that. I mean he was special, no wonder you dreamed about him, he was the man who helped you re-lose your virginity, lol. but that doesnt mean he os good long term boyfriend material.

    Sounds like he is playing mind games, or at the very least is a bit fcking immature, how mean to say you like him more than he likes you! Those words should never be spoken in a relationship.

    In my books it is ok to have friends of the opposite sex, but you are not having a relationship with me, you're having it with him and he should respect how you feel, especially in the first month!! And if my partner said he were uncomfortable with me going out alone with someone, I would rework it so we all hung out together somehow.

    There are men out there with the same standards as you, dont settle.

    Its hard being a single parent and dating, but there are men who will make it easy. Who wont go out with another girl everytime you are unavailable due to mamma duties!

    Thanks xoxo I am almost 28 , where is my prince ?!?!?! No no where is my king ?????
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    I met my king at 27 (with my 3 yr old daughter in tow) maybe its a great age to start a serious relationship! You are mature enough to know what you want and need.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Well, I was enjoying the friendship with the guy I used to date.. I told him to choose the other girl over me. He and her have my blessings however it really sucks that she has asked him to break the friendship off with me. It hurts. I loved him enough as a friend and only as a friend. I realised I wasn't compatible with him in the end and really wanted to just be friends.... yet his girl (right now - it's only in the last week or so he has 'officially' been with her in a relationship) has obviously asked him to cut it off with me.... and so he did. He basically chose her over me.

    So I love him enough to give him the breathing space. To allow him that relationship. To let him go enough so that she can see that I am being honest and true when I say I just want to be friends with him. Yeah, okay, we had amazing chemistry.. yet that is over. That is done and dusted and over.

    Anyway, it sounds like you and him (the guy you are involved with) need to really sit down and speak with each other. Communicate.


    IF, like me, he doesn't reciprocate the feelings .. and you do like him more than he likes you (which happens more than you think)... it's just a matter of timing. You both entered each others' lives for a reason.. find out what that reason was for yourself.



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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Yeah she if he had dated this chick I would have been even quicker with the uh no over my dead body feelings .

    In my own defense though I am one of those people who NEVER speaks to my ex's , I have nothing to do with them what so ever . I am not saying right or wrong , I am just saying my comfort levels .


    Also its more the way he went about it , the way he handles things is to tell me to "calm down" or to "get over it" and call him later .....

    He is NOT like that to my face , to my face he is amazing , online I dont even know him .....jekyll and Hyde

    It will be what ever it will be , if he knew he was a great guy , things would be better ......he is too much work I think , he needs a lot of coxing and reassurence , he needs someone who is strong enough to help him , I am trying to help myself still .......


    He is right though , I did ruish things .....I cant help it , I am a passionite person , i am an artisit ......I either love something or I hate it , right away ............lmao

    hes a 33 yr old pizza delivery guy ......with no self esteem where it really counts and some health issues ......

    omg
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    I never usually am friends with those who I have dated or fucked in the past... however more and more in my life I'm finding this to be true!

    I just was really looking forward to being friends with this particular guy. I thought we had the makings of a great friendship, nothing more as he had seen both my light and shadow sides. He has now seen me - both good and evil. So I thought I had finally found someone to be really great friends with.. someone I could depend upon as a friend nothing more.

    Yet obviously the girl he is involved with now (he officially took her on as "his girl" only a week or so a go so it is a rather new relationship) has major issues with us being friends. She's like you, she doesn't believe it. She thinks I have feelings for him "in that way" still. I don't. He betrayed me. He broke my heart when he chose her over me. Yet I was really REALLY enjoying the friendship he was showing and giving me.

    Just saying that you never know what life throws at you... I didn't understand how people could be friends with those they were previously involved with until now.


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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoastGirl View Post
    I never usually am friends with those who I have dated or fucked in the past... however more and more in my life I'm finding this to be true!

    I just was really looking forward to being friends with this particular guy. I thought we had the makings of a great friendship, nothing more as he had seen both my light and shadow sides. He has now seen me - both good and evil. So I thought I had finally found someone to be really great friends with.. someone I could depend upon as a friend nothing more.

    Yet obviously the girl he is involved with now (he officially took her on as "his girl" only a week or so a go so it is a rather new relationship) has major issues with us being friends. She's like you, she doesn't believe it. She thinks I have feelings for him "in that way" still. I don't. He betrayed me. He broke my heart when he chose her over me. Yet I was really REALLY enjoying the friendship he was showing and giving me.

    Just saying that you never know what life throws at you... I didn't understand how people could be friends with those they were previously involved with until now.

    Awww , I am so sorry *hugs* Have you tried talking to this girl ??? I always have an unspoken sisterly bond with women .... if you even think its worth it now that you know how he feels .......If this chick was friendly to me I would be open I suppose .....I still wouldnt be comfy with them hanging out alone at a bar on a Friday night but other places sure ......I miss him , hes not online and I am scared to call him ....I miss him I miss him I miss him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo very much right now !!!
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Jesus Sindi. From what I've seen from you on here, you are one badass chick. Don't waste anymore time with this guy, PLEASE.

    Remember what you said and keep repeating it: It's only been 3 weeks and look how many conflicts there are.
    Last edited by BrunetteGoddess; 05-18-2008 at 09:51 PM.

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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Quote Originally Posted by BrunetteGoddess View Post
    Jesus Sindi. From what I've seen from you on here, you are one babdass chick. Don't waste anymore time with this guy, PLEASE.

    Remember what you said and keep repeating it: It's only been 3 weeks and look how many conflicts there are.

    Really ???? I called him and didnt mention anything , just said I wanted to say hi , I kept it real casual , he didnt mention anything either .....

    he had some friends over and I asked him if he wanted to let me go and he said no , then I made a joke about unless he wants to sit here and listen to me breath ( we werent really talking ) and he actually said "it wouldnt be so bad" .....that was a pretty cute thing to say ....

    OK well I am not going to chase him at all and hes not getting booty , tongue kisses or sexy/cute outfits .......I definitely give to much when I like someone , I dont like games so I do what I feel ......I guess its time to change that !?!?

    Maybe we can slow down and see what is what for a bit .....

    The ONLY reason I am thinking that I will give him this much is because I dont date around and there is NO ONE else I am interested in so at least I know I have fun with this guy and my daughter has already met him so .......

    Ok , so its back to square one with this guy , let him work for it or be gone and even with that I am thinking its generous ......ok ok ....yeah ....ok
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Another thought:

    Maybe you guys are rushing things, and he realized it with the whole

    "you like me more than I like you " and "we should slow things down"

    There seems to be no question in my mind that he likes you. So maybe just keep things very casual and fun for now. Let him make the moves for a while.

    And yes, REALLY.

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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sindi View Post
    hes a 33 yr old pizza delivery guy ......with no self esteem where it really counts and some health issues ......

    omg
    sorry dont mean to be nosy but uv mention health risks and health problems a few times. wat problems if u dont mind me asking???

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    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Jayde81 View Post
    sorry dont mean to be nosy but uv mention health risks and health problems a few times. wat problems if u dont mind me asking???

    Haha , I shouldnt say but uh its an STD .......
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sindi View Post
    Its ok , I totally get that not everyone will see things my way . Its just for my personal experiences have not been good , so if a guy i am dating has friendships that bother me , its just one more thing that will add stress ......honestly it was more who and where , like this chick clearly has a thing for him , I have never met me nor have I had the option ....and she wanted to take him to a bar on a Friday night ....thats kinda like a date, ya know ??

    I try to be open minded but that was a little much for me so soon in the relationship . I never put my foot down , I know there are exceptions , I really really do .


    I still love you Jess !!!!

    Ok, yeah I do see where that's terribly confusing. There's no real way to know wtf is going on or if she has a thing for him until you meet her. Well, even then she could BS you, but at least you'd have a chance to feel her out and try to get an idea what her motives are towards this guy. But honestly, from what I've read he is SO NOT worth your time to even consider dealing and outting yourself through this shit. Anyways, love ya too hun! Hit me up if you want to chat. xO!
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sindi View Post
    Awww , I am so sorry *hugs* Have you tried talking to this girl ??? I always have an unspoken sisterly bond with women .... if you even think its worth it now that you know how he feels .......If this chick was friendly to me I would be open I suppose .....I still wouldnt be comfy with them hanging out alone at a bar on a Friday night but other places sure ......I miss him , hes not online and I am scared to call him ....I miss him I miss him I miss him sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo very much right now !!!

    That's the thing. The guy was hiding his friendship with me from "his girl" and I forced him to come out with the fact that I was friends with him to "his girl" Sunday just past. Then it all went to hell and I've been cut out of his life now (hopefully only temporarily).

    I've chatted with his girl over the phone .. and thought I was getting somewhere.. to some kind of understanding.. when he made her cut me off. So now all I can do is give him some "breathing space" .. not contact him.. only send him a text once a week (whether he will keep it or delete it is up to him) saying how much i miss his friendship.

    As I do miss his friendship. I could never involve myself anymore with him in any other way now. He hurt and betrayed me in that respect ....and honestly? He just isn't suited to me however as a friend.. it was a better relationship between him and me.. or so I thought. He basically chose "his girl" over being friends with me in the end.

    I just wanted to be friends with him and at least "friendly" with "his girl". All I want is to meet this other woman.. his girl.. so we both can understand each other.. it's the only way.. except he chose the easy way.. the cowards way.. and just cut me out.



    I'm one of those people that does believe men and women can be JUST friends ... as I have been JUST friends with many men in my life.. nothing more.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

  22. #22
    Featured Member Sindi's Avatar
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    Default Re: New guy drama , I think its over ...

    Uh ok so now I think hes playing games , I hate to tell him but hes playing by himself .

    I called him last night just real cas , hi , how r u , ok call me tomorrow ....

    He was like oh when tomorrow ?? and I am thinking like who cares its just something you say when you get off the phone right ??

    He said he would call but I dont remember if it was before work or after work .....anyways he hasnt called yet but he read my email and didnt respond which he has NEVER ever done before .......


    I just focusing on losing my last 10lbs of baby weight so I can get back to work and make some money ........

    I am sad to lose this person from my life but I have no interest in playing games , with anyone .


    I know I will be better off and I like to think that he wont be ...so there
    Visit me on myspace , Let me know if your from SW !!!!

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