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Thread: Farting on customers

  1. #26
    Featured Member minnow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    This thread is really a gas .

    I am reminded of feature Venus Delite's fire breathing act back in the 90's( presumably puts lighter fluid in her mouth , fine sprays it out, & lights it).
    The time that a stripper "lights off" a fart (natural gas only, no lighter fluid, please) , be it on stage, or in VIP, is when I'll know that things have moved another notch "off the charts"

  2. #27
    Newbie Knotty_Girl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Lmao!

  3. #28
    Featured Member lizlizliz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Quote Originally Posted by austinatalie View Post
    I would totally fart in someone's face for $$
    5 dollars. Come over.
    Quote Originally Posted by alessandra View Post
    I like them large and cut. Sort of like strawberries.

  4. #29
    Member Makenzie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    This is somewhat of a funny thread....let me start by sayin' I'm a gassy girl! I am a vegan, and mot of the food I eat gives me gas-NO way around it (and Beano is not Vegan!).

    There are times when I'm with a regular and I will totally admit it, and most of the time they laugh.

    GET THIS: I was "fired" from the first club I worked at last year, because the manager said that becuase I farted on a customer, I intentionally wanted to piss people off and be rude, and that the owner did not want girls like that working for him.

    CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT? Yeah, that was actually the reason given. Totally humiliating.
    ~Makenzie

  5. #30
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    ^^^
    LOL. sorry to laugh but it is kinda funny getting fired for farting and totally over the top of the manager imo too.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

  6. #31
    Veteran Member dollyrocker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    I heard a story that this guy bought a nude dance on the podium at a Melbourne club and the girl farted in his face accidentially but with such force that his hair blew back. He went and complained to management that a dancer farted in his face LOL.

    OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  7. #32
    Veteran Member badpixie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    I knew a girl who accidentally farted in a customer's face during a table dance while bending over. He told her it was the greatest thing he'd ever seen and tipped her $60.

  8. #33
    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    ^^^wow that would embarrassing and thrilling all at once!




  9. #34
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    ok, who from you would now do it for me? And where can I find you? I am travelling a lot for business and I want to sniff all your farts. Also I like to see a pic from you in advance. Can you tell me where I can find one?

  10. #35
    Featured Member MsClaireVoyant's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Oh my gosh!!! This thread is SOOOO gross lol.
    I could never fart on anyone, or even in front of anyone for money or any other reason. I don't think I could fart on command even if I wanted to!
    I'm SUCH a girly girl.

  11. #36
    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Furzkissen View Post
    ok, who from you would now do it for me? And where can I find you? I am travelling a lot for business and I want to sniff all your farts. Also I like to see a pic from you in advance. Can you tell me where I can find one?
    Hahaha I'd totally do it, but I'm also unsure on how to fart on command. You can send me a private message if you want, and depending on if you're serious and not like a serial killer or anything, if you come thru my town I'd be down to fart on your face or poop on your table. LOL.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

  12. #37
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Oh. My. God.
    This thread is priceless, and of course, I just had to do my first post on a fart theme.
    Hey everyone.

    Don't think I'd ever do it, mostly because people talk and I will probably be known as that farty girl. Pointed at and everything. Do I dare? if only for the infamy?

    Although I can queef on command. Will they pay for the sound and not the smell? Somebody must know. Anyone?

    The thing is that the music is so loud, how farking loud do you have to be in order to be heard?
    I admit, sometimes I will do anger-farts. Like if there's some cheap drunken yahoo tards by the stage, yeah, I will give them a little treat their way. Fuck you and smell my fart.

    And who the hell complains to managers because some dancer tooted? What kind of wiener douchebag does that?

  13. #38
    Member delyla_blue's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    man im immature because this is hilarius to me.

  14. #39
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Quote Originally Posted by CherryBomb954 View Post
    There was this fecal-feliac dude that would come to my last club. He asked girls to fart in his face all the time and offered $20 per fart.
    What's fucked up is the guy was really into it...like a true sexual fetish.
    He also would request for girls to pull their T-bar aside and let him smell their you-know-what, and also offered upwards of $500 to watch you poop.

    I am not sure if anyone ever did it....we'd all get a good laugh when he'd come in though.
    how were these girls farting on cue? i mean its not like any of us can just command our body to fart or poop whenever we felt like it

  15. #40
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Quote Originally Posted by badpixie View Post
    I knew a girl who accidentally farted in a customer's face during a table dance while bending over. He told her it was the greatest thing he'd ever seen and tipped her $60.
    my ex used to love to watch me fart. i told my other ex about this and he started begging me to let him watch me fart too (i didnt let him, to embarrassing). guys are weird, and curious lol.

  16. #41
    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Quote Originally Posted by msonyxorb View Post
    how were these girls farting on cue? i mean its not like any of us can just command our body to fart or poop whenever we felt like it

    Actually as a kid I used to be able and swallow air in a way that would make my stomach growl and eventually fart. I know what you're thinking. I was an only child And with the poop, I'm sure you could just take a laxative or something or eat a lot of fiber and schedule if for around that special time of day LOL.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

  17. #42
    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    when i lay on the stage to do floor work and my bck has some sweat on it and i come up it sounds like a fart lol i hate that shit i wanna crawl under a rock and die lol i say " i didnt fart it was my back"lol how dumb

    lol anyway yes I would

    when i was younger one of my bosses paid me 1k 2 do number 2 on him so i did lol

  18. #43
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    For money? I can't control it! How would you even force that if you knew you'd get paid? But I can't even force a burp, and my bf can burp the whole alphabet, so maybe it's like that?

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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Quote Originally Posted by sexyjasmine View Post
    when i lay on the stage to do floor work and my bck has some sweat on it and i come up it sounds like a fart lol i hate that shit i wanna crawl under a rock and die lol i say " i didnt fart it was my back"lol how dumb

    lol anyway yes I would

    when i was younger one of my bosses paid me 1k 2 do number 2 on him so i did lol
    um your boss? Were you one of those "sexy secretaries" they advertise for on CL and underpay? 20/hr to be your "secretary"? yeah right.

  20. #45
    Veteran Member Allice's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Quote Originally Posted by indianprincess View Post
    I admit, sometimes I will do anger-farts. Like if there's some cheap drunken yahoo tards by the stage, yeah, I will give them a little treat their way. Fuck you and smell my fart.
    Ahahha!!!

  21. #46
    Veteran Member princessparis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    lol, I'm sorry but I'm surprised no one has mentioned the -look around and act like your disgusted- technique. you know... you let out a real smelly ass fart and then you kind of look around to see where it came from to insinuate that it wasn't you.... like it must've been someone else passing by or something! I do this even when me and the customer are the only two people around. It's great

  22. #47
    Featured Member Lyssa Lynn's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Quote Originally Posted by indianprincess View Post
    And who the hell complains to managers because some dancer tooted? What kind of wiener douchebag does that?
    Well when the girl is obnoxious to begin with, won't leave the table, continues to let out rancid f-ing farts...and laughs about it .. I think a customer has every right to complain.. and yes, girl be fired..

  23. #48
    Veteran Member Electrum's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    ^^ Eeeeewwww LOL well that puts it in perspective for sure...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lysondra
    I had previously stuck the bananas and cucumber in my cooter, yes.

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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Lyssa Lynn View Post
    Well when the girl is obnoxious to begin with, won't leave the table, continues to let out rancid f-ing farts...and laughs about it .. I think a customer has every right to complain.. and yes, girl be fired..
    I'm still LOLing. I think my weird, post-traumatized brain just sees these poor cumstomers, close to tears: "please, for the love of God, leave!" Girl: "NO! phhhhhhhtttt!" cumstomer: "GET! Those STINK!" Girl: "I said, NO! Phhhhhhhttttt! Bwahahahahaaha." cumstomer: "SECURITY!!!"

    Yeah I would complain too, now that I think about it.

  25. #50
    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Farting on customers

    Quote Originally Posted by Brendita View Post
    Well, it started smelling really bad at the stage, so I turned to one of the guys and said "wtf, way to stink up my stage, you ass!" all serious. His brother turned to him and was like "GROSS, Bob!"

    hahaha Poor Bob.
    ROFL! Poor Bob!

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