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Thread: A Rant: My posessive reg. (long, srry, needed to vent!)

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    Member tinydancer9494's Avatar
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    Angry A Rant: My posessive reg. (long, srry, needed to vent!)

    sigh....I'm so frustrated and angry right now and needed to vent to ladies that would understand (thank you in advance)!

    I have a regular who is pretty much at the club whenever I am, actually he's pretty much always there. He's 25, all the girls and staff know him, all their drinks get compd, and to me at least he thinks he's owns the club. When things are slow/dead it's nice to have someone to sit and chat with and on those days he buys dances here and there or just give me $ for sitting with him. Over that last two weeks he's become very clingy; I can feel the daggers in my back whenever I'm sitting with other custys and quite frankly I'm pissed off. I'm at work. Why is that such a hard concept to grasp?

    My BF asked if he could come in last night since he's never seen me dance and Sundays normally painfully slow so I was all for it. So PL reg is there, he knows I'm in a relationship and I tell him my BF is coming in tonight and I will be spending my evening with him just FYI. The fucker wouldn't leave me alone! He kept trying to rub my shoulders and grab my hand; I looked him in the eye and said "you have a total lack of respect for me and I'm done with this" Off he pouts.

    Throughout the last 2 hours of my shift he ran over and asked why my BF was tipping other girls on stage and blah blah blah. Um cuz they are working too and no one's at their stage so he's tipping them. SO WHAT?!? He made rude comments while I was on stage to the point I just ignored him because I'm not down with this pathetic drama.

    This morning I woke up and checked my myspace page and he had found me off the clubs site and wrote me a message about how he's going to write my BF and tell him all these ridiculous lies and that I'm just a slut and so on. While I'm not worried about my man because he knows me better than that I just don't get it. Hence this post. I'm so frustrated and fed up that I'm crying because I don't know what to do! And it's all just so stupid to me!

    I'm an entertainer. I sell a fantasy. Do I have any real interest in the men I spend all night talking to other than their money? No. I flirt for money, go figure dude look where you're at! What do you do when your custy blurs the line between fantasy and reality and goes ape shit crazy? I don't want to switch clubs (again) but where I'm at now is so small and this guy and his friend are seriously always there. I don't want to go to work in a hostile environment and I will not put up with his childish, rude and repulsive behavior either. It will do nothing but drain me. Sigh....I'm a psycho magnet...

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    God/dess loveandluxury's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Rant: My posessive reg. (long, srry, needed to vent!)

    First off, even though your bf seemed cool with it, I wouldn't ever recommend inviting a SO in the club while you're working. Think about it, if your bf wouldn't have come in all that stuff probably wouldn't have happened, right?

    That being said, the guy is a creep. Try avoiding him for a while and if he persists and doesn't leave you alone, one of you will need to find a new club.. and it will probably have to be you.

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    Veteran Member Morgan_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Rant: My posessive reg. (long, srry, needed to vent!)

    loveandluxury, it depends a lot on the club, but my fiance comes in about once a month or so, usually on a slow night. He knows the manager and staff and is VERY cool with things.

    In all fairness, her BF didn't start this. The asshole regular did. Would it have happened if her BF didn't come in? Probably. He would've just gotten jealous off of another customer or something like that. The guy is an insecure asshole.

    Why would you never recommend inviting a SO into the club while working? Mine never comes in on busy nights (because he knows I'll be occupied), but I work in some very slow clubs, and sometimes it's nice to just be able to kick back and relax for a few minutes. I don't introduce him to the other custies as my fiance--I just tell them he's "one of my favorite regulars" if they ask about him. I don't see why it's a problem, as long as HE doesn't cause a problem. That's our club rules about it: You can have SOs in the club as long as they don't cause a problem. If they cause a problem, they won't be allowed back in.

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    Default Re: A Rant: My posessive reg. (long, srry, needed to vent!)

    how much does this guy spend on you? is it worth the hassle? maybe you should just tell him to eff off.

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    Member tinydancer9494's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Rant: My posessive reg. (long, srry, needed to vent!)

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    how much does this guy spend on you? is it worth the hassle? maybe you should just tell him to eff off.
    Def. not enough for the mental drain it takes to deal with him lately! I would love to just go off but I'm trying to play it so it doesn't blow up on me because I love my club. Anytime I've ever had a prob the managment has had my back (something I've never had here in good ol Sin City) but with these two guy I'm not sure that would be the case because they bring ppl in and do spend money. In a new club trying to compete in Vegas I'm sure they are valued over me. Sad but true.

    Damn it....I just wanna dance!
    Last edited by tinydancer9494; 05-19-2008 at 12:17 PM. Reason: clarification

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    Default Re: A Rant: My posessive reg. (long, srry, needed to vent!)

    just distance yourself, look like your busy even if you are not if he asks then just be like oh, sorry i busy, ill be back later...

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    God/dess loveandluxury's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Rant: My posessive reg. (long, srry, needed to vent!)

    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan_TX View Post
    loveandluxury, it depends a lot on the club, but my fiance comes in about once a month or so, usually on a slow night. He knows the manager and staff and is VERY cool with things.

    In all fairness, her BF didn't start this. The asshole regular did. Would it have happened if her BF didn't come in? Probably. He would've just gotten jealous off of another customer or something like that. The guy is an insecure asshole.

    Why would you never recommend inviting a SO into the club while working? Mine never comes in on busy nights (because he knows I'll be occupied), but I work in some very slow clubs, and sometimes it's nice to just be able to kick back and relax for a few minutes. I don't introduce him to the other custies as my fiance--I just tell them he's "one of my favorite regulars" if they ask about him. I don't see why it's a problem, as long as HE doesn't cause a problem. That's our club rules about it: You can have SOs in the club as long as they don't cause a problem. If they cause a problem, they won't be allowed back in.

    I'm glad it works out for you to have him in there. A lot of clubs don't allow SO's in there while you're working. I probably said that because my husband is a jealous ass, and gets retarded when somebody even looks at me so hell would freeze over before I invited him in the club while I was working. No, it wasn't her bf's fault (or her fault) at all for that matter. I was just making a point. I hope this didn't sound bitchy, it wasn't meant to be, you're totally cool in my book and have a good point, it's just that time of the month.

    /threadjack

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    Default Re: A Rant: My posessive reg. (long, srry, needed to vent!)

    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan_TX View Post
    In all fairness, her BF didn't start this. The asshole regular did. Would it have happened if her BF didn't come in? Probably. He would've just gotten jealous off of another customer or something like that. The guy is an insecure asshole.
    The custy might be jealous of another custy but it wouldn't be effecting her personal life if her man had not come in. That's some high school drama, right there. It could be avoided by working harder at keeping work and personal life separate.

    It's very unprofessional to have SO's in the club. Most clubs have this as a rule for a reason, because purposely or inadvertently it causes problems. End of story. It does not depend on the club it depends on your degree of professionalism. Do not have your man come in again, play tetris on your phone if you're bored or something.

    Tinydancer, I would ignore the possessive regular, the money he gives it not worth the head game and it will eventually mess with your money.

    Do not bring your personal life to work, ever. That goes for telling customers too much about your life outside of the club. Focus on selling the fantasy and you'll earn more.

    Good Luck!
    Last edited by dangerousdiva; 05-19-2008 at 02:24 PM.

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    Smiley Beijing 2008 Olympic Youth Camp Handbook

    . Welcome Letter from the Director of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Youth CampLadies and Gentlemen:Thank you and your NOC for the great support to the Olympic Movement. The city of Beijing, steeped in tradition and embracing modernity, will soon have the privilege of welcoming you all to attend the Beijing 2008 Olympic Youth Camp. We deeply appreciate your participation and look forward to seeing you here this summer. Welcome to Beijing!Alongside the Games of the XXIX Olympiad, this year's Youth Camp will mark the setting of new records, adding fresh strands to the Olympic tapestry. We will for the first time be joined by young people with disabilities from the host country. At this Camp, about 500 campers from all over the world will forge common bonds with new people, exchange moving stories and witness "One World, One Dream" together.The Olympic Youth Camp grants young people the chance to come together under the Olympic flag to share their cultures, and it is a signal honour for me and my colleagues to be a part of this programme. I am certain that you, as Olympic Youth Campers, are similarly moved by great hopes and filled with great dreams. "Youth Create the Future" ?C as the future is placed in your hands, so is this camp. You are the ones tasked with deploying a youthful and vibrant spirit, which is an integral part of the Olympic Games. I believe your participation and experience in this camp shall be marked with respect for each other and forged in a sense of unity and cooperation. I know that amidst all this excitement, new friendships will be forged and new life experiences will be built.As your friends and trusty organising team, we have prepared a rich and exciting programme of camp activities sure to leave you with lasting memories. The activities will include attending the Opening ceremony of the Olympic Games; watching Olympic competitions; visiting the Great Wall, Forbidden City or experiencing other cultural activities. We are currently working towards fostering a safe and comfortable environment with the very best services, so as to ensure a rich and unique experience for everyone. Your participation and satisfaction will be our best reward.This carefully compiled handbook contains must-read information regarding the Youth Camp, which will guide you through your stay in Beijing. Please take the time to read it through carefully and come to the Camp with energy and confidence.See you all in Beijing this summer!Wang YueDirector of the Beijing 2008 Olympic Youth CampII. History and Purpose of the Olympic Youth CampThe Olympic Youth Camp (OYC), with its proud history, is an educational and cultural exchange programme under the Olympic flag for young people aged 16 to 18. The OYC began at the Stockholm 1912 Olympic Games, when King Gustav V of Sweden invited 1,500 Boy Scouts to pitch their tents near the Olympic Stadium and celebrate the Games. The two World Wars interrupted the OYC, but since the Tokyo 1964 Olympic Games, when the OYC resumed, almost every Olympic Games has hosted the OYC. According to the Olympic Charter (2004), Chapter 5, Rule 50, "With the authorization of the IOC Executive Board, the OCOG may, under its own responsibility, organize an international youth camp on the occasion of the Olympic Games."The OYC is an integral and special part of the Olympic Games with the goal to promote the Olympic spirit and provide a unique Olympic experience for young people. The OYC showcases the culture, history, and customs of the host city and country; and fosters cultural exchange and friendship among young people around the world. The OYC is of key importance to passing the Olympic spirit to future generations.III. Slogan, Goal, and Emblem of the Beijing 2008 OYC

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    Member tinydancer9494's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Rant: My posessive reg. (long, srry, needed to vent!)

    Quote Originally Posted by dangerousdiva View Post

    It's very unprofessional to have SO's in the club. Most clubs have this as a rule for a reason, because purposely or inadvertently it causes problems. End of story. It does not depend on the club it depends on your degree of professionalism. Do not have your man come in again, play tetris on your phone if you're bored or something.
    Thank you Diva! That really was a one time thing and I fully agree with you. Besides what you stated it's just uncomfortable to be there working with him there. He may be okay with/fully support my job but it is very awkward dancing for someone else with him there. Last night I danced for girls so it wasn't so weird but still....who honestly wants to see their gf giving another guy a ld?

    I keep where I live/what I drive/where I hang out all private, but whenever I get asked if I have a SO I'm honest. I'm at the point where I don't care if it tarnishes that fantasy because I'm tired of getting offered dinner, dates, and marriage proposals when I just want to do a lapdance! Story of my life! Not that it stops them tho....

    Back to my wacko reg. Is it best to just be done with and be blunt with him? He seems like the type that just needs to be cut off so he doesn't cling to some hope he has. I don't want to feel like I'm hiding all night; really I think this is just so dumb, i said it before, I just want to do my damn job!

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    Default Re: A Rant: My posessive reg. (long, srry, needed to vent!)

    I have a different kind of suggestion. Maybe you'll find it useful, maybe not.
    When I've dealt with guys like this, I usually just have to remind them that first and foremost, its thier job to pay me. Can you maybe ask him directly how much money he has on him? When you find out, make him spend it quickly and then send him packing. Why would you spend any more time on him if he doesn't have any more money for you?
    Sure, this guy's trying to be posessive but do you think you could turn it around at any point? Get really domme and remind him that paying you should be his only concern (not meddling in your personal life). You'll give him as much attention as you see fit as long as he shows you he can keep up with $$.
    I say this only because where I am, there are a lot of guys around the age of your custie (18-25) who get really competitive "bf syndrom". They literally compete with eachother for a stripper's attention and sometimes they want to try and take it too far. Dancers who are smart, see it coming and just shorten the leash until the guy can cool it and get back into a good spending habit. Sometimes this even means they give the custies certain days to come and hang out so they don't overlap (or said dancer doesn't get too burned out on a particular guy).
    As far as SO's in the club go, I'm one of the chick's who married but will never admit it in the club. It works for me. My husband (who loves strip clubs) will come visit me every once in a great while to watch me dance or buy me and the girls' drinks. We're amazing at posing as stripper/custie. The last club I worked it took at least a couple of months before anyone realised he was my husband. Again, it works for us and that's all that matters.
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

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    God/dess Elvia's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Rant: My posessive reg. (long, srry, needed to vent!)

    I'm surprised people are advising her to try to keep this guy as a customer. It really freaks me out that he found her myspace page and is threatening to tell lies to people in her personal life.

    Personally, I'd keep away from him- completely ignore him when he tries to talk to me, walk away when he comes near, etc.

    I might even print out what he sent you and take it to management. If he's going to continue following you around the club being an ass and making snarky remarks, it could seriously hurt your money, and I would let management know. This is getting to the point of harassment. I wouldn't ask to have him 86ed if he's a regular, just let them know he's harassing you and seriously compromising your earnings and turning off the other customers. They should at least be willing to back you up and let him know he should leave you alone.

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