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Thread: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

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    Veteran Member Morgan_TX's Avatar
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    Default Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    My clubs have a rule that says, "Husbands/boyfriends/significant others will be allowed in the club as long as they do not cause a problem. If they cause a problem, they will no longer be allowed in the club."

    I've met the SOs of most of my customers as they've come in a few times. Most of the time, I see them about once or twice a month. Likewise, my fiance has been into the club--he comes about once or twice a month when I've got to work and he's kid-free, usually on a slower night. I can recognize the SOs of my co-workers (and they know mine), and we generally use "boyfriend tables" (as we call them) to just kick back and take a break--the same way we'd use "safe tables".

    In 9 months of dancing, I've never seen any problems result from an SO in the club. Of course, our SOs (small club) tend to be on a first-name basis with managers and employees, and there's been a few times that I've seen them actually help out with an incident in the club (i.e., walking a girl to her car when all the employees were busy, help a drunk or disruptive customer out, etc.).

    Since I haven't seen any actual problems with SOs in the club, I'm not really familiar with WHY they're so frowned upon. Can some of you ladies enlighten me?

    Contact me for a psychic reading or spiritual advice!
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    I don't want to touch your pee-pee. And that's what you want. I guarantee you didn't approach because of my sparkling character.
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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    I think thats insane to allow SO's into the club.

    How on earth can girls work in front of their SO's? I know I couldn't.

    The potential for fights and arguments is enough for most clubs to ban it.

    What guy wants to watch his woman hustling, flirting all over guys?

    It also allows for controlling partners to keep an eye on their wife/girlfriend.

    No club should allow it IMO.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
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    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Veteran Member Morgan_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    I work in front of my SO, and it's never been a problem at the club or in our relationship. He's seen me hustle and even seen me give a LD, and it's never posed a problem. Frankly, I think it would've posed a far greater problem in our relationship if he didn't know what really went on at work. Now that he's seen it, he knows how I hustle, how I dance, how far I go, an what I do NOT do, and he's cool with it. Additionally, as a guy, he can sometimes tip me off to a big money guy in a way that even the waitresses can't--guys are less suspicious of "another customer" than they are of a waitress or dancer. There's been many times where he's sat with me and said, "Go hustle that dude over there--he's got money."

    Then again, I'm completely and totally honest with him. He knows EVERYTHING I do, even the SD-hunting I've been up to lately and the pro domme work. He hears me talk on the phone and hustle regulars to come in to the club, so he's spent a lot of time observing my hustle.

    I've just never seen it actually be a problem. And I guess what I'm saying here is that just because you think it would be a problem with your SW in your relationship... You know, every relationship is different. It might not be a problem for everyone.

    Contact me for a psychic reading or spiritual advice!
    I can contact all my exes at once by drawing a pentacle on the floor, sacrificing a ram, and shouting "Hail Satan". Convenience is a must.


    Quote Originally Posted by MissAlethea View Post
    I don't want to touch your pee-pee. And that's what you want. I guarantee you didn't approach because of my sparkling character.
    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post
    Well treat like a glass slipper. Go out and find the Prince that magnum fits.

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    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    It's primarily because of all the potential drama it can cause. Guy comes in, guy gets jealous, starts a fight. Another reason could be financial. Guy comes in, his gf/wife sits with him all night and is not selling drinks, champagne, VIPS, etc.

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    Veteran Member Morgan_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    Quote Originally Posted by virgoamm View Post
    It's primarily because of all the potential drama it can cause. Guy comes in, guy gets jealous, starts a fight. Another reason could be financial. Guy comes in, his gf/wife sits with him all night and is not selling drinks, champagne, VIPS, etc.
    I can see that, which is why all dancers at my club are sternly warned that if it DOES cause drama, their SOs will not be allowed back in the club. You're kind of expected to be responsible for your SO's behavior. If he causes problems and you get involved at ALL, you can get fined, fired, or worse.

    As for the financial aspect, eh... If some other girl is hanging with her man, that just means she's not competing with me.

    One other thing I'll point out is that a lot of times, dancers at my club show up to work when they really don't want or even NEED to be there. We're required in my club to work a minimum or 4 days per week (7 hour shifts) or else be fined. Frankly, I know I've had a few days where I went in for the sole purpose of "making my days". I didn't NEED the money (because I had already exceeded my goal) and/or I didn't want to be there (because I was sick, tired, bored, etc.), but I still had to show up so that I could make my days. I tend to skate on nights like that--as long as I make my house & tipout, I don't give a damn what I make, and because I'm not motivated to even be there, I'll sometimes just try to take it easy. That, however, has no correlation to whether my SO is there or not--it has to do with my own attitude when I go in.

    Contact me for a psychic reading or spiritual advice!
    I can contact all my exes at once by drawing a pentacle on the floor, sacrificing a ram, and shouting "Hail Satan". Convenience is a must.


    Quote Originally Posted by MissAlethea View Post
    I don't want to touch your pee-pee. And that's what you want. I guarantee you didn't approach because of my sparkling character.
    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post
    Well treat like a glass slipper. Go out and find the Prince that magnum fits.

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    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan_TX View Post
    As for the financial aspect, eh... If some other girl is hanging with her man, that just means she's not competing with me.
    No, no, no-I meant they're not helping the club make any money. Clubs make a lot of their income from drink sales, and if you're not out on the floor talking to customers, in their eyes you're not helping them make money. Same thing goes if they take cuts from your dances or VIP/Champagne rooms. See what I mean?

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    Featured Member vivianbear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    I think thats insane to allow SO's into the club.

    1) How on earth can girls work in front of their SO's? I know I couldn't.

    2) The potential for fights and arguments is enough for most clubs to ban it.

    3) What guy wants to watch his woman hustling, flirting all over guys?

    4) It also allows for controlling partners to keep an eye on their wife/girlfriend.

    5) No club should allow it IMO.
    Firstly, what you think is fine for you.

    1) I can work in front of my husband because its not just my job but its how we met. Its not like I'm hiding anything or doing anything out of the ordinary.

    2) If fights happen between couples the its up to the club to deal with it. It hardly interfers with my money. As annoying as it can be (I've never seen it happen, honestly) its really none of my business unless either party is hurting eachother openly in public.

    3) Many men enjoy watching thier wives/gfs flirt or hustle other men. It can be considered a huge turn-on. My husband happens to be one of these types. I've also met others.

    4) Women who are involved with men who want to control every aspect of thier lives are not going to be "protected" by any stupid policy in a strip club. These women need a particular kind of counciling that this industry will never provide.

    5) Fine. You can buy a bar and enforce this rule to your heart's content. When you open your own strip club, if I ever come in looking for work, I will NEVER mention to you or anyone else who my husband is or what he looks like. If you can point him out, feel free to fire me on the spot. Till then, I'll be on the floor doing my job.
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

    "Show me a hot chick and I'll show you someone who's tired of fucking her."






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    Featured Member dangerousdiva's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    I think thats insane to allow SO's into the club.

    How on earth can girls work in front of their SO's? I know I couldn't.

    The potential for fights and arguments is enough for most clubs to ban it.

    What guy wants to watch his woman hustling, flirting all over guys?

    It also allows for controlling partners to keep an eye on their wife/girlfriend.

    No club should allow it IMO.
    I completely agree!

    Quote Originally Posted by virgoamm View Post
    It's primarily because of all the potential drama it can cause. Guy comes in, guy gets jealous, starts a fight. Another reason could be financial. Guy comes in, his gf/wife sits with him all night and is not selling drinks, champagne, VIPS, etc.
    EXACTLY! Not to mention SO's coming in to sell drugs ect...

    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan_TX View Post
    Then again, I'm completely and totally honest with him. He knows EVERYTHING I do, even the SD-hunting I've been up to lately and the pro domme work. He hears me talk on the phone and hustle regulars to come in to the club, so he's spent a lot of time observing my hustle.

    I've just never seen it actually be a problem. And I guess what I'm saying here is that just because you think it would be a problem with your SW in your relationship... You know, every relationship is different. It might not be a problem for everyone.
    It's not only about the problems it can cause your relationship but the problems it causes for your coworkers and the club. Why should the club have to deal with fights between couples, that could be avoided if the SO never came in to hang out?

    It has nothing to do with honesty in a relationship. If your man really trusts you he would not need to come in to see how you work

    Work is work, not a place for guys to hang out without spending money. We have enough of those already, without lurking SO's to add to it. It's very irritating when I approach some guy and go through my spiel, only to be told, "Sorry, I'm newbiedancer's SO". Get a life and go home.

    I've been dancing for over ten years and I seen one problem after another with SO's in the club, it's a general rule for reason. If you met in the club great, but the SC is not a pick up joint for the rest of us, it's a JOB.
    Last edited by dangerousdiva; 05-19-2008 at 11:49 PM.

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    I've never seen it be good, and it has never been allowed where I worked. If you wanted your bf to come in you had to sneak around and pretend like it wasn't your bf.

    To me this makes sense. Morgan you have a cool relationship with your bf, unfortunately, that isn't always the case.

    You get the girls with crazy pimp bfs trying to make sure they hustle, or the girls who just sit around and drink. Most importantly it just isn't good to a working enviornment for most girls. I would never like to work with my bf sitting there.

    On top of that, imagine if most girls boyfriends saw something innappropriate happen that does happen quite frequently... a customer grabs your boob, etc. Most girls boyfriends would get up and punch that dude in the face, and mad drama would ensue.

    I'm glad that you and your bf have such a cool relationship but most are not. Hell even when I was dating a dj he fucked with my money BIG TIME at work. Its generally a no-no.
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Featured Member vivianbear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    Quote Originally Posted by dangerousdiva View Post
    EXACTLY! Not to mention SO's coming in to sell drugs ect...

    Work is work, not a place for guys to hang out without spending money. We have enough of those already, without lurking SO's to add to it. It's very irritating when I approach some guy and go through my spiel, only to be told, "I'm newbiedancer's SO". Get a life and go home.

    If you met in the club great, but the SC is not a pick up joint for the rest of us, it's a JOB.
    Yeah, because every stripper's bf/husband is totally a drug dealer, duh! Geeze, where do you work?
    And who says SO's don't spend money? Here, drinks cost $20 and every once in a while, my guy comes in and buys rounds for not just me but every girl in the bar on shift. He does it not just because he's nice but because he really enjoys a night in a strip bar and that's just his way. Sometimes, he brings buddies and they spend along with him. I guess here its harder to just hang out and not spend but being that its MY workplace, why wouldn't he want to be a great custie.
    You're right, strip club's aren't pick-up joints but what business of anybody's is it who's hanging out on any given night? Why micromanage everyone's personal life? This is why I typically don't tell anyone that I'm married at all. I just say my husband is my "best friend" who kinda has a crush on me.
    "SS=stripper shit, in the same spectrum as CS=customer shit, which is within the spectrum of SaS=sales shit, which is all contained in the universe of BS=bullshit." -- Jay Zeno (mod)

    "Show me a hot chick and I'll show you someone who's tired of fucking her."






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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    ^^You're lucky if you haven't worked a place with drug dealer or pimps bfs. When I started dancing, there often weren't many bouncers, so girls' biker bfs (no offense to bikers, but these were not the good sort!) were always there, acting as the stand-in bouncer. A lot of them were just annoying and troublesome instead of helpful. Different places do have different moods, but I would be so annoyed if my bf came into work.

    That being said-it's just annoying when girls use the club as a place to hang out with their bf/future bf/fbs. The big fancy place I worked a few months back was SO like that. Every other guy (including the bouncers) was some girl's 'dude' and the rest of the custies insisted they were there to date us. Moneykill.

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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    I sure as hell know that when I start dancing (yes, "when." I'm a newbie ), I'm definitely not gonna want my SO checking me out in the club. I wouldn't be able to perform worth shit!

  13. #13
    MsQwerty
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    Yeah Ive seen some drama with SOs in the club. It is a minority though, plenty do come in and its always fine. A lot of clubs dont allow it technically but will turn a blind eye so long as theyre cool and its not a problem to the dancer.
    My Sos always pop in from time to time, I like it.

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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    Quote Originally Posted by vivianbear View Post
    Yeah, because every stripper's bf/husband is totally a drug dealer, duh! Geeze, where do you work?
    .
    Of course everybodys is not. Unfortunately, too many are. You are REALLY lucky if you have not worked in a place where this is the case. Saw this all the time in NV. And bfs were not allowed in these clubs, but in a club with 200 girls and 800 customers, it's pretty hard to monitor.

    Honestly right now I bartend somewhere that is an upscale lounge and they only hire girl bartenders... our SOs are discouraged from coming in as well. It's just a buzz kill for the guys at the bar... on some level, they come in to see US, the bartenders... they don't want to know that your boyfriends are there.
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Featured Member red red red's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    I think it's just really hard to regulate with SO's are cool and which ones aren't, and to do so on a case-by-case basis makes the management look like they're playing favorites (which obviously they don't care about half the time anyway, but when normal business owners set boundaries for their employees, this is how it's done).

    There's also not really any added benefit to it for anyone. I mean, I'm sure your husband or boyfriend or whatever would love it if you could just tag along to the office and chill there all day, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea. Very few bosses would stand for that; it's a distraction. Why should your job not command the same degree of respect?
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    well if you worked at the mall, or a restaurant, or an office, it wouldnt be ok for your SO to come in just to hang out. so it shouldn't be ok in the club either.

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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    I can't believe no one has mentioned that just maybe it's not good for making money when your customer sees your SO in the club. I mean, really, Morgan, I'm glad it's all good in your club, but I cannot envision a scenario where the customers are all cool with their strippers having their B/GFs and husbands in the bar.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    Quote Originally Posted by dangerousdiva View Post



    It's not only about the problems it can cause your relationship but the problems it causes for your coworkers and the club. Why should the club have to deal with fights between couples, that could be avoided if the SO never came in to hang out?

    It has nothing to do with honesty in a relationship. If your man really trusts you he would not need to come in to see how you work
    Exactly. Im not trying to hide anything btw. My club doesn't even allow touching so what would i be trying to hide? Anyway no need for people to get all bitchy. If your man has nothing better to do than sit at your job all night good for you
    The fact is most clubs don't allow it coz it's not good business practice.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    I can't believe no one has mentioned that just maybe it's not good for making money when your customer sees your SO in the club. I mean, really, Morgan, I'm glad it's all good in your club, but I cannot envision a scenario where the customers are all cool with their strippers having their B/GFs and husbands in the bar.
    Yeh kinda would kill the fantasy for them wouldn't it?
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    Quote Originally Posted by red red red View Post
    I think it's just really hard to regulate with SO's are cool and which ones aren't...

    I'm sure your husband or boyfriend or whatever would love it if you could just tag along to the office and chill there all day, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea. Very few bosses would stand for that; it's a distraction. Why should your job not command the same degree of respect?
    There you go, the bottom line. The SOs that come in and are discrete, I don't have a problem with. The SOs that come in, cause scenes, deal drugs or use the women to deal, beat up them up before and/or after work, I don't want the motherfuckers in the door. They exist, alright, though thankfully in some clubs more than others.

    I've been the 'good' SO, steering money guys to her, making change for the guys without saying a word, seeing the lapdances and laughing about it--and then I've been the 'bad' SO, wanting to kick the living shit out of the DJs, bouncers and managers grabbing her ass all the time, etc. That would not have been a good club for me to come hang out in.
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    All my friends , my man, and even my parents stop by occasionally, but they follow my rules- don't get in my way, don't say who you are, TIP, don't get involved in anything, and for my dad, go outside when i go on stage. I keep the staff informed of who they are, but the custys dont have a clue. I only talk with them when i'm on my breaks so I don't lose money. The other dancers and the staff love my parents (ex stripper mom and ex bouncer dad, they know the ropes) and talk to them on thier breaks too, and my man loves seeing me on stage. I have seen other people bring in friends and it turn in to a problem, but I think it depends on maturity and proffesionalism. In 6 years I have never had a problem with mine but then I don't tolerate drama and wont hang with people that are. I am very open and clear on who I am and what I expect from those around me. Many young dancers are still in party mode and those are the girls that i have seen have problems.
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  22. #22
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    Only time my husband came to the club was when he was a custy... now when I mention how he used to come in and spend so much he goes "God woman! I give you my entire check now!" oh yea, but its NOT THE SAME!!

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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    I personally wouldn't be able to work in front of a SO. When I go to work, I become somebody else, as soon as I jump in the shower to get ready for work I become Anastasia. I become every man's fantasy. I'm not sitting around on the couch in sweats and a t-shirt anymore, I'm being a sex goddess. A "horny", "single", "I really want you to touch me, but I'll get in trouble so you can't touch" sex goddess.

    If my SO was in the club, or any of the customers knew my SO was in the club it would totally kill my stripper persona. I wouldn't feel like I was doing my job properly and to the best of my ability if I was distracted by my SO at my job.

    Even though a SO might be really cool about everything, I don't think he would be as cool if some a-hole customer grabbed your boob or your ass or something. Being in this business, that is bound to happen.

    I had a guy come and tip me on satellite one time and he pulled my thong out so he could see my crotch. I couldn't even control my anger, I slapped him across the face hard, and had him kicked out.. Could you imagine what kind of drama that would have caused if my SO was there to see it?

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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    My boyfriend is only allowed in the club for special occasions. Like competions, theme sets, Melonfest, ect - and even that gets a bit messy.

    The competitons he went to involved me sitting back and forth between him and my regulars, trying to keep them in the dark about who he was, and keeping the other dancers from getting pissed that he didn't want a dance, while trying to keep the manager from knowing he was there. Add that to the stress of performing and WHEW!

    On a normal night it would totally screw up my money and stress me out. And if a customer got nasty with me, I know there would be fisticuffs. If there weren't I might be a bit miffed at him. So... yeah. He belongs at home.

  25. #25
    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: Okay, starting a new thread. SOs in the club?

    My bf has come into my work twice. It was fine, he didn't get jealous or anything, but it made ME uncomfortable. I can't hit on guys when he's around! Also, I just wanted to hang out with him, and not work! So I told him no more coming into work because I won't make money anyways.

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