Teenager: Ventriloquist in a children’s hospital
College student: Magician in a mental hospital
Adult: “Muscle” one night for a dancer friend at five private parties
Teenager: Ventriloquist in a children’s hospital
College student: Magician in a mental hospital
Adult: “Muscle” one night for a dancer friend at five private parties
Vampire bride and baby killer in a haunted house in high school.
" Remember during each test there is some girl in Australia jealous of you who wants to do what you're doing."- Lilithmorrigan
" If you're young and sexy, why not spend a few years Shopping and Fucking? Life is short, but youth is shorter. Ride the wheels off, I say." - FeministStripper





^ Sophia: Awesome.





Alternative technologies technician
Because there ain't no tits on the radio





-Boy Scout Camp Wildlife Director, for 3 summers.
-Costumed character for children's birthday parties. (Batman, TMNT, etc)
-Bartender at a gay bar
-I worked at a haunted house, too. For the Jaycees. We got paid in food that was donated as a write off from companies.
waffles are just pancakes with little squares on them.
Easter bunny in a grocery store chain where I worked as a bagger - like, one of those really, really creepy Easter bunnies.




I was in charge of checking the booths at a "toy" and peep store in Elizabeth Town KY when I just turned 18. I went to Ky for the summer when school let out to hang with friends. For some reason I couldn't get a job dancing there so I had to work at this skeezy sex store. It was all truckers that came in and there were glory holes! I basically had to make sure only one person at a time went in there and that the small rooms were always stocked with a roll of paper towels. I made 4.12 an hour. I was supposed to clean the rooms nightly at 1am after our "rush". I never did and got fired because of it. I can't even imagine what the fuck those rooms looked like in the light!
I babysat a child from hell at 11. He threw random objects at me like a telephone and books. It was awful. I made a dollar an hour.
as damp as a cellar. . . all mildewy I'm as damp as a cellar. . . all mildewy

Definitely the door-to-door job I had working for an environmental organization for two weeks (which is longer than most last). It was in February and it was so cold and dark, and terrifying to knock on strangers' doors as a shy 19 year-old. On my last day I was scolded by the super-perky hippie leader that my bad attitude was bringing the rest of the group down (I was shy and I'm not super bubbly!). One of the doors I knocked on ended up being a group of punks who invited me in to drink Pabst and watch greatest hair metal videos on MTV. I already had decided that I was quitting so I accepted and hung out there until it was time to meet back with the rest of the group. It was such a relief when I didn't go back the next day.
i worked at a kiddies indoor play area in a bear suit lol
A Good Girl With Bad Intentions
^^HAHAHA CUTCO!! I almost worked for them!
I was a pizza delivery girl. Also a diner waitress for 6 years. I don't fit the description for either!
They are pretty awesome knives!! The scissors cut through coins!!
I was a relay operator for the Deaf right out of college. Fun, entertaining, very weird job. I had to speak everything the Deaf person typed, in the same tone of voice they'd use if they could speak, then give a deadpan "go ahead" and type back everything the other person said. I had fights, phone sex, crazy Deaf rednecks in jail, the works. My first day on the job happened to be September 11, 2001... THAT was intense. At the job interview I had to sit across the table from a nice-looking black lady and read out a list of things like "I wish all those fucking n*ggers would go back to fucking Africa" and "This is my fourth abortion, I hate stupid babies." Weirdest job interview ever!
I also dressed up in a horse costume once for PETA and spent the day dancing around on a busy street corner waving a big bottle of fake urine to protest Premarin. I didn't get paid for that though so it wasn't technically a job.
Oh, I also had a regular volunteer job in high school at a shelter for homeless people with AIDS. That was really rewarding, if a little sad, but my mom made me quit when I used my finger to wipe up what I thought was cranberry juice and then it turned out someone had cut himself in the kitchen. I had to get a battery of AIDS tests for a year, but fortunately I wasn't infected. Scary.
grafting grape vines
packing lunch snack packs for kids i was fired because i kept eating all the tim tams
door to door crap salesperson i only lasted 2 hours
i have had so many random crappy jobs they were just the worst




I totally forgot I sold Kirby vacuums for a total of 2 or 3 days. Worst fucking job ever. Best vacuums though.
as damp as a cellar. . . all mildewy I'm as damp as a cellar. . . all mildewy
I was a dead naked girl and food was served off my body for a wedding aniversary party. Coolest party ever.
Snake sitter, where I babysit 10 foot long snakes.
Troll under the bridge for a haunted house.
Mermaid for a casino
I've had a whole bunch, but the most random one I ever did, through a temp agency when I was living in San Francisco, was spend a few weeks going to various lookout posts throughout the city, recording the arrival and departure time of buses. All day. Truly mindnumbing.
"Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins
"I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott
I was a puppeteer for a while in high school. My puppet, through sheer coincidence, had my name.
I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth





I sold bread at a farmer's market. I met a lot of interesting people.
Truck dispatcher (that only lasted 3 months.)
Auto detailer
Amway (They are a religious cult. Seriously.)
Phone Solicitor
Delivered Phone books
Hand model
Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!
I worked for a CBS TV show called "Homework Hotline!" I was only 16 at the time and premise of the thing was that kids would call in asking for help with their homework and we would put the Really GOOD problems on the air so the teacher could work the problem for all the children to see...intriguing!
Pimp. Or, receptionist at an escort agency. Basically, pimp.
ETA: Not knocking anyone who does the receptionist thing. But it was weird, for me.
Feature costumes for sale!
I come from a rural background,
Riding horses
picking up horse poo
driving a tip truck
Digging out weeds
Tractor driving
getting naked in front of people (ha ha)
Oh and I had an office job for about three weeks before I ran out screaming from the boredom. I know someone would have loved it because it was brain numbingly easy but all I did was sort, file and mail off accounts. AAAAARGGGH!
Bookmarks