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Thread: Babysitters , how much ?!

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    Default Babysitters , how much ?!

    Ok so I was having my mom who I live with watch my daughter ONE night a week when I would go out with my boyfriend . This is becoming a problem , when I was told tonight like a little child that I can not go out for a hour or two .

    Anyways there is a 13 yr old girl across the street who has offered many times to watch my 2yr old . I do think she is a little young but my daughter adores her . The girl lives with her parents and she has 3-4 yr old brother so I think it would be a fun and safe environment for my baby . What do you think I should offer to pay her for a few hours on a Friday night ??


    I never baby sat and I have NEVER left my daughter with someone so I have no idea what to offer her . Shes 13 so I am sure she will be excited to have some extra cash and I never see her out after dark so I am sure she is available . Anyways thanks in advance for the advice ...this whole thing is stressing me out , I cant believe my mothers attitude

    She actually gave me a dirty look tonight when I said that I have to see my Boyfriend more than once a week then she goes on to tell me that she doesnt have a life , implying that I should be ok with not having one too ....

    I think she needs to be medicated ....but thats another thread .


    Also as for the baby sitter I have some pretty stricked rules so any advice on that would be helpful also ....
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    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    I started babysitting at 13. I watched 2 year old twins and a 3 month old baby. It was a lot for a young girl to handle, but they only left me for a few hours at a time and I was mature and responsible enough to handle it. PLus, my mother was hoem next door if I needed help. SO if this girl is watchign your child at her house, with her parents available just in case, I personally think it's fine. Plus she has a brother to play with yoru child, so she will have fun. I don't know that I would leave her alone all night with no help....Talk to this girls mother, how often does she babysit her own little brother, and how does she interact with him? How are her grades at school? Is she mature and very responsible?

    I would pay her $20 for the night. That's what I got paid at that age.

    I would write a list of instructions and everythign you want her to know. Like she uses this sippy cup, only put this type of juice in it, bedtime is at 7pm and here's her bedtome routine, if she's hungry, only feed her this or that, put on these pajama's ( lay them out) Just write it all out so that she has no question on how you want things done. Of course you need a phone number contact list with you cell, your mom's number, the poison control number. I would buy a chart that diagrams how to give CPR and first aid just to be safe. Let her know that when she's watching you r kid, she isnt allowed to call her friends on the phone or have anyone over. ( cause is she starts talking on the phone and gets distracted...it only takes a second for a 2 year old to get into stuff)

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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Yeah thanks ......thats actually been my problem with her before , I let them play outside and I was right inside by the window and her mother called her home and she just said to me "oh I am have to go I am just gunna leave her here" Outside by the street !!

    I never brought it up ,I just went outside and grabbed my kid and never left her alone agian .......

    My biggest rule would be that they are not allowed to take her outside , I want her in the house or on the porch but not outside and never alone . They wouldnt even have to feed her , maybe change one diaper , thats all .

    Its scary but what can I do ? I am getting to the point that I need to get out and I am about to go back to work too ........

    Another little problem is that her parents dont speak english very well so I would be worried that they didnt understand my concerns .....they are a very nice family though .

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    beauty21queen
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    I would always give my 14 yr old sister around $20-$25 bucks to babysit. Most of time though I would always take my daughter along and go to like a amusement park or something. Thats always another suggestion .

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    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Hmm..That doesnt sound like she is ready to babysit yet.

    Reminds me of a time tho, when I was about 10, I was swimming in my aunts pool playign with the neighbors baby, who was probably 1 or 2 at the time. They were sitting next to the pool watching me. For some reason, I dont knwo why...I just forgot that I needed to be holding onto the baby, and i just let her go. I guess I just forgot she couldnt swim or somethign, I dont know what I was thinking. She sank to the bottom of the pool and her mother jumped up and yelled, and suddenly I realized what I did and reached under the water and grabbed her. Everythign was fine, althoguh her parents and I were shaken up...and after that the baby wore swimmy wings when she was in the pool....

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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut_Butter View Post
    Hmm..That doesnt sound like she is ready to babysit yet.

    Reminds me of a time tho, when I was about 10, I was swimming in my aunts pool playign with the neighbors baby, who was probably 1 or 2 at the time. They were sitting next to the pool watching me. For some reason, I dont knwo why...I just forgot that I needed to be holding onto the baby, and i just let her go. I guess I just forgot she couldnt swim or somethign, I dont know what I was thinking. She sank to the bottom of the pool and her mother jumped up and yelled, and suddenly I realized what I did and reached under the water and grabbed her. Everythign was fine, althoguh her parents and I were shaken up...and after that the baby wore swimmy wings when she was in the pool....

    lol, omg , thats awful !! Funny now though . Well I know that if I said something to her like "no you cant live a baby outside alone , please bring her in before you go" she would have been embarrrseed .

    I would ask that her mother sort of baby sit with her the first few times , maybe ....this is all in the early planning stages right now so we will see . Thanks agian
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    I wouldn't leave a 2 year old alone late at night with a 13 year old. If your daughter wakes up in the night a 13 year old won't be able to handle this like an adult. IMO. It's okay I think for a few hours during normal waking hours for her to watch the kid. If you have to explain how to KEEP your child safe (take her inside, don't leave her alone) ( the obvious stuff) then YOU SHOULD NOT leave her alone.

    Pay 5 dollars an hour but again I wouldn't suggest more than 3 hours. If you have to.

    Look on craigslist or online to see if anyone is offering babysitting
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Quote Originally Posted by beauty21queen View Post
    I would always give my 14 yr old sister around $20-$25 bucks to babysit. Most of time though I would always take my daughter along and go to like a amusement park or something. Thats always another suggestion .

    Ha , well I do that once a week , the 3 of us do something together BUT I cant have her around all the time , we do need adult time , private time to get to know each other and do things that adults do ...I mean I cant even watch horror movies when she is around so there are times when mommy's need to be alone , even married moms .....
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    beauty21queen
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    ^ Yeah now im starting to remember what my lil sis would do wrong. I would have been all crazy on her if she wasn't family .So you might not want to. Once my lil sis put my daughter in her swing and didn't put the tray back on so my daughter fell out of it .Luckily she was okay but I didn't find out about that till a week later when my other 8 yr old sis told me because she was mad at my 14 yr old sis. My lil sis said "she forgot" .So you might not want to.

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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Ashley View Post
    I wouldn't leave a 2 year old alone late at night with a 13 year old. If your daughter wakes up in the night a 13 year old won't be able to handle this like an adult. IMO. It's okay I think for a few hours during normal waking hours for her to watch the kid.

    Pay 5 dollars an hour but again I wouldn't suggest more than 3 hours.

    Look on craigslist or online to see if anyone is offering babysitting

    Well as for leaving her with someone late at night , I was thinking from like 9pm to 12midnight .....and unfortunely my daughter does not sleep before than or with out me so ......

    and for craiglist I just cant leave my baby with a stranger , I know people do but I just couldnt ,ever . I might have to put her in daycare someday but ...thats about all I can handle .
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    beauty21queen
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Try to see if they have an hourly daycare in your area.

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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Quote Originally Posted by beauty21queen View Post
    ^ Yeah now im starting to remember what my lil sis would do wrong. I would have been all crazy on her if she wasn't family .So you might not want to. Once my lil sis put my daughter in her swing and didn't put the tray back on so my daughter fell out of it .Luckily she was okay but I didn't find out about that till a week later when my other 8 yr old sis told me because she was mad at my 14 yr old sis. My lil sis said "she forgot" .So you might not want to.

    nice, so you think that 13 is too young ?? My other neighbors are great with my daughter too but they work real early and are not up past 9pm .....ugh now I am stressing out .
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Quote Originally Posted by beauty21queen View Post
    Try to see if they have an hourly daycare in your area.

    See my problem is really more who my daughter would feel safe with , I know she would freak if I left her with strangers like that . Plus I dont know if I could afford that . ugh and ugh
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sindi View Post
    Well as for leaving her with someone late at night , I was thinking from like 9pm to 12midnight .....and unfortunely my daughter does not sleep before than or with out me so ......

    and for craiglist I just cant leave my baby with a stranger , I know people do but I just couldnt ,ever . I might have to put her in daycare someday but ...thats about all I can handle .
    So you'd rather leave her with an incapable 13 year old . You can run background checks on people and interview them. Yes it takes effort but its' your child's safety. It's worth the headache.

    I hate to say this but most molestations and abuse happen by family members and friends of the family, not total strangers.

    9pm -midnight WAY to late for a 13 year old. Mine can barely keep his eyes open past 10pm. Take into consideration her sleep schedule too.

    I'm sorry but I don't feel this is a good idea. I was also 13 once, watching kids to make a few bucks and the boy was 3.5 he began acting up..threw shit at me and ran out the back door. I didn't know what to do. I began chasing him and couldn't find him for 2 fucking hours. I had to enlist the help of my best friend to locate his ass. I had no business taking care of someone else when I couldn't take care of myself.
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    beauty21queen
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sindi View Post
    See my problem is really more who my daughter would feel safe with , I know she would freak if I left her with strangers like that . Plus I dont know if I could afford that . ugh and ugh
    Well they would take really good care of my 2 yr old. They charged about 6.50 an hour. We only had one thing happen (which really pissed me off and I started crying) Some 3 yr old decided to punch my daughter on the nose because he didn't want to change his diaper .They said he flung out his arms and my daughter happened to be walking right by him. I was extremely pissed .But she had been there for about a year before something happened . The same can happen anywhere where other children are around though.

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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Ashley View Post
    So you'd rather leave her with an incapable 13 year old . You can run background checks on people and interview them. Yes it takes effort but its' your child's safety. It's worth the headache.

    I hate to say this but most molestations and abuse happen by family members and friends of the family, not total strangers.

    9pm -midnight WAY to late for a 13 year old. Mine can barely keep his eyes open past 10pm. Take into consideration her sleep schedule too.

    I'm sorry but I don't feel this is a good idea. I was also 13 once, watching kids to make a few bucks and the boy was 3.5 he began acting up..threw shit at me and ran out the back door. I didn't know what to do. I began chasing him and couldn't find him for 2 fucking hours. I had to enlist the help of my best friend to locate his ass. I had no business taking care of someone else when I couldn't take care of myself.

    No I apperiacte the input I do . I personally could not leave my daughter with strangers just to go out on a date , not to mention my daughter would freak . I know she would get use to it but .....I dont want to put her through that just so I can go out with some guy .

    I guess I have to think of another option . My mother says that if I can get my daughter on a normal sleep schedule and that she will sleep for her while I am out that she will watch her . Then I suggested that she sleep in my bed so she is close to the baby , her room is at the oppisite end of the hosue and we dont have baby monitors any longer ......she looked at me like I was asking her to pull her eyes out and burn them ......she is working against me , i swear .
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    Quote Originally Posted by beauty21queen View Post
    Well they would take really good care of my 2 yr old. They charged about 6.50 an hour. We only had one thing happen (which really pissed me off and I started crying) Some 3 yr old decided to punch my daughter on the nose because he didn't want to change his diaper .They said he flung out his arms and my daughter happened to be walking right by him. I was extremely pissed .But she had been there for about a year before something happened . The same can happen anywhere where other children are around though.

    yeah I totally worry about the other kids more than I worry about the caretakers . I see the meanest kids at the park ,even the Zoo . I swear they can sense my daughter is sweet because no matter we were go some little bugger goes out of their way to be mean to my baby .....sounds crazy but I have seen it ...so I worry about everything , of course I am a mom !!
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Unfortunately I think that the others are right, looking after a kid from 9pm - midnight sounds a bit late for a girl of that age. And the parents may not be so wrapped if they have trouble getting their 4 year old to bed because there is a kid in the house that wont go to sleep if you know what i mean. Can you reschedule your dates for a sat afternoon and try the babysitting then? Until yoiu know your bf well enough to start doing sleep overs or something?

    Also, try and get her into a sleep pattern where she goes to bed at 8pm.. or even 7pm. Read some books on it or some parenting forums, seriously it will change your life!!! You will have HOURS of mommy time every single day!!! You can go hang with your bf, put her to sleep in his bed (or make a camp for her), watch movies in the lounge room (have hot n steamy sex behind the couch) and scoop her up and take her home when you want to go.

    Sorry hope that doesnt sound like a lecture or anything, but SERIOUSLY I would go nuts without my evenings to myself. And maybe your mom wouldnt mind watching her more often if it was just a matter of going to bed and being there in case your daughter woke up with a bad dream or whatever... as opposed to entertaining her into the wee hours of the morning?

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    beauty21queen
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Putting her on a sleep schedule is a great idea! I did that she would fall asleep at 8:00pm and wouldn't wake up till the morning . She was about 9 or 10 months old . I had did that because I would work sometimes and didn't want to put stress on family members. So yes I know what you are going through. My mother though never took care of my daughter but I think that was for the best because after that I never relied on anybody. I had to find my own ways if I wanted to work or go have some fun. I also never left my daughter with a stranger it kind of scares me dont know why.

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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Flick6 View Post
    Unfortunately I think that the others are right, looking after a kid from 9pm - midnight sounds a bit late for a girl of that age. And the parents may not be so wrapped if they have trouble getting their 4 year old to bed because there is a kid in the house that wont go to sleep if you know what i mean. Can you reschedule your dates for a sat afternoon and try the babysitting then? Until yoiu know your bf well enough to start doing sleep overs or something?

    Also, try and get her into a sleep pattern where she goes to bed at 8pm.. or even 7pm. Read some books on it or some parenting forums, seriously it will change your life!!! You will have HOURS of mommy time every single day!!! You can go hang with your bf, put her to sleep in his bed (or make a camp for her), watch movies in the lounge room (have hot n steamy sex behind the couch) and scoop her up and take her home when you want to go.

    Sorry hope that doesnt sound like a lecture or anything, but SERIOUSLY I would go nuts without my evenings to myself. And maybe your mom wouldnt mind watching her more often if it was just a matter of going to bed and being there in case your daughter woke up with a bad dream or whatever... as opposed to entertaining her into the wee hours of the morning?

    Mammas do need lives.

    Girl you are so right I know ! I let my daughter get on my stripper schedule because it was easier for me and it has screwed up many things . Plus she is a co sleeper and very very bonded to me so she has trouble sleeping without me ....its awful , I swear starting tomorrow morning we are getting up at a set time and she will have nap and go to bed at a "normal" hour .......I hate getting up early but if thats what it takes then so be it ...plus getting her to bed early she will be sleeping alone and that will be better for her too ......
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Quote Originally Posted by beauty21queen View Post
    Putting her on a sleep schedule is a great idea! I did that she would fall asleep at 8:00pm and wouldn't wake up till the morning . She was about 9 or 10 months old . I had did that because I would work sometimes and didn't want to put stress on family members. So yes I know what you are going through. My mother though never took care of my daughter but I think that was for the best because after that I never relied on anybody. I had to find my own ways if I wanted to work or go have some fun. I also never left my daughter with a stranger it kind of scares me dont know why.

    So who did you leave her with for 6.50 an hr ?? Was that alone time ago or what ?? That seems like a more than resonable amount to pay
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sindi View Post
    Girl you are so right I know ! I let my daughter get on my stripper schedule because it was easier for me and it has screwed up many things . Plus she is a co sleeper and very very bonded to me so she has trouble sleeping without me ....its awful , I swear starting tomorrow morning we are getting up at a set time and she will have nap and go to bed at a "normal" hour .......I hate getting up early but if thats what it takes then so be it ...plus getting her to bed early she will be sleeping alone and that will be better for her too ......
    Ahahaha yeah the getting up earlier part is NOT fun. The next step is to then train them to turn the tele on by themselves when they wake up, until mommy gets out of bed... as for the co-sleeping business, even if you get her sleeping well by laying down with her (like at 8pm) til she is asleep, heading out and being home at midnight or whatever, that could be a start... then maybe see if she can sleep on her own in the future. Even in a lil bed in your room, thats how I started with my girl when I got a bf! lol. Sex is a great motivator.
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    You said you put her on your stripper schedule, so are you dancing now?

    Sleep schedule is much needed. My youngest was the hardest, however I don't make it an option. Bed time is bed time.
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    Default Re: Babysitters , how much ?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Ashley View Post
    You said you put her on your stripper schedule, so are you dancing now?

    Sleep schedule is much needed. My youngest was the hardest, however I don't make it an option. Bed time is bed time.

    Me internal stripper schedule , I am just a night person , I eat late , i sleep in .....thats all
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flick6 View Post
    Ahahaha yeah the getting up earlier part is NOT fun. The next step is to then train them to turn the tele on by themselves when they wake up, until mommy gets out of bed... as for the co-sleeping business, even if you get her sleeping well by laying down with her (like at 8pm) til she is asleep, heading out and being home at midnight or whatever, that could be a start... then maybe see if she can sleep on her own in the future. Even in a lil bed in your room, thats how I started with my girl when I got a bf! lol. Sex is a great motivator.

    I am going to try , thats for sure . She does the TV thing , sometime I just leave it on so we wake up to NIck JR ....omg I do everything wrong...ugh , lol . Thanks xoxo
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