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Thread: Your Childbirth experience

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    Veteran Member Laylas's Avatar
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    Default Your Childbirth experience

    My ob/gyn has encouraged me to start thinking of a birth plan...and I'm a little stuck. My mom adopted my sister and I, and I have only one other friend who has gone through it (planned caesarean), so I am short on personal testimonies about what has worked (and not worked) as far as pain reduction & relaxation techniques, and even for practical stuff like what it all REALLY feels like - before, after, and during - and what you would (if anything) do different if you had to do it all over.

    Would any mamas want to share their labor stories???

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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    hold that thought when i get a min i am going to come back and post mine.

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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    When my gilfriends found out I was in labor, they brought me dinner and we watched a movie. They were nursing students and took good care of me, timed my contractions, etc. When the contractions got really bad then my ex came home and friends left.

    For a while my contractions got progressively worse, so I lay in the shower tub, turned on the shower, and let the water run over me. That helped with the pain, and I also had a bath pillow that made things a lot more comfy too.

    Then the contractions got very close, and we got to the hospital. I literally crawled in on my hands and knees becasue the baby was presenting sunny-side-up. I puked a few times. Hours later I had the epidural and felt human again (except the catheter tube for my bladder was no fun). After 2 hours of pushing, my beautiful baby was born. For the next 3 days I didn't sleep and I cried a lot. It was joyful,overwhelming, and hormonal. But my kiddo is worth it!

    ADVICE...
    Make sure, early in labor, to have a small snack and drink LOTS of water. And get plenty of rest. Labor is not easy. Get a bath pillow because it feels good to have warm water running over you while laying down in the tub. (Don't take a bath...just turn on the shower). And have a suitcase packed ahed of time should you be heading to a hospital/birthing center. If you plan on breastfeeding, you may want to bring a book aboout it with you, but you may not feel like reading after you give birth. You're going to be pooped.

    Sorry if some of this was TMI, but it is better to know what is ahead. And I should add that when my baby was born it wass miraculous. It blew my mind. Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful experience.
    Last edited by StarryEyes; 05-26-2008 at 09:49 PM.

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    Featured Member Sophia_Ashley's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    I wish I had a birthplan with my first. I was 17, totally alone in NYC..I was in a shelter for unwed mothers. IT was fucking awful. Labor? Yea way worse for me. I attended all the parenting classes prior, was active in planning...it kinda went out the window once I started contracting and realized...I wanted my mommy and I was 17. Labor lasted 2 days, water broke far too early on in the game. They should have given me a C-section. They cared more about teaching me a lesson. I pushed 4 hours, he was a forcep delivery. I was in so much pain, so scared and so fucking tired. I don't recall his first cry.. I was far too exhausted to even hold him correctly. My arms felt like fucking jelly. He weighted in at 10 lbs 4oz.

    With my second I had a full plan. Shit I interviewed DR's. I chose an epidural. I knew my second would be just as big if not larger so I chose to be induced on my due date. I started my own labor at home...when I got there I stayed in the bathroom ..going number 2... came out..they checked me. I was at 6..they broke my water..I got the epidural.. watched Tommy boy. Had my best friend ..my mother and my eldest son present. I delivered peacefully and was able to recall his first cry, alert enough to hold him and with it enough to enjoy the delivery. He weighted in at 11 lbs 8 oz.

    Im happy with the choice I made with my second. I know a lot of people are opposed to epidurals and that's fine. I do think without that I couldn't have relaxed enough to forgo a forcept delivery or get him out. I wanted to remember his birth, to see and hear it. I wanted to not scare my 5 year old. It was amazing and I don't regret it at all.

    I also don't regret the unmedicated first birth. Because of that I became a stronger woman at 17. I fought the hardest battle and ran the longest marathon. I do wish I wasn't so scared then so I could have enjoyed it. But at least now I know what it feels like etc.

    A support team is so needed. who ever they may be.

    I look at the photos and memories here on SW of home births and I tell you if I didn't have a pre existing medical condition that made it dangerous to have a child without medical aide and such around I would do it. I had gestational diabetes and I ran the risk of dying during labor or worse the kids being effected. Obviously they were huge babies. My next will def be even bigger, so I've refrained from pregnancy.
    as damp as a cellar. . . all mildewy I'm as damp as a cellar. . . all mildewy

  5. #5
    AudreyLeigh
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    I went to my weekly appointment - I was due in 3 weeks. The lady told me I was 100% effaced and 4 cm dialated. She asked if I had any contractions/cramping? "nope"

    She had me lay down and stripped my membranes and sent me to the hospital. I stood up and BAM contractions. Went to the hospital 5 minutes away.

    Get into the room and they check 6cm. 2 hours (from dr appt) im 10 cm. I then give birth. Oh, and in the process of giving birth I kicked the intern dr in the head and she went home. oops... (b*tch)

    Pretty lame. 3 hours start to finish. I have no advice except hope its quick and easy...

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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    ^^ Wow, I don't think I could've done it without an epidural. My contractions got to the point where it hurt so bad it frightened me. I remember thinking "I don't want to see hwo much worse this is going to get" and after they stuck that needle in I was so happy I wanted to order the nurses some pizza LOL!!

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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    Seeing this thread is giving me incentive to finally finish writing out my official birth story - it's been floundering in rough draft form for, well, about six weeks now! I'll be back with the full story a soon as I can. (The short version is that it was a home birth, using a birthing pool and midwives, and was the most incredible - and yes, intense - experience of my life so far.)
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

  8. #8
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    Quote Originally Posted by StarryEyes View Post
    ^^ Wow, I don't think I could've done it without an epidural. My contractions got to the point where it hurt so bad it frightened me. I remember thinking "I don't want to see hwo much worse this is going to get" and after they stuck that needle in I was so happy I wanted to order the nurses some pizza LOL!!
    Oh, they put an epidural in but I went so fast that they turned it off and it worked for maybe 30 minute of the whole thing and when I actually gave birth I was in 100% pain - which explains my kicking the dr in the head. I never want to give birth again. Wow, these threads about birth and babies are kinda making me glad Im not still due in 6 weeks! Ahhh!


    Sorry Laylas... dont mean to scare you...

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    I had two natural active births, and read heaps of books on active birthing , which is basically using gravity to help get the baby out.. so no epidurals for me. Mainly (to be honest) because ih ave issues with doctors and having giant needles stuck in my spine. I hate doctors, I didnt want one around when I was so vulnerable. I had a team of midwives assisting me at a birth center.

    I had showers and baths to deal with the pain, and I walked and walked and walked in circles around my room. I wont lie, it was the most incredibley difficult thing I have ever done, but all I had to do was endure, and I can do that. The first time especially was hard, it took over 24 hours of HARD labour before I was dilated enough to birth her. My midwife was my angel she was my sanity. My mother was around but she was juts sort of screeching hysterically for them to give me drugs so she was sent into the waiting room and I leaned on my midwife. I actually birthed my first one in the bath which was kinda cool, though unplanned.

    The second one was smaller (woohoo) and much much quicker, nearly didnt make it too the hospital (we live in the hills and I wanted to go to the same birth center). But yeah just as intense. And again my midwife was my angel. As soon as I saw her I just broke down and felt safe enough to have the baby. I think having someone there you utterly trust is so important.

    I could go on forever about the details. But I wont because it will probably bore you!!!

    I love that I birthed my babies naturally, squatting on the floor (or in the bath) as they came out, feeling that instant rush of endorphins AS SOON as they are out its finished, the pain and fear is finished. Put them straight to my breast and cuddled them for hours before they were washed (by me) or touched by anyone else.

    Whatever you do educate yourself and be happy with however it turns out. But dont be afraid of giving birth without drugs, its just a matter of time before it is finished. And if you can stay on your feet or on your knees, that makes it so much quicker and easier for the bubbs to come out. Do doctors really make women lie on bed still these days? If they do thats just retarded!!


    In summary, the hardest scariest thing I have ever done, but in a sense the easiest, because all I had to do was endure, my body did it all for me. I was just a witness, and it was also the greatest thing ever ever ever.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    God/dess VenusGoddess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    I had 2 natural births without use of drugs (no epis, etc). The first was a hospital birth and the second was a homebirth (as will be this next one). I have to say, however, that hospitals are not that thrilled with natural birth because it can "take too long". Se be aware of that.

    I have to say that the best book I could recommend on this is called "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way" by Susan McCutcheon. It is very thorough about the stages of labor and what to expect. I think a lot of women begin having problems when they feel that they do not have proper support (bf/husband/mother/doula, whatever) and they do not know the process of what their bodies are going through. This book really helped me have the birth I wanted with Makayla.

    I used the Bradley Method for my births. Unlike Lamaze, Bradley focuses on learning relaxation techniques and learning how to slow your breath for relaxing your body. Whereas Lamaze concentrates on rhythmic breathing and can actually make childbirth harder/more painful due to tensing of the body.

    I have my birth story for both stored on my other computer (which is down for the time being) but if you want to hear them, I will work on getting the computer up to get them.

    I do have to say that hot water helped me immensely. If you cannot have a water birth, then use the hospital shower often. Also, make sure you have plenty of room to move around. Hospitals like to have women labor on their backs and not move around, prefering to keep her hooked up to a monitor. You have every right not to labor this way and you need to push that. If they insist on a fetal monitor, you can compromise by allowing the monitor on for small intervals of time every _____ 30 minutes or so.

    Laboring is much easier when you allow gravity to help you. Friends raved about the birthing balls, but I didn't like them. You may also want to look into having a doula with you (they are experienced in laboring positions, etc to help) especially since this is your first baby.

    It's good you're looking into this now, because there is a ton of information out there to go through/consider/etc.

    I guess the first question would be: "When you think about laboring and delivering your child, what would you like to happen?"

    If you have any questions, etc...please let me know!

    Good luck!

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    Veteran Member Flaka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    I was given an epidural way too early because the midwife said I was too tense and she couldn't check to see how far I was dilated. I had it about 6 hours before I actually gave birth. I pushed for 45 minutes and unfortunately I ate so much the day before that I had an accident! Anyway, in the end the pain was horrific and my rectum also tore but it was all worth it in the end. I don't even remember the actual pain. I would just suggest having help at home because it can be hard to walk around and get in and out of bed b/c of the soreness. Also, when you're in the hospital, don't let them get pushy or pressure you into anything. I was a little upset with how my birth experience went b/c I didn't speak up. Good luck!! And I'm always here if you wanna ask ANY questions.

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    The 2 things I always tell mommies who are getting close to labor is to SLEEP and EAT healthy food as you get closer. I know it is hard to sleep but try. I had already been up for a few nights when I went into labor, and I also hadn't been hungry at all. God I was so wiped out.

    Anyway, I went into labor on Saturday evening. Just sort of had this crampy feeling that would come in waves (like bad PMS cramps). I watched tv and tried to sleep but it was hard. I was up all night, getting little bouts of sleep. I started getting hypothermia I guess. This is something I battled with the whole time because my body was so tired. I would be under a pile of blankets and just shaking. So I tried to take a bath but the water felt cold. I was very sad about that.

    Finally during the early afternoon on Sunday I started watching the clock and contractions seemed to be very close. I was glued to my pregnancy and delivery books and they all talked about water breaking, but mine hadn't yet (mine wouldn't break until my daughter was coming out, so I'm glad I didn't wait around for what the books said) but I just was in such intense contractions. I called one of my 3 midwives and she told my to drink some juice and walk around. That was hilarious, I could hardly move. I held onto my boyfriend and made it halfway around the house before I had to sit down again. I finally called my main midwife because I just knew that this was serious. I think the midwives were used to women calling them at the very first sign, or even at false signs, anyway, my main midwife was smarter and she could tell that I was really in the thick of it, I couldn't even speak to her when a contraction started and they were close. She also said later that she knew, "I was really in labor" because I didnt apologize for calling her on Easter Sunday (I guess I'm usually pretty polite or something). SO. She meets us down at the birth center and checks me - I'm 6 centimeters, i'm elated. She has also drawn the big old jacuzzi and lit candles and I get into the warm water. She's making me drink this gatorade stuff and tells my boyfriend to go make me a peanut butter sandwich or something. I am so happy in the water. I can't tell you. It was like, "I'm doing it, it's finally happening." It was beautiful in there and I felt warm and my baby was on the way. That lasted maybe an hour before I went into transition. I was out of the water by then and my mom was with me. She was basically my doula, and did a great job. The midwives were there to check my stats and give me silent support. I was very quiet during my labor, and introverted....they sensed that and gave me a lot of space. I really know why animals go hide when they are in labor, it's like your body is doing things you have know control over and it is all completely just a mental game to stay above the pain. It really helped me to focus on the feel of the contraction, I knew that it started off a certain way and was like a bell curve as far as pain. I knew it lasted a certain length of time, so I would watch the clock and get threw it. I was so exhausted though, I would actually sleep for the five minutes or whatever between contractions.

    When i started to push with the contractions my midwife made me get up and sit on the toilet. God I hated that. I think she thought I was so tired that I needed to use gravity to help, but it hurt so bad to be in that position. I pushed there for almost an hour. That is where my water broke. She was almost crowning and I really wanted to be in the bath, I didn't want her born over the toilet. So I hobbled back into the bath and that was instantly nicer (I mean, still hurt, but nicer) I finally felt her crowning and felt her soft little head, it hurt so bad though to push, and I'd read all the books about going slow at the end so as not to tear, but I was so done and I really couldn't do it anymore, I thought if I didn't get her out I'd like go crazy or something from the pain, so I started pushing when I wasn't even contracting, just pushing pushing pushing, and she slipped out. Floated around me in the water and her body looked so long and graceful, I picked her up and held her close and like that the pain was over.


    Haha that was really long. I did tear, and needed stitches, but whatever. I nursed her right away and slept with her between my boyfriend and me in the big, antique, four post bed in the birthing center. In the morning the midwife brought us breakfast (she'd been sleeping in the next room, she helped me go to the bathroom in the middle of the night) and she gave my newborn a bath in a big bowl and taught me how to wrap her up in a blanket like a little burrito.

    I believe that birth belongs to the mommy and so you need to do whatever makes you comfortable. That's sort of why I cannot imagine being in a hospital to do it. I wanted freedom to move around and do what I wanted. My midwives absolutely didn't treat me like a patient of theirs and I didn't ever feel scared or in danger or anything bad happening. My baby was treated so preciously. I mean, I can't imagine nursing her by candlelight in a jacuzzi with moonlight coming in the big windows at the hospital.

    It's a very special thing. Yes it hurts, but I really think that the pain makes it as monumental as it really is. I mean, you'll never forget it right?
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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    My first I was 19, went in with wanted as far as my delivery went (if possible/barring complications). I got to do it the way I wanted to.
    No pain medications, no epidural, a very small episiotomy, delivery in an upright/semi-upright position, allowed to be active during labor instead of tied to a bunch of monitors. My son was 9 lbs, labor was 22 hours with 2 hours of pushing.

    My second labor was 6 hours long with maybe 5 minutes of pushing. Again, no pain meds/epidural. We always joke my daugter was so fat she fell out, she was 10lbs.

    My third was a rough 20 hours. My daughter presented face up (worse than breech). I spent a good portion of labor on my hands and knees to relieve the presure of the back of her head on my spine during contractions. Again, no pain meds/epidural. She was 9lbs.

    I had a nurse midwife for all three. She was from England and had been delivering babies since '71. She did quite a few home deliveries over seas.



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    Quote Originally Posted by Flick6 View Post
    Do doctors really make women lie on bed still these days? If they do thats just retarded!!
    Actually yeah, in some cases. I had preeclampsia during the last month of pregnancy and was ordered to rest in bed. I had to give birth in a hospital in the event that I went into convulsions/coma. They wanted me lying down during labor (which I had to anyways b/c of the epidural) because that was safer for me and the baby...my blood pressure wouldn't skyrocket.

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    Quote Originally Posted by StarryEyes View Post
    Actually yeah, in some cases. I had preeclampsia during the last month of pregnancy and was ordered to rest in bed. I had to give birth in a hospital in the event that I went into convulsions/coma. They wanted me lying down during labor (which I had to anyways b/c of the epidural) because that was safer for me and the baby...my blood pressure wouldn't skyrocket.
    Aw I didnt mean in circumstances where it was medically advised, I 100% think you do ANYTHING to keep you/your baby safe. I meant in the old fashioned way, just because its easier to see what is going on when the "patient" is prone.

    Flaka - that sounds full on. I just wanted to say that having an accident is pretty much par for the course, no matter what the circumstances. The baby is squeezing out of a small space and its like a tube of toothpaste, everything else gets squeezed out too!

    With my first I tore a littler around my perineum and it did hurt for a while, with my second I was doing star jumps a few hours after birth, saying, "wow I can't believe how good I feel" (I was obviously delirious on hormones or something, I dont do star jumps, like ever!)
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    ^^ I tore too. Owie.

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    These stories are so interesting, you always wonder what childbirth is actually like a no mothers seem to give honest answers.
    I really like the stories of mothers who chose not to deliver in a hospital. I really don't like hospitals, I just feel there are too many germs there and when your a patient you always feel a bit out of control, like everyone knows whats going on with you except you. If I ever have a baby, (which I'm not sure I will or not,) I definately want to do it at home or in a birthing center, the stories I hear of women who have experienced births this are always so lovely and reassuring.



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  18. #18
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    Has anyone had 2 births, 1 with an epidural or other medication, and 1 natural? I would love to know the opinions on which was a better decision.

    All of these birth stories are very beautiful.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut_Butter View Post
    Has anyone had 2 births, 1 with an epidural or other medication, and 1 natural? I would love to know the opinions on which was a better decision.

    All of these birth stories are very beautiful.
    It would be interesting to compare, but I found both my births were so different, even though I followed the same plan if you know what I mean? Although that may be because I had two daddies, apparently that makes it totally different than if you had the same sperm maker both times. with the first one I had a puff of gas (not sure what its called medically) but it made me feel like I was tripping and sick so I steered clear of it after that.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Quote Originally Posted by Polekitten View Post
    These stories are so interesting, you always wonder what childbirth is actually like a no mothers seem to give honest answers.
    I really like the stories of mothers who chose not to deliver in a hospital. I really don't like hospitals, I just feel there are too many germs there and when your a patient you always feel a bit out of control, like everyone knows whats going on with you except you. If I ever have a baby, (which I'm not sure I will or not,) I definately want to do it at home or in a birthing center, the stories I hear of women who have experienced births this are always so lovely and reassuring.
    I think the best part about birthing at home is the freedom you get, the comfort, and the sense of control over your birthing choice.

    I wish I would have done a homebirth with my daughter. But, I am happy I chose it with my son and I'm just as excited for the new one due soon.

    If you remember that your body is made for birthing, and you research as much as you can about how your body does this...and you keep people around you who support the kind of birth you want...you'll have a much more relaxing and beautiful birth.

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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    I know, I haven't gotten to posting my own story yet - I will, but since we're on the subject at the moment, I had to interject this: If anyone is even remotely interested in the topic of this thread, I strongly, STRONGLY recommend checking out "The Business of Being Born".

    Watch the trailer here.

    I think it's one of the most important films to come along in quite a while. It was produced by (believe it or not) Ricki Lake, who had a disappointing/traumatic hospital birth and then went on to investigate maternity care in this country. She later had a home birth for her second child (which is included, the brave gal). She did an amazing job, I think. They managed to cover a LOT of ground and present a lot of information, though there could always be more. (And if you do want more, "Pushed" by Jennifer Block is the perfect companion book to this film; tons of recent info and very readable.)

    Polekitten, since you're leaning that direction already, you definitely should see it, even though I think the situation is quite a bit better in the UK than it is in America.
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

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    ^ Agreed. While I thought that the Business of Being Born could have been much, much better; it's definitely a start.

    I highly, highly recommend reading "Pushed" by Jennifer Block. It is one of those books that is loaded with information and will send you off searching for more, but is so well written that you won't be able to put the book down. I was absolutely infuriated by the time I got done reading that book and it is what started me on my quest to get homebirth midwifery (with CPM's) legalized in IL.

    There is so much information out there...you just have to search for it. But, you need to know what you want your birth to look like and do everything you can to research that. You CAN have the birth you want...but in order to do so, you need to become knowledgable on how to do that.

    If you have ANY questions on homebirthing, please do not hesitate to PM me.

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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    If I didn't have preeclampsia, I would have opted for a home/birthing center, but I felt safer and more secure in a hospital. Actually, it ws a good thing I was in a hospital, b/c after I gave birth I started running a fever due to an infection in my uterus (the area where the placenta separated got infected) and they had to keep me in there for 4 days total. They gave me antibiotics through an IV and sent me home after being fever-free for 24 hours. My kid was ready to go home before I was, LOL!!! I was happy to get out of there and into a routine at home.

    Geez, I had a complicated pregnancy/birth! But when I saw my baby for the first time, it was too awesome for words. Just simply miraculous. Like the whole room and heaven merged into one and I've never felt so much love before. And my little baby was just so teeny and precious.

  24. #24
    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    That looks like an amazing film RW, I'm definately going to give it a look.

    I think your right that the hospital situation is not as bad in the UK but our hosptials are over crowded and understadffed for different reasons so I think alot of the film will still be relavent.

    I'm also interested to watch this film to show to some friends of mine. Whenever we've had the girly chats about babies and giving birth I always get slated for saying I would want a home birth. My friend think that this idea is irresponsible and needlessly putting your baby at risk. People forget that child birth is a natural thing and there are women all over the world having babies constantly. I hate hospitals so much I think the stress of being there would put my baby even more at risk.

    Sorry to the OP, I'm sending this thread a bit off topic.



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    To live is to move, to move is to be alive.
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  25. #25
    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your Childbirth experience

    Am I the only one reading this like "fffuuuuuccckkkk thaaaaaaaaatttt?" I guess I wasn't cut out to be a mom. Except to dogs.

    Seriously, that sounds like the hardest thing in the world!

    ^^^

    Rose I love Anne Lamott!! Did you read Rosie yet?
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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