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Thread: I would like the truth to come out.

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default I would like the truth to come out.

    We had a major attack from the inside at the recent SFNYC and we aren't allowed to talk about it. LunarObverse was just (rightfully) crucified for breaking a pledge to send a present and yet a security breach like this happens and we're not even going to talk about it?

    Yes, it's teh interwebs. Yes, bullshit is bound to happen. Yes, integrity is a lot to expect. But I still value this place and would like to protect it. Members inviting unwanted people to private events planned OFF BOARD is a major breach. If I was ok with this level of integrity and community I'd just hang out on the somethingawful boards and invite them all to my favorite after-work hang out.

    Whomever invited the unwanted guest may have trusted him, but that was not his/her call to make. It is up to each individual woman who she chooses to trust and meet in person. With as many "stalker" issues as we've had lately, I should think (s)he would have understood that.

    Why should this be a private matter for PMs? The integrity of the entire board is at stake here. I think we should all know, going forward, who we can safely meet and who will sell us the fuck out for some petty amusement. When NYC Fest didn't fit into my plans I started seeking local NYC members out to meet with when I'm in town this week. I want to know who I can trust and who is a fucking fink. How dare anyone suggest that this is not the business of those who did not attend! We are all members of this community whether we attended a particular event or are in your private clique or whatever it takes to fit in around here.

    Obviously, I have my suspicions about who the fink is, but I could be wrong. Whichever way, I don't really give a shit. I just want to know.

    Incidentally, I'd just like to say for the record that this was supposed to be a site for strippers, industry folk and perhaps polite guests. We just wanted a place to trade tips on self-tanner, anal sex, and dealing with asshole custies in peace. It's the wannabes ("I was a stripper for like 2 months OMG!"), ass-kissers, pompous pricks, and trolls (not content with trolling the boards they've apparently moved onto live action) that are sinking this ship.
    Last edited by Dottie Rebel; 05-26-2008 at 03:36 PM.

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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    I really try to stay out of the drama, and generally out of the personal stuff in general, but I have to agree with you. Especially in that last paragraph. I want SW back, especially since having to meet the person who has harassed me online on more than one occasion was not a pleasant experience.

    I'd really like the person responsible to man/woman up and admit it. I think the reason such threads were cleaned was because it shakes stuff up so badly here that someone would do such a thing, that could have endangered us or at least our tenuous anomynity. Plenty of us here are ADULTS and strippers who have lives we don't want to mess with and not are not just wasting time on SW because we have nothing else to do but stalk people.

    ETA: I don't want this to be a 'fight thread' as was encouraged by certain blueribbon-ers who just want to see us in a tizzy for their entertainment. I just want it settled.
    Last edited by RoseLeigh; 05-26-2008 at 03:48 PM. Reason: Not trying to imply anyone in particular's guilt!

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Just so we're clear (and I'm basing this on what I read in the SFNYC thread before everything was deleted yesterday), am I correct in assessing that this is what happened:

    (nope, I'm not keeping names private, lol)

    Lonelily invited sh0t to SFNYC, with details about location/time of the ladies night

    sh0t showed up at the ladies night

    Ladies freaked out

    Lonelily joined in the freaking out, and pretended that she hadn't invited sh0t

    ?

    If so, yes, I think it's fair that people have some questions they need answered. It will be hard to keep this from being a blow-up thread, but I don't know how else the community can address these issues of trust and safety.

    *applauds Dottie for having the balls to post this*

    *prepares for the onslaught of dramz*
    Last edited by scarlett_vancouver; 05-26-2008 at 08:04 PM. Reason: cuz of the stalker issues :D

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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    ^^I was there. And yes, that is apparently what happened. I don't want blood, I'd just like some freaking responsibility to be taken.

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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    At this point it isn't just silly drama. It's a serious concern that should be made public.

    Especaily with the personal exchanges and fests that we have become so fond of. If there are people that compromise the entire groups' security because they want to have some sort of fucked up fun, it is in our best interests as a community to know where the threat exists. Covering anything controversial up as "drama" and deleting it quickly is an asinine way to deal with real problems.

    Too much of what really happens here is already in PMs, causing for mistrust and rumors to spread like wildfire. The kiss-ass atmosphere that SW has come to support hides an evil monster of PM deceit and backstabbing.

    RoseLeigh, I'd like to think that there are adults here, but lately, it just doesn't seem like it anymore.



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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    ^^Seriously. PMs are good for actual personal probs, or just trying not to take bitchery out on the innocent, but the cloak and dagger stuff...I don't even know who to trust.

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    I applaud Dottie for her superior vision of Truth. If everyone here were so forthright and honorable, this site would be a much better place. For Dottie to receive a lecture about truth, from a member without qualification for speaking to her in such a fashion, was one of the most literally repulsive things I have seen yet on this forum.

    I understand why some posts are deleted and some threads need to be cleaned up, and it's not always an easy choice to make--which stay and which go. I think this should stay, and I hope it does.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    I'm really shocked that people are taking Sh0t's word that LoneLily was the one to tell him. I would take her word FAR above anything Sh0t says, considering I have a strong feeling that he smiles when he lies and he did so when he said "They're getting me kicked out because I won't narc on you for letting me know where you all were".

    OK wait, you're going to say that you're not going to tell someone something... by saying it?! Yeah, I call bullshit. He was getting kicked out for stalker-ish behavior and telling a bouncer that he was specifically told NOT to attend these events.

    Lonelily checked her text messages and told me that she was not the one who contacted him and I am more likely to believe her over some one who prided himself on causing trouble online. Is he really that different in person? I highly doubt it.

    People speculating on it who gave up the information, who weren't there, are really just repeating information coming from the person who went somewhere he KNEW he was not welcome. He PMed me in chat trying to get me to hang out with him away from the SW group BECAUSE he wasn't welcome. His word is far more suspect than Lonelily's in my opinion.

    But I do agree with the OP. This freaked me the FUCK out that someone showed up where they should not have had the intel to find. If someone said something, even if it was a mistake, an accident, or whatever, I would much rather they come clean. But they probably won't now, because it's an issue.

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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    ^^This is why I said 'apparently'. I would never take the word of Shot over anyone, but I wish the truth was out.

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    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseLeigh View Post
    ^^This is why I said 'apparently'. I would never take the word of Shot over anyone, but I wish the truth was out.
    No offense (but whenever someone says that, the next statement is usually offensive... so it might not be able to be helped) but then you shouldn't say that the culprit should "woman" up.

    People on the private yahoo group had the information to Ladies Night as well. Men and women alike.

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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTempest View Post
    No offense (but whenever someone says that, the next statement is usually offensive... so it might not be able to be helped) but then you shouldn't say that the culprit should "woman" up.

    People on the private yahoo group had the information to Ladies Night as well. Men and women alike.
    This is true, I wasn't trying to imply that. I will change it.

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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    I'm not pointing fingers, but, there were two; excuse the term "newbs" who wanted to joing, and were let to join, yet never showed up, responded to any messages.....


    perhaps there is more than just 1 username invovled here....

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    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    I said where I was getting my information...the SFNYC thread. I'm not purporting to have inside info- I have never talked to either sh0t or Stella/Lonelily in my life.

    I posted the names because it's a personal preference of mine that things be discussed openly, without the cloak and dagger stuff.
    You are right, I apologize. I saw the name and got confused because I referred to the thread as the SW Fest thread, not the SFNYC.

    I will take down my post directed towards you because it was wrong.

  14. #14
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    I just want to say that it fucking SUCKS that NOTHING can be done on stripperweb anymore without drama and isues, and moderation stepping in to prohibit everything due to such drama. And moderation has gotten much much tighter in recent months due to the constant drama flareups. They have been forced to. The gift exchanges are under concideration of getting prohibited, and I bet they will suggest SWfests be put to a stop because nothign can be done safely and drama free anymore. That's just so fucked up. his used to be a place we could come, make real life freinds, feel safe with a lot of personal shit..and anymore..you dont know who to trust. It's such a shame, how things have changed in recent times.

    I too would like the truth to come out on this, as a former host and atendee of SWfests it's important to know who you can trust with sensitive inofrmation. When shit croses over into real life....that is NOT an area to be fucked with. That shit can ruin lives.

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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Quote Originally Posted by G-Real View Post
    I'm not pointing fingers, but, there were two; excuse the term "newbs" who wanted to joing, and were let to join, yet never showed up, responded to any messages.....


    perhaps there is more than just 1 username invovled here....
    That was more what I was referring to by 'woman up', since they were both women. Post-ladies night conjecture was that it was a plant.

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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Thank you Dottie!

    Ceously, I think that it is ridiculous that we are being asked to censor ourselves YET again. And for what? To spare Lonelilys feeling? Private information was leaked from the private group, thus compromising the safety of others... We need to have this out; regardless of how uncomfortable or awkward it makes people feel.

    Lonelily you of all people should have known better. The least that you could do is own up and/or offer an explanation.


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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTempest View Post
    You are right, I apologize. I saw the name and got confused because I referred to the thread as the SW Fest thread, not the SFNYC.

    I will take down my post directed towards you because it was wrong.
    No harm done- she's your friend, I understand.

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    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Quote Originally Posted by seraya View Post
    Thank you Dottie!

    Ceously, I think that it is ridiculous that we are being asked to censor ourselves YET again. And for what? To spare Lonelilys feeling? Private information was leaked from the private group, thus compromising the safety of others... We need to have this out; regardless of how uncomfortable or awkward it makes people feel.

    Lonelily you of all people should have known better. The least that you could do is own up and/or offer an explanation.
    I'm sorry, again, I will ask how you KNOW it was Lonelily? The private group was open to more people than just her, including newer people and frequent members of chat who could have let it SLIP for all we know.

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    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Quote Originally Posted by scarlett_vancouver View Post
    No harm done- she's your friend, I understand.
    Yes, that's true. But that's no reason to lose other friends (even people I haven't met in person) or start trouble over a mis-read.

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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTempest View Post
    He PMed me in chat trying to get me to hang out with him away from the SW group BECAUSE he wasn't welcome. His word is far more suspect than Lonelily's in my opinion.
    He asked to meet up with a few of us while in NYC... that's no secret.

    I suspected LL (for various reasons) before I was even told that it was "allegedly" her.

    I don't want this to turn into some witch hunt.. but the issue needs to be addressed.


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    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Quote Originally Posted by seraya View Post
    He asked to meet up with a few of us while in NYC... that's no secret.

    I suspected LL (for various reasons) before I was even told that it was "allegedly" her.

    I don't want this to turn into some witch hunt.. but the issue needs to be addressed.
    I'd really like to hear the reasons, not being snarky at all. And I'd like to know who alleged it was her because the only person I've heard that from so far was Sh0t, who has many reasons not to divulge his true source because that would make it useless in the future.

    Yeah Seraya, he wanted me to meet up with him in NYC too.

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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTempest View Post
    I'm sorry, again, I will ask how you KNOW it was Lonelily? The private group was open to more people than just her, including newer people and frequent members of chat who could have let it SLIP for all we know.
    I have my reasons for my suspicions and I am sure many people, including LL herself would rather I not say.

    I'm not tying to be snarky or stir up drama but I have my reasons.


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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Okay I'm going to suggest a couple of things.
    1) reasonable point. This is a community and while we haven't made blood oaths, there can be a certain amount of trust involved in things like SF and gift exchanges. We all see that, and nobody is blind to the concerns here. I don't think.
    2) Let's put it out there this way: what would you like to have happen? I mean when one says that one would like to see "responsibility taken" - what does that mean, as it pertains to this situation? I'm sure you all appreciate that a thread where you can just say anything about a member is maybe not feasible. I'm sure you also appreciate that there is a serious problem in just getting a green light on unproven accusations (because secret proof isn't real proof - if you are not inclined or able to share your proof with the class, you might as well be making it up) that, as mentioned above - could be considered pretty serious. I'm not being facetious or discouraging; I'm serious - some idea of what you want out of this would be helpful in separating the issues from the dramaz.
    3) It is possible to overestimate sources on stripperweb. Just because certain ex members (or current members) tell you that they saw an email, a posting, a PM doesn't mean it's true or that it is particularly accurate. I know everyone believes that their source is impeccable - but at least some of you are wrong.
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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTempest View Post
    Yes, that's true. But that's no reason to lose other friends (even people I haven't met in person) or start trouble over a mis-read.
    I agree.


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    Default Re: I would like the truth to come out.

    Dottie, you make a great point. LunarObverse gets a public lynching over not sending a gift, yet when someone puts others' security and safety at risk it gets swept under the rug. Although I haven't had a chance to go to a SWFest yet, I would like to one day without having to worry about someone leaking info to people who are not welcome. I'm sorry, but safety comes first. Why in the world would someone do that? It's so wrong in so many ways.

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