warning: following has to do with a subculture not widely accepted, especially on here
Ok so I have a secret to tell all of you. It has to deal with a part of my life I'm closing, but as I shut this chapter its like ending with crazy drama you wouldn't believe. And I need to get this out.
When I was 19 I got with a pimp. Ok, now, not like a Don Juan Magic whatever, a lot of pimps don't look like that. The pimps I know are very clean cut, good looking, wear gucci shoes, etc. That's their tools to get girls but I don't want to get into that. He didn't put me on the streets, I worked clubs and calls and he taught me a good game.
So, I was with this guy for 5 years on and off. I only gave him money the first few months, we fell in love, and I stopped giving him money. He had other girls come and go, breaking him off, but he played house with me. Yeah its disgusting and fucked up, but I was young and getting a lot of money so I was alone a lot and would have no one to turn to. No one understood me as well as he did.
There was one girl who was with him, still with him, and she knew everything. The girl is very pretty, not dumb (just in denial i guess) and gets money. I actually had like a conversation with her on text this morning for the first time in years. It was weird. But what was it about.......
Defending myself. These pimps hate on me SO BAD and it got to a point in my life where I couldn't even work at my home club. The club was a sancutary. I hated working in Tampa because it was almost like every girl in the club had a pimp, and my man knew them so I was watched like a hawk. I went to SC to get away.
My ex became obsessed with me and one day we got in a agrument, I kicked him out, and he broke in an hid in my closet while I was tanning. It freaked me out. I got a warrant. This girl, who has no life except for working in the club and watching girls who used to be in the game i.e. me, would repeat everything I did in my home club to her man, who would then repeat it to my ex. It was fueling his obsession. I got drunk one night with a friend, went into the club and got in her face. TOTALLY NOT ME. Now I'm a tiny thing, but that bitch was scared cause thats my club and I have some girls in there that would seriously hurt the girl if she touched me, but I was so drunk I was begging her to cause I wanted her fired. She was fueling my ex's obsession and tricking in the club.
So, I squashed it with her, it was so immature on my part but what can I say these people in this circle bring out the worst in me.
I started to hate myself. I felt like they were dragging me down. I couldn't sleep in that town. When Masters came, I didn't even work because it was infested with pimps. (I always make atleast 5 gs in a weekend during that tournament). I would see them at the gas station, see them at the food lion.... it was a constant reminder of how horrible my life was with my ex. We had STUPID money we didnt know what to do with, but I was absolutely miserable. He was a twisted fuck and did horrible shit to me. I think I have like PTSD because when 'they' came into town it triggered something where I would have panic attacks constantly
I started talking to one because I thought if I did my ex would never speak to me again. Thats a huge sign of disrespect and I figured he would find out and leave me alone. So, I'll call this dude Frankie. Frankie taught my ex everything he knows. He was his mentor. So I call up Frankie and we talked for three hours. We continued talking for weeks, he would give me good advice and I was giving him buisness ideas for him to put money into. Plus a friend and I are writing a book about 'the game' and I thought it would be good field work. Every pimp has different game. Anyway........ long story short, met up with him in NC, he got in my head and I was actually thinking about choosing up with him. He APPEARED to have his shit together, we got along great, I was extremely motivated to get some money... ok, stop before you preach: he has more shit going on than I do and I was going to get with him to elevate my status, not just give him money. I'm not dumb, just lazy. Ok....
so, I drive all the way down there and turn around. Why? He was giving directions to me and fucking a girl at the same time when I got off the interstate. did I care about that.. not really.. did I care he lied about it, HELL YES.
Frankie looked like a jackass. He freaked out when I told him I was turning around. To save face, he told all his homeboys and including my ex what was going on and then made up some bullshit about me. Nobody had any idea I was talking to him or anything. Soooooooooooo... I get an email from my ex, I forget to *67, call him and he was cool at first cause we haven't spoken in weeks... but now I'm getting phone calls again, harassing text messages, that girl and I got into it this morning... I know its so easy to just say 'dont text back'.. but my name is being dragged thru the dirt all based on lies. I was being very mature, but also sassy cause she was really trying to get at me. But we were on two huge different wave lengths, like, ok honey you want to tell me how you RESPECT this man so much who used to spend your hard earned cash on me? Yikes.
And yes, these dudes really have time on their hands to talk like this because THEY DONT HAVE JOBS. They are worse than bitches when it comes to gossiping, I swear! Sewing Circle Central. Also, its like part of their m.o. to look for girls, and watch girls in the club, its like their job so ... whatever. Ugh... I asked the girl to delete my # from his phone. I hope she did. I don't want to change it for the umpteenth time.
Ok. so I just had to get that out. If you read it, thanks.
* side note: if you read my other post in the lounge about the lawsuit, yes, he was trying to 'sqaure up' and get rid of his girls so I loaned him the money. I didn't give it to him, I just wanted to make that clear cause I am real and I don't want ppl to get the wrong idea.



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I don't even know what to say, or what I could say, or what you want people to say. Just...omg.




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