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Thread: Intimidated by groups-please help!

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    Veteran Member siliconedoll's Avatar
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    Default Intimidated by groups-please help!

    Im finding it really hard to make money at the weekends. They are our busiest nights and other dancers are doing really well but the problem is my club is in a town that is one of the most popular places for stag do's and parties and im petrified of groups!

    Its a problem thats definitely becoming worse as Im feeling so low on confidence at the moment. Its hard to explain because I know deep down Im one of the most attractive girls there but even when a group of guys are obviously interested, talking about me and trying to get eye contact I feel so embarrassed I look away and let another girl go to the table instead. Contrast this to the weeknights when we get a lot more lone guys in or pairs of businessmen etc, honestly im like a different person, like how I used to be all the time. Im confident, smiley, approach all the guys and generally strut about like Im the queen of the club!I do well and I have fun, it makes me remember why I started dancing.

    The problem is the money is not good enough to only do weeknights, I have to work weekends whether I like it or not,but theres rarely any single guys or business types then, just a lot of rowdy parties. So i need to get over my fear but I dont know how. Its so bad that even when one of my girlfriends takes me to the table and does all the talking for us I feel so awkward that I often barely speak or scurry off straight away!

    Clearly this is ridiculous and its so frustrating because I know inside I have good stripper qualities-attractive,intelligent and a good dancer but Im sorely lacking confidence which seems to be the most important aspect of our work. Sorry this has been so long, thanks for reading through it!xxx

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    Featured Member CuriousSeeker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Intimidated by groups-please help!

    Could you partner with a hustle buddy who's good with groups so that she can carry you a bit?

    Also, sometimes when I approach a group, I don't really go up to the group as a whole so that the gang can all make comments at once. Sometimes I'll walk up the aisle so that I'm behind their chairs, and then come up on one guy - usually one on the end, or one who seems like a comfortable connection with me - and ask to sit in his lap. I keep eye contact with him, and lean forward to talk right into his ear. Sometimes I'll have my back to the rest of the group, if they're rowdy.

    As an aside, it seems the primary issue isn't these groups, but taking a look at what's triggering such low confidence at this point.
    "Don't piss off a motivated stripper."


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    Veteran Member thelovelylenee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Intimidated by groups-please help!

    lol if it makes you feel any better i have this issue too groups egh! i feel like a piece of meat ....couples also...thought i was the only one!!

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    Default Re: Intimidated by groups-please help!

    Quote Originally Posted by siliconedoll View Post
    Contrast this to the weeknights when we get a lot more lone guys in or pairs of businessmen etc, honestly im like a different person, like how I used to be all the time. Im confident, smiley, approach all the guys and generally strut about like Im the queen of the club!I do well and I have fun, it makes me remember why I started dancing.
    I'm the same way! But the weeknights are still good for me, so I've been working them. But I'm gonna start working weekends again. I need some help with this too! Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed when the entire club is full of groups of young guys. I like the single old ones! I feel a lot more confident with older men, and they're easier to talk to.

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    Default Re: Intimidated by groups-please help!

    deleted.
    Last edited by Brendita; 10-13-2008 at 03:17 AM.

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    Featured Member CuriousSeeker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Intimidated by groups-please help!

    I've noticed that people feel more comfortable being rude on a crowded weekend night than on a slower weekday, which is one reason why I prefer the weekdays.
    "Don't piss off a motivated stripper."


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    Featured Member exotica268's Avatar
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    Default Re: Intimidated by groups-please help!

    I'm exactly the way you are. I don't even like approaching 2 guys, let alone a group of them. I don't even like being with other girls who are talking to the same guy. It's not that I don't like the girls...I just feel uncomfy. I work daytime, tho, so I don't have too much of a prob. Maybe learn to find that one guy in a group who doesn't feel like he belongs...you know, the quiet dorkier one? Convince him that he'll have a great time away from the group in private with you. He'll prolly thank you for both taking him out of an awkward situation and making him the envy of his friends!

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    Featured Member Ava Jadore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Intimidated by groups-please help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Brendita View Post
    I have horrible anxiety and I have a hard time with a crowded club, also. I just suck it up and JUST DO IT! Don't think about it! Walk out onto the floor and without thinking about it, go right up to a group and start talking. It's too late to back out at that point. Sure, it's scary, but over analyzing it will only make it harder!
    This is so true. I overthink things WAAAAY too much. All my best nights are nights where I don't over analyze things. Just keep it simple .
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    Default Re: Intimidated by groups-please help!

    I definately had a big anxiety problem with this tonight too. My club is so loud that you can only talk to one person at a time, so if you go up to a group you're forced to single out one person to talk to, and not to the rest. And that's kinda scary/awkward!


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    Senior Member Fahren's Avatar
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    Default Re: Intimidated by groups-please help!

    I get so scared of groups too, because if one rejects you -pretty much 9 out of 10 the others will too.

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    Veteran Member siliconedoll's Avatar
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    Default Re: Intimidated by groups-please help!

    Im so glad im not the only one! Its true i do spend way too much time thinking about it and end up driving myself crazy. This weekend I managed to find some confidence from somewhere and just went for it on fri night, ended up being one of the top earners I think. Didnt go nearly as well on Sat, barely spoke to anyone but at least I have some hope again

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    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: Intimidated by groups-please help!

    I also hate groups or more than one guy. Sometimes though, I'll force myself to go over and just target one guy...easier if I just got off stage and one of the group members tipped me. If it's two guys, I'll grab another dancer and go over with her and for a group, I'd rather go over with a few dancers and "gang up" on them. I just pretty much suck it up and go over in the long run. What's the worst that happens? I never spend more than a few minutes with a group normally and if I get rejected, at least I know that I tried and move on, you know?

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