Me and my husband had a long, heart to heart talk last night about everything, and the final conclusion was that I will not be dancing any more.
The fucked up part is, even though I have no idea what I am gonna do for work next, I actually feel RELIEVED AND LIBERATED that I don't have to go back to the club.
It was getting to the point where I would get sick to my stomach and on the verge of puking even thinking about walking back through those doors.
Just knowing what I'd be facing.....the rude, broke customers, the constant sneering and hating from the other dancers, getting no tips or even being acknowledged on stage, fending off people trying to finger me, lick my nipples, touch my face......just....everything.
And don't forget after putting up with all this, walking out with a less-than satisfactory amount of compensation.
Last Friday I walked out with 8 DOLLARS. That is NOT acceptable. That's not even minimum wage, that's not even enough to survive on.
Oh what's one bad night, right? No....this was happening all the time.
I am not cut out for the business....I realize it and accept it. I just thank god it only took me a year to come to that conclusion and I didn't get "stuck" like so many people I know have. My husband has been very supportive of me the past year, but he said he just can't take it anymore. The coming home crying, being tired/hungover all the time, the way my self esteem suffers for days after some asshole picking apart my tattoo or the size of my breasts....
More than anything, getting myself hyped up and thinking positive, all to be broke down.
Think positive, think positive, think positive....it's your attitude....you need to smile....all pieces of advice I have recieved from not only SW but friends and co-workers. And I have followed, but unfortunately for this girl it hasn't done shit.
For some of us, it takes a little more than just a positive attitude to succeed in stripping.
I am just not emotionally, mentally, or physically able to do this job anymore.
With that said, I give mad, mad props to you gals out there who are still pulling in a couple hundred to a grand a night, even through this bad economical time and the new breed of monsters (customers) it is creating.



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i wouldnt be able to live on a "normal" job and its not bc i have a bunch of extravagant stuff. my rent is pretty high and i live alone.
I think it's just being part of a community (like SW) for so long that you get to know people and notice when SWers transition into other things.
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