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Thread: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

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    Veteran Member DirtyLittleSecret's Avatar
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    Default Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    I havent posted in forever but you all are so good at this stuff so im seeking your wisdom. (SIDENOTE: I no longer dance since i became a mommy.)

    ANYWAY, I cut my hair super short about a month ago cause i found myself just throwing it in a pony tail and having little to no time to style it anymore. I paniced and cried for 2 days after doing it and now im still struggling to feel "girlie". I automatically feel the need to do my make up to feel femine. But even when i do my best makeup, i still find myself feeling....less sexy. Like i "lost it" when my hair came off. Im not saying short hair isnt sexy, i always admired it. Im just having a hard time finding the balance.

    How do you short hair girls do it? What makes you still feel girly? Any advise or anything would be highly appreciated.

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    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    I just cut mine short May 1st. I feel feminine because all the attention goes straight to my eyes. Short hair can make the eyes seems bigger and chin seem smaller.

    I'm attracting different guys. It's cool though. The ones I attract seem to be more successful and less hiphop-trendy (which I don't like anyways).

    Is the cut your have flattering to your face shape?

    If you really feel too boyish. Wear big earrings - like hoops! And add a couple more coats of mascara or add liner.

  3. #3
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    I suffered a bad haircut in February and had to have my hair cut short. It was waist-length, thick, and wavy and beautiful, and when I lost my hair I lost everything that made me feel sexy and feminine. I'm getting used to it and I think I pass for cute now, but definitely not sexy. Doing makeup does help, and wearing skirts, dresses, and jewelry.

    I don't have any other advice, just wanted you to know you're not alone. Don't let people tell you it's stupid to feel that way, or "it's just hair, it'll grow back." You have every right to feel the way you do, but also keep in mind that it probably does still look cute and you will get used to it as it grows out a bit.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    i have always had short hair, so i cant help you, i never got the long hair equals sex kitten feeling that some girls have. i feel sexy with short hair, when it gets longer then chin length it gets really annoying and i want to shave my head lol

    also i vote for pics.

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    Veteran Member DirtyLittleSecret's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    i have always had short hair, so i cant help you, i never got the long hair equals sex kitten feeling that some girls have. i feel sexy with short hair, when it gets longer then chin length it gets really annoying and i want to shave my head lol

    also i vote for pics.
    If you give me a clue on how to post a pic i gladly will. By the way, i love your hair.


    I try wearing girlie things but kinda feel silly. I dont know why. Like yesterday i wore a skirt and i felt strangly uncomfortable. Which is wierd cause i AM really girlie and love skirts. I find myself more self-consious now.

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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    I don't think I can be of much help since I never felt unfeminine or insecure with short hair... Maybe it's because I've always thought my hair as an accessory than an asset. Like, I think my smile, my collar bones, shoulders and my legs are sexy and girly, not so much my hair.

    I love playing with color. I currently have deep auburn hair with near hot pink peekaboo highlights. I have a bob and I like to use my flat iron to give volume and a little wave on the ends. Basically, I like edgey color combined with conservative style... I wear a lot of sun dreses this time of year and use a lot of bright color in my wardrobe or accessorizing. My platform wedges make me feel sexy- plus they're super comfy...

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    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    ^^^ It helps to feign confidence at first. I had to take a full day off from work to settle into my hair. I don't think this was normal behavior but I had to in order to feel comfortable.

    Now I also eat differently (no grain and definitely nothing that might cause a breakout) because there's no hiding. I know, this isn't normal either but grain isn't even necessary. Plus it makes my face puffier.

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    Veteran Member DirtyLittleSecret's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    Quote Originally Posted by ahmeerah View Post
    ^^^ It helps to feign confidence at first. I had to take a full day off from work to settle into my hair. I don't think this was normal behavior but I had to in order to feel comfortable.

    Now I also eat differently (no grain and definitely nothing that might cause a breakout) because there's no hiding. I know, this isn't normal either but grain isn't even necessary. Plus it makes my face puffier.
    Its funny how you mentioned that. I too have noticed almost every pore on my face now and im in amazment. It really makes you open your eyes to skin care (which i never really payed that much attention to previously)
    It took me 2 days of crying panic attacks in the bathroom to kinda "settle" the aftershock. Now i accept it and im trying to work with it. I just find myself more self-consious and unsure.

    Thank you girls sooooooo much for your words and everything. Hearing another person persepctive is really helpful.

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    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    1 other thing I did, I got REALLY nitpicky about my eyebrows. Fortunately, there's a woman down the street who's gifted with shaping brows to make eyes pop.

    You'll be fine!

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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    I'd use some hot or velcro rollers particularly around the crown area. You could also do some backcombing for added volume in that area.

    And like Mia said try some color or highlights to it. A lot of people are also doing the slick bob look now with fringe. Kind of like the asian lady in the George Michael's video "I want your Sex" from the 80's. *purrs*
    Last edited by greenidlady1; 06-04-2008 at 04:42 PM.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    watch v for vendetta, natalie portman pulls off sexy with a shaved head easy, so i am sure you can with short hair.
    just go to post advanced when you go to post click add attachements and select your pic, and there you go!

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    A bob similiar to this but longer with a little less fringe would be sexy.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    Ohhh, like this one. I'm really into hair today, I missed school, can you tell? lol

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    I go back and forth between short and long hair. I've been wearing it short for the last year plus, and I feel great about it! I like to do stuff like wear pretty barrettes to feel more girly. But maybe you have yours much shorter than mine?

    Attached pics were taken a minute ago.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  15. #15
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    ^^^ So cute on you! You look like Sally Field.

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    Featured Member exotica17's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    Although most people equate long hair with sexy, I equate long hair with fussiness and confinement, not pure sexiness. It takes a confident woman to wear short hair, and confidence is sexy. I think a lot of girls tend to hide under long hair, and it totally weighs down a pretty face or cute body. Short hair is way more versatile than long hair and can definitely be undeniably sexy. Look at the flapper girls from the 20's! There is even a website dedicated to bob haircuts. Long hair can be very pretty and sexy, but I find that short hair is sexier. That being said, I can still understand exactly where you are coming from. If you have had long hair for a while, it can almost feel as if you've lost a limb after it's cut. But thankfully, hair can grow back! For the time being, have fun with it, and remember the flappers!

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    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    Quote Originally Posted by exotica17 View Post
    I think a lot of girls tend to hide under long hair, and it totally weighs down a pretty face or cute body. Short hair is way more versatile than long hair and can definitely be undeniably sexy.
    I agree. Short hair can give the face a lift/boost. Expecially if you add some highlights. Short hair can make girls stand out in a really good way I think.

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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    I've had my hair short a few times and loved it but when I decided to go short again recently I was oddly insecure about it. I felt like a little girl and not sexy at all. This is what I did that helped:

    -colored it from auburn to dark brown (instantly liked it after this, it looks much sleeker and sophisticated)
    -asked my stylist to show me different ways of styling it and bought some really good product (this was the first time I had ever bought "good" styling products, and it was well worth the money)
    -wore (still wear) lots of big, dangley earrings and boatneck tops to show off my newly exposed neck

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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    1 word... ACCESSORIES!!!! having short hair is all about fun accessories and finding the right products to style it properly. Mine is super short all around the back/sides & spiked up softly so it stays in place but still feels like bird feathers and is super-pliable... an assortment of cute headbands sets off the front of my hair, which is longer (kinda like i.breathe.in's) in front) and occasionally i'll use clips in front... but i straighten the front and slick the ends down into little pixie points around my ears. +1 on earrings.
    I just posted this in the hair thread but I'll put it up here for a bit...

    (i took this right after i got it cut... i believe i went into the bathroom and chopped another 1/2 inch into the front long-ish area because i thought the front pieces extended too far back. it was a student cut. i'm cheap. .... it looks better now.)
    Last edited by ColetteCalahan; 06-13-2008 at 12:31 PM.

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    Veteran Member DirtyLittleSecret's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    Here's the cut i went for....


    Here's my hair....


    Sorry you cant really see much of it but I always end up tieing it back cause of a "poof" that i cant seem to tame. My hair is thick and i dont think she thinned it enough. So i feel as if i have an afro. I had her cut bangs, only to end up not liking them. But luckily they were long enough to just push back and blend in or bring out when i feel like it.
    Looking back, i should have went somewhere else. The hairstylist works with mainly old women (you know, big hair, granny-short and rollers) so im not suprised my hair is "big".
    Today im going to stop in a "walk-in" salon and see if they can fix it to my liking. Im actually considering going shorter, kinda pixie-ish, kinda "twiggy"....or at least closer ot my head. No "poof" afro thing.

    But anyway, thanks ladies. I love all your tips and everything. You ladies are amazing!

    If its not to much to ask you fellow short-haired ladies, how has your makeup changed? I cant seem to find a happy medium there either. I tend to do to much, which would have been fine with long hair. But if i go "natural" looking i feel naked and bland. Any ideas here would be such a help.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    you have almost the same cut i used to have. take a small barel curling iron and curl op all the back hairspray, and lighty brush out. use some pomade on the front, then you will get this look (if you like it.)



    i went even shorter then that before. heres super short and the style i described. play around with it!
    Last edited by i.breathe.in; 06-16-2008 at 05:25 PM.

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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    ^ hot!

    i keep my hair short (need to cut it soon actually) but i don't really feel the need to "feel girlie" so it isn't a problem for me.

    femininity isn't in hair length anyway, imo.

    maybe you just don't like yourself with short hair? that's perfectly fine. maybe you just feel sexier with longer hair? i'm exactly the opposite. i used to have hair past my waist (many many years ago) and i never felt "really sexy" till i finally chopped it.

    it's all about what -you- like on you. so, if you feel uncomfortable, grow it out again.

  23. #23
    Veteran Member DirtyLittleSecret's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    Im definatly going to see if another hairstylist can cut it shorter and less "afro". I love having short hair and i think i do pull it off (i have the lucky wear-any-hairstyle oval face). Once i tweek it to something more "me" i'll probably be more happy.
    Im also stopping at a makeup counter and asking for help. I STILL cant fiigure out how to wear makeup w/ short hair without looking "cheesy" or "overdone".
    This should finally get me out of my "funk" and let me see the "sexy" in me again.

    I AM learning that "sexy" isnt hair. I use to. But when ya take it all off you come to relize YOUR still there and hair is just an accessory (like many of you had told me). Thanks LADIES! I love this site even more now.

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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    Quote Originally Posted by i.breathe.in View Post
    you have almost the same cut i used to have. take a small barel curling iron and curl op all the back hairspray, and lighty brush out. use some pomade on the front, then you will get this look (if you like it.)



    i went even shorter then that before. heres super short and the style i described. play around with it!
    *picks tongue up off floor*

    wow... other than drooling on the rug, those are some awesome tips. If I ever go the bang route, I will have to try this... thanks!

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    Default Re: Short hair and still feeling "Girlie"

    Quote Originally Posted by DirtyLittleSecret View Post
    If its not to much to ask you fellow short-haired ladies, how has your makeup changed? I cant seem to find a happy medium there either. I tend to do to much, which would have been fine with long hair. But if i go "natural" looking i feel naked and bland. Any ideas here would be such a help.

    Like ahmeerah said, I concentrate on my skin more... because I have bright colors in my hair I tend to keep my makeup soft. I wear concealer and MAC's mineral makeup to make my skin look flawless, my brows and liner are permanant so I don't have to worry about them- they're constantly on, a sheer, shimmery eyeshadow that I blend from lashes to brows, I like a lot of thickening mascara, a lightly colored lip plumping lipgloss, bronzer and a sheer, bright pink blush.

    When my hair was a more natural hue I wore a little more eye makeup... just a neutral flesh tone in the crease to give a little contour and I liked using MAC's fluidline to get that vampy liquid liner look. I also liked more color on my lips... I wore anything from a deep fuschia, rich plum browns, and deep reds... I always wear bronzer but my blush was muted instead of the 'pop' of color I use now.

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