And I really, really don't want to. I was supposed to be done dancing forever, and I was happy about that. but my student loan didnt go through as expected and unless $5,000 falls into my lap by Friday, I gotta go to work. Not only go to work, but I have to make about 5 grand in 3 days. Pressure much??
I haven't danced in a few months, and I am beyond finished. The job descrption makes me ill to think about. Socialize with losers for hours at a time? Not only talk to them, but pretend I'm actually interested in them without gagging? Show them my breasts when they don't even deserve to look at my toenails? Well..with that attitude, of course I won't make money. But there isn't even a thrill of making money because I have an eviction notice on my door and cars that are 3 monhts behind. Thats what I get for not working for months. I am actually incapable of doing this job any longer. I used to be the girl who never drank at work. ever. Now I cant even getthrough a shift without a nice buzz. Last time I worked, I got too druink, sat at the bar all night and then left early. I talked to 1 guy. I just can't bring myself to do it.
And you know how I've said I dont deal with pressue well? The pressure of needing to work or lose my apartment and car...well, that's some serious pressure. I can't function under pressure. I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know how I'm going to be able to do this....and I'm scared.
I was so happy to be released from the stress of dancing, and now that it's back, already I can barely function, just knowing what's comming tomorrow. I honestly don't know how I will manage to get out of bed tomorrow, eat, shower, put on stripper makeup (do I remember how even?) How am I going to manage to even get to work..let alone do a good enough job to make decent money?
Help!!! How do I find my stripper mindset? I only need it back for a few days and it's gotta be locked in my brain somewhere. Like riding a bike, right?


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We could motivate each other. You could always come try my club for a night, your 1st 14 house fees are free, that might take some pressure off.


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