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Thread: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

  1. #1
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    I take my dog to the dog park every day to play, and a lot of people have commented to me that I seem mean or too strict on my dog.
    Why? Because I do not allow him to run up and down the fence and bark. I do not allow him to bark at passing dogs. I don't allow him to jump on people comming in to the park.
    People will sa to me, " why don't you just let him bark? He's just saying hello"
    That's not true though. It's an annoying constant bark that agitates other dogs and that can cause fights. If he's just barkign a little because he's playing, that's fine. I also got a comment because I didnt allow him to run up and down the fence barking at other dogs. I think it's annoyign bad behavior and I stop it. But people think I'm mean cause I don't allow him to get away with it. I also when we go into the park, I make him sit down calmly before we enter. I got commented on because of that. " he's just excited. Let him go!" Yes, he is excited. And when you put a dog full of excited energy into a park with 15 other dogs, fights can break out. So I want him calm first. Plus, it reminds him that I am the boss, and he needs to listen. As a result of all this, when a fight does break out between other dogs, my dog knows to stay out of it. When I call him, he comes to me right away. When it's time to go, he leaves without a fight. he is better behaved than most dogs at the park.

    But now I'm starting to doubt myself and wonder if "dogs will be dogs" and I am to strict or mean. I never ever hit him or even yell at him. When he's barking, all I hve to say is " Quiet!" and he will shut up. I'm never mean to my dog...so why do peope think I am because I don't let him act up like all the other dogs. Peple think my dog being obedient is a bad thing?

    Am I wrong? Or should I just be letting him run around with no rules and no obedience at the park? Is the dog park a place where all bets are off and dogs aren't supposed to listen to their owners? A place to just run wild?

  2. #2
    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    I love dog owners like you.

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    Veteran Member Bellona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    me too

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    Based on those things, I would say no. I think it is perfectly dog friendly to train your dog to be a quiet dog and sitting quietly before fun time is a perfectly normal training technique.

    Do you sound "mean" when you are correcting him? I admit that I do look askance when people yell at their dogs (in part because it is so much better to train them to respond to a quiet voice) constantly; but I was a new to dog training once and understand how sometimes "firm" seems to mean "loud".
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    Except for physical punishment, denial of nourishment, or neglect, it's not possible to be "too mean to a dog." You are doing everything VERY well. People who let their dogs run wild usually have poorly behaved dogs...I see it all the time at the dog park where I take my dog.

    KEEP IT UP. Everything you are doing is good.

  6. #6
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    ^ no. At the park, the commands he hears are " down" "quiet" and
    "come here".

    I am firm, but not sharp, not loud, and not mean sounding. It isn't nesessay for me to sound mean, because I haven't lost my temper with him because he listens well. But I do correct him quickly. If he starts running toward the fence, I know what's comming and I stop him before it happens, or as soon as. I don't give him a second to get away with it. I don't take my eye off him at the park, and I am always close by so I can correct him as soon as possible. So maybe that's where the strict part comes in. I am on his ass in an instant. But no, I don't sound mean or loud.

    I think it's just that most peopel just check out. they sit on the benches and ignore their dogs and let them run around like crazy, while I am always standing, with my eye on him, watching his every move and interaction. When I need to step in, I'm there quick.

    But..I love my dog, I don't want anyone to think I am mean to him because I'm not I spend more time with him than most people spend with their animals and it hurts me feeligns for people to think I am mistreating him, because I would never.

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    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    i actually really hate people that don't do these things. I think its the most obnoxious thing in the world when you go to someone's house and their giant 100+ pound beast jumps and paws at you while the owners look on. grrr, makes me angry just thinking about it when i get paw prints on my clothes and they just shrug it off. yes. i wish there were more dog owners like you. i trained my dogs to be polite to people, and to not jump or beg when there's food around. i think trained dogs are happier, like children they need discipline and a routine, they're still having fun thou. so don't listen to these people they just don't know any better
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Featured Member R-209's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    If only people would make their children behave as well in public places.

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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    I wish I had this control of my dog. I was expecting to read something about hitting the animal or something...I don't thing what you're doing is mean at all. I love people like you.

    I yell at my dog from down stairs to shut up. I don't think thats mean either. They're used to hearing my dads low voice as their command, the only way I've found power enough to get them to listen is to shout, big deal.

    How'd you teach your dog to behave so well? What breed is it?

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    God/dess Lexi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    Thats pretty much what I do to my dogs. I dont hit them either, but I am pretty strict when it comes to approaching other dogs, or barking and being crazed.

    I think you are doing fine.

  11. #11
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    Quote Originally Posted by Joplin View Post
    I yell at my dog from down stairs to shut up. I don't think thats mean either. They're used to hearing my dads low voice as their command, the only way I've found power enough to get them to listen is to shout, big deal.
    Well, I'm not sure you're hurting the dog, but the "big deal" from the training perspective is that you are training him to only respond to yelling, and most people prefer the dog to respond to a quietly spoken command rather than having to yell at it. The more irritated I get with my dog's, the quieter, until we are dealing only in hand gestures. Actually training your dog to gestures is an excellent bonding exercise. I realized that when I had a deaf dog in the house, and I trained my other dog to gesture at the same time; I found him way more attentive.

    PB - it sounds fine; I asked because if lots of people are saying something... well then maybe. But I cannot imagine a situation in which "You are allowed to play in this part of the park, not this part" is "mean" without striking or yelling at the dog.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  12. #12
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    ^ he's a rat terrier. I started training him as soon as I got him, when he was 3 months old. How? hmm... I read all the books I could find on dog training and behavoir, pieced together the information into what I agreed with and believed and followed that.

    I thin kthe biggest thing in training him was that I walk him ( or try to) every single day. When I walk him, I do not allow him to pull me. He must stay right next to me all the time, unless I tell him " go ahead" and that means he's allowed to run ahead and sniff or whatever.

    As a puppy, I taught him that, and when I took him outside I always said " go potty" now he can shit on command ( very helpful when it's raining)
    I also taught him sit, stay, down, roll over and crawl when he was 4 months old.

    Our apartment is upstairs, but our steps are on the inside, so whe you walk in my front door, you are at a landing and have to go up the steps to see the living room. When we come in from a walk, he must wait at the bottom of the steps until I walk up and tell him he can come. That commad is "wait" he doesn't have to be still, he just has to stay down there. I taught him that just because he used to try to run up the steps before i had even unhooked the leash. So now he knows to sit down while i unhook the leash and wait until I say come up.

    That was basically where i started training him..and we just learn as we go. When he used to jump up ojn people, I would say no jumping! And when he got down, a treat and goood boy!! When he barks, Quiet!! and then a treat and good boy! as soon as he's quiet.

    When we eat, he knows how far back he has to sit and be quiet. no begging. If he comes ot close, I tell him back up and sit. he knows now if he stays back and doesn't beg for food, when we are done eating, he gets some table scraps.

    In the car...he knows back up and lay down. I do not allow him to be on my lap in the car. its not safe. Also, I dont allow him to stand on the center console. I fear if I slam on the breaks, he can go through the windshield. So when he is standing in the center console, I tell him back up and he will go to the backseat. I taught him that justby saying it and pushing him back and giving him a treat when he is sitting down back there nicely. He dosn't stop trying to be on the center console..but if I tell him to back up, he will. So he still tests me, but he listens to the commands I give him pretty well.

    I don't know if this is the right thing to do or not..but when he is chewing a bone, sometimes I tell him to drop it and i make him give it to me. then I give it back to him..just to show him that nothign is his and if I want it, I can take it and he has to give it up. I don't know if that's right..but it's what I've done. Same with his toys. When we play tug of war or fetch, I never ever pull thigns form his mouth. I make him give them u pto me. I just hold my hand out and say drop it. I read somewhre that it's not good to pull thigns from their mouth. so I don't. I ask him to drop it.

    I taught him with treats "leave it" and take it.. I put a treat down on the floo and said leave it. and kinda put my hand to block hi, After a second, I said ok, take it. So now I can toss anything on the floor and say leave it..and he wont scarf it up. he will wait until I say ok, take it. As a result..he never grab thigns oout of my hand, he can take food nicely.

    He's 7 months old now, and he's very high energy and definatly not always obedient, but pretty good, in my opinion.

    Not to say I don't spoil him. When we hike once a week...I go to Mc Donalds special for him to get a sausage egg and cheese (no biscuit). I share my dinners with him. At petsmart, I let him pick out his boen and carry it to the counter. No matter how big or silly I think it is, if he picks it out, I'll buyit for him. He gets a lot of rewards and is spoiled like crazy.

    I just...really, really wanted a dog that I could spend a lot of time with and teach a lot of cool things and be proud of my acomplishments. Look what I taught my dog to do! I wanted to be proud my self and my dog....And I try to do everythign perfectly. I read a ton of dog training books all the time and learn new things constantly.

    Anyway..sorry I'm ramblign now, I'm tryign to get drunk tonight
    I just really wanted input on if I was to strict or something. I try very very hard to make my dog happy, ad would be crushed if people thought I wasnt doing tha right. My dog is realyl all that keeps me going. It's pathetic, but he's pretty much my life. it rally hurts me if people think I' doing it wrong. I take this all very seriously.

  13. #13
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Well, I'm not sure you're hurting the dog, but the "big deal" from the training perspective is that you are training him to only respond to yelling, and most people prefer the dog to respond to a quietly spoken command rather than having to yell at it. The more irritated I get with my dog's, the quieter, until we are dealing only in hand gestures. Actually training your dog to gestures is an excellent bonding exercise. I realized that when I had a deaf dog in the house, and I trained my other dog to gesture at the same time; I found him way more attentive.

    PB - it sounds fine; I asked because if lots of people are saying something... well then maybe. But I cannot imagine a situation in which "You are allowed to play in this part of the park, not this part" is "mean" without striking or yelling at the dog.
    Jenny, what I get is more of people saying " aww, he's just having fun, why you stopping him?"

    And with everythign else..I agree. I never yell, and teach him hand signals with every command. Quiet I put my fingers to my lips, roll over I make this over kinda gesture with my hands...I read that dogs understand hand gestures better anyway.

    Well, I yell when I need to get his attention right away, like when he's trying to play with the cats and they are getting pissed. I yell to get him away before he gets clawed. It isnt cause I've lost my temper, its to get him away right now! I'v eactualyl nevr lost my temper with him...I'm pretty easy going, he doesnt do anythgin to piss me off. I get upset or angry maybe, but not so upset I raise my voice. Even hosuebreaking, when he [isses on the floor, doesnt piss me off to the point I start to scream.

    I figure, if he's misbehaving, it's cause he doesnt know better and I havent done my job well enough yet, so if I should be mad, it's at myself, not him.

  14. #14
    God/dess ahmeerah's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    Quote Originally Posted by iseestars View Post
    I love dog owners like you.
    Me too.

  15. #15
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    I wish more dog owners were like you. Parents, too. Please do the world a favor and raise some kids someday.

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    Featured Member kandie_kitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    Definitely not mean, but I understand how you feel.

    I get told I'm mean because when I feed my dog, I make her wait while I pour in her food, and she has to wait till I say "okay" to eat. (I started doing this when we had "aggressive" breeds, to keep them from snapping if you come near their food....and also because I make her stay in a sitted position when guests come over (I know I hate when a 100 pound dog jumps at me, especiallyf or people who are afraid of dogs)

    People worry so much about being "nice" to a dog,t hey don't realize that they are the cause of the dog's problems and faults.

  17. #17
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    ^ yes, I do that too! It's cute too, cause I go for he treatbag, at first he starts to be excited and jump, and then it's liek he rememebrs, and he sits down so nice and cute. How can I resist that? He's such a good boy. He's snoring now Wore him out today.
    Does anyone else's dogs dream? He kicks his fet and makes these little yip noises. it's adorable.

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    Featured Member saphire123456's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    my dog is a terrier mix too and she's soo smart, she picks up all the commands like this (snapps fingers)
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    I didn't even have to read your post to know the answer is no. You seem like one of the most loving and responsible pet owners. I have always thought you would make a great mom. Keep doing what you're doing.

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    Featured Member short skirts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    I think those people are jealous of the fact that they can't control their own dogs.

    It sounds like you've spent a lot of time training your dog to obey your commands and know that you're the boss.

    Good job!

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    God/dess loveandluxury's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    I don't think that's mean at all. I appreciate dog owners like you and I plan on training my puppy the same way. Keep on doing what you're doing

    Animals are my friends, and I don't eat my friends.
    - George Bernard Shaw

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    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    A trained dog is a happy dog. Dogs are pack animals and are happiest when they understand who thier pack leader is. Your dog is clearly well trained and understand that he answers to you. I think your a great example of a good pet owner.



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  23. #23
    ajbaer
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    You sound like a great dog owner!!! I am the same way with my dogs at the park. Barking as you describe is an obsessive behaviour that is NOT desirable. It wouldn't be tolerated in the world of pack dogs, and shouldn't be tolerated in the human pack world either. Your training sounds perfectly acceptable to me.
    My dogs dream to. Although my female has been having nightmares lately. She'll be dead asleep and then jump out of her sleep running and circles and then hides, shaking, under the table. Kinda sad...but nothing I can do about it.
    Tell those dog people to shove it. It's really odd you get that reaction, I usually get people complimenting us on our dogs and trying to get us to take them home and train them.
    Someday those people will learn, it sounds to me like their jealous.

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    Absolutely not. Your dog is happy to know his place in the pack with you as the alpha leader.

    Have you ever heard of the Dog Whisperer? You're spot-on with how he recommends to raise a dog.

  25. #25
    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you think I'm mean to my dog?

    i think your fine, some people dont realize that all dogs are not the same, and need different handling.

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