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Thread: custies insulting other girls

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    Default custies insulting other girls

    In the past 2 months I've had a string of guys who compliment me while insulting other girls. eg. "I think X about you, so much better than the girl on stage right now." Why do they do this? I truly think the girls I dance with are beautiful and I hate when people insult them. It also makes me feel like custies are insulting me behind my back. I hate to be confrontational because I do get money from these guys but I want to let them know it's not okay. How do you deal with this?

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    Member Kindred27's Avatar
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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    I get this from the lady's all the time, I usually tell them to tell the customer that it's rude to talk about someone behind there back (because usually they do it to you as well) or if they don't want to confront the customer about it I will walk over and say "I hear you don't like some of our girls, please refrain from insulting them or you will be banned!"

    This usually quiets them down.. (most of the time the guys are drunk so the banned part gets to them) After that I make them go to the dancer they were talking about and apologise and pay them $5 LoL kinda adds insult to injury

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    A lot of guys like to create drama btw dancers. It makes them feel important (Just like on SW!). And a lot of custies are just rude in the way the communicate-they can't compliment anyone without cutting another person down.

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    if im with a custy and he insults or compliments another dancer i'll say something positive about the dancer then change the subject. "she has a really great personality. so what do you like to do when your not working and visiting us pretty ladies?" -big smile- i want him focusing and spending money on me. if hes watching other dancers and has time to make a comment about them then i feel like im not entertaining him well enough.

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    I know! The worst is when it's a girl with an amazing body and my customer calls her" fat "or says "her ass i too big". I am like wtf? i am bigger than her so why do you like me?

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    I hate it when I compliment another dancer and the guy assumes I have low self-esteem. I don't know how many times I've said, "She's got great legs, don't you think?" and the man says, "What are you talking about, your legs are beautiful." It's amazing that they think me complimenting someone else is somehow a statement that I don't think I'm as pretty, etc. I always come back with something like, "I know, honey, but there's room for lots of pretty girls. Just because she's attractive doesn't mean that I think I'm not."

    Guys are so fucking stupid sometimes.

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Andygirl View Post
    I hate it when I compliment another dancer and the guy assumes I have low self-esteem. I don't know how many times I've said, "She's got great legs, don't you think?" and the man says, "What are you talking about, your legs are beautiful." It's amazing that they think me complimenting someone else is somehow a statement that I don't think I'm as pretty, etc. I always come back with something like, "I know, honey, but there's room for lots of pretty girls. Just because she's attractive doesn't mean that I think I'm not."

    Guys are so fucking stupid sometimes.
    I get this all the time at the club or in real life when I mention something about having small boobs which is a fact. I LOVE my boobs. And I know they are small. Some people have trouble wrapping their mind around that.

    Me: The shirt fits well because I have small boobs.
    Friend: Oh sweetie, your breasts aren't THAT small. They are fine.

    I don't need to be comforted thank you very much........

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    I think some guys think we are all bitchy snippity little jealous girls who LOVE hearing how ugly the other girls are in comparison to us.

    I get a really pissed off look on my ace when a guy randomly insults another girl
    "Thats my SISTER you ASSHOLE"

    "oh..really..I didnt know..I"m sorry..."
    sometimes I let it go at that...if I know the girl well enough to think I can call her over and make him apologize(without saying what he said of course..wouldnt want to hurt her feelings)by getting double dances from me and my "sister"

    Or if I dont know the girl well enough to play that game...I say "no...not really..but she easily COULD be..or my best friend...and not every guy likes the exact same thing. Some guy in here right now is saying ewwwww to me, but thinks SHE is his dream girl. So keep that overactive pie hole shut before you piss off the wrong sister"

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    Quote Originally Posted by Andygirl View Post
    I hate it when I compliment another dancer and the guy assumes I have low self-esteem. I don't know how many times I've said, "She's got great legs, don't you think?" and the man says, "What are you talking about, your legs are beautiful." It's amazing that they think me complimenting someone else is somehow a statement that I don't think I'm as pretty, etc. I always come back with something like, "I know, honey, but there's room for lots of pretty girls. Just because she's attractive doesn't mean that I think I'm not."

    Guys are so fucking stupid sometimes.
    I have to think twice before complimenting girls for this reason. It happens so often I want to avoid it all together.

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    i have a policy of agreeing with the guy as much as possible, if he says they're fat i nod along, if he says they're hot i nod along too, i don't like to be confrontational or disagreeable to the person who holds the purse strings- i don't add fuel to the fire, i just go along with it
    These days I like to count my money. I like to wash it delicately and iron it. Sometimes I dry it with some bounty to make it all nice and cuddly. I love my money... did I say that out loud?

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    Veteran Member ediblecrayonz's Avatar
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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    hahaha, I don't think the customer can win here. If he says anything about anyone's looks we get mad at him. I just try to take a compliment for a compliment; act a little embarrassed, smile sweetly, and say thank you. The most I'll ever say to them when they talk down another girl is "That's not very nice" it just lets them know that I'm not into trash talking and we move on from there.

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    Quote Originally Posted by snow white View Post
    if im with a custy and he insults or compliments another dancer i'll say something positive about the dancer then change the subject. "she has a really great personality.
    My strategy, and I'll also say pointedly, "Everyone here brings something different to the table. That's why it works so well here." Then I try to get back to getting his money and his focus on my giving him a dance.

    I've often wondered if the guy just wants to be abusive, but doesn't have the balls to insult me directly, so he'll take the passive-aggressive route.
    "Don't piss off a motivated stripper."


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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    I would think if you got a bouncer or manager to confront the idiots, then they'd get the message and it won't hurt your business.

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    i absolutely won't tolerate it. i call him out for talking shit and then say something positive about the girl and change the subject.

    i -hate- that kind of behavior and not doing anything about it is like encouraging it, IMO.

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseLeigh View Post
    A lot of guys like to create drama btw dancers. It makes them feel important (Just like on SW!). And a lot of custies are just rude in the way the communicate-they can't compliment anyone without cutting another person down.

    Exactly!!! Unfortunetly, I work in a relatively small bar and a lot of the girls do sit there are bash the others.

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    I get this all the time along with "you're the hottest one here" it's so annoying! I just play dumb and act like I don't know what they're talking about.. it's better than getting into an argument. Some guys even try to get me to talk crap about the other girls by asking me why I'm better than everyone else.


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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    I have sometimes pretended to go along with it..without looking obvious to the other girl so as to make them feel bad, insult them etc,...only with the purpose of baiting them...these guys are usually homely and insecure about themselves and need to feel PROTECTED by your assurance of their opinions and basic sheltered lifestyle. Sometimes these guys are the easiest to get dances from if you go along with their cynical view of life.....they are also usually the drunk ones, especially towards the end of the night.

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    Veteran Member Allice's Avatar
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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    I just say, "oh yeah, that's my (good) friend so and so, I love her to death" when it applies, because I am friendly with most of the dancers. And most of the time, the customer looks slightly embarrassed and shuts the fuck up. I love women, and don't appreciate haters in the club. I don't find that this approach hurts my money, either.

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten View Post
    I just say "different strokes for different folks, I guess! So what's your favorite part of a woman's body?" etc. Basically I say something neutral and change the subject
    Yes, this is what I do. Changing the subject and getting them back on track to buy a dance.

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    Quote Originally Posted by mollyzmoon View Post
    Oh honey, you know how I feel about this. Like I wear certain dresses, and I had a customer ask 'why don't you wear the bikinis like the other girls?', and I said that I think the dress compliments my curves. Then he's all 'oh you're not fat!'. Argh.
    Yup. I hope you don't mind me sharing the lingerie store story.

    Store clerk: I'll go grab it for you!
    mollyzmoon: (hiding in changeroom) Okay, I'm not as small as my friend here. (meaning don't bring me an extra small or something).
    Store clerk: Oh honey, you're beautiful!

    ummm....... okay. Since when does "not as small as my friend" mean "I don't think I'm beautiful." ???? I know she meant well but that really pissed me off.

    I won't even mention my small boobs even if there is a context (like buying clothes) because I hate the obligatory "oh, honey. They aren't THAT small."
    Last edited by NewMoon; 06-13-2008 at 06:03 AM.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    Some guys think that women only understand compliment in respect to other women. "You're beautiful" has no meaning; it has to be "You're prettier than she is". It's just guys buying into a stereotype. (Which is of course why it is offensive - like why would you even think I would gratified by insulting other girls, you douchebag?)
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    I have to agree with what a lot of people say, that it's assumed we have low self esteem (not just as strippers but as women) and are jealous of everyone else around us.

    I always try to maintain a positive attitude at work no matter what, so when someone says something negative I totally disagree with them.

    Cust: "you're so much prettier than she is/she can't dance/she's fat"
    Me: "Really? I don't think so, I think she's just awesome!"

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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    I think to myself Go home to your wife
    I just smile and say it takes guts to go up on a stage in front of a bunch of people and get naked
    I don't chase money. Money chases me.

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    Veteran Member exotic0690's Avatar
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    Default Re: custies insulting other girls

    They just put dancers down to feel better about themselves. Who cares.
    I don't chase money. Money chases me.

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