My Dad is in the advanced stages of Multiple Sclerosis and struggles with dementia.
After watching my father detereorate physically for 20+ years, I now get to watch him detereorate mentally as well. It's fucking awesome. I love it. I love how we can send a man to the moon but we "don't have a cure for M.S." yeah, right. I won't go into my theory on that and other diseases, but I digress..
I left my family in Massachusetts and moved to California to start a new life for myself. I had to quit dancing and just needed to get away from it to turn my life around (and I did). My brother has taken over occupying my Dad and kicking in here and there for help, but the guilt eats at me on a daily basis. Badly. I think of how I could be there for my Dad when he is bored and lonely. It really fucks me up.
The dementia is really difficult though. Does anyone else struggle with this? Not a distant relative or friend, but someone like a parent or a very close friend.
I feel a lot of guilt because the dementia makes me so angry sometimes. Not my Dad, but the disease. i find myself getting easily frustrated. Like, I'll have a conversation with my Dad, and we'll make plans to talk tomorrow and he'll call me back 5 minutes later with no recollection that we just made plans to talk tomorrow.
It makes me want to scream and cry and kick things and sometimes if life has already bitten me in the ass that day, I find I am less patient than other times. I never ever could get upset with my Dad, but sometimes I am sure I sound more "occupied." I HATE myself for this.
Does anyone else deal with this? I would love to hear someone elses experience and how they cope..



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Yeah I can relate.
Nothing I can really say though to help.
Just reassuring to know that I'm not alone, though it's sad at the same time.


It makes you overlook certain character flaws and bad behavior .

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