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Thread: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

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    Newbie shlay85's Avatar
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    Angry I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    So... yesterday, I'm at work. I see this cute guy sitting at a table. He's sitting alone, and nodding off to sleep. It surprised the shit out of me to see a guy falling asleep in a go-go club full of scantily-clad women, so I stood above him for about 15 seconds. His guy friend approached me and I asked him, "Is he really sleeping?" The guy said "Yes, he is. Why don't you wake him up?" I walk back over to the sleeping guy, and I tap him on the shoulder.

    He wakes up, and I laugh and ask him why in the world is he sleeping in a place like this. Mildly embarassed, he denies being asleep. I asked what brought him to the club, and he said that he was just here to have a couple drinks and that he was here to see a friend of his who was waitressing. I politely asked if they were an item, and he said that he liked her a lot, but he wasn't sure where they stood because she was always all over other guys. We make a little more small talk, about 3 minutes worth, when a waitress walks past me and says to me "Umm.... seriously. You need to get up."

    She was offended that I was sitting with the guy. She caught me off guard, but when I finally realized why she was being so snotty, I looked at the guy and said "You said you were unsure about how she felt about you..... well, there's your answer. I'll go have a talk with her so you won't get in trouble later. Enjoy the rest of your evening." I approached the girl and told her that I meant no disrespect by sitting with him, and she told me there's no harm done.

    But the more I thought about it during the rest of my shift, the madder I got. There's a fuckin reason that you're not supposed to bring your man into the club you work in. I'm actually gonna confront the girl when I go back to work tomorrow, and I want everyone to hear me when I do. I'm new there, with no prior experience dancing whatsoever. I'm having a hard enough time just learning how to sell dances and gain regulars and be enticing enough to get the men to tip me on stage (not to mention doing it all in sky-high dancer heels). I don't think it's fair to me or any of the other girls to make it so that we have to sort through which guys are there to have a good time and which ones are there to see their girlfriends/wives so we don't disrespect or upset anyone. It pissed me off because having your man in the club while you're on duty is against the rules, and for good reason. It spawns drama.

    I don't like when girls let their boyfriend/husband/guy they like a lot come in the club. Unless you make it known that he's your man, no one's gonna know, and women are gonna approach him. These girls are trying to get every dollar they can, and guess what? While you're somewhere on the other side of the club doing your job, somebody's sitting next to your man, trying to do their job as well. All I'm saying is PLEASE tell your man not to come in there while you're at work. It's not necessary. You guys can talk as much as you want whenever you get off. If he needs a drink, he can go to some other bar, it's not necessary that he come to the particular bar you work in just because you're there.

    Sorry for the long rant. I just take it personal when someone upsets the natural order of things in my life. It's hard enough to do my job, and I don't appreciate it when someone is making my job harder for me, and letting your man come into the club without warning everyone with so much as a "Hey, this is my boyfriend", it pisses me off when I get caught up in that. I don't ever intentionally hurt or disrespect anyone. Don't do it to me. And don't make stupid ass decisions like letting your man come into a gentleman's club and then get mad when one of the girls shoves her tits into his face. No one knew that he was off limits. After all, you didn't say anything. Next time, carry visitor badges in your purse so whenever he decides to pop in, you can slap one on him that reads "Hi! My name is [Jo Ann's Boyfriend]. A little gesture like that goes a long way, are we agreed?

    Any of you ever had this problem or maybe have seen it happen?

  2. #2
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    Throwing a loud public tantrum probably isn't the best solution, but yeah, I agree it's irritating.

  3. #3
    Newbie shlay85's Avatar
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    Oh, trust me, above all else, I'm still a lady. I don't get loud in public under any circumstances, not even with my man. But I AM gonna let her ass know that it's plain stupid to let her man come into the club where she works. As a matter of fact, it's fuckin retarded. And if it's a must that she does it, she needs to make it her business to let all the dancers know that he's off limits. And if that's too much of a hassle for her to let every girl working know not to try him because he's her man, then don't let his ass come in at all. It's that simple. You're right. It's infuriating.

  4. #4
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    My advice would be to just let it go. If you had said something at that time then thats ok but whats done is done. Why are you getting yourself all worked up over it now, after the fact?

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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    I also agree that throwing a tantrum isn't the best idea, especially if you're new.

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    Newbie shlay85's Avatar
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    I dunno.... I'm new at dancing, and I haven't quite mastered the "Let it go" thing. I'll take yours and Yekhefah's advice and let it slide. It just takes time. I guess it's just the idea that she felt that I disrespected her, but she's the one that let her man come in there, like I or any of the other girls for that matter were supposed to know. But, I'll just make a mental note of it and next time it happens, I'm gonna make sure that I handle it right then.

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    Member chevelle454's Avatar
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    I agree to let it go, by the waitress saying no harm done, she is, even though she might be pissed. I totally see your point, cant stand the whineasses that don't see things for whats involved. I bet you wont see her boyfriend back there, if you do, dont think theyll be together long, and at least now you know. Gotta keep the peace even though you want to rip there head off.

    Just act professional there, forget about it, trust me, I have such a hard time getting over stuff, I just ignore it, but yeah, i just maybe need medication at times lol

    hope it works out!

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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    Definetly act professional and let it go. Otherwise if you're the one to start something with this, even though it's already been taken care of, YOU are the one to lose your job, not her. Especially if you have not been there very long. It is not always the best idea for SO's to come into the club. It does cause drama. Usually that rule only goes for dancers and not the waitresses from what I've seen around here, but every club is different.

    I also say it was really none of your business to even ask the guy if they were an item. If they wanted it known she would have made it that way or he would have volunteered the info up front.

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    Member Kindred27's Avatar
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    In our club SO's are not allowed, period. Waitress or Dancers. I know of a couple of our dancer's Boy Friends that go in another club that they work at, they buy dances from other girls and there is no drama they have that understanding. But I tell them that if they come in they can't stay because of the problems that it can cause.

    So far I haven't had any problems from the BF's or the Dancers "Knocks on wood"

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    Featured Member la429's Avatar
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    I would be really mad too because from how you described it she was really disrespectful towards you. Maybe just catch her when it's the two of you and explain to her that you didn't realize that was her boyfriend and you don't appreciate the way she talked to you. Personally I wouldn't be able to let it slip if someone treated me disrespectfully. Your not going to be friends with everyone so you might as well stick up for yourself.

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    Featured Member Perry's Avatar
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    If you can't let it go then tell a manager - don't try to handle it yourself. And even if you do that be ready for the rest of the club to know in about 3 minutes. It's not worth it to risk having everyone pissed at you.

    I've had my bf in the club - only for competitons I was in, and when girls asked to sit with him, or for a dance he was given specific instructions to say, "I'm so-and-so's boyfriend. I'm just here to support her." And give them a dollar.

    You're right, signifigant others don't belong in the club. But, IMO the best way to handle it is to tell the waitress , "I'm sorry I sat with your guy - but here men don't belong to anyone, and if he does then he's wasting our time and putting your job at risk by comming in."

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    Isn't jealousy so becoming? Just think about how ugly it made her look and tell a manager if he keeps coming in.

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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    Quote Originally Posted by shlay85 View Post
    Next time, carry visitor badges in your purse so whenever he decides to pop in, you can slap one on him that reads "Hi! My name is [Jo Ann's Boyfriend].
    Awesome.

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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    I would not have been happy either. That's embarrassing that she told u to get up in front of him. I would have had a word to her afterwards and if she pissed me off further I'd have told the manager. The waitresses are cool at my club. Some of them have guys come in to visit them but they respect the fact that the dancers are hustling and NOT trying to pick up their man.
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    Quote Originally Posted by shlay85 View Post
    So... Next time, carry visitor badges in your purse so whenever he decides to pop in, you can slap one on him that reads "Hi! My name is [Jo Ann's Boyfriend]. A little gesture like that goes a long way, are we agreed?
    I love that suggestion too!
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Veteran Member Arizona_Angel's Avatar
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    It happens. I have worked at clubs that allowed SO's to be there and occasionally there were issues.

    I would just say 'Whoops, sorry I didn't know' and leave it at that. If the girl made an issue out of it it was on her and not me.

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    Veteran Member $$$magnet's Avatar
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    I once had another dancer physically attack me in the middle of the club floor because her boyfriend kept tipping me on stage and buying dances.... She was fired, but he still comes in occasionally without her knowledge and gets dances from me.
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    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    I can't imagine why you'd want your man to come and hang out in the club. No good can come of that.

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    God/dess Sirona's Avatar
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    Our club has a no boyfriend/no husband rule.
    However, when I was hired I let them know that my other half had been going there for years as a customer and I certainly wasn't going to stop him at this point.

    He is the rare exception to the rule. He's come in while I was working and while the managers/DJ's and some of the bouncers know who he is, the girls generally don't and I treat him like any other customer.

    It's undfortunate that so many people act so immaturely.
    I totally understand your frustration and anger. Like everyone said though, it's not nearly important enough to get yourself worked up over.



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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    would be pissed too, especially how SHE handled it. "You need to get up?" I would have given her a dirty look... I dont take that kind of attitude, especially if it was not known!

    But I agree, let it slide. You told her you didnt know, and she was ok with it and said there was no harm. So try not to let it bug you. I know it would piss me off to no end too, though.

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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    Our club has that rule as well, but no one follows/enforces it, and it makes me so mad. My club is primarily stage, and doing dances means you're having a good night, and one night I sold a string of 3 dances to some 'random guy' who was also tipping me very very well on stage. I get back into the DR after my set, and all of the girls are sitting there trying to calm down another dancer. I get pulled aside and told that he's her bf, what I did wasn't appropriate, blah blah blah. And hes in there once week or so, always tipping me and coming up to talk to me, and she gets mad everytime. I want to talk to management, but Ive been there 2 months, shes been there 7 years (most of the people there have been there for years, one girl has been at that place for 22 years). It bogggles my minf why girls would want their bf's to see the flirting with other guys and running around topless!

  22. #22
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    If that happened to me at my club, you better believe I would have gone straight to management. And the bitch waitress would be looking for a new job right now.

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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    I think i'm in the minority, but it generally doesn't bother me is someones SO comes in. I generally find out quickly and just leave the guy alone.

    Honestly, I don't think its the SO coming in that causes the problem, it's girls who get jealous at the drop of a hat. Or pissed because heaven forbid they spent 5min with the guy only to find out he was SO.

    The last club i worked at, my SO came in occasionally to watch me, because we found it hot to tease like that. He always tipped girls when they came to him, and I had no problem with girls sitting and talking with him. I knew he was mine, so whatever. It was a stage only club, but he gave me money to tip the girls, so it wasn't like he was sitting there not being nice to them.

    I think the waitress was rude, but let it go. In this business, you learn to let a lot go, quickly. you just find it's not worth the time.

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    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    IF and only IF the SO is being a CUSTOMER I'm ok with them coming in. AND if the girl isnt being a jealous shrew. My man comes in once in a blue moon...he drinks top shelf, doesnt cause any trouble, I dont care if other girls talk to him, he tips...he acts like a CUSTOMER..NOT my man. In face...neither of us tell anyone he IS my man.

    If you are going to have your SO come into the club...get over whatever petty jealousy you may have. If you cant stop yourself from being bitchy and causing trouble when another girl does her JOB and talks to him or tries to hustle him...then he needs to stay the hell out.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: I HATE When Dancers Do This.

    I agree that you should let it go. The bottom line is that she was an asshole and confronting her about that isn't going to all of a sudden make her a reasonable, normal human being and say something like, "You know, you're right. That was wrong of me".
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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