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Thread: The "Exclusive" Conversation

  1. #1
    Featured Member greggy's Avatar
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    Default The "Exclusive" Conversation

    I put this in The Lounge because I need male input as well as female:

    When in a relationship do you have the Exclusive Conversation? Who should bring it up? What should it consist of?

    I'm not sure if I'm ready to have the conversation yet. We've known each other since Sept '07, went on one date in Nov '07, another in Jan '08, and finally hooked up and started seeing each other once a week in April '08. He starts the conversation every once in a while, and I tend to end it before we reach a conclusion. I think it's something we both want, but we aren't sure if we're ready... or maybe if the other person is ready... I don't know.

    How does everyone else handle this?

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    God/dess cutey5032's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "Exclusive" Conversation

    Never be the one to bring it up! Let him bring it up Especially if you think he will bring it up anyway.

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    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "Exclusive" Conversation

    I think you have the conversation (or the non-exclusive convo) when you feel the other person either feels the same or the opposite. I hope that made sense.

    If you're not ready though, just tell him you're not ready when he brings up the topic again. Or you want a little more time dating to get to know him.

    Am I the only one who thinks it's cute that he's bringing it up? I love it when men are interested in exclusivity. LOL

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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "Exclusive" Conversation

    seems he's ready to be exclusive if he's bringing it up.

    otherwise men don't bring it up at all.

    i don't think there's necessarily a timing to it in the sense of a mutual epiphany. at least that's not the norm or most common scenario imo or ime.

    i think it's just more that one party's ready (like him in this case) and brings it up to feel out the other's readiness. then it's a simple "yes or no" for that moment in time.

    more often than not in my circle of friends the "exclusiveness" occurs more as a de facto state of being, i.e. when the couple chooses to monopolize each other's time to the point that other dates with other people are essentially impossible. or they must make an active choice to refuse another person's date due to time constraints from the new emerging relationship.

    imo, it's at that point in the relationship that one person makes the "judgement" call.

    is this going exclusive and i should talk to my new SO about it?

    -or-

    i'm being smothered by this new SO and i need to slow down or break it off because i don't want to rush things, i don't want to be exclusive, s/he's too stalkish/needy, etc.

    hth

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "Exclusive" Conversation

    Eh, if it was going to happen I think it would have by now. I don't think you're into him enough to commit.

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "Exclusive" Conversation

    What snoopy said !!!

    He basically said it better than me yet I was about to say the same thing.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    Default Re: The "Exclusive" Conversation

    I'd rather wait for the guy to bring it up, although it does seem like a while. If you're getting restless and aren't willing to waste your time, just ask! I've asked a guy once if he liked me or just liked having sex with me. Lol it helped me move past the relationship confusion.. he ended up being my fb. for while.

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    Banned jasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: The "Exclusive" Conversation

    When I was young and a little less careful I waited on the guy to say anything (& usually ran like hell as soon as they mentioned getting serious). As I got a little older I always had made sure we had agreed to be sexually exclusive before sex (I'm terrified of STD's), emotional commitment I just played it by ear. If I wanted to, I brought it up, but was always really laid back about that sorta thing.

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