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Thread: I'm a klutz

  1. #1
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default I'm a klutz

    At school the other day, I went to throw something away in the trash can. After I disposed of whatever it was, I turned to go use the restroom...but for some reason, the wall got in my way..there's this metal holder thign bolted to the wall, and my head connected with it. The metal thigny clanged realy loud. Everyone turned to look...I kept on walking, feelign slightly dazed.
    In the restroom, I surveyed the damage. U shaped red swollen lump right across my forehead. niice.
    So I walk back into class with this pretty U lump on my head...and everyone turns around almost in unison " OMG. Are you OK??
    Sooo embarassing.

    My head is alwyas getting in the way of doors, walls and other unmoveable objects. WTF? Am I not aware of my body parts? Am I not aware of where my head is?? I cannot tell you how many times I have opened car doors right on my face. I dont get it. How can I be so fuckn clumsy?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    How is cloud 9 anyway?

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    You're probably just REALLY tired.

    I know I'm ridiculously clutzy when I have lack of sleep and or if I havn't worked/stripped for a while I feel a bit clutzy.

    Dancing helps me be a bit more graceful.

  4. #4
    God/dess loveandluxury's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    I think we're twins. I'm the exact same way!

    Animals are my friends, and I don't eat my friends.
    - George Bernard Shaw

  5. #5
    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    Thats me..somehow the walls always move on me and slam into my head, chairs jump right in front of me and bruise my legs,floors produce invisible ropes for me to trip over.

    I always have at LEAST one bruise that I have no idea where I got...I'm such a clutz its a miracle I spent so much time dancing on a stage in sky high heels without killing myself!!

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
    "I'll picklepunch you in your twatwaffle!"

  6. #6
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    Quote Originally Posted by ArmySGT. View Post
    How is cloud 9 anyway?
    lol.

    Im a klutz too.... dont feel so bad.


    I remember I was at work a while back ... I was walking the floor and ran into the stage. How the hell does someone do that? Ive been there 2 years and the stage is about 30 ft by 20 ft... how does someone not see it?

  7. #7
    ajbaer
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    Quote Originally Posted by loveandluxury View Post
    I think we're twins. I'm the exact same way!
    same here

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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    Ok an honest reply........ My glasses fuck up my peripheral vision, so I clip doorways and tables often enough to look klutzy.

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    God/dess loveandluxury's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    Okay. I think I've got you beat.

    I bought some Coach purses a few years ago and I wasn't really using them anymore, so I sold them about a year ago. For the last 6 months I've been looking for those purses all over the damn house. I felt like the most irresponsible person for losing 2 Coach purses. I was just sitting upstairs and suddenly remembered that I sold them!! I guess I can quit looking for them now

    Animals are my friends, and I don't eat my friends.
    - George Bernard Shaw

  10. #10
    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    I'm a nit of a klutz too. I knock things over all the time, its like I have no spacial awareness. I also walk into the corner of open cupboards alot, that hurts like a bitch!



    "I don't take a piss without getting paid for it." - Harlan Ellison

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    To live is to move, to move is to be alive.
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    Quote Originally Posted by pixierocksonthepole View Post
    "tampons are proof that God exsists."

  11. #11
    Veteran Member fluffypenguin's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    Ha ha, I remember one quiet night in the club when I first started dancing, I ended up having to shout myself a drink. I turned away from the bar, next thing I know I was sprawled spread eagled on the floor. The whole club stared at me with the guy closest to me commenting "nice show". Years later, I still haven't got the hang of stiletto's!

  12. #12
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    I guess I'll have to share my most embarassing story:

    I was 14 and thought it would be cool for me to pull my moms car out of the driveway as we were getting ready to leave.

    I actually forgot to shut the car door.

    So I'm backing the car out of the driveway, and the open door clips the side of our horse trailer. I thought...well, I'll just give it some gas, it'll get unstuck, and I can pull the door shut.

    So I give the car a little gas...and the fuckin door bent all the way back ad fell to the ground.

    Cue my mother. She walks out just in time to see her car door fall off.

    That wasn't a good day for me or my ass.....

  13. #13
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    Im so going to 1 up you PB.

    I was 16, driving my moms new car... la de da... driving down the street about 5 minutes from home and BAM - I hit a parked car and total the car.

    Dur

  14. #14
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    lmao!

    I did end up totalling that car eventually...

    At 15, I backed into my boyfriends car and broke out a taillight.

    At 17, I flipped over a hill driving in the snow and that's what totaled it finally.

    It was a 92ish Ford Escort. That car was a fuckin tank oddly enough. It had over 150,000 miles on it when I finalyl totaled it.

  15. #15
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    Ive blown the engine on 2 cars, totaled one, fucked one up while pulling into the garage, backed into numerous poles, low walls, etc etc.

    Im a horrible driver...

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    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    I've broken a toe giving a BJ!
    and dislocated a shoulder POINTING AT THE TV!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
    "I'll picklepunch you in your twatwaffle!"

  17. #17
    AudreyLeigh
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    Quote Originally Posted by CKXXX View Post
    I've broken a toe giving a BJ!
    and dislocated a shoulder POINTING AT THE TV!!!
    ok, CK wins the klutz of the year award

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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    I think the pole at my old club is cursed. A long time ago when I worked there regularly, I fell off the pole doing an invert, landed on my head, and got a mild concussion (NOT fun!). Then I moved to my current club that had poles three times the height of Club 1. I did inverts every damn night, four and five times a night, and not ONCE did I fall on my head. I pulled a few muscles and got a lot of bruises, but nothing serious.

    Then I go back to do another night in Club 1--the first night I've done there in MONTHS--and I fell off the damn pole doing an Inverted Crucifix. I came down hard on the back of my head, my neck, and my damn shoulder. It was bad enough I had to ask the bar for a bag of ice and my shoulder wouldn't move by the time I left the club (about an hour after I fell). The manager was in the bar when I asked for a bag of ice, and he asked me what it was for. When I told him I fell off the pole upside-down, he said, "Again?!" That night I had a moderate concussion, a fractured shoulder, and a pulled hamstring.

    Now my fiance says I'm not allowed to do inverts anymore unless I have protective padding or wear a safety helmet. I really like inverts!

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    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    Quote Originally Posted by CKXXX View Post
    I've broken a toe giving a BJ!
    and dislocated a shoulder POINTING AT THE TV!!!
    I've sprained a wrist picking up a Stephen King book off the floor.

  20. #20
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    Quote Originally Posted by CKXXX View Post
    I've broken a toe giving a BJ!
    and dislocated a shoulder POINTING AT THE TV!!!
    Yeah but way to give 110%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  21. #21
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    Quote Originally Posted by CKXXX View Post
    I've broken a toe giving a BJ!
    and dislocated a shoulder POINTING AT THE TV!!!
    we have a winner!!

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    Default Re: I'm a klutz

    Quote Originally Posted by Peanut_Butter View Post
    My head is alwyas getting in the way of doors, walls and other unmoveable objects. WTF? Am I not aware of my body parts? Am I not aware of where my head is?? I cannot tell you how many times I have opened car doors right on my face. I dont get it. How can I be so fuckn clumsy?

    Rum and pepsi agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain?

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