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Thread: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

  1. #1
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    Default Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

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    Last edited by RoseLeigh; 10-16-2008 at 10:04 PM.

  2. #2
    Tauries
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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    While there might not be an "official" right way to handle it...you could always remind them that Abraham Lincoln died nailed to the cross for all our sins . This has usually left all colors of racists confused and speechless....win!!

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    Featured Member vivianbear's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    I have to say, you handled it as well as you could. Asshole tax?! That's amazing! I have got to bring that up sometime!
    I've never danced in the southern US. I'm sorry that made you so uncomfortable.
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    God/dess TheTempest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    Quote Originally Posted by vivianbear View Post
    I've never danced in the southern US. I'm sorry that made you so uncomfortable.
    I think that the scary thing is that NJ is not the southern U.S. and people are using that language.

    I really think I'd have to say "Oh darling, we don't use that language up here! Didn't your Mama teach you not to cuss in front of a fucking lady?"

    I like to make them laugh. Then I'd say "you gotta give me a dollar to go clean out my ears with, naughty boy" or something. I never ask for asshole tax, but I think in that case I really would.

    I would never tell anyone in A.C. that I was Jewish for that exact reason. Too many travelers don't recall that their mannerisms aren't acceptable everywhere and in a Northern state (in any state in reality but Northern states especially) that sort of behavior isn't appropriate.

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    Veteran Member BeBe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    I've had guys feel so comfortable with me that they've called me a cool bitch, the prettiest "n" they've ever seen, a cute colored girl, and a sexy negro, none of this goes over well with me, but I do get it from time to time.

    Anyhoo, without being confrontational I let them know that it's a really bad thing to say that and I'd prefer them to call me by my name and when referring to people of color use the word Black or African-American.

    I'm really polite but stern when I calmly correct them and they're always apologetic, generally tip me well for their ignorance without me asking. I only ignore this crap if they're not speaking directly to me, otherwise, it's game on.

    I never get offended to the point where I'm snapping. It's very important that I maintain my integrity and professionalism. Generally, these guys feel pretty stupid for their ignorance, but they truly didn't know they were in the wrong.

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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    Ugh..I HATE HATE HATE it when people assume that because you are white,making racist jokes or comments in front of you is ok.

    I usually either give them a cold hard look that clearly says "NOT OK"

    or if I'm in a smartass mood(so..what I usually do..lol) I say something like really..my moms black you know" (I couldnt be MORE white...I'm so pale I'm almost transparent) Once I even had a guy convinced I was black..I was all teary eyed(thank heaven for all those years of acting teaching me to cry on cue) and indignant...when he said "but you dont LOOK black" I even got all pissed and said "Oh what..we all look ALIKE?? IS THAT what you think??"

    He chased me down to apologize...tipped me too!

    Or sometimes I just go flat out bitch and say "gee..you didnt LOOK like a racist asshole. Teach ME to judge a book by its cover"

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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseLeigh View Post
    they had to tip me (asshole tax, I do this at sometimes for the ignorant dudes at work who try and call girls bitch, etc.) for swearing in front of me.
    Awesome! How did you enforce this? Did you actually label it the asshole tax in front of them?
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    God/dess Susan-Va's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    Virginia is the South, some of us are very proud of that, me being one of them I consider myself a Southern lady. But we do have assholes down here. Every place does I think.

    I don't understand the use of the "N" word just because your from Philly, that's just stupid. I have heard some people throw the word around but never in that context.

    The guys were assholes, I think you handled it well.

    Please don't judge Virginians or Southerners by these guys, most of use ore pretty cool and open minded. There are ignorant assholes all over the country.

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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    I had that problem alot in arizona for some reason. I always just got really cold for a second and said 'I dont like that word, dont use it' then straight back to giggly and bubbly. They usually took the hint, if not, I just asked again, or told them I had to get going unless they wanted a dance

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    Veteran Member AmArticia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    I had some guy at the bar one time insulting one of our DJs for being Middle-Eastern, which I was not keen on. It's one thing if I call Ghosh "Terrorist" because it's all in play and we're still cool. He christened me "Little Emo" in return and we use said names to this day even though he no longer works at my club. When a CUSTOMER who doesn't even know Ghosh starts insulting him in front of me calling him a "fucking terriorist" and "Osama" and shit, it really dosn't sit well with me since he was basicly insulting one of my friends.

    So I just got really cold and asked him to stop and luckly he took the hint and the subject was changed.

    Mind you I've nipped at Ghosh (and others I work with) too for using homophobic insults which I really can't stand since most of my closest friends are GLBT. When a customer uses a homophobic insult though I just realise I have to pick my battles cause as much as I may find it offensive, I can't scold every customer for calling their bro a "F*ggot."

    I'm equal opportunity mostly in scolding people who insult my friends.
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  11. #11
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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    Quote Originally Posted by BeBe View Post
    the prettiest "n" they've ever seen
    I woulda ripped their tongues out! But, good for you for keeping you cool.. My mouth tends to get me in trouble, and isn't usually too effective anyway. But still, what a repulsive thing to say!

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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    Thats fucked up. It would depend on the circumstances going on in the club that would dictate how I would handle it. Whether the room was slow or busy, how much they were spending etc. If they were spending, you might not want to completely burn your bridges by cursing them out. No matter what, I would say, "Oh honey please don't use that word around me, it's mean and it makes me uncomfortable." Some people are ignorant and think everyone thinks the way they do. I get people saying mean things about white people (like blacks talking badly about whites and white guys saying bad things about white women) It makes me angry because my hubby is white and I have two white step daughters.
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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTempest View Post

    I would never tell anyone in A.C. that I was Jewish for that exact reason. Too many travelers don't recall that their mannerisms aren't acceptable everywhere and in a Northern state (in any state in reality but Northern states especially) that sort of behavior isn't appropriate.
    I don't tell people I'm Jewish either. It's kind of like secretly being black or gay -- ie. hated by ignorant dumbasses.
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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    I'm from Va, and rarely do I run into these ignorant types of people....lucky for them..lol. I have come across it where I danced at in WV, esp. since most people think I'm not black so they talk candidly in front of me. When I did encounter them, I wouldn't deal with them period, I don't even want money from asses like that.
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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    Wow, fortunately I have not had to deal with this a lot...If it DID happen, I would just say, "Oh honey my mama would have SMACKED me if I would have talked like that" and then just change the subject....

    It makes things worse to get in a big debate with people like that, I have always found, but it makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable....I figure most racists are women haters too...I hate to be like them and stereotype, but whatevs. I certainly would not want to be alone in a room with somebody who was so racist they felt comfortable dropping the N bomb in front me!
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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    Quote Originally Posted by BohemianSiren View Post
    I don't know how to handle racist bullshit either. So many customers think that because I'm white, I'm going to automatically agree with their ignorant comments. I never know what to say in response. Usually I just excuse myself.

    Unfortunately, since moving to Florida, I've found myself excusing myself for this reason very, very often, and I know it's hurting my money.

    I noticed this in Florida as well. I lived in Tampa years ago and I could not believe how blantantly racist people are.

    I never had any problems though. Luckily I grew up in Jersey where its so diverse!

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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    I'm sorry you had such an ugly experience. You handled it better than I would have. The only time I've run into ignorant racist pigs was in Southern CA. Lord knows there's an over abundance of them out there. Some dumb ass made a racist slur about how much he always wanted to experience a black woman's full lips on his ----. I said something to the affect of "If you weren't imbred and living in a trailer park, you'd PROBABLY have manners and the ability to act like man instead of a jack ass." He was left speechless.

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    Veteran Member BeBe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    The behavior of some of these custys is totally unacceptable and the things that come out of their mouths is even worse.

    The shock value has wore off. Generally, their comments don't even phase me. It's like I'm numb or de-sensitized to their ignorance. My initial response has always been pretty calm.

    Lucky for them.

    It's almost like I'm prepared for the BS at work so much that when things happen I'm not caught off guard, ill equipped with what to do.

    An emotional response is not always the best response. Being mentally prepared for this and other types of BS at the club, keeps me more in control of the situation. I'm more professional, rational, reliable, and focused when I'm prepared. So, preparation is key.

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    Default Re: Tips for vulgarity/racist-ness?

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan-Va View Post
    Please don't judge Virginians or Southerners by these guys, most of use ore pretty cool and open minded. There are ignorant assholes all over the country.
    True dat. I ran into a lot of racism in Montana, and that is about as geographically opposite of the southern US as you can get.


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