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Thread: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

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    Default For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    Serious question.

    Call it morbid curiosity or something but....

    Reason I'd like to know is that I spent quite a while the other night at a great club here on the Space Coast in Florida. I had some great dances with some very hot women, but the lady I really wanted to dance with avoided me like the plague. She is exactly my type and I'd have spent a good chunk of change on her if she'd come over.

    No stares, leers, gawks or other bad behavior, but she just refused to come over even if I motioned. She'd been giving some extremely hot dances to some fairly skanky guys so I was hoping she'd give me some good mileage as well.

    After several dances with one of the other ladies, I asked if she wouldn't mind asking my choice to come over and dance a couple. After asking, she still refused.

    I went to a late dinner with one of the dancers that night since we hit it off fairly well and had a great time. She invited me back the next night so I went and I tried again to get the object of my lust to dance for me. Again blue-balled. (At least until my dinner partner decided to get very intimate off-campus but that's another story. I did say we hit it off... )

    I'm a professional guy who tries to show up at the clubs clean and well dressed since a little respect seems to go a long way. It certainly did that night since I made a couple of new friends. I tip at the rail and usually buy a drink for the lady if she'd like one, and honestly enjoy talking as much as lapping with the right lady. Apparently I just had some sort of repellent on both nights...

    So ladies, what makes you choose guy A over guy B on a given night? The cash is always green, so it has to be something else. In this case "she's weird" seemed to be the consensus among the other ladies I met, but is there a "criteria" you use aside from personal preference?

    Being male I'm fairly dense, but again I'm truly curious since there's always the one dancer at a club that just won't dance for you.

    Thanks

    M
    Last edited by mikeinmn; 06-25-2008 at 06:46 PM. Reason: Spelling oops...

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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    the possibilities are endless:

    1. she was busy and making money anyway
    2. she saw other girls and you "talking about her" and was offended/didn't want to deal with it.
    3. another dancer told her something about you
    4. (for the second day) she found out you went out with another dancer and doesn't want to be asked out herself
    5. she was waiting for a regular to come in and didn't want to get involved with someone else
    6. you had other girls around you/sitting with you
    7. one of the other girls you danced with is known for going bitch-ass-psycho-crazy if someone talks to the guy she was "just with".
    8. she simply didn't notice you wanted her over there

    etc. etc. etc....

    there's not enough info there to narrow it down

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    I'm not very good at approaching customers. I have had customers eventually come up to me and tell me they have been waiting for me for hours. I just lack confidence and fear rejection so I have a lot of trouble going up to customers.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
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    Featured Member nicole84's Avatar
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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    If we are busy, i go by who is looking at me and preferably isn't a young kid. I don't spend a lot of time thinking about it if we're busy.

    If it is fairly quiet, I put more thought into it. Someone who came up to stage to tip me always get asked. Otherwise, someone sitting by themselves (or with only eon other person), unless it is business guys, then i'll do a group. Someone usually 30+, put together clothing wise, no thug looks, and has the right body language (meaning, isn't sitting there looking pissed off or slouched in his chair with his arms crossed).

    Honestly though, a lot of it is just me going with my gut. I occasionally just get the 'go for him' feeling, and it usually works out.

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    Featured Member keira0304's Avatar
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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    First, I ask every single person who shows obvious interest inme
    Second, I ask every single person who is in the club.
    Last, I ask every person I haven't already asked.

    being a minor in pdx and having to hustle from the stage taught me to ask EVERYONE, even if they dont seem interested. on nights i would ask everyone, i would make twice-three times as much as nights i just waited for them to ask me. a lot of guys dont know how to go about asking for a dance or are intimidated.

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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    my pecking order for approaching customers

    guys sitting in vip

    guys drinking soda not alcohol and are alone (older)

    older guys with friends and dressed well

    middle of the road average joes

    younger guys

    couples

    groups of hispanic guys or hip hop type guys (these guys 99% of the time dont want a dance from me, im not their style)

    of course theres exceptions to the rule. my stripper radar leans me to where i should go for the most part.

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    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    Maybe one of her friends told her you were looking for higher mileage and she was offended.

    I would be.

    Maybe you smelled bad and the other dancers told her and she didnt want to deal with it.

    Maybe the other dancer wanted to keep the money to herself and did not,in fact,invite her over.

    Maybe she knew you went on a date with the other dancer and didnt want to interfere.

    Who knows...

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    Veteran Member UV69's Avatar
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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    Never play the why game becuz turth be told you or I will never know what was going on in her head.

    Now I'm going 2 list reasons why girls I have talked with say they turned down dances or why I have, but it could be a completely different story in your case.

    I know a dancer who is soo busy unless you are her regular who always takes her in the room she just rather take the time to catch her breathe.

    Sometime I myself just forget when I have a lineup or somehow get distracted and as much as I wanted to do that dance ADD takes over

    Lots of dancers do not like sharing customers

    You could remind the dancer of her ex, or father, or some1's brother who knows

    Maybe she only likes a certin type of customer and that is all she will dance for(highly unlikely, but maybe)

    Point is it could be anything really we can't give you that answer so why sweat it.

    My stripper radar is competely unbaised unless the customer is rude then I'll falt out turn it down--other then that I go for those that hand over the money the fastest and show me that they want to spend it on me. Now if I do have to pick between 2 of those then 1st come 1st come....unless 1 is my regulars/select few favorites
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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    My pecking order:

    * My regulars or people that I have danced for before

    * Someone that tips me a lot on stage or shows an interest in me

    * Someone older, quiet, sitting by themselves

    * Middle aged guy, once again sitting by himself

    * younger guys sitting by themselves

    * groups

    * girls or couples

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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    Quote Originally Posted by Elusive21 View Post
    My pecking order:

    * My regulars or people that I have danced for before

    * Someone that tips me a lot on stage or shows an interest in me

    * Someone older, quiet, sitting by themselves

    * Middle aged guy, once again sitting by himself

    * younger guys sitting by themselves

    * groups

    * girls or couples
    oh yes, i should have said regulars first, i totally forgot haha.

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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    My order preference:
    1. Cutomers who tip me on stage.... in this order: highest tipper, someone I've danced for before, groups, single guys.
    2. Customers who always buy dances from me
    3. Everyone else. I don't avoid anyone. Only customers that have a dancer with them already.

    Of course, as you can see from the responses this list varies dancer to dancer and club to club.

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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    Well sometimes(i know its shocking) girls in the club actually talk to one another and maybe the girl you took out and got "intimate" with told the other girl. That COULD explain why she avoided you on night 2.
    I dont know why she avoided you on night one. Maybe she just got a bad vibe, maybe she was busy, who knows?

    If she doesnt wanna dance for you tho theres not much you can do.
    ~jenna~

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    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    Quote Originally Posted by mikeinmn View Post

    I was hoping she'd give me some good mileage as well.

    Alot of girls, especially the more experienced dancers, have a 6th sense for that and can smell it a mile away.
    -or-
    She saw you trying to "get mileage" with the other girls and didn't want to deal with you.

    Sorry if that came across harsh, but......

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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    maybe its me but this post leaves a bad taste in my mouth for some reason...
    ~jenna~

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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    Quote Originally Posted by jennahoff View Post
    maybe its me but this post leaves a bad taste in my mouth for some reason...
    Me too. Seems a little stalkeriffic. For the record, if I knew a guy was seeing girls outside he'd be about the last person I'd hit up.

    Also-what's the Space Coast? Makes me think of

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    Featured Member Perry's Avatar
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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    ^^^ Agreed.

    Just from this post I would avoid the OP. High mileage, OTC - seems like you were looking for something she wasn't selling.
    She was either told by another dancer, knew by your signals, or just had that 6th sense.

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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    If I don't see regulars around I look for guys drinking bottled beer, mixed drinks, or water. Alone first, groups second.

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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    Quote Originally Posted by shasta View Post
    I look for guys drinking bottled beer, mixed drinks, or water.
    So what's left? Draft beer? You got a bias against draft drinkers?

    Or maybe, wine? But I don't think I've EVER seen a guy drinking wine at a strip club.

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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    If guys want to get higher up on a particular dancer's pecking order, there are ways of doing that.

    But as for the one you just can't seem to get to well...don't worry about it. Thats why you have backup options. That's how you get your pecking order changed. In either scenario, I think performance speaks louder than potential.
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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    Quote Originally Posted by mikeinmn View Post

    She'd been giving some extremely hot dances to some fairly skanky guys so I was hoping she'd give me some good mileage as well.
    Maybe u are a skanky guy. I dont get why customers judge other customers and assume that they are undesireable to us. I've even had customers bad mouth guys I've just danced for - about their looks, they way they dress etc. It's pretty pathetic really.

    I've ignored guys who have signalled me to come over to them coz I dont like the look of them, I already have someone else like a regular waiting for dances or because I think they are a douche who is just gonna waste my time.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
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    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    No offense taken CB954. I was asking for some honest answers and got them.

    I finally did talk to her and she gave me a very reasonable, very logical answer.

    But to clarify; the lady I dated on night 2 (and have been seeing pretty regularly since) and I went out AFTER that night so talking about our conversation wouldn't have been a possibility.

    I'm not stalking anyone, I've just noticed this a few times at various clubs and was curious as to the reasoning that's used. It is what it is and happens for whatever reason.

    And finally, my definition of skanky from that night was a guy in ripped, frayed jean shorts and a wife-beater T that really did need a shower. I was dressed as I'd go to work, in a polo shirt and some khakis and showered before I went.

    When I say I'm looking for mileage, it's really just something other than an air dance. Some contact and a little interest in dancing for me. I'm not looking for a pop-n-go 'cause I like zippers grinding into my privates as much as most dancers do...

    Thanks for the answers, they're most enlightening.

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    Featured Member iambonbon05's Avatar
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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    Quote Originally Posted by mikeinmn View Post
    I finally did talk to her and she gave me a very reasonable, very logical answer.
    Which was...?

    I agree with Penny, there's a lot of possibilities. But chances are you did something to piss off/set off radar for her, or another dancer who then warned her.

    Anyway to answer the question I go regulars> lonely older guys that look like they may have money> iffy lonely older guys> young guys> groups> guys with other girls.

    And draft drinkers are typically best avoided because they usually order draft because it's the cheapest drink they can get.
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    Hey, lapdances cost at LEAST 5 chickens. If you be offering them for one chicken, you be lowballin' girl.

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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    Quote Originally Posted by iambonbon05 View Post
    And draft drinkers are typically best avoided because they usually order draft because it's the cheapest drink they can get.
    Hey, I drink draft beer because it's usually better beer than the bottled. I don't usually order mixed drinks because most of them are so weak that I think they used an eye dropper rather than a shot glass to measure the liquor.

    Maybe I should get a shirt that reads, "I'm drinking draft beer because i like it."

    But I fall into the category of older guys sitting alone, so maybe I'm OK. Actually, since joining SW, I have never gone to a SC where I didn't spend the night with the dancer of my choice. Good techniques are learned here.

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    Featured Member Otoki's Avatar
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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    Quote Originally Posted by UtahMike View Post
    Actually, since joining SW, I have never gone to a SC where I didn't spend the night with the dancer of my choice. Good techniques are learned here.
    I'm assuming you mean ITC, not OTC. Just clarifying.

    I just noticed the OP's name. God, is he really from MN? I hang my head in shame...


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    Default Re: For the ladies: How do you pick who to ask for dances?

    Quote Originally Posted by CKXXX View Post
    Maybe one of her friends told her you were looking for higher mileage and she was offended.

    I would be.
    I agree with Cherry re: the 6th sense. Most of the time we can just TELL when a customer is going to be trouble. Every time I've had the "6th sense alarm" go off and I ignored it and danced for the guy anyway, it wasn't pretty! It's not even a tangible thing; just a vibe we pick up.

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