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Thread: Benediction to my ex who just got married

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Benediction to my ex who just got married

    I just signed onto my myspace account in what seems like forever and sent out a bunch of messages to people I haven't talked to in awhile.

    On a hunch, I checked my ex's profile and he just got married to the girl he started dating a couple months after I broke up with him.

    I couldn't help but grin at all their happy wedding photos.

    But God was he wearing an ugly tux

    so, I write this because I'm glad that he got what he wanted, although I'm sad that he didn't realize his dream of getting married on his parents patio (they got married at a nice casual winery.)

    I hope he gets what he wants, in terms of wanting to get married to fix what he saw as the problems in his parents marriage. Obviously, it's more than that, since he's genuinely happy with this woman.

    but I remember when he was pressuring me about marriage and kids and how I kept telling him I didn't want that and he kept telling me I'd change my mind (this while he was initially dating this girl.) So I hope that at the deepest level he's marrying her because she's his soulmate rather than that he found a girl to love him completely and say yes, although that second one is nothing to sniff at.

    plus 24 just seems so young to get married though they've been dating for (I think) 2 and a half years.


    I hope they get their happy ending.

    and yet part of me hopes he realizes the part I felt he wanted more (if only he'd had the courage to pursue it): the life of the independent wood furniture making bachelor as opposed to the married engineer.

    ah well-- perhaps I'm just cynical about the chances any marriage has these days.

    mazel tov!

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    boy you and i are in opposite boats. my ex from 3 years ago is getting married to his ex fiance who cheated on him before we got together. we were together for 2 years, and he always said how he dispised her. she just moved back to the area and suprise! they rekindle and are now getting married in 2 weeks. this is all happening within the past 3 months.

    i hope it fails miserably, they both suck.

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    ^^^ LOL!

    well there's nothing about this girl that I can really hate, except she's got bad taste in superheroes (she's a total wonder woman fan, whereas I am a catwoman fan.)

    ....plus I could never really hate her because after a couple months of dating Danny she finally broke down and told him she'd been raped in high school.

    now-- I'm pissed she didn't go to the authorities because that means the guy is still out there likely doing it to other women, but that's probably the only thing I can dislike about her.

    and I know it's kind of warped, but I think women who've had something so atrocious happen deserve to be with the good guys.

    Danny is that. I mean, granted, he didn't have the balls to realize his big dream, but perhaps this really became his big dream-- and Lord knows he's conventional and needs the love of a good woman.

    still-- it's weird to think of people my age or younger getting married. I mean, I've got a dog. I can't imagine taking care of a husband. at least I can send mine off to daycare or the pet hotel when I just need to thelma and louise it-- or, take him with me and I get to

    pick the radio stations
    the hotels
    the food
    the destinations

    though Danny was really good when you got him around a dining table.
    I wonder if they've christened their dining table (evil giggle.)

    I think his alter ego independent businessman self and I would have been the perfect couple, except he liked tuna out of the can.

    GROSS!!

  4. #4
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    I had similar thoughts when my ex got married. He really is an awesome guy and now he's got just what he always wanted - married to his high school sweetheart, beautiful daughter, house in the suburbs built to their plan, great career he enjoys. I'm happy it worked out for him, but I'm bummed that his wife is such a jealous ninny because I never get to talk to him anymore. I don't know why she feels threatened by me, I'm obviously the last person in the world who wants him! Oh well.

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    lol-- i just thought about this... somehow i'm doubting he got a stripper for his bachelor's party. it'd hit too close to home because of who he was dating before her i'm evil.

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    God/dess leilanicandy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    You know I hope he is also happy! Toddles to you for not being jealous! You must not be all that evil.
    If you want the present to be differant from the past, study the past.
    Baruch Spindza

    It is what it is, not what you want it to become, that's important -- at least for now. Today, remember that things worth having are worth waiting for!
    The Stars

    Minds are like parachutes: They only function when open.
    Thomas Dewar

    Dont throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.
    Swedish Proverb

  7. #7
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    Good for you, hon. You have a big heart.


    I was happy for my ex who beat his drug problem (I found out through the magic of Internet sneakery.) I still can't stand my last ex though. OH well, baby steps.

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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    Curious post, thanks. Yeah, it takes balls to explore life. To others it's natural.
    I nearly jumpted into similar situation but jumped out of it soon enough. Illusions or assumptions are pleasing to have, but somebody has to check with the reality. I thought I was a home boy, or a shy kid, I thought I was an introvert, well that was until I started routinely going out and finding that I am actually not :-) Apparently I am unhappy at home, I would go out 24/7 if I could, and I am not shy at all. I am just "unexplored" and "assumed", "inexperienced". It's bizzare to find out something completely opposite of your own personality. And it's a lot of fun to actually start living instead of planning and thinking "if I can only get 1 woman. If we could only do this, or that.It's annoying". But geez was it difficult in the beginning. Like fighting a force field. Anyway. Really niceness, shyness are a form of fear/protection from an illusionary enemy. Noone cares. Home boy thinks the opposite all the time, he is like abducted or something. That scared me a lot when I realized it and that's what stopped me. Noone cares.

    A lot of my gf are getting married, I am happy for them if they are happy.

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    Quote Originally Posted by leilanicandy View Post
    You know I hope he is also happy! Toddles to you for not being jealous! You must not be all that evil.
    nah, it's not like I'm being big or anything. I can't really be jealous of marriage because as I always say, I wouldn't get near it without a damn his and hers duplex. Plus, at the time he and I was together...there were hints that he was way too small-minded for me... like how he kept saying I wanted to get married and how I'd change my mind about kids. Um, no.

    it seemed like to him everyone had to follow x,y,z steps even though privately he'd dream what it'd be like to make expensive wooden furniture and have a nice house and be a bachelor.

    plus it was so long ago and I was such a different person.
    and, looking at the wedding pictures, he looks different to me--
    like still a little kid-- like he needs to "fill out" a bit.

    so it's hard for me to take him seriously as a man.

    but then, I think they both have what it takes if they so desire to really make it work knowing what I know about them. They're both even tempered. I just hope she doesn't let him get too complacent since that tended to be a problem for him.

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    Veteran Member winterrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    you are a more generous person than me to wish your ex well in his marriage.

    my ex, I would take out a a damn billboard if I could to warn other womena away from the abusive S.O.B.
    it has only taken a year, 2 restraining orders, a peacebond, getting him arrested twice, 6 court dates to get him to leave me and my husband alone.
    all the while he was seeing someone. crazy.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "I'm gonna have a drink and walk around, I got a lot to think about, oh yeah"---Concrete Blonde

  11. #11
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    Quote Originally Posted by winterrose View Post
    my ex, I would take out a a damn billboard if I could to warn other womena away from the abusive S.O.B.
    it has only taken a year, 2 restraining orders, a peacebond, getting him arrested twice, 6 court dates to get him to leave me and my husband alone.
    all the while he was seeing someone. crazy.
    Holy shit!


    I admire you for getting through that.

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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    Nice post.

    I have an ex that was a 'first' for many things and I wish him all the best. Apparently he's been going out with the same chick he started dating about 1-2 months after we broke up for good. At first it hurt because he was so quick about it, but then I relaxed. Who knows, maybe they were crushing on each other for a while. Who knows? He seems really happy and it takes quite a woman to put up with his weirdness! Maybe they'll marry, and if they do, I'll send them a gift or something

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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    Bizzare, man. Very bizzare.

    This x,y,z stuff is very counter productive. I know because that was part of my thinking at the time as well. But then reality check turned in:
    How could one know if this person is a good wife, girlfriend or just a friend, to push it on her? How could you tell?

    And it's a free world out there, everybody lives the way they choose to, me included, it's a chaos, it's not like it seams that it used to be 200 years ago, when everybody would follow similar paths, and lived in villages. People have ambitions, prejudices, things they want to acomplish, etc. It's not "oh, let's get married and we are stelled for life" nowadays, check the other thread about confession site, where a guy says he has everything like "a wife, a job, a house, kids" and he he is very unhappy, although he says he should be happy. You know. It's not that primitive.

    You know in a WW2 computer game, there was a scene, when a guy tries to jump out of a cover to help his fallen comarade, and the officer grabs him hard, stops him and says: "God gave you brains. I suggest you use it!"
    I love this phrase a lot. It's really the core of it all.

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    ^ you are so weird. not necessarily in a bad way, but in a way that makes me wish for hockey bobby to show up.

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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    I know :-) I love myself for that :-)

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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    Quote Originally Posted by fancygirl View Post
    ah well-- perhaps I'm just cynical about the chances any marriage has these days.
    Me too. I always want to say "I'm so sorry!" when I hear people are getting married. And I always do congratulate people when they announce they are getting a divorce, lol!
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Benediction to my ex who just got married

    ^ it's hard to take any marriage seriously when the groom was badgering me about marriage and children when he was three months into dating his future wife.

    We all KNOW when people are ready to get married they will hopefully find a likeminded individual to share their life and responsibilities with, and yet it's hard to let go of that idea of there's that one person out there for all of us (or, ammended slightly: there's one person out there for each of us at each point of our life.)

    so I hope that she turned out to be that one person for him forever, and not just because I said there wasn't a chance in hell I was going to get married and have kids. I hope this is a good decision for Danny and for her, and I hope to hell that if it isn't that kids aren't part of it (although, perhaps kids wouldn't be a bad thing since I'm sure they'd both make great parents.)

    -shrug- how can we ever dissect another's love life. Our own are confusing enough.

    but it does make me feel better that he looked like a dork in his photos though he's too skinny-- she needs to feed him!

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