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Thread: Is this normal or is this woman neurotic?

  1. #1
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Is this normal or is this woman neurotic?

    I have sort of made friends with a girl from school who is/was an esthiology student. She just graduated last week. She's 42 and single. She asks me to do things with her a couple times a week but because she lives about 40 miles from me and about 20 miles from the school I can't do it all the time. Plus I just don't like being up anyone's ass. I enjoy my "alone" time.

    Well, when we go out she is EXTREMELY nitpicky and critical. She talks pretty bad about some of the girls at school that aren't like her which I try to overlook. But when we go to the restaurant and we do go to some nice ones, she's always asking if the ingredients are fresh. Like when she orders a margarita she asks for it a certain way and has sent a couple back. When we order wine she always asked for a bottle that has been opened that day. She is vegetarian which I respect because I eat all veggies except fish and occasionally chicken. But she complained that her salad had too many olives or we didn't get enough appetizer. Just every little thing. She finds fault in everything. I think she really means well but she likes things a certain way and expects it. It wears me down though when people complain a lot. My grandmother complains a lot but I deal with it because she's old and plus she's my grandma. I mean some things I understand but I feel as though she goes overboard with it. She even criticized me for returning a guy's phone call while we were together. Now she wants me to go out-of-town with her. I don't think I can stand it for a weekend. She called me at 8am this morning ready to make plans.

    Anybody else have experiences with people who complain a lot or are just very critical in general? How should I deal? Should I just be upfront with her like she is to others?

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal or is this woman neurotic?

    I've got to admit for food I sometimes seem overbearing. It's hard to maintain kosher and sometimes I -have- to say, "Look, dairy is milk. Does this have MILK products? Mayo, depending on type, is a milk product and ranch dressing is... so I have to ask again, does this have milk in it?" Because if I'm not specific I get a freakin' chicken burger with 'I thought it wasn't dairy' yoghurt on it!!

    BUT if it's not about specific dietary needs, yeah she might be a bit neurotic. I feel bad that her life is so boring she can't even be happy with the good things in life. Oh well, can't cry over nitpicked milk.


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  3. #3
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Is this normal or is this woman neurotic?

    Why are you asking? That's her personality. No one says you have to hang out with her if she bugs you, but she's been that way for 42 years and I'm sure she's not about to change now.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal or is this woman neurotic?

    ^I know but she asks me to do things with her more than I want to. Plus she calls me everyday. I don't want to blow her off but I don't really want to be that type of friend to her either.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal or is this woman neurotic?

    Just say that then.

    My grandmother always said if you don't want to do something say "I don't want to"... who the fuck can argue with that?


    Look like a woman
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    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  6. #6
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Is this normal or is this woman neurotic?

    When you feel like hanging out with her, then hang out with her. When you don't, then don't. You don't owe her any explanation other than "sorry, I have other plans." She's not your boss or your mom.

  7. #7
    Featured Member short skirts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal or is this woman neurotic?

    How can you have a good time with someone who seems to bring you down more often than not?

    Some people are so miserable with themselves that they must find fault in other things to make them feel better about themselves.

    As far as the complaining in restaurants, that just becomes embarrassing.

    And people wonder why their food gets spit in. Not that that's right but it does happen.

    I almost never complain in restaurants, I just don't go back.

    It sounds like you'd be setting yourself up for a miserable weekend if you go with her.

    At least you don't complain to yourself........

    Good luck with that situation.

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    Veteran Member TheLioness's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal or is this woman neurotic?

    I know that I would not be able to be around someone who complains that much. I don't think it's normal lol. She also sounds like she's really lonely. I agree with the others...just tell her you already have plans

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    Default Re: Is this normal or is this woman neurotic?

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    ^I know but she asks me to do things with her more than I want to. Plus she calls me everyday. I don't want to blow her off but I don't really want to be that type of friend to her either.
    Misery loves company...

    I think you're right, she just the kind of person who actively looks for flaws in everything and everyone- very draining. Like everyone else said, tell her you have other plans.

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    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal or is this woman neurotic?

    Yeah no..that would drive me CRAZY. I would start calling her Sally(you know...from when Harry met Sally...but I want the pie HEATED and blah blah blah)

    Dont go out to eat with her anymore if you dont like this part of her personality. Try just going to the park or something...and if you cant find anything she doesnt complain about...just stop hanging out with her. If you are "busy" enough times...she might get the hint

    Quote Originally Posted by lexilou View Post
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  11. #11
    Senior Member Daniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal or is this woman neurotic?

    Yep.

    My girlfriend really wanted to go to Russia in June, so I said I would go, but she would have to plan everything because I wouldn't have time to during the school term. I used to call her my wife because she makes the plans and I show up. (Note: I let her make the plans so there is minimal complaining)

    So I said email me the numbers, dates and what you want to do, I will look over it. I pretty much agreed to everything she wanted to do on the trip.

    Come June before we leave she picks a fight with me that I don't do anything and that I don't care. I was shocked since she wanted to go so bad and I handed over my card and said "what ever you want to do, as long as we go with a legit travel agency." ( oh she paid for herself). I mean seriously, this trip would not have happened if I was active in the planning..we'd never agree.

    -OK, The night before we leave, she calls me and I'm out with the bf and she starts screaming at me because I hadn't packed yet. Um it doesn't take me 24 hours to pack for ten days...mom

    - The bf was going to have a car pick us up and take us to the airport. He suggested that we leave three hours early with traffic. I text my friend that..and she shoots back "NO, I am not leaving at that time." Well alrighty then.

    -The car arrives on time and is sitting front of her work. She call me screaming like a crazy person because she can't find the car, but it was in front of her face. um..Ask the driver who he is picking up?

    - We get to the airport and lose our seats together but are lucky to have seats. She yells at the ticket lady and blames the car service and me because she had to pick me up 4 blocks down, for losing our seats... OK she wanted to leave 1.5 hours before the friggin plane left

    This whole time I'm calm..

    -So we first go to St. Petersburg..and everything was complain, complain, nag, nag, nag. I have no idea why because we are doing exactly what she wanted to do. You want to go to the opera..ok me too, you want to see Bob dylan..I'm there, this restaurant, that museum,...YES...YES...YES..dear. But it wasn't good enough..always had to complain about service, even if I wanted to have coffee and read the paper --by myself, THAT was an issue for her. I was getting pissed because she would insult me over trivial things..(I don't know about you girls but I save my ammo for the finale..)

    SHE IS CONTROLLING....anyway

    We had a huge blowout after the ballet, it was really bad and we said awful things to each other. Didn't make up until we got to Moscow.

    I basically told her that I have been too nice to her and she has to stop putting me in this role. She screams at me as if I'm her sucker boyfriend (or girlfriend< I brought that up in our fight) and I was put here on earth to make her happy. Also that she never has anything positive to say about anything, and that to her everyone has a problem, they have to change > but her. That is why she is miserable.

    I mean she did a great job with the trip, and I told her that. I was very impressed with the travel agency. We love art and history so that part was amazing.


    I feel really bad about HOW i told her she was getting on my last nerve, but she had to hear it.

    I dunno..she is very set in her ways, but she won't be happy until realize how difficult she is and changes..

  12. #12
    Veteran Member sexystephani's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal or is this woman neurotic?

    She sounds pretty neurotic.

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