I tell NOBODY that I strip, except my b/f and one of my oldest, coolest girl friends.
Half the time, he (b/f) doesn't want to hear about it, so I end up feeling emotionally constipated. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MY JOB, in fact how can you refrain?
So... one night/morning I came home from work. I was alone. Oh, so liberatingly alone... yet so suffocatingly lonely.
Before I knew it, I was on Craig's List posting in the "Strictly Platonic women for men section."I went to the guy's section b/c I knew I'd be judged less. I needed to write something purging, I had no plan, just started typing that I was up so late and something like, "I am very confused and lost...on the pinnical of a breakthrough...etc." I left it very short and mysterious. It wasn't to be a rant. (no pics posted, of course)
10 minutes later, my mailbox was flooded with responses which I mostly read and ignored... except for one that I was strangely drawn to. So, I wrote the guy back and forth a couple times until he asked if he could call me if I needed to chat.
I NEVER DO THIS, but I felt that it was right.
He called me, I had planned to make it a very short convo, but we were really getting along (nothing perverted). Then he asked me why I was up so late. I said I had been working. He asked what I did.
A rush of freedom and anonymity produced a very frank and unhesitated, "I AM A STRIPPER! I DANCE! I GET PRACTICALLY NAKED...FOR $$!!!" (Well, it wasn't that psycho sounding, but that's how intense it felt for me).
I was in love with myself at that moment. I had never, ever, replied to that question before with complete pride and fearlessness.
He turned out to be AWESOME, didn't change his behavior toward me, and asked me very intelligent and genuine questions about my job. I never told him where i worked, besides he claimed he knew nothing of SCs; not a big fan. But he asked me EVERY SINGLE QUESTION that I had been dying to answer: all the dynamics, intricacies, psycological components. He asked about my feelings about what I do, who I meet, how it affects me, and I was in confession heaven.
He made me feel so human and normal, as if I were discussing a job which I had not, for so long, been trying to hide, lie about, while in dread of the judgement and rumors I'd suffer should someone find out about my "secret." I could not have found a person more perfect to converse with. Everything came pouring from me, I was raining, and he listened to all of it.
We ended up on the phone for over an hour. He asked me for nothing. I hung up with him feeling lighter, smiling, and 100% purified, like the human I deserve to feel like.
He never called me again. He was my perfect antidote for the sickness that was inside of me that morning. And nothing else.
And he will never know exactly how much our discourse meant to me.
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j
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Wow.........that sounds really cool.........I would feel a lot more liberated too

Sometimes that's just what you need.



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