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Thread: Should He stay with me or should we part?

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    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Should He stay with me or should we part?

    ok here is the situation

    I've parted from my boyfriend once before because I was trying to please his mother and (im crying right now thinking about this) as I let o of his hand and got on the plane it felt like my soul got ripped away I couldn't stop crying for a long time...no i cried every day for a month until I was back in his arms I love this man to death with every piece of my heart and soul and mind

    this is why im willing to make this sacrifice if its whats best for him

    His mother doesn't want him to be with me...well she doesn't want him to be with anyone. but really not me because I'm a strong woman unlike her but thats another story

    he has a scholarship for football and his coaches want him to live w a teamate and not with me because he has used me as an excuse for missing practice which then is technically not because of me

    I just dont want him to loose his scholarship because of me
    lose his family because of me...you know

    I really need your help in deciding what I should do

    I really really really love this man but everyone around him is telling him not to be w me and i think its starting to effect him... and i dont want to be selfish so I want his heart and mind to line up and im not sure him being w me is the logical thing

    I have to repeat this 1 more time as I cry...i love this man to death would give anything for his happiness and to be with him but im finding that in this situation I can't have my cake and eat it too

    so do you think he should stay with me?
    or leave me and come back after he takes care of school?

    mind u hes not done w school till 2 more years my heart really can't wait that long :*(

    I'm so confused and so is he so i need other opinions on what he and i should do please help


    wait have to add this other thing...His bitch of a mother is coming to visit tomorrow aka going to probably come to my house...what do I do? how do i refrain from not putting a bullet in between the eyes of someone that I hate and that hates me and that is stopping me from getting what I want?

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    This story looks like it's up to him to decide.


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    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    it is but what I want to know is...if it was up to you what would u do? what do u think is best? im not asking for decisions just opinions

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    I would wait things through and spend every moment I could with him so I would at least have the memories if he didn't pick me, honestly.


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    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    I know and it kills me because I have to work long hours and when im at work is when he is home and when im home is when he is at school we only get a cpl hrs a day so it hurts me so damn bad just thinking about holding on to the memories

    i hate his mom and coaches for putting this shit in his head honestly

    because tomorrow is not promised to noone how the hell can u tell someone ill see u in a cpl months? what if their dead? what if u r? why r people willing to speak so freely like time is promised? i hate it

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    if the mom is the only issue then eff that, stay with him. shes gonna have to get over it.

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    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    Thanks for that 1 now how do I act when i finally come face to face w the woman i hate and that hates me? what do i say/do?

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    Veteran Member MissDewdrop's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    Going off of what Lysondra said, can you guys work through a long-distance relationship? He can still play football and attend college, live with the mate, and then see you when possible. Talk to him and let him know that you love him, that you're willing to be supportive of his scholarship and such. Ask him what he wants. If he wants to be with you, he should disregard and mitigate what his coach and mom think. In other words, support one another so you both do what you must, and make the necessary concessions so no one pays too high a price.

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    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    Your so right. so I just asked him he says he wants to be w me he just doesn't think its logical right now...but he has followed his heart with me so far and it hasnt went wrong so why should he stop

    ^i love him lol but seriously That would kill me but it makes sense to try it if it would be best for him

    I just say fuck his mom and coaches all together because you cant live your life for someone else but...in this situation those ppl do matter to him in his life

    but yeah we dont have much time to think which is why im trying to gather as much as i can and tell him as much as i can and help him make a decision

    I'm trying not to cry as i talk 2 him about it i really want his decision to be real and not out of sympathy for me u know

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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    This really isn't your decision, as others have said in here. If you two really want to be together, family will have to live with your decision. When I first got married my parents weren't very fond of my husband. They still aren't really, but they want me to be happy so they try to be friendly for my sake. Maybe your BF's mom will have to suck it up so that her son can be happy.

    Maybe you could sit her down just you and her and have a woman to woman talk. Explain how great her son is, how happy you two make each other. Ask her why she is not fond of the idea of you. Who knows, if you make an effort without attacks to talk to her, she might (or might not) become more amendable.

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    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    ive done that...the very first time we ever spoke...then after what i thought was a great conversation she goes and tells her son i said things i didnt say and trys to make me out to be the devil...

    I hate to see him looking so sad right now like he has the weight of the world on him it sucks...

    i just gave him 3 options

    1.us to stay together fuck everyone and work it out where w give ppl nothing negative to say about us

    2. us to do the long distance relationship him move in with a teamate and we visit when we can

    3.we totally part because even though we love eachother it isnt whats best for him at this point

    I really hope he picks number one but you never ever know so..ill just sit cry hope pray and wait

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    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    he decided we should stay together and work it out and there will be no problems

    I told him not to work or anything just to focus on school and football and ill take care of all the bills

    so i will be on sw a hel of a lot more often looking for ways to make big money to take care of our situation and as far as his mom goes im willing to do whatever i ahve to do in order to make my relationship w her at least neutral for his sake

    thats it thanks everyone for your input

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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    I'm glad things are working out for you guys, you sound like your really in love.

    I hope you don't mind me asking but why are you volunteering to shoulder all the bills? Can't he afford to go to college and pay his share of the bills at the same time? Is it because you feel guilty for all the hassle your relationship is causing him? I think its really great and generous of you to offer this for him but just be sure you can manage it and you're doing it for the right reasons. What about your life? Do you really want to be stripping 5 nights a week to make sure he gets through college? You have to make sure your looking after yourself as well as him.



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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    I'm surprised no one commented on this-but if hte reason his coach doesnt like him is because he blamed a few missed practices on you(not true) then shouldn't it be resolved if he just mans up to it, says "its NOT her, i got side tracked" and accepts responsibility for the error?

    You shoudl NOT blame yourself because he used you as the "easy way out" of a commitment or lecture.

    Its a situation HE brought down on HIMSELF. Its not right of him to act like its YOUR fault and you are endangering his future and imposing on him because of it.

    If a guy did that to me, I'd have him at the curb faster than you can say "love you". That's just manipulative, and not respectful. He controls his own actions, and to blame and penalize you for them is NOT the actions of a true lover.
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    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    Quote Originally Posted by Polekitten View Post
    I'm glad things are working out for you guys, you sound like your really in love.

    I hope you don't mind me asking but why are you volunteering to shoulder all the bills? Can't he afford to go to college and pay his share of the bills at the same time? Is it because you feel guilty for all the hassle your relationship is causing him? I think its really great and generous of you to offer this for him but just be sure you can manage it and you're doing it for the right reasons. What about your life? Do you really want to be stripping 5 nights a week to make sure he gets through college? You have to make sure your looking after yourself as well as him.

    You are so right and thats what he said what about your life? i feel like im strong enough of a woman to be able to handle it all no matter how hard it gets. I just dont want him to lose his nfl dreams and it be my fault u know that would really suck so for now i have no problem taking care of me he has taken care of me when he had to

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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    i must be missing something bc i dont understand why it would be a "long distance" relationship if he lives with his teammate instead of you. i mean, obviously he has to live near his school.. so if you dont live there you cant ask him not to live by school.

    but are you calling it long distance just bc you arent LIVING together? im either really missing something or really dont understand bc im confused.

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    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    yes u are confused let me educate u really quick!

    it would end up having to be long distance...why? because I would have to move back to where im originally from which is ny...why? because I dont have a license and don't know how to drive...so I would be depending on cabs and thats not good for me or smart for me in vegas...

    im not some crazy phsyco bitch who can live down the block from my man and call it "long distance" hurts me to think u would think so lol j/k

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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    ok.. so im trying to understand. what state does he go to school in? new york?

    this sounds like a very complicated situation...

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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    why not just get your license? it's probably easier than a long distance relationship

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    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    we both live in vegas right now together if he were to decide for us to part for the better of his career or whatever i would have to move to ny there is no way i can get my permit and lic in a cpl days there is no way in the hell

    but if u read upward u will see that he decided that we should work it out and prove to everyone were meant to be and we can do it

    thanks for ur input tho

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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    no i understand that youre staying together. i just dont understand why you couldnt live apart in vegas. just because of the driving thing? did you move to vegas just for him?

    also (out of curiousity) how/where did you meet him? and how old are you?

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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    Ok. I'm an older chick.
    I say if he doesn't have a spine to stand up for you- then walk.
    He already doesn't have a spine if he is blaming missing practice on you.
    If he truly loves you he will do these things and come up with a win -win situation.
    If not.
    No good.

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    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    no i understand that youre staying together. i just dont understand why you couldnt live apart in vegas. just because of the driving thing? did you move to vegas just for him?

    also (out of curiousity) how/where did you meet him? and how old are you?
    yes because of the driving thing...we met on myspace actually were talking for a while then decided we needed to be together im 21 hes 22 we have the same birthday he wanted to move to ny for me but there r no good college football teams in ny so I offered to move to vegas and honestly it was the best decision of my life I was always a happy person but he takes my happiness to totally different level

    and yes it wouldve been just because of the driving thing I cant depend on cabs out here i tried it onceit really really doesn't work for me because when emergencys come up ok example im allergic to peppers and i ate something that had them in it and i needed to be rushed to the hospital the ambulance was taking waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long and cabs wouldnt pick me up off of the street it really was an awful situation so having a car is much better for me because i never know when ill need it

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    It's really sad that you'd give up a relationship that means this much to you because you don't like waiting for cabs. It's vegas. Tell them you're going to a strip club and you'll have six at your door in four minutes. Then tip them.


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    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Should He stay with me or should we part?

    when did i say id gie it up? i wouldnt give it up...it would just have to be long distance

    but everything is fine right now so can someone remind me why were still even on the topic

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