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Thread: Validation and stripping

  1. #1
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Validation and stripping

    I didn't know where to put this so I thought since I don't dance anymore I'd put it here.

    I was pretty much a geek throughout highschool, I wasn't very "pretty" or popular with the boys. When I started dancing I felt "pretty" and sexy for the first time in my life. I gained the confidence and charisma I lacked before. Now that I no longer dance I don't feel attractive anymore. Just like tonight I went out with my friends and I feel like guys don't pay me attention or look at me anymore. I feel like going back to dancing just so I can feel desired again. Every relationship I have been in my partner has cheated on me. I guess when I finally find the confidence within myself is when I'll feel complete regardless of whether anyone looks at me twice or not.

    Does anybody get where I'm coming from or ever experienced the same thing?

  2. #2
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Validation and stripping

    I sort of get it but IMO only go back to stripping if there are other side benefits (like the extra money, the physical work out, alleviating boredom, etc.) I say this because all the girls who mostly danced for "affirmation" became pains in the ass to work with.....It wasn't healthy because even in the dumpiest club, you still have competition......I never felt hotter in the club because I was competing with 2-20 other women who were just as attractive and motivated as myself. The girls who get hung up on that become bitches. Just my experience.

    Edit to add- you could get the same or more attention working as a part-time bartender....The last time I "hustled" a guy off the clock for shoots and giggles at a bar, he let me know he only came to that particular restaurant to try to score with the female bartender.......This is soooo common.

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    Veteran Member renaissance's Avatar
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    Default Re: Validation and stripping

    Awwww, I know it's probably different for girls but I wasn't popular in HS either and have struggled with self-confidence issues myself though as I was pretty socially awkward. And since I'm not a dancer I can't say much about that but in any case it does sound like you need a hug!
    Conducting myself in a terribly sexy fashion on and

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    Featured Member glitzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Validation and stripping

    i know i'm pretty but because of my eccentricities & social awkwardness i never have been outgoing or "popular." it's hard for me to make friends, & i have self esteem issues because of this...

    at first dancing seemed to help but now it is only making it worse! getting hit on by losers all day long & then struggling to find anyone i acutually like & then, when i do, not being able to tell them how i feel has made me feel extremely insecure.



    dancing makes me feel like a worthless object. i WISH i could get a confidence boost off of it.

  5. #5
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Validation and stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by renaissance View Post
    Awwww, I know it's probably different for girls but I wasn't popular in HS either and have struggled with self-confidence issues myself though as I was pretty socially awkward. And since I'm not a dancer I can't say much about that but in any case it does sound like you need a hug!

    Thank you, I needed that.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Validation and stripping

    Yeah, I've always kind of felt socially awkward too. I never stayed in dancing just for the attention. And the competition wasn't my biggest complaint. I stayed in dancing not because it was my goal career choice but because I made damn good money and I didn't have to surcome to a schedule.

    I wouldn't go back just because I felt sexy but for the money as well of course. Now with the recession and all I can't say the money alone would even make it worth it.

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    Veteran Member renaissance's Avatar
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    Default Re: Validation and stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    Thank you, I needed that.
    You're welcome!!! The first hug was on the house but I'm going to have to charge if you want any more. haha
    Conducting myself in a terribly sexy fashion on and

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    Veteran Member TheLioness's Avatar
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    Default Re: Validation and stripping

    I know it won't mean anything coming from me, but I think you are very pretty and always have been. But I understand what you're saying. I think being shy makes you feel more insecure, generally speaking of course.

    As far as the dancing goes...when I finally stopped, the money was horrible! I know it was because of the economy, but it certainly did nothing for the ego. I knew I had to stop right then before I started thinking I'm old, I'm ugly, I'm sagging, etc lol. Of course that was 2 years ago, things may have changed since then as far as money in the clubs.

    "I guess when I finally find the confidence within myself is when I'll feel complete regardless of whether anyone looks at me twice or not."

    Yes, get the "I just don't give a fuck" attitude. It will come eventually. I was told that over and over and never thought it was possible, but it can happen. Once you start thinking like that, it makes life a lot easier. Also, once you develop that attitude, guys will remind you of flies...they keep swarming around you but you just wish they would go the fuck away. I think guys/girls can sense when someone is *looking* for a partner, and they can sense when someone is not looking. When someone is not looking, it makes it a chase, which they will always fall for...something they can't have.

  9. #9
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Validation and stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by TheLioness View Post
    Yes, get the "I just don't give a fuck" attitude. It will come eventually. I was told that over and over and never thought it was possible, but it can happen. Once you start thinking like that, it makes life a lot easier. Also, once you develop that attitude, guys will remind you of flies...they keep swarming around you but you just wish they would go the fuck away. I think guys/girls can sense when someone is *looking* for a partner, and they can sense when someone is not looking. When someone is not looking, it makes it a chase, which they will always fall for...something they can't have.
    It's true...I wish Life made more sense but it seems like the things you want will come to you when you're not looking........

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    Default Re: Validation and stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by TheLioness View Post
    I think guys/girls can sense when someone is *looking* for a partner, and they can sense when someone is not looking. When someone is not looking, it makes it a chase, which they will always fall for...something they can't have.
    Remeber that movie Singles? Best line ever, "desperation is the worlds worst cologne." Not saying that anyone here is desperate, but much like neediness, people can smell negativity from a mile away.

    green, you're a doll. As soon as you realize & really start beleiving how kick ass you are, the fuck-it-I'm-on-my-own-agenda attitude will come and guys will come out of the woodwork. Seriously. There's something about a confident woman who doesn't need or really want a man that drives the boys crazy.

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    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Validation and stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by TheLioness View Post
    I know it won't mean anything coming from me, but I think you are very pretty and always have been.


    Awww, thanks

  12. #12
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Validation and stripping

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M View Post
    Remeber that movie Singles? Best line ever, "desperation is the worlds worst cologne." Not saying that anyone here is desperate, but much like neediness, people can smell negativity from a mile away.

    green, you're a doll. As soon as you realize & really start beleiving how kick ass you are, the fuck-it-I'm-on-my-own-agenda attitude will come and guys will come out of the woodwork. Seriously. There's something about a confident woman who doesn't need or really want a man that drives the boys crazy.
    Thanks for the kind words, you guys are right and it's not that I am "looking" but I just like a little attention sometimes.

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    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: Validation and stripping

    i am afraid of this happening to me. i quit for a week and was so depressed and felt so ugly when i sprained my ankle. i crave being in the club.

    i was the goth kid that had no friends in school and i have dadfdy issues so im sure that can be attributed to it.

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