i don't want to see a psychiatrist, i just want to go to a therapist.
my insurance will not cover it at all, and i dont wanna pay like crazy. but these sliding scale people, what do i tell them?! i mean, i cant say "oh i'm a stripper and i blah blah but i cant afford to pay you more" because really, i CAN afford it and i did pay $100 a session first every week then every other week for a few months when i saw a woman after my dui. i just would rather not have that added expense.
i need to find someone good. the first guy i saw was HORRIBLE, ive posted about him before so i wont go into too much detail but he basically told me stripping would ruin me, when i mentioned that my mom and i had already discussed medication and i did NOT want to go that route at that point (this was 2 years ago), he said "well your parents must love you if they're worried about that, but they still allowed you to work at hooters?" and i walked out the door with a script for paxil even though i was very adamant about NOT wanting drugs. he was very judgemental.
i genuinely liked my therapist i saw after my dui. it was court ordered but i was happy to be going to someone. but.. she didn't do anything for me. she agreed with everything i said. like literally, everything. it was like i could do no wrong. that's not helpful. when i asked her about how long i would be seeing her, since i had to tell my probation officer, she said we could have 1 more session and be finished because "well, you have anxiety issues, but those are just going to be there." um, ok. i have a feeling she didn't like me.
so. how do i find a good one? it's time. i have enough issues and it's issue enough that i can write you a book of my flaws and crazy things i do but I DONT EVEN WANT TO CHANGE. i just dont want to go through (and honestly with my schedule i dont have the time) a million people, spending money, and getting frustrated and giving up.



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