I'm working my way through the 1,000 Things To Do Before You Die, and one of them is to date/fuck a hot stripper. To me, "hot stripper" means a brunette 18-25 y/o, between 5'2" and 5'6", slim build with largish natural breasts -- so if you can help me nail someone within those parameters, that'd be great, kthx.
I'm older, not particularly attractive (I wasn't even attractive when I was younger, and it's only gone downhill), not much money to lavish on anyone (paying for it wouldn't count anyway), and I don't have traditional "game" with the fairer sex. I don't own a guitar, and have no hair to thrash while head-banging, but I can still play my tuba pretty well. I don't have muscles and my penis is merely average-sized. I do have a big heart and a lot of love to give.
And oh, I'm married, so this all has to be on the downlow.
Knowing my goal and what I have to work with, what are the magic words? Cmon ladies, give it up, I need the Keys to the Kingdom, the Double Secret Password. I know it's out there somewhere. Help a brotha out.



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why is it all the good ones are taken? and dont like fake boobs?....

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