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Thread: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

  1. #1
    Newbie BustyBlackBabe's Avatar
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    Default Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    alrite ladies,
    I finally got hired to work at the best club in my city where then girls earn alot of money and the girls are considered to be "lookers" meaning the mangers only hires women he feels are attractive enough for his club the only problem that is making me NOT want to work there is that my boyfriends EX girlfirend recently stared working there! (and apparently she is one of the top earners!) when she sees me around town she just prentends not to and sticks her nose in the air,and I do the same thing and its akward but we never had any confrontations...now I think its going to be fucking hell working at the same club as her! I dont want it to feel like a competition between us at work, plus I feel like Im moving on to HER TERRITORY because she was there first! she knows the girls, the Dj the door man etc...and I will be the new girl!!! nobody likes the new girls...am I over reacting? what should I do when I start working there? try to be nice to her? or continue to just ignore her bitch ass?

    oh and where both black, and where Im from the only hire a like 2-3 black girls per shift so there always competition between the black girls... now I feel with her it will be 100% WORSE!!!


    I need advice plese ladies!!!

  2. #2
    God/dess CKXXX's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    Is there a schedule? Maybe you can make sure you 2 arent working the same shifts?

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    Senior Member haleym's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    Just make sure you aren't letting her mess with your money!! I would ignore her unless she tries to talk to you. I had to dance at a club with my boyfriend (now ex) who was bouncing and the dancer he screwed while we were broken up... Trust me it could be worse!

  4. #4
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    Continue to ignore her and you should be fine. Also, you should do your best to get "in" with the staff at the club--always be polite, courteous and respectful and tip well!

  5. #5
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Glamazon View Post
    Continue to ignore her and you should be fine. Also, you should do your best to get "in" with the staff at the club--always be polite, courteous and respectful and tip well!
    Exactamuno. The other above posters have fine advice as well. I have a similar issue- it sucks.

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    Newbie BustyBlackBabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    thanks ladies. Im going to see if Ican work a different shift as he, if not im going to try my best to ignore her.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    That's all you got to do. You should be to busy making money than worrying about if she's checking up on you. Good luck!

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    Default Re: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    So, honeslty, while ignoring her may work for a while... eventually you may actually have to SPEAK to her, especially if you end up working the same shifts & she's an alpha dog as you say. Nothing big, not deep conversations of course... but completely snubbing her everytime is a little different than ignoring. At least in my opinion it's much more rude/childish to completely, delibertely, ignore somebody when they already know you've seen/noticed them. I'd at least maybe give the really small "hi" smile every now & again... if she doesn't like it, TOUGH. You're the mature, adult... she's the ex-girlfriend.

    I can understand how it can be intimidating being the new meat in her stomping ground, but whatever you do, DO NOT let her catch wind of this. If she truly doesn't like, she will probabaly make things difficult... but if there is no animosity besides the fact that she is your boyfriend's ex... who cares. You're with him now, he's with you. She's old news.

    Unless there is some underlying story, like she still wants him... I'd say your A ok, do your thing, make your money & don't give it a second thought.

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    Veteran Member Persona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    Ok so she hasn't tried to fuck with you so she may not give 2 shits that you're with him now. Some women are catty bitches with their ex's current and some are cool. She may have moved on so maybe she doesn't hold any animosity towards you. If she hasn't given you the side eye maybe she's just cool with things but doesn't quite want to buddy up. Just be cool. Fuck it. Things will pan out as they may but don't be awkward and allow it to be an issue.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    My best friend went thru the same situation. The other dancer was also his baby's mother. They were civil to each other but it's a less than ideal situation.

    The other girl left and my friend was very glad.
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    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

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    Senior Member Daniela's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    If there are no confrontations, than it should be fine. I think you are both sticking your noses up in passing because you both are probably on guard. Maybe in a few weeks smile at her. I mean, you don't have to be BF with her, but at least be cordial so your work experience is pleasant. What ever happened between the girl and your boyfriend is not your fault.

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    Default Re: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    I experienced something similar, but no one told me....my intuition started telling me something was off the first week I worked. When the boyfriend pulled into the parking lot at the end of my shift (I didn't know he had, but I guess the door guy recognized him) I was sealing a price on a dance cuz I had one more girl before I was on main stage. All of a sudden they call me up and magically they open up this side stage which hadnt been open all night and I have to go straight onto that and this girl(friend) goes on main stage instead of me. I'm thinking "oh. ok it's a little busier so they opened up the side stage"....but immediately after my song they turned off the lights for the stage. So I'm smelling something fishy as the dj mumbles some lame excuse as to why they did that as I'm staring at the now dark stage trying to hint that I know they cockblocked me. Later I pieced it all together.
    My advice is don't trust or tell any of the girls/staff that that's your boyfriend's ex because you just don't know who she's built ties/friendships with and who could be trying to get info out of you or get you to say something.. or what strings she can have pulled to screw you out of money or make it hell for you.
    Anyway, I don't think I'll be returning, partly cuz I don't have time for the drama, another part because I know I might want to ask her questions now that I know it's her and I know I need to let his past be his past, the main reason is because I went from being the party girl at the alcohol bikini bar who banks on fun and personality and talking to alot of customers to a quiet sober no alcohol "wanna dance" environment and I'm plain bored ...plus she already is a top earner and knows all the custie$ with cash, but I'm not trying to ruin my love for dancing by trying to attack the one new custy an hour as he walks in the door and always be competing with her. Part of me wants to go back though just to prove that her little tactics didnt work and that I'm not a hater and that I can hustle just as hard, but like I said it'll prolly just make me bitter and mess with my "game".
    I'd say if the place is big enough (has enough girls and/or custies different areas/stages where you don't really have to be up on each other all shift then I'd stand your ground and make your money, but I agree to just be the bigger person and say hi to her ... realize that she's the ex and is prolly more intimidated by you because you're with the guy now... If I start getting intimidated by a girl who's hot and making all the money I just literally try not to watch it all night and focus on my own hustle and it's crazy but it works every time... they kind of just disappear. Maybe she'll decide to leave. I believe there's a reason for everything... maybe there's something to be learned from it, maybe you'll end up friends after a drunken night of work together... remember that she will always be connected to him thru the kid so if it ends up working between you and the boyfriend you'll have to figure out a common ground anyway with her, also you might just impress your boyfriend with how you handle the situation reaffirming why he is with you and not her now anyway. (sorry so long, I guess it just struck a chord with me) I did find another club, hopefully there's not another ex in there, or maybe I should be more cautious of a guy that dates too many strippers. Good luck, stand your ground and be the bigger person. look for the lesson, but don't dig for it or say too much.

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    Default Re: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    Oh I'm sorry I just reread your post and realized he doesnt have kids with her, that was another girl's situation.....sorry for the irrelevant advice.

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    Default Re: Dancing at teh same club as my mans EX!!!

    no prob, ur post helped me as well. thanks!

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