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Thread: I'm freaking out :(

  1. #1
    Featured Member Sveta's Avatar
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    Default I'm freaking out :(

    deleted because I'm paranoid about posting things with personal RL details. But I do very much appreciate everyone who took the time to listen.
    Last edited by Sveta; 07-10-2008 at 12:45 PM.
    ~'A Seven Nation Army Couldn't Hold Me Back'~

  2. #2
    ajbaer
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    Default Re: I'm freaking out :(

    It's always hard to up and move.
    I can't give much advice about the audition other than to just go and do it. Easier said than done. I'm anxious about having to go back to dancing, and I have a jobbed lined up waiting for me that I can't get my ass INTO.
    I wish you the best of luck really. It's not easy , esp. with debt. Is there family that can help you? I am lucky enough to have a man in my life that loves me and is willing to support me the best he can. Even if that means not doing a bunch of fun stuff this summer due to finances.

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    Default Re: I'm freaking out :(

    There's always an adjustment period to moving, and especially when you do it alone across the country.

    I'm sure you'll start to feel more at home after a few weeks, and when school starts you'll meet new people. Don't despair.

    Go to work. Force yourself to just do it. At least then you'll have some sesne of normalcy by working at the SC.

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    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm freaking out :(

    hey--
    I was just where you were last week in terms of starting at a new club. I procrastinated for a whole week doing nothing, getting even more poor, not taking care of my first of the month debts and just dealing with general anxiety.

    of course the anxiety gets compounded the longer and longer you wait, and I just couldn't pull myself out of it as quickly as I normally do.

    So-- take a deep breath, stretch your body and know that once you start at your new club you're going to be fine. I love my new club and I wasn't expecting that at all because it's really rather podunk. but I love it.

    new things are scary.

    as far as friends are concerned I'd say reach out to the girls on here who are near your area, say, within an hour's radius.

    also, go to okcupid.com
    this is a dating site, but it'll give you an idea of the social stuff going on in your area of the world. plus-- you CAN meet same sex friends or opposite sex friends on there for platonic stuff.

    also, try craigslist.com in the platonic meet and greet area. email for awhile and then meet up for a bike ride, a potluck, or a cup of coffee.

    also, if you like animals, find your local rescue organizations and volunteer for them or for animal control. This is hands down (for me) the quickest way to snap myself out of depression and isolation.

    I also like finding funny odd stuff like trivia nights at the local pubs where you have to work with other people on games.

    I know where you're coming from because I also did exactly what you did a few years ago and upped and moved to a completely new area without knowing what was going to happen. It was definitely a learning experience, and personally I wish I had started doing all the stuff I suggested above the first week I got there. It might have been a totally different experience if I had. but I waited and then got sucked into making the internet my life-- which really fucked me up because instead of making friends with people in real time, I put a lot of energy into a relationship that I regretted ever since.

    So-- breath.

    and don't lose sight. you're going to be okay.

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    Default Re: I'm freaking out :(

    Trust me, Philly sucks. I'm not even going back there unless it changes for the better, magically. You won't be mauled in Denver from what I hear. And apparently there's money!

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    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm freaking out :(

    Remember too ... just because you don't know anyone doesn't mean you can't go out. Find "your " new coffee shop , " your " restaurants , go to museums ... go do whatever you want. When you find your places , your type of people will be there.

    That said ... I'm sorry you are feeling sad and lonely. You were brave to do this ! Don't give up yet. You could always try working at a regular bar too ... it might be a way to ease in to things. You don't have to work at an SC right away . I don't know what your hobbies and interests are , but Denver has a lot of offer all across the board.

    I truly feel for you. I travel a lot and if my trips run long ( over 5-6 days ), I start to get a little lonely and uneasy sometimes. I'm typing this from a tacky hotel room right now.

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    Featured Member Sveta's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm freaking out :(

    Thanks everyone, for wading through my drivel and taking the time to write.

    carmen: true...I can/should go exploring. As of now I haven't ventured more than five blocks away from my apartment. I did try to randomly find some place to buy costumes today...and didn't find anything, but accidentally stumbled on a Russian bookstore. Yay! lol it sounds silly, but browsing in there and making small talk made me feel a little bit more at home. Like, "look, Denver has a Russian bookstore, so it's not really a different planet after all!"

    RoseLeigh: thanks for the confirmation, lol. I actually did really like my club though...mostly because the girls/bouncers/DJs/managers were awesome, and I was actually friends with a lot of people there (which is rare for me at work). So yeah, it's more the people that I miss...and I did make good money there. (I just had to put up with a ton of crap from customers in order to make it.)

    But I'm probably going to be going back for a visit in Oct for family-related stuff, and I'll definitely be catching up with friends and will prob drop in and work a few days while I'm there...so I'm telling myself that that will be my reward for sticking it out here, finding a club and getting out of debt and making it work.

    fancygirl, thanks for the kick in the butt. You're right...running away when I haven't even given it a real try is a pussy (and financially stupid) move. And chances are, if I did go back now, halfway through my second shift at work I'd be thinking "wtf? This is what I came back for? I should have stayed in CO..." The grass is always greener I guess.

    and thanks ajbaer and UV for the encouragement.
    ~'A Seven Nation Army Couldn't Hold Me Back'~

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