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Thread: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

  1. #26
    Senior Member Vesper's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    Quote Originally Posted by CherryBomb954 View Post
    Oh, yeah! A chance for me to flame on Jessica Simpson.
    I hated her anyways, but then when that whole "Chicken of the Sea" thing happened, it just made my fucking day. Then later on, of course, there was the whole rumor about them writing it in to the show, which I never believed. I mean they do script alot of stupid shit into reality shows, but till this day I really think that was a genuine moment. Plus, she probably had her publicists drum something up along those lines cause everyone was laughing at her stupid ass and she needed a save.
    We all know what I'm talking about right? If not, let me enlighten you...I'd love to tell the story.
    Not to mention Mariah Carey and "those flies and death and stuff".

    “I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me.” — Jessica Simpson

    “I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” — Britney Spears

    and some serious stupid:

    "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society."
    &
    "The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them."
    - Rush Limbaugh

  2. #27
    Veteran Member xxambyrrxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    My stoner friend in high school in class:

    "Man Ambyrr... if I was half as smart as you, you'd still be smarter than me."

    To this day it still brings a smile to my face every time I think about it.

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  4. #28
    Senior Member Vesper's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    A female classmate of mine, 24 year old priest:

    "I'm going to interview a girl who's working as a salesperson at a sex shop(=clean cut mainstream place). I want to know what it's like working in the sex industry."

  5. #29
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    the d.j at my club saying he doesn't like and won't play rap music because it degrades and objectifies women; like his bread and butter is all about uplifting women and being naked on a stage is not objectification..

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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    "You can trust me."

  7. #31
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M View Post
    "I don't sign my credit cards because it forces salespeople to ask for my ID."

    Dude, c'mon. First of all, it's so rare for anyone to even look at the name on the credit card much less check ID's. Secondly, if someone got a hold of your card they could just sign your friggin' name any way they like...
    So you mean, if a crook found a credit card that was unsigned, he would say "Oh shoot! I can't used this one because it's unsigned the salesperson will ask for ID!!!" LOL

  8. #32
    Senior Member punkpixie001's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    Quote Originally Posted by StrawberrySwitchblade View Post
    "You can trust me."
    That makes me really sad. But its so true.

  9. #33
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    one time i was talking to my friend at her work about europe. i mentioned paris and her co-worker interjected and said, "wait, paris, that's in london right? or no wait italy?"

    I just stared at her for a couple of minutes...I was in shock to say the least.

  10. #34
    Veteran Member BabyGirlKylie's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    I was leaving a bar with an upstairs VIP area. Above the elevator was a sign that said Maximum Occupancy 150 People.
    My friend : "Oh my gawd! You think we can really fit 150 people in the elevator?"
    Me: "Um, I believe that sign is for the room"
    "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.
    And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka and have a party."
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    "You're not too smart, are you? I like that in a man."

  11. #35
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    My mother had a few good ones:

    "WOW! Australia is great! The You Are Here sign says where I really am!!!!"
    reminds me of one i heard... was at a university campus and a girl picked up the map, printed on paper handouts, looks at it and goes, "where's the 'you are here' sign?"

  12. #36
    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    Quote Originally Posted by CKXXX View Post
    Talking to the DJ at work one day about vegetarianism. Stupid girl overhears.

    Stupid girl: Well we HAVE to eat animals otherwise there would be too many of them and they would take over the world. I dont want to be ruled by cows.

    uh huh...cause they arent..y'know..farmed or bred or anything....people are just out there hunting down the wild cow...
    lmmfao Everyone is coming up with such funny things please continue lol

    this is the only thread where im trying to be very careful what i say so someone doesn't just post after me and do this

    ^ meaning:whatever i just said was the dumbest thing they ever heard lol

  13. #37
    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    I called western union in new york recently and asked them how much would it be to send money from there to las vegas so the guy says

    "Ok you want to know how much it will be to send from new york ny to las vegas california?"

    I laughed and then said "no las vegas nevada"

    He said "exactly in california right?"

    I laughed again and said "las vegas is in the state of nevada"

    He says "oh i thought it moved" lmmfao

    I hung up

    lol

    How do you hire someone that thinks a city can relocate lmmmfaooooooooomg lol

  14. #38
    Featured Member Hello_Kitty27's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    "Wow! Those palm trees look like pineapples!!"
    I am so guilty of this.

    Your mom sounds awesome






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  15. #39
    Featured Member Hello_Kitty27's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    OK, so my aunt comes over to my mom and dad's house, with an attached garage. The garage door was open, so she goes into the garage and up to the door leading into the house and starts ringing the doorbell. No one comes to the door, so she walked in .... and tells my dad........drumroll please .....

    "Your doorbell is broke, every time I hit it, your garage door goes up and down"






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  17. #40
    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    another dumb ass question i hear all the time
    '
    Why do customers go up to a chick named fantasy pleasure sexy any of that and seriously ask "is that your real name"....seriously? seriously guy? lol

    another thing i hear all the time

    dj:"fantasy to the stage fantasy to the stage"
    Fantasy: "is he calling me?"

    lol no dumb ass hes calling me lol yes u lol

    another dumb thing i heard recently in the bathroom at the strip club in the dressing room

    girl doing coke:"omg i hate doing coke its for dumb bitches only dumb bitches do this shit and like it i'm so glad i hate this shit I could never be one of those girls!" SNIFFFFFFF lmmfao

    lol how can u say that and then do that? lol doesn't that make u a dumb bitch? lol oh man i have plenty more

    or this one


    new girl: how much do i have to tip out at the end of the night?

    manager: 50, 25 of that goes to the dj and the other 25 goes to your shift manager

    new girl: wow 100 a night what if i dont make that much

    seriously? lol

  18. #41
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    A friend and I were out and he was pretty wasted. I told him I would take him home (his place was on my way) and we could come back and get his car the next day. His reply?

    Him:"I can drive better sober than you can drunk!"
    Me: I agree. So I better drive you home.
    Him: A little louder this time "Fuck! I meant to say, I can drive better sober than you can drunk!"
    Me: That is what you did say, and I agree with you (laughing now!)
    Him: "No! No! No! I was trying to say that I can drive better sober, than you can drunk!"
    Me: Jingles keys and asks, "are you ready to go?" (Everyone around us is laughing now, too)
    Him: Nods yes and leaves with me.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  19. #42
    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    I have to mention this one...my little brother is 13 hes dieing of cancer so i let him write his name and then got it tatted on my arm so I could show him he means so much to me that I got a tat of his name and so i would have something personal from him forever

    so basically it looks like a kids hand writing on my arm

    why does at least 1 person a week come up to me and say

    "why do you write that on your arm everyday?"

    yes asshole for the past 6months everytime you see me i make sure i write the same thing on my arm the same way every time in the same place everytime ppl really bug me out

  20. #43
    Featured Member Hello_Kitty27's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    Quote Originally Posted by sexyjasmine View Post
    I have to mention this one...my little brother is 13 hes dieing of cancer so i let him write his name and then got it tatted on my arm so I could show him he means so much to me that I got a tat of his name and so i would have something personal from him forever
    That is the single sweetest and coolest thing I have ever heard of someone doing. Good luck to your brother.






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  21. #44
    Veteran Member BabyGirlKylie's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    When my cell phone company got bought by another company, they changed the voicemail system. So I go into the store...

    Me: I can't check my voicemail. It says my password is incorrect

    Cell Phone Guy: Oh yeah, we have a new voicemail system. You have to change your password.

    Me: How do I change my password?

    Cell Phone guy: Oh, it's all explained in your voicemail. We sent everyone a message.

    Me: But I can't get my voicemails without a password.

    Cell Phone Guy : Yeah well the message tells you how to set up your new password

    Me: And the message is a voicemail? That I can't access?

    Cell Phone Guy : *sigh* It's all explained in the voicemail.

    Me: So the instructions on how to get a new password are in a voicemail in the system I can't access because I don't have a password

    Cell Phone Guy: Yes.

    "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.
    And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka and have a party."
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    "You're not too smart, are you? I like that in a man."

  22. #45
    Veteran Member sexyjasmine's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    Quote Originally Posted by BabyGirlKylie View Post
    When my cell phone company got bought by another company, they changed the voicemail system. So I go into the store...

    Me: I can't check my voicemail. It says my password is incorrect

    Cell Phone Guy: Oh yeah, we have a new voicemail system. You have to change your password.

    Me: How do I change my password?

    Cell Phone guy: Oh, it's all explained in your voicemail. We sent everyone a message.

    Me: But I can't get my voicemails without a password.

    Cell Phone Guy : Yeah well the message tells you how to set up your new password

    Me: And the message is a voicemail? That I can't access?

    Cell Phone Guy : *sigh* It's all explained in the voicemail.

    Me: So the instructions on how to get a new password are in a voicemail in the system I can't access because I don't have a password

    Cell Phone Guy: Yes.


    This is tooooooo funny ! lol At that point I would've said "ok little boy may I please speak to your manager?" lol

  23. #46
    Featured Member Sveta's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    Quote Originally Posted by rubyredlipsss View Post
    one time i was talking to my friend at her work about europe. i mentioned paris and her co-worker interjected and said, "wait, paris, that's in london right? or no wait italy?"
    haha, I had a customer once tell me "Italy doesn't really exist. Like, there are stories about it, but it's not a real place."
    ~'A Seven Nation Army Couldn't Hold Me Back'~

  24. #47
    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    Quote Originally Posted by Vesper View Post
    Not to mention Mariah Carey and "those flies and death and stuff"
    Ok, now this one I haven't heard....can you elaborate for me???

  25. #48
    Veteran Member BabyGirlKylie's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    Quote Originally Posted by CherryBomb954 View Post
    Ok, now this one I haven't heard....can you elaborate for me???
    In an interview, she was quoted as saying "When I watch tv and see those poor staving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

    However, turns out she never really said that....check out snopes.com. It's my go-to site for the truth about stuff like this (and all those annoying spam emails and urban legends)
    "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.
    And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka and have a party."
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    "You're not too smart, are you? I like that in a man."

  26. #49
    Banned ArmySGT.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: What is the dumbest thing you have ever heard????

    My First Sergeant (E looked at me and in all seriousnes asked.

    "You Squad is getting out of the vehicles and searching for IEDs on foot. Right?"

    I just looked back for a second, replied yes and moved the hell out. Retard.

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