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Thread: how do you get over someone if three years have past?

  1. #1
    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default how do you get over someone if three years have past?

    my ex is marrying his fiance from an off again on again tomorrow. im destroyed. hes the only person i have ever truely loved. i feel like a stalker but i cant get over him 3 years down the road and a few relationships later....nothing works.

    we dont stay in contact, but i miss him ever so much, we were together for 2 and a half years.

    if onyl i knew what i knew now then i might have not been so stupid as to break up with him back then.

    im sorry im drunk and just utterly devastated. im not one to whine and put but seriously, if i were to ever kill myself today would be the day. im tired of missing him.

    way to go suicide thread, you infiltrated my thoughts today....

  2. #2
    Newbie elfy23's Avatar
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    Default Re: how do you get over someone if three years have past?

    I'm having the same problem. Mine decided to get back with his ex because he wants to get married and have kids. Try to stay busy; I notice that when I'm constantly doing stuff I reflect on the past less.

  3. #3
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: how do you get over someone if three years have past?

    There's a time and a place for everything and it didn't work out for a reason. You can always be happy with someone else.....It's never good to get tunnel vision when we think of exes...They're exes for a reason.....

  4. #4
    Peanut_Butter
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    Default Re: how do you get over someone if three years have past?

    I heard once it takes double the time you were with someone to get over them. If you were with someone for 1 year, it would take 2 years to get ovr them.

    I dunno if that's true or not, but I have to agree with the " they're ex's for a reason" and you just ahve to accept that it was not meant to be and try your best to move on..

    Maybe write him a letter, wishign him the best in his life and just release him from your mind. Don't send the letter, just write it for youself and for closure, and just tell him in the letter I hope you have a wonderful life, I no longer deserve to be held captive by you. Goodbye. Then just burn the letter, and now it's time to move on. If he starts creeping into your thoughts again, just say to yourself, " no! I have been released from thatpain. It's over. I will not allow those thoughts in my head anymore"

    I dunno. that sounds silly..but it works for me to let go of shit.

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    Default Re: how do you get over someone if three years have past?

    i wish i knew the answer. when you find out, lemme know. i almost started a thread like this a few weeks ago but decided against it bc i didnt know how to get out what i needed to say.

    i havent even spoken to this guy in a year and i still think about him often. i miss him and i want to know whats going on in his life and i want to see him. and i want him to NOT marry his gf.. who i dont even know if hes with her anymore. i remember the day he told me he was eventually going to propose to her and i felt like someone punched me in the stomach. if i watch my best friends wedding i cry.

    so.. yeah.. im not a big help. but if anyone knows i'd love to hear it.

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    Featured Member BrodieLux's Avatar
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    Default Re: how do you get over someone if three years have past?

    Damn I could have written the OP. I was with my ex for almost 4 years. He married a (ex) friend of mine after we ended. We broke up 3 years ago and havent stayed in contact. I think of him every day. I even dream of him all the time. I miss him like crazy and haven't met anybody who comes close. I've met people with potential but nothinghas gone anywherre. I haven't had a boyfriend since him. but I do know it ended for a reason. We were amazing together, but only for a certain time and place in our lives, which passed. We've grown in opposite directions in our lvies and are no longer compatible. it still sucks tho. I feel you, i.breathe.in.
    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousSeeker View Post
    ^Pssssttttt, your stripper is showing.

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    Veteran Member MissDewdrop's Avatar
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    Default Re: how do you get over someone if three years have past?

    Peanut Butter's idea is a good one: burning the letter might very well be cathartic for you. It won't eliminate the pain you feel, but the act of articulating your emotions and releasing them in a ritualized fashion gives you something concrete to do. You could even go farther and make an effigy of him, place it in a coffin-shaped box with the letter, and then burn the whole ensemble, all while visualizing the pain disintegrating. Wish him a good life and ask that your memories of him be happy, but no longer standards by which you measure your current and future relationships.

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    Featured Member BrodieLux's Avatar
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    Default Re: how do you get over someone if three years have past?

    I keep wanting to find some way to get his phone number and talk to him and just maybe have some closure that way...
    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousSeeker View Post
    ^Pssssttttt, your stripper is showing.

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    God/dess NinaDaisy's Avatar
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    Default Re: how do you get over someone if three years have past?

    I think there are some people that you never get over completely. That doesn't mean that your feelings for him won't continue to diminish or you won't ever love someone else though.

    The best advice I can give you is this: dating and relationships take a lot of time. I am stunned at how much I've accomplished while single. Try to make the most of that time to improve yourself and your life. Think about if there's something you've always wanted to do and see if you can start on the path to doing it.

    This is also because I believe that if you have a sense of accomplishment and are already the most complete and fulfilled woman you can be on your own, you'll exude the kind of energy that will eventually attract the right person for you.

    Not to mention that living well (meaning on your own terms) is the best revenge!

    Quote Originally Posted by BrodieLux View Post
    I keep wanting to find some way to get his phone number and talk to him and just maybe have some closure that way...
    I don't know about this. In my experience and that of almost every woman I know, there never seems to be such a thing as "closure". That conversation looking for closure always seems to bring more questions after it's over.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

    Ernest Hemingway on writer, aviation pioneer and horse trainer Beryl Markham


  10. #10
    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
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    Default Re: how do you get over someone if three years have past?

    i have tried the letter writing thing but it didnt work at all.

    i feel like a goober posting that, i was pretty drunk.

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