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Thread: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

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    Default "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    I started a new place last night and they asked me to do two bachelor parties. The second one was for a black guy that had already bought a dance from me, (crew 20 deep) The club has their routine they do with the bachelors, but it consists of taking his belt off and giving him three spanks on the ass as he bends over on the pole.... and then the girls sit on top while he's laying on his stomach, riding him like a dog, maybe throw the belt around his neck like a leash. I can't remember but I think all 4 of us girls were white. My question especially to black dancers or custies is if this is really offensive because instead of spanking and a leash it could look like "whipping" and a noose.

    I always overanalyze a bit, but I do feel like the whole party was a little different towards me after that. I work with the same dj tonight and was going to suggest not doing this, cuz I woke up at 6am feeling very ashamed, I should know better working in community centers. I'm usually the one to be offended first.... like "why does the swinging pole on a hangman's wood frame at the putt-putt golf course have to be painted black?"
    I would have rather done some Too $hort booty shakin on him or something, like my other crazy bikini bar where I do handstands in his chair and shake my ass in his face, but this is a classier gentlemen's club that only plays very mellow music, so I want to make suggestions how to change it instead of just criticizing, ya know come with solutions, I need to see how far we can take it,,,tastefully ya know?
    But white women spanking black men with an audience cheering just doesn't feel right........right?

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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    was he offended that you were all white? Maybe you are making this a racial issue when it isn't. But also, you didn't have to do it either if it made you uncomfortable.

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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    They were all getting dances from all different girls, so I don't think so.... I kind of feel like the other girls were shying away from it and they were telling me "take off his belt" and then when it came time when the dj announced the spankings, I had the belt in my hand... I didn't think about it really til after, but maybe I am making things bigger than they are. The guy was so drunk, he wasn't thinking about much of anything,, but the father of the bride was kinda mean muggin me after that. (but that could be cuz of his daughter too, I suppose)
    I just hate to do anything and its secretly making people cringe inside...
    Should I even say anything to the DJ or just not be the one with the belt in my hand, but is it politically correct anyway. I'm not one to just turn the other cheek.

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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    I think if anyone was offended it wouldve definatly been said. People rarely hold their tongues in front of strippers when they are drunk. Lots of strip clubs do spankings for the bachelors. Unless your city has really serious racial tensions he probably didnt think thats why he was being spanked.

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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    I think it would have been more offensive if he was treated differently than any other customer in the same situation. The guys likely knew the routine for bachelor dances and would have been disappointed if the service was tame due to the groom's race.

    Don't lose sleep over this. The customer's knew what they were buying.


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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    I advise my girls not to spank the black bachelor. It is very important for the black guy to always look and be "cool", they do not respond well to being publicly embarrassed, especially by a woman. Also, most black guys are very homophobic, so the ideal of being spanked, or anything going on in their ass area, threatens their perceived "masculinity".

    Quote Originally Posted by jazznasty
    But white women spanking black men with an audience cheering just doesn't feel right........right?
    P.S. I got spanked by several white women at my bachelor party


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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    I think it would have been more offensive if he was treated differently than any other customer in the same situation. The guys likely knew the routine for bachelor dances and would have been disappointed if the service was tame due to the groom's race.

    Don't lose sleep over this. The customer's knew what they were buying.
    I agree. Equality is treating everyone the same. Esp if they asked for it.

    There are def black male subs out there....or just ones that will enjoy the spankings and all that goes with it. It prob doesnt even dawn on them that it looks like a noose,etc....it's just what is done to bachelors. Whatever color they are.

    I think it would be MORE offensive if you said "we are going to treat you differently because you are black". If I was a black guy in that situation...I'd be MORE offended at that.

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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    thanks guys, Yeah I slept on it, asked a couple friends, and I came to the same conclusion as Paris. They had seen what takes place during these so they kind of knew what they were getting into.
    I just didnt realize that they wouldn't change it up just a bit from time to time, especially when they're that close to each other in time, have a few different things the dj can tell the girls to do to him. So then it doesn't seem like we're only changing it over race. But then again, when the dude dances for the girls, you should play something up his alley. Like my DJ will play more Mac Dre for some young local dudes or rock and roll for an older biker. Like how it's kind of accepted that you probably should subtley (sp?) ask a chunkier man if he's cool with taking off his shirt first, you don't want him to lose all of their manly pride.
    I'll do a search to see what kind of things you do to bachelors/birthday parties.

    Maybe the whole thing was just hard on the father in law, cuz they're telling him "should he get married?", every one yell "hell no", and then you have strippers coming up talking about I hope she's worth it.... and that's his daughter everyone's hatin on. and he's gotta watch her future husband get wasted and get lapdances from girls with his buddies.

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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Quote Originally Posted by ctstriptease1 View Post
    I advise my girls not to spank the black bachelor. It is very important for the black guy to always look and be "cool", they do not respond well to being publicly embarrassed, especially by a woman. Also, most black guys are very homophobic, so the ideal of being spanked, or anything going on in their ass area, threatens their perceived "masculinity".
    And white, latino, asian and arabic men don't think being "cool" isn't important? And I'm fairly sure public humiliation is not welcomed by anyone of any race or gender.

    The bachelor dance is a hazing ritual. I make this clear to the customers when I speak to them. If they should wish to skip this ritual, they need to tell the dancers this before the dance begins. It is really no different than some of the hazing stuff that goes on in frat houses, boot camp, gang initiations, sports team initiations etc. It's just something guys feel the need to do to one another.

    If you found your hazing traumatic, CT, it is the fault of your buddies, not the girls they hired to give the bachelor dance. You friends didn't make it clear to the girls that there wasn't supposed to be any bachelor hazing at the party. Or maybe your buddies wanted it that way? Most of the time it is a system of everyone takes his turn at his own bachelor party. Each guy in the group of friends returns the "favor" when the next friend gets married.


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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    ^^ I think ctstripteaze1 was just kidding Paris. It was a joke.

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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Quote Originally Posted by ahmeerah View Post
    ^^ I think ctstripteaze1 was just kidding Paris. It was a joke.
    Girl, you dont' know CT...he was so serious.







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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris
    And white, latino, asian and arabic men don't think being "cool" isn't important? And I'm fairly sure public humiliation is not welcomed by anyone of any race or gender.
    Being "cool" isn't as important to anyone else as it is black people. Have you ever heard of White people shooting someone for stepping on their new Air Jordan sneakers?

    White guys love to participate in the spanking ritual at bachelor parties, most white bachelors being spanked tell the girls they aren't hitting them hard enough! I grew up with white guys who were always whipping their dicks out and pulling down their pants for laughs, getting embarrassed at a bachelor party is nothing to those guys.

    (Six years of bachelor parties and I only had one asian bachelor and he cried after the girls whipped him. He was the only asian guy at the party too)

    Quote Originally Posted by paris
    If you found your hazing traumatic, CT, it is the fault of your buddies, not the girls they hired to give the bachelor dance.
    Actually, it didn't bother me at all (I just look like black people, but I'm not "black").


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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Yeah I was going to say, everything I've ever known about black men and just sorta the stigma of being "gay" how it's percieved was pretty dead on with what CT said.

    Obviously I don't think it applies for everyone but for a vast majority it does. All depends on how religious their parents were I think. I def know a few black guys that are chill as hell and still believe you can "catch the gay" I swear to god.

    There's a reason so much has been said about the down low over the last few years.
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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Quote Originally Posted by jazznasty View Post
    I started a new place last night and they asked me to do two bachelor parties. The second one was for a black guy that had already bought a dance from me, (crew 20 deep) The club has their routine they do with the bachelors, but it consists of taking his belt off and giving him three spanks on the ass as he bends over on the pole.... and then the girls sit on top while he's laying on his stomach, riding him like a dog, maybe throw the belt around his neck like a leash. I can't remember but I think all 4 of us girls were white. My question especially to black dancers or custies is if this is really offensive because instead of spanking and a leash it could look like "whipping" and a noose.

    I always overanalyze a bit, but I do feel like the whole party was a little different towards me after that. I work with the same dj tonight and was going to suggest not doing this, cuz I woke up at 6am feeling very ashamed, I should know better working in community centers. I'm usually the one to be offended first.... like "why does the swinging pole on a hangman's wood frame at the putt-putt golf course have to be painted black?"
    I would have rather done some Too $hort booty shakin on him or something, like my other crazy bikini bar where I do handstands in his chair and shake my ass in his face, but this is a classier gentlemen's club that only plays very mellow music, so I want to make suggestions how to change it instead of just criticizing, ya know come with solutions, I need to see how far we can take it,,,tastefully ya know?
    But white women spanking black men with an audience cheering just doesn't feel right........right?
    to be honest in my opinion I just think he didn't like it. I think it has nothing to do w race some people are into different things. It has nothing to do w black ppl trying to be "cool" and yes I have heard of a white guy stabbing not shooting (don't see the difference) someone for stepping on his sneakers.

    a black custy last night had no shame in trying to suck the nail polish off my toes in front of everyone while I was on stage doing my set.
    I also had white boys ask me play hip hop on my set and "freak it" and they made it rain

    it all depends on the person but I don't think its a racial thing. you wasnt hitting him on his back w the belt and you wasnt using the belt as i noose i dont see the problem. Maybe they just expected you to make him feel like a king onstage instead of making him feel like shit

    maybe it would be better next time while your giving the guy dances prior to get to know him no matter what race see what hes into and if you can accommodate. Then when the dj calls "spanking" you can give the bachelor the belt and scream "yes daddy give it to me" or something

    p.s You have to really understand the black culture to comment on black men being homophobic. Thats not what it is...ever listen to a CAMRON album or anything by dipset or lil wayne? all u hear after they say something gay is no homo and anyone that says that shit or does things to try to make the person their around "know" their not gay IS gay end of story

    for instance lil wayne says no homo 24/7 yet this is the same dude that kissed a man in the mouth and seen nothing wrong w it...think about that

    so its not ALL black men its just most black men that act like in that homophobic way and yes 9 times out of 10 they r gay
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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Interesting how this has evolved into black men feeling gay by being spanked, I just wanted to make sure that it was politically correct to be whipping a black man publicly.
    I guess I became more aware of it because of a foot fetish customer... he loved to be dominated i.e. he wore a collar that he would put a chain on for you to lead him around with or demand him to suck your toes.... so I assumed he would be into the whole spanking thing but he said,,,, "oh no, no spanking for a black man" as if that would be taking it too far.
    and guys i've dated definitely feel the only acceptable ass smacking should be in sports.
    Anyway should I even say anything to the DJ about how it might offend some black people or just keep my mouth shut, since I'm brand new and I heard he's already very picky about girls asking him what kind of music to play, cuz it assumes he doesn't know how to do his job. I'm gonna try to get to know him tonight.

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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Think of all the redneck white homophobic guys that are all about looking "cool" or "manly" esp in front of their friends. To say that is is restricted to one race is pretty small minded.

    I've met a LOT more asshole homophobic white guys then black TBH.

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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    ^ I just want to be clear in stating I don't think it's just to ONE race. But we were speaking about one race.
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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Quote Originally Posted by CKXXX View Post
    I think it would be MORE offensive if you said "we are going to treat you differently because you are black". If I was a black guy in that situation...I'd be MORE offended at that.
    I would think the same way if I was that black guy if the above happened instead.

    Do you live in a city OP where the spanking and whipping in s trip club might be considered unethical to do to a black man?

    To me I think you are over thinking this. If he was having fun and you were both comfortable with what you were doing then I don't see a problem. If you are not comfortable doing certain things then by all means respect your boundaries and don't do them. You'll work happier that way.
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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Quote Originally Posted by jazznasty View Post
    Interesting how this has evolved into black men feeling gay by being spanked, I just wanted to make sure that it was politically correct to be whipping a black man publicly.
    Too funny - this relates to homophobia?!

    I remember in the BDSM community there was debate and awkwardness felt when images of BDSM slavery looked quite simular to trans-Atlantic slavery. I think most people have got past that though and realise that recreational fun and choice is just that. If youre not dressed up like the KKK whilst beating him and yelling out "Kill [email protected]#$%s" I cant see why there'd be a problem

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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    In my opinion: if you do the same thing for everyone, it isn't racist... but if you make it special for one colour because you're afraid of racism, then you've proven the point. You've made it racist. Why shouldn't a black man be spanked and tied up like a doggy - he's a freaking BACHELOR too!! Not doing it just because of his colour is showing your fear of treating him just like everyone else...


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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophia_Ashley View Post
    Yeah I was going to say, everything I've ever known about black men and just sorta the stigma of being "gay" how it's percieved was pretty dead on with what CT said.

    Obviously I don't think it applies for everyone but for a vast majority it does. All depends on how religious their parents were I think. I def know a few black guys that are chill as hell and still believe you can "catch the gay" I swear to god.

    There's a reason so much has been said about the down low over the last few years.
    Actually, I'm with you here. From my experience, I've noticed the same. I don't understand why this is. Well, I have my own theories but that's an entirely other topic.

    But all the different races should be treated the same. Spank them all!

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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    I no longer will do bachelor parties because humiliating a guy in front of the whole club doesn't sound like the best boost to your dancer image. Black or white, you're now the bitch who beat a guy with a belt in front of the whole club. I think the whole belt thing should be done away with entirely - isn't there a way to nicely embarrass them for the amusement of their friends?

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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    I think it would have been more offensive if he was treated differently than any other customer in the same situation. The guys likely knew the routine for bachelor dances and would have been disappointed if the service was tame due to the groom's race.

    Don't lose sleep over this. The customer's knew what they were buying.
    Agreed. Refusing to do it because he was black would have been offensive. As long as you're not wearing a white sheet over your head, I doubt being spanked onstage by a stripper brought racism to his mind.
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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Quote Originally Posted by ctstriptease1 View Post
    Being "cool" isn't as important to anyone else as it is black people. Have you ever heard of White people shooting someone for stepping on their new Air Jordan sneakers?

    White guys love to participate in the spanking ritual at bachelor parties, most white bachelors being spanked tell the girls they aren't hitting them hard enough! I grew up with white guys who were always whipping their dicks out and pulling down their pants for laughs, getting embarrassed at a bachelor party is nothing to those guys.

    (Six years of bachelor parties and I only had one asian bachelor and he cried after the girls whipped him. He was the only asian guy at the party too)
    Am I the only one that thinks your posts are slightly racist?
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    Default Re: "Spanking" a black bachelor too offensive?

    Quote Originally Posted by kitana
    Am I the only one that thinks your posts are slightly racist?
    Let's beat this dead horse some more, because I only skimmed original post, but after throughly reading, it's absolutely hilarious! What a great example of white guilt (the white OP was worried that spanking would bring up slavery connotations but thinks the "Too $hort" booty dancing would be more appropriate for the brothas). It reminds me of when I dated a white girl whose parents were embarrassed to offer me watermelon.

    Quote Originally Posted by jazznasty
    But white women spanking black men with an audience cheering just doesn't feel right........right?
    No, it was wrong for you do and you should have given that black guy lap dances and money for reparations from the 400 years of slavery that all white people are responsible for!


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