Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: i feel like i can't trust anyone

  1. #1
    God/dess
    Joined
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,427
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 30 Times in 22 Posts

    Default i feel like i can't trust anyone

    byebyebye
    Last edited by britt244; 10-01-2008 at 09:20 PM.

  2. #2
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    431
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    This is my experience and I might sound negative..but I think people can pick up on when someone is "too trusting" and the WRONG people are the fastest ones sense you only to set you up for future catastrophe. The wrong people know how to smartly act as if they're the "trusting good friend" that you've been missing out on your whole life, only to lure you in and screw you over in the end. If your friend betrayed her bf, use your gut and don't be her next victim...People like that will NEVER admit their faults and they will pretend that they're the greatest friend.

    I sometimes think maybe we don't truly need to "let someone in"..It's great to have friends and companions, but is it worth it to give our soul and emotions to them? One person told me, "Why should I give my heart to someone only when they're going to break it?"

  3. #3
    Veteran Member
    Joined
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    431
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    i just dont know if i'm being paranoid because ive been hurt before. i mean, i've been a bad friend to some people but that doesnt mean i'm a bad friend, period. so i think it's unfair of me to automatically conclude that she'll betray me because she did it to someone else.

    i just dont know what to think anymore.

    That's just what I would do , b/c when I give second chances to people..they end up doing something even worse..

  4. #4
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Livingston, NJ
    Posts
    1,576
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    i think i expect too much from people. my standards are too high. i expect people to be loyal to me because i am to them, honest with me because i am with them, etc. i guess that's my problem because most people just aren't the ideal that i imagine.
    no, i don't think those are unreasonable expectations. unrealistic? maybe.

    but quite frankly, i have similar feelings/expectations from my friends/associates/family/etc. if i'm being honest, unselfish, caring, etc., why shouldn't they?

    but the reality is, not everyone fits our expectations. to really expect them to be those things (versus hoping) would be (ironically enough) unreasonable.

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    am i wrong not to give people 2nd chances? there's one girl who i was pretty close with, and BOTH of us screwed up. i dont even remember a lot of the details. but even after i did some shitty stuff to her in response to things she did to me (mature. i know.) she's (in a way) been there for me. she got out of bed and came back to work to pick me up and take me home one night when i was too drunk to start my car, and she's kept secrets that ive told her even though we aren't friends anymore.
    i think people deserve at least as many chances as we would like for ourselves.

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    as a result, i dont have many close friends. i dont let a lot of people get close to me, and every day i feel like people that i trust are becoming more and more untrustworthy. at the same time, i feel like i can be *too* trusting and i trust the wrong people with information i shouldn't.
    try not to worry about 'how many', real life isn't like myspace, it's not how many you have but the quality of who they are. i can count my real friends almost on one hand. i don't want or need more and quite frankly i can get by with even less than i have at the moment.

    as for trust, it is/should be a hard thing to earn back.

    otoh, i think a certain level of it should be given freely but once betrayed or used or whatever, it should be next to impossible to earn back imho. separates "the users" vs. "genuinely sorry".

    is that a really high/unrealistic standard? yeah, but real friendship and trust is/should be worth it.

    give your friends the chance but time and actions will prove it out.

  5. #5
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Riding my man's D*ck
    Posts
    914
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    I have these same issues.

    I've trusted in the wrong people and got badly burned. But you know what? These people are only hurting themselves in the end. Some how, some way, they will get get taught a lesson about love and respect.

    I've learned to observe people and be very cautious as far as who I choose to be friends with. Are they smart? Do they backstab others? Are they positive people? Do they bring out the best in me? Are they wanting to be friends with me for real, or are they using me for a selfish purpose?

    I think the only way to get respect is to show people that You Will Not Be Fucked With. Not in a hurtful way, but in a way that will teach them to quit being fucking assholes.

    Anyhow...I kow how you feel and it sucks. Why can't people just be cool? I think it has a lot more to do with their own negative self-perceptions than it has to do with you.

  6. #6
    God/dess
    Joined
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Temporary Lurkmode...
    Posts
    12,609
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 79 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    I'm going to be honest and say you need some help. You need to talk to a professional about these trust issues. We can only relate to you and give you our ways of solutions. While a pro can offer many ways and be able to sit down and talk to you about it and work through the feelings that come up. I do think you mentioned seeing a pro in a few other threads. Hope you continue with that aggressively.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



  7. #7
    Veteran Member jennahoff's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    502
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 6 Times in 3 Posts

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    I trust very few people.
    I trust my immediate family(mom dad siblings).
    Beyond that, theres no one i can say i trust 100%.
    I trust my boyfriend ALOT but not 100%.

    Maybe it comes with age(not that im old..26) but i know i have been "burned" a few times in my past, extending my trust to someone and it bit me in the ass.
    So maybe im just jaded now.

    My dad always said theres only 2 things u can trust. Blood, and the dollar in your pocket. I am fortunate to be able to trust my family cause i know alot of people cant even do that.

    Also, while im really not a negative person..i find that i dont expect too much out of most people.
    ~jenna~

  8. #8
    Alaska
    Guest

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    I def feel you. You shouldn't know what to think. Ah, being alone is great to me, I turn the other cheek so I won't have to get involved......I wish ppl were so much less shitty, there could be a middle ground.....don't have to be best friends, and don't have to x ppl out of yr life completely. Every friend that I've had that's offended me, I've only given 2nd chances to one, and 2 years later the friendship is obsolete, it didn't work out.

    I think females go into close friendships never thinking there will be an end. Relationships usually have an end, same with friends---most ppl are just not cut out to be in yr life long-term, but it's extra devastating when it happens with a girlfriend. Women also expect different things from their female friends, comfort, sympathy, being #1 or so I read.

    I'd just try to think long term...maybe put it to rest for a few months or a year, but resume it later if ya'll are really meant to be.


    I can't tell you how much yr post reminds me of my bf's train of thought, thought-for-thought! Must be a Leo thing.

  9. #9
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Riding my man's D*ck
    Posts
    914
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    I can't even trust my own family. It sucks. The only person I can trust is my hubby.

  10. #10
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    It depends what u are trusting them with? There are very few people who I would even considering trusting with everything. But there are different levels of trust and I dont think I'm untrusting in general, just careful about who i would trust with the most important things.

    I dont think what u describe is problematic.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

  11. #11
    Veteran Member got2havespunk's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    341
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    I also have great trust issues, and suffer from having very few friendships because of it. I know you are such a great person, so I'd hate to see you hurt. She really does *seem* to have the tendency to bring out the worst in other girls, but I know of her limitedly-that's just the same amount of times I've met her. But if that's any indication of how she is in real friendships, then I'd say you may be a bit too trusting. Only you know that, because I've had friends in the past that came off that way, but are still great friends to this day.
    Best of luck, and I hope you make the right decision for you.

  12. #12
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Another Country
    Posts
    18,664
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 148 Times in 100 Posts

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    You kiddin'? It's like lately I feel like I can't even trust my sprinklers to water my lawn anymore. Fuck people have gotten so untrustworthy lately. They're always late, they always agree to shit and just never do it.

    Becoming a recluse sounds more and more worth it, doesn't it?

    I have one amazing good friend I can count on... I'd be devastated if something happened.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  13. #13
    MsQwerty
    Guest

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    Theres only one person you can truely trust and rely on and that is yourself. No one owes anyone anything and vice versa so there should be no expectations.
    Some may think thats a negative statement but really its not (-:
    Even the most wonderful people can leave others feeing hurt,, betrayed or let down, thats just how life is.
    Dont give out information to people if they can later hurt you with it. Be good to yourself and others and thats the best you can do.

  14. #14
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    I think u should be careful about trusting her.
    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    when regulars turn cheap, it's time to kill em off.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lysondra View Post
    You're still a vagina.
    There are many stereotypes about the industry that I work in. Sometimes they can be true but human beings are very diverse creatures and cannot be pigeon-holed into one category.

    Some of the most effortlessly beautiful, kind, intelligent, successful, motivated, driven and ridiculously hilarious women that I have ever met have been dancers. I've met the best friends that I've ever had in this industry.

  15. #15
    Featured Member CherryBomb954's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1,541
    Thanks
    265
    Thanked 242 Times in 138 Posts

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    i expect people to be loyal to me because i am to them, honest with me because i am with them
    I am this way too. I have been told and have felt myself that this is one of my "downfalls".
    I am not even sure %100 if I necessarily consider it a downfall, but lets' just say I have been in situations that I have blamed being this way on.
    My dad has tried to pound it into my skull my whole life to not be this way, but I just can't help it, I guess (he also will not listen to me and it'll be one big "i told u so" if I try to discuss getting screwed over with him)
    When it comes down to it, I guess, no secret is really safe, especially with females. Good girlfriends that you can trust and won't go blab your business to everyone are pretty few and far between.
    Most people are pretty much out for themselves I think too.
    I'm not trying to be all doom and gloom, I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, but I guess it's just one of those factors of life on this earth and dealing with other human beings.
    *hug*

  16. #16
    Banned i.breathe.in's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2006
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    4,967
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: i feel like i can't trust anyone

    hun i am in the same boat as you. i give people second chances occasionally but never 3rd. with me its blakc and white.

    i think thats why my relationships always fail. i dont give anyone a chance to redeem themselves.

Similar Threads

  1. trust
    By blueyegurl_05 in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 04-11-2006, 06:09 PM
  2. Trust
    By cheetahchick in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 01-29-2006, 07:49 PM
  3. Trust?
    By Moneywise in forum Shop Talk
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 02-06-2004, 11:28 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •